


Heart of a Hero

by Shadowpuff



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A lot of Suicide, Acid-like Kryptonite, Aftermath of Torture, Alex & Kara Soulmates, Alien Bar, Alien doesn't mean 'evil', Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Kara Danvers, Comic Book Past- Non, DC Aliens, Dark!Winn, Dream like state, Flashbacks, Fort Rozz (DCU), General Lane is an Asshole, Green Lantern - Freeform, Head of the House of El, Illegal Immigrants- Aliens, Implied self-cannibalism, Info on Fort Rozz, Interview, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, James gets his head out of his butt, Kara Researches Everything, Kara sides with Astra, Krypton had strict laws, Kryptonian Biology, Kryptonian Culture, Kryptonian History, Kryptonian Mapping, Kryptonian Religion, Kryptonian Social Structure, Kryptonian Technology, Kryptonian colonies, Lady El, Lena Luthor Mentioned - Freeform, Lucy Lane knows Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Matriarchal society, Max is less of an idiot, Mentor!Non, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Morally Ambiguous Astra, Morally Ambiguous Non, Multi, Mutilation, Myriad, Non acting Wierd, Obsessive Behavior, PTSD!Kara, Personal Interpretation there of, Planet Classification, Project Cadmus, Repeated Time Loops, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal actions, Suicidal!Kara, Suicide, Temporal energy, That should get shot, The Situation around Myriad is complicated, Time Loop, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Torture, Universe Reset Button, Zor-El's A+ Parenting, artist!kara, barry is a good friend, rape flashbacks, savage - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-04-06 21:53:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 91,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14066370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowpuff/pseuds/Shadowpuff
Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.





	1. TimeLine 2

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: TimeLine 2  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of torture  
> Warning. Major Character Death  
> 00000

Timeline 1

Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had, after all, years of experience over her. Not only as a soldier, but years spend at mastering his powers.

Honestly, Kara was only trying to hold off till J’onn was done with Indigo, so he could help her. She just needed to keep Non distr-

Kara coughed, blood spitting out of her mouth and ran down her chin. She felt a pain in her chest and looked down.

A male hand had erupted out of her chest, her blood clinging to the black sleeve. Kara gasped, trying to get air into her damaged lungs, but it was futile. Her vision started to blacken and her body went cold. She didn’t even feel the hand pull out of her.

Her vision blurs slightly, and she blinks slowly, trying to see the sky one last time. When she looks up, she finds herself in Non’s arms, his bloodied hand stroking her hair and face softly. Kara can’t stop herself from pushing her face into the comforting touch.

“N-No-Non,” Kara tried to gasp out, her mouth moving only as no sound came out.

“Hush child,” Non said and started singing. Kara was sure she knew the song, but her ears were only catching every other word and his voice was fading away along with his face.

She wanted to reach up and touch him, but her hands were too heavy. Her chest was still and he-

00000

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Kara shot up, clutching her throat as she gasped for breath. She took short hiccupped breaths as she looked around her.

She was in her apartment.

How? What?

Kara clawed at her chest, quickly ripping her sleep shirt and stared at the space between her breasts. The skin was smooth, glittering only in sweat. (Her vision blurs as she sees blood splatted all over her chest, the hole visible again)

Kara screams and jumps to the side. She ends up on her back, staring up at her ceiling. Her hand slams onto the whole flesh. She breaths fast and shallow, her heart hammering in her chest.

She stands up slowly, her legs shaking as her knees threaten to give in. Kara grips her bedside table, her fingers digging into it and splintering the wood.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Her face now inches away from the clock, Kara heard her alarm ringing clearing. (How could she not hear it until now?)

Kara slammed her hand down on the clock, easily crushing it flat. Edges dig into her skin, but the soft prickling doesn’t register as Kara pushes herself towards the bathroom.

Her stomach turns with every step and Kara has to move to grip the archway. She held still, her eyes closed tightly, enough to even start to hurt. She took several breaths before taking another step, then another. Then another. Then another.

Her knees give away and her hands stop her descent. She digs her fingers into the porcelain of her toilet, cracks appearing as she pulls herself over the bowl.

Kara opens her mouth as bile pushes up her throat and started spilling out. Kara heaves around the bile, trying to keep her breath even. She knew she could hold her breath, but even the idea of doing so…

(Kara gasps, knowing it’s no use. Not one of the four chambers that make up her lungs were still whole. Blood pools at the back of her throat as she coughs, trying to clear her airways, but more keep coming.)

Kara can’t even shake the memory before even more bile raises up.

It takes several minutes before Kara’s stomach is completely empty, her body still dry heaving over the toilet. The action finally stops, sweat covering her body as her pajamas cling to her.

Kara takes several deep breaths, trying to calm her beating heart. She pushes herself up, her hands breaking more of the toilet bowl as she did so.

Kara pushes herself to the sink, falling on top of it, her body refusing to hold itself up. She looks up, seeing her ashed face staring back at her. Her eyes were bloodshot and her shirt still ripped open.

Kara forced herself to stand up straight, pulling off her shirt and throwing it to the ground. She stares at her chest, the smoothness and evenness of her skin causing her heart to hammer even more wildly. She struggles, but is able to turn around. She bends her head back and looks at the spot between her shoulder blades. And like her chest, the skin was smooth and even.

At that Kara gives up and allows her body to fall back to the ground. She falls on her side, the coldness of the floor feeling good against her warm body. Kara stared into her bedroom, her vision blurring again.

(Would she be back in that field when she opens her eyes again?)

Kara’s eyes snap open and she forces herself back on her knees. She looks around herself wildly, making sure she was still in her bathroom.

Finding she was, Kara pulled herself into the shower, opening the cold water as much as she could. The freezing liquid hits her and her muscles tighten in objection. She sat on her knees, her face pointed to the shower head, for several moments as her body started to get used to the temperature. In response, Kara turned off the cold water and opened the hot water.

The burning liquid hits her, her skin not even turning red as it did. (Alex screams as she steps into the bath Kara prepared for her. The water burning her foot. Eliza runs in, seeing her oldest on the floor, crying as she gript her red, blistering foot. Alex had to stay off it for two days after that incident. And she never trusts Kara with the bath again.)

Kara stays under the water till it turns cold.

Turning off everything, Kara forced her body to stand up, her legs protesting. She heads to the kitchen, uncaring of the water that pretty much drowns her floor.

Kara takes out several glasses and a large can of an emergency protein shake, for the days she forgets to eat. (Her body feels heavy as she heads towards Ms. Grant's office. Her vision blurs and she’s not even sure what she was supposed to be doing. Her hands are shaking and legs jerk as she walks. Her vision gets worse, blackness growing at the edges)

She drinks the glasses one after the other before heading to her refrigerator. She shoves two cupcakes into her mouths and falls to the floor, chewing aggressively.

Now, with her mind calm and her blood sugar up, questions float around in her head.

How did she get to her apartment?

Why wasn’t she dead?

Why didn’t she have a hole in her chest?

… What was going on?

Her phone rings suddenly and Kara has to force herself to stand up. She pauses before she heads to her bedroom, grabbing another cupcake before stumbling off.

She half falls on her bed, her wet pajama bottoms only now registering in her head. She looks at the caller ID.

Winn.

Winn was alive.

Did that mean that J’onn was able to stop myriad? Was it him that saved her? If it was, why was she in her apartment instead of at the DEO?

Or…

Had she been in a coma?

“W-Winn?” Kara said, her voice shaking and soft.

“Hey, Kara. Are you coming to work? Ms. Grant has been shouting for you for almost 10 minutes now,” Winn told her.

“Work?” Kara asked, trying to raise her voice beyond the shaking whisper.

“Wow. You sound horrible. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound like this,” Winn said. His voice was worried, but… light. Like there was nothing he had to worry about.

“Myriad,” Kara said, her head starting to hurt, “What about Non and Indigo?”

“Who?” Winn asked.

“Winn?” Kara asked, her heart starting to hammer again.

“Kara, I don’t think you should come to work today. You sound… horrible and confused. Not that you sound bad, you just sound sick, you actually have a nice voice- I mean-” Winn starts to rumble.

“Yeah,” Kara cuts him off, her head starting to pound, “I don’t feel so great.”

“Ok. I’ll tell one of the interns to help Ms. Grant,” Winn said, “Get some sleep. Ok… Bye Kara.”

“Bye,” Kara said, her head spinning.

Sleep? No. She couldn’t sleep now. She needed to get to the DEO. Find out what Non and Indigo did. Find out wh-

Kara choked when she saw the date on her phone.

October 26, 2015

It was nearly seven months earlier than it should be.

What was going on?

0000

Timeline 2

After 4 hours and several internet searches later Kara started to believe she was actually in the past. There was no mention of Supergirl, Ms. Grant’s emails leaking, an attack on Lord Industries or even the widespread natural disaster when she lost her powers. It was all gone- No…

It hadn’t happened yet.

The question now was: how did she travel back in time? Was it Non? And if it was, why? Was he back too? And if he wasn’t and she was alone… What should she do?

Should she go to Kal- No, she couldn’t. He was off planet. That left the DEO.

But would they listen to her? Technically they didn’t know her and she shouldn’t know about them, or even about Alex working for them. Then there was J’onn who was hiding as Hank. Should she reveal that she knows? Would that make him trust her? Or should she call Alex and see if she could explain everything?

Shaking her head, Kara stood up from her bed. She was still only in her pajama pants, now dry. She needed to take a proper shower and get changed. Then… then she was going to head to the DEO.

Except she didn’t have her suit. Would they trust her if she didn’t wear it? Or will they be even less willing to listen if she did?

Would they be afraid of her?

No. These people know she wasn’t dangerous; they wouldn’t hurt her.

0000

Except they did.

Kara bit her lip as the Kryptonite cuffs were bound over her arms. Even the low-grade green rock burned at her skin, a stinging sensation traveling through her nerves. She tried to block out the pain, but it kept lingering in her mind.

She had arrived, flying over their training grounds before landing at the front door. She went in and was immediately met with normal guns. She tried to talk, but they started firing. When they realize the bullets kept bouncing off her they called in for their ‘green grade’. The new bullets, Kryptonite bullets, replaced the normal ones and they fried again.

Kara had to force herself to keep conscious, but when they realized that, they called for the cuffs.

Now she was in a cell, Kryptonite radiation seeping into it as the cuffs burns at her wrists and the bullets still rested in her body. The bullets alone were burning her and her vision was slowly going dark.

No, she couldn’t give up.

Kara sat up and started to dig the bullets out of her body. One, two, three, four- the skin was fried of her finger points- five, six, seven- she had no more feelings on her fingers. Most of the meat had been burned away and the radiation was traveling through her veins and up her arm- eight, nine, ten, eleven- Her pointing finger was down to her bone when she got the last of the bullets out.

She took her other hands and ripped at her shirt. She struggled, not as much as she would have if there hadn’t been so many holes in the shirt, and then wrapped her fingers individually.

It wasn’t easy, the cuffs restricting her movements, but she used her teeth to finish of the make-shift bandages.

“You’re still awake,” a voice came. A voice she recognized. Kara looked up and saw J’onn in his disguise as Hank.

“Please,” Kara said, her voice shaking, “I’m not here to hurt anyone.”

“Do you know where you are?” J’onn asked, not moving from his spot.

“The DEO,” Kara said before swallowing, “I know, I know it’s weird that I know about this place, but I can explain… just, please… the kryptonite, it burns.”

“I don’t know you Miss Danvers, and the last time I checked, you are the reason the DEO exists,” J’onn told her.

Oh. She forgot about that. Not forgot, forgot, but… the DEO had stopped blaming her for Fort Rozz when everyone found out about Indigo, how she connected the prison to her pod. Here, now, no one knew that. She was still the reason these people lived in fear.

The worst criminals of the galaxy.

But was that true? What about that Professor? The one that was caught as a drug mule? His first run, one he only did to save one of his wives? Were their others like that?

“Then get Alex. Please. She’ll know I’m telling you the truth,” Kara said.

“Agent Danvers is one her way to Geneva,” J’onn said and Kara’s heart stopped.

“What?” Kara asked, her voice a breathless whisper as her body turned clammy and cold.

“Is she the one that told you of the DEO?” J’onn asked.

“No! No J’onn you have to listen! You have to get Alex off that plane! Astra is going to have someone sabotage one of the engines! She’s going to die! J’onn please!” Kara shouted as she sprung forward, hitting the glass of the cell with her bond fists. 

J’onn’s eyes narrowed, but Kara could see he was afraid. She knew who he was, used his name.

“What did you just say?” J’onn asked.

“Astra, she going to have the plane crash,” Kara said.

“Who is Astra,” J’onn asked.

That’s right. Astra, Non, and the rest of their resistance were high profile criminals. Their existence was kept on separate records. It was Kal, after she contacted him, that brought the information from the fortress. They transferred the information over to the DEO’s computer and Kara learned of what her aunt had done.

(Kara always wondered why though. Why was their imprisonment such a large secret? Was it because of their crimes, because of Myriad? Or was is it something else- No. Her mother wouldn’t do that. It had to because of Myriad. It had to be.)

“Who is Astra?” J’onn asked again.

“She’s an inmate of Fort Rozz. She’s my Aunt,” Kara said.

That was the wrong thing to say.

“Your Aunt? Is that why you know about the plane? Are you working with her? Where is she? Is she the one in charge of everything? What is her plan?” J’onn asked, stepping closer.

“NO!” Kara shouted, “I’m not working with Astra. Look, please, you have to get Alex off that plane. You have to save her! Please J’onn,” Kara said.

J’onn narrowed his eyes and pressed a few things on the controls by the door. At first, Kara thought he was lowering the Kryptonite radiation or letting her go, but then she recognized the sequence he was putting in.

He was increasing the radiation.

“No! Please!” Kara cried as the burning sensation covered her body. The stinging became worse, traveling throughout her body, igniting her nerves. She fell to the floor, twitching occasionally as she vision started to blank.

“Please. Alex,” Kara muttered, her voice hardly audible.

0000

When Kara woke up she was in another cell. Her cuffs were off and the bullets had been taken away. The burning sensation was lessened, but still there. Even bit of her solar energy was being used to heal her body and keep the radiation from causing too much damage. Once she ran out…

Her fingers were newly wrapped and she was even wearing different clothes. Kara shuddered immediately. She wondered who changed her and what else they did to her body while she was unconscious. She’s heard and read too many stories of what happened to female prisoners.

(She remembers hearing some of the male DEO agents talking about her aunt. Heard the crude things they said about her. What they wanted to do once she, Alex, and J’onn weren’t around. She immediately went to J’onn and from then only she, Alex and J’onn had access to her cell. It was J’onn’s access code General Lane had used.)

Kara sat up and looked around her. She was still behind thick glass, but instead of being in a sphere, the room was divided by it. She had a cot on one end of the room and a toilet and sink combo on the other. The glass had two doors. One large enough for a person to walk through and the smaller one by the floor, no doubt for her food.

The door opened and General Lane walked into the room, several of his men following him. He walked up to the glass and knocked on it like she was an animal at a zoo he needs to get the attention off.

Maybe that because that’s what she was now. A zoo attraction.

“Kara Danvers,” Lane said and Kara took a deep breath, “My name is General Sam Lane. I am now in charge of the DEO.”

“Where’s Hank Henshaw?” Kara asked.

“You mean J’onn J’onzz?” Lane asked as he walked back and forth in front of her cell wall.

“What?” Kara asked. No. They shouldn’t know about that.

“Yes. In fact, I should thank you for that. If it wasn’t for you, we may never have found about the deception,” Lane told her, a smug smile on his face.

No. She did it again. Caused J’onn to be revealed. But if he was free? He would be able to save her or get Kal to get her.

“The Martian has been locked away. He will be transferred to Cadmus in a few hours,” Lane told her.

Well, there goes that plan.

“Alex Danvers?” Kara asked, needing to know.

For the first time ever, Kara saw sympathy in the man’s eyes. But the emotion didn’t fill her with comfort, “No, please no.”

“Agent Danvers was killed when her plane to Geneva lost one of its engines and crashed into CatCo. She and nearly 2,000 humans have been declared dead,” Lane told her.

“No,” Kara muttered before she clenched her fists, slamming them on the glass. The soldiers immediately raised their guns, pointing them at her, “Why didn’t you listen to me!”

“I think the real question is Miss Danvers is how you had this information,” Lane told her.

“It’s complicated,” Kara said as she stepped away from the glass, her mind still on the fact her sister was dead.

“More complicated than the theory that you are working with your Aunt?” Lane asked her.

“… seven months in the future I’m- I was fighting against Non-”

“Non?” Lane asked, mispronouncing the name.

“Non is Astra’s husband. He took over after Astra was killed,” Kara explained, not bothering to put enthuses on the names. Humans never get them right. They literally didn’t have the vocal ability to do so, “He defeated me and I died, I think. When I woke up I found myself in my apartment.”

“Time Travel,” Lane said in disbelief, “That’s what you’re going with?”

“It’s the truth!” Kara told him.

 “Here’s what I think. You found out about your Aunt and joined her, but realized that Agent Danvers was in danger and you developed a conscience,” Lane said.

“No, that’s not what happened,” Kara tried to explain.

“I think it is. Now, Kara Zor-El. You’re going to tell us everything,” Lane said.

“And if I don’t give you the answer you want,” Kara asked.

Lane smirked and walked over to the wall opposite the glass wall. He pressed a few buttons and the burning increased.

Kara screamed, the burn attacking every one of her cells.

“I’ll leave it there for a while. When I come back, maybe you’ll be more willing to talk,” Lane said and left Kara screaming, green veins covering her body.

00000

Alex once asked her what kryptonite feels like. It was after she was captured by the Fort Rozz guard and placed in a cell with Red Sun Radiation. Kara had taken the technology and had asked that the training room be refitted with it instead of the kryptonite radiation.

She told Alex that is was like having stiff muscles in the morning, that the pain was like her muscles hurting after an extensive workout. It was like she was she’s been running on one hour of sleep in three days and was just tired and disorganized.

She lied.

Kryptonite was like a paper cut. That stinging sensation that doesn’t stop. But instead of it just being in one place it felt like it was everywhere on her body. And when she touched her home world’s rock, it was like bathing in a tub of lemon juice when her entire body is covered in paper cuts. That holding it for long starts to burn her flesh away like an ice cube melting when you hold your finger on it.

Being around it for too long was like her nerves were on fire, the pain pulsing through her body. She couldn’t move, not because her muscles were stiff, but because the nerves tighten the muscles, making it impossible for her to contract and relax them. Like a cramp that covered your whole body.

It was not being able to think of anything except the pain. That no other thought entered your mind, could enter your mind. You can’t sleep, except when the pain knocks you out, but even then the pain will only wake you up again. It’s like wishing and praying for it to end but knowing it wouldn’t. That there was nothing that can help you.

You lose hope.

Now, Kara learned another thing about Kryptonite. Once your powers ‘dry up’ the pain only gets worse. Without any solar energy to heal you, burns start appearing all over your body.

Her three fingers on her right hand had to be amputated, none of them healing. In fact, they just got worse, all three ending up burning to the bone.

Kara hated Kryptonite. Hated Sam Lane. Hated Kal.

0000

It takes her a month to accept that Kal wasn’t going to save her. Whether he knew where she was or if he just didn’t care she didn’t know.

No. He has to care, he’s family-

So why didn’t he take care of her when she landed on earth? Why did he leave her with the Danvers? She was prepared to give up her life for him. To raise him from a baby in a primitive and suspicious environment. She was thirteen and she was ready (No she wasn’t. She was scared. Sure she was going to screw up. Sure she would get them killed), but she was willing to do everything to keep him alive and safe.

Why wasn’t he ready to do the same?

He was older then she was. Known on the planet, not as Superman, but as Clark Kent, he was safe from other people, so why?

Why is he abandoning her?

She screams and cries and yells his name, begging him to find her, but he doesn’t care.

Not as long as she doesn’t wear the cape.

That’s the only reason he sent James to her, to convince her to be a ‘hero’.

(Hero? No, she was their cleaning lady. Happy when everything is going well, but when one thing is out of place she is shouted at and put under suspicion. Like she was a criminal for just existing.)

But no, she wasn’t a hero.

She was the person they needed only for powers. She wasn’t a person to them, just a tool.

Cat saw her that way. James saw her that way. Kal saw her that way.

Lane saw her that way.

0000

He comes in every few days. Kara can’t count the days without the sun or a watch, most of it being spent on the floor, pain pulsing through her body.

Lane always had an armed guard with him, a single Agent with food, the only time she gets food, and a ‘doctor’.

They give her the food and she eats like a rabid animal, like a dog, one of the soldiers mutter once.

After that Lane asks her questions. And she answers. More often than not he’s not happy with her answers. He wouldn’t even listen to her when she says anything about time travel. He’s convinced she’s working with Astra and if she says anything to contradict that he gets… unimpressed.

They take away her food first. But that doesn’t ‘work’. They then inject her with liquid kryptonite, but that doesn’t ‘work; either. Lane gets creative after that. Knives are used to curve into her skin. Whips marks decorate her back. Her powers run out and her fingers get rotten and they have to remove them. Lane threatens not to ‘help’ her again and seven of her toes rot off.

(She screams the truth at them. Begs them to believe her, to help her. She cries and screams and more often than not her voice is hoarse and barely there.)

00000

Kara tells them everything. From Winn to Lucy and Berry that comes from another dimension. She tells them about the aliens she fought and the disaster that strikes National City. She tells them about Maxwell Lord and Red Tornado.

(Miss Grant dies the same day Alex does, having worked late. James moves back to Metropolis when she doesn’t show up. Winn is killed by the FBI when he is forced to help his father. Lucy gets framed and dishonorably discharged. Berry is taken captive and used to make ‘super soldiers’. And Kal does nothing to help.)

She can’t tell them about Myriad.

She tries, but the words stay stuck in her throat. Part of her believes they will let her go when they find out about it, but another part… Lane would just use it as proof that she was working with Astra this entire time.

Would they kill her once she is of no use, or are they using her blood for the same reason they are using Berry’s… to create the perfect soldier?

0000

The doctors are the worse. They poke and prod at her, trying to find out how she works.

One day she wakes up feeling energized and when she looks down she sees blood all over her chest, implying they cut her open. Another day she wakes up and her stomach hurts so badly. She finds out they removed her womb and her ovaries. They try to fertilize them, but figure out that humans and Kryptonians aren’t compatible.

(She laughs at them when they find out and several soldiers are let in and beat her.)

They do other things. Humiliating things. They watch her all the time. When she changes, uses the bathroom or the shower. They force her body into almost impossible shapes when they find out she’s double jointed and can move her body in almost any direction.

Sometimes they put her under the sun lamp, giving her some power only to have her use her heat vision. An almost unlimited power source they called it.

She becomes a tool to them. A puppet. A toy.

0000

Kara wakes up one day completely void of pain. She slowly turns onto her back as she laid on the cot and looked up.

No green light.

Why was the radiation turned off? Did they want to see if she would regain her powers slowly even if she wasn’t under direct sunlight or any sunlight? Did they thing that her body would just pick up on the solar energy that ‘floats’ around on the planet?

“What have they done to you?” a voice comes.

Kara turns her head when the door opens. The figure is blurry, but she recognized the black and red suit as well as the voice. He walked over to her, kneeling next to the cot. Now, much closer she could make out the ash blond hair and grey-blue eyes.

“Little girl,” he said softly.

“Non,” Kara muttered, but like last time, her voice got stuck in her throat and she was only able to move her mouth.

Non raises his hand to her face, it shaking. He then clenches the hand into a fist and turns to the door.

“Astra! I found her!” Non shouts before turning back to Kara. He gently, so gently, pushes his arms under her body and slowly picks her up. He carefully movs her head to rest over his heart. He held her bridal style before moving to hover over the ground. The unbroken genital movement was a blessing on her sore body.

There’s a sound outside the room, coming closer to them. Kara turns her head just in time to see Astra burst into the room, her hair wild. She rushes over, but Non stops her.

“Careful,” he tells her, “She badly injured.”

“What have they done to her?” Astra asked, tears in her eyes.

“When I find out, I will have the same done to them twice fold,” Non growled out.

Was she dead? Little pain, her Aunt alive and next to her. Non being nice to her again. Something that hasn’t happened since she was a little girl on Krypton.

Kara smiled, her eyes closing as she listens to the soft beating of Non’s heart and falls asleep for the first time in… forever

0000

Kara wakes up completely pain-free. She was on the softest bed and covered by the softest blankets and her head was on the softest pillow. She was surrounded by warmth and everything smelled nice.

A hand gently touches her head and fingers run through her short hair.

(They said it kept getting in their way, so they shaved her head.)

Singing. Someone was singing. She knew the song. Didn’t she?

Kara slowly opened her eyes, finding her mother next to her- No, not her mother (the woman who abandoned her. Threw her away. Sent her off to be a monster and a tool).

“Astra,” Kara said softly, her voice still scratchy, but her throat wasn’t hurting anymore.

“Hush Little One. You’re still healing. Go back to sleep,” Astra told her.

“Hhmm,” Kara said and closed her eyes again, a small smile on her face. Yes. She was still tired, and sleep! When had she last slept so… freely.

The singing started again, the fingers never stopping.

The next time Kara woke up she was alone. She was still in the soft bed, but there was no one next to her. No one singing.

She stayed lying on her stomach. She didn’t want to turn on her back, knowing the pain from the whip marks will flare up. She didn’t want to push her body up; she didn’t want to see her hands. (Only five fingers left. Which one will she bite off next just to stop the pain?) She didn’t open her eyes. Where was she? Fort Rozz? Her cell, the softness a trick? The field where she died?

Her apartment?

Her stomach growls and Kara beggs it to stop. She wasn’t going to get food anytime soon. She had just eaten before she hallucinated Non and Astra. She wouldn’t be brought food for another ‘three’ days at least. (She measures the days now by how many times she passes out. She figured she passes out at least five times a ‘day’.)

“Someone sounds hungry” a light voice fills the room.

Kara’s eyes snap open and she quickly turns and sits up. It only after that she freezes, waiting for the pain, but nothing came. She looks to the source and see’s Astra.

Was she real?

“Astra?” Kara asked as her right hand (still only her ring figure and pinkie left) stretches out to the older woman.

Astra glares at the broken hand before a soft smile comes back when she looks at Kara.

Her eyes are sad and Kara wonders just how bad her face is. She knows she got burns on them. Knows one of her ears is gone, she pulled it off herself. She can’t breathe through her nose, was it even still there? Her lips were cut and the edges have torn from all her screaming. She struggles to blink and Astra is still blurry.

Astra walks closer and Kara sees the food. The woman doesn’t even get the chance to put it in front of her before Kara snatches the tray and starts eating. She vaguely notices the fork and knife, but doesn’t bother with them. She’s too hungry to eat slowly and she knows she wouldn’t be able to pick them up with her broken hands.

(She remembers that she was voted the most beautiful person by several magazines back when she was Supergirl. She remembers the blush as her friends, all dead now, tease her about it and read the articles. Those people wouldn’t even look at her like this… this monster. Finally, she looked like what she was.)

“Slowly, Little One,” Astra said and starts running her finger through Kara’s hair again. Kara pauses and tries to slow down, but it doesn’t last long.

She finishes, but she still feels hungry. Kara doesn’t ask for more, just pushes her tray away, refusing to look at Astra.

“Look at me. Please Kara,” Astra asks her.

Kara shakes her head, “I’m a monster.”

“No! The humans that did this to you are monsters!” Astra hisses and gently puts her hand on Kara’s face. The older woman easily turns Kara’s face to her, “There is my beautiful girl.”

Kara quickly shakes her head, “No. I’m horrid. I don’t know how you can still look at me.”

“Because I love you,” Astra told her, “Nothing has- nothing will change that.”

Kara brought her palms to her eyes, only then realizing that tears were running down her face. She couldn’t even feel them.

“Thank you,” Kara said.

“What for love? For calling you beautiful?” Astra asked, brushing her hair from her forehead.

“No. For saving me,” Kara told her.

“Did you think we wouldn’t? When Non and I found out you were there we came immediately,” Astra said.

“You’re the only ones to come for me. Kal… Kal never cared,” Kara told her.

“Oh, Love,” Astra said and pulled her o her chest as Kara cried.

She cried for what she’s been through. She cried for what they did to her. For what they wanted to do. She cried for her sister and her friends. She cried for the life she lost, for her death. She cried…

For the people. Now being subjected to Myriad… and she didn’t care.

She didn’t even care that she didn’t care.

0000

She wears a hood when she leaves her room and another cloth that covers the bottom of her face. She wears gloves, the fingers that are missing stuffed. She hobbles slightly, her feet mangled beyond repair, and each step causes her untold pain.

(The earthquake hits and her cell opens. She tries to escape but is quickly recaptured. They take a hammer to her feet and smash her bones to almost splinters. She screams and doubts she will ever walk again.)

She doesn’t walk around much, the pain echoing through her legs, but she can’t stay in her room, lest it becomes another cell to her.

A few of the inmates try to intimidate her, but she’s doesn’t care anymore. She’s not ashamed to tell Astra when she brings Kara her food, much more than that first time, and the woman quickly deals with them.

She finds Non on the third day outside a strange room. He stands by a window and when she walks up to it, she finds herself staring at Lane as he’s being tortured. Next to him are soldiers and doctors, all going through the same things.

“I have used Myriad to make them tear parts of themselves off,” Non tells her, not even greeting her.

So they know. Know what she did to herself. No doubt the sadistic bustards recorded everything for their sick pleasures.

“Kill them slowly,” Kara begs him, not saying anything else.

A smirk grows on Non’s face. He wraps one arm around her shoulder and kisses her hooded head and says, his voice deep with… something she doesn’t want to think about, “With pleasure.”

Kara turns and walks away.

She never goes back.

00000

Astra beings to take her to the control center when the other inmates start to try and kill her. Kara doesn’t know what her aunt and Non did to them and she didn’t really want to know.

Kara sits on a large soft chair that was specially brought in for her and watch Astra and Non. She looks at the hologram above the circular console, lights shining on the map, some connected to others.

Astra and Non walk around it, strange things over their eyes and talking to each other like they were seeing two different things at the same time. They walk around the console, typing things and sometimes moving their hands like they were controlling someone.

One day Astra takes of the visor and sits down against the console, resting her head against the machine. She looked like she ages a hundred years from the stress. She was exhausted, not just from controlling Myriad, but having to take care of Kara.

“What is that?” Kara asked, even though she knows.

Astra opens she eyes and Kara could see she didn’t mean to sit down where Kara could see her. She stands up as Non also removed his visor. They glanced at each other before turning to Kara.

“It’s called Myriad,” Astra told her.

“That’s the thing Non used to control Lane and his men,” Kara commented, “Is that what it is? Mind control?”

“Not initially,” Astra told her, “When we first created Myriad it was only supposed to send out an idea. This idea would plant itself in the minds of those it affected and the affected would follow the idea.”

“The plan was never to completely control the actions of those affected, just… convince them to abide to the idea,” Non told her.

“What was the idea?” Kara asked them.

“’Save the planet’,” Astra told her, “It would not have dominated their lives, but it would always be in the fore front of their minds. They would think, ‘Would this action help save the planet?’ or ‘Was there something they could do to save the planet?’ and then they would work to ensure the survival of the planet.”

“Another idea would have been sent out,” Non told her, “One that encourages cooperation between the affected no matter where they came from. The Science Guild would work with the Labour Guild… House members would talk to each other without the belief that one was better than the other… everyone would work together to one goal.”

**“Thanks to Myriad, there are no more racial divisions, no Republicans, no Democrats. Only one people, working with one purpose towards one goal. To save the world.”**

Non’s words from the previous timeline echoed in her mind. Was that always the end plan? To make people work together, not caring about their backgrounds?

But Ms. Grant’s words also came to her: **“Except you haven't saved them, you've enslaved them.”**

“What changed?” Kara asked, “Why does Myriad have complete control now?”

“The humans’ are primitive,” Non told her, “Their minds are weak and could not accept the original signal.”

“So you had to increase it?” Kara asked. That’s not how it worked last time. A higher signal caused people to have horrible migraines and would cause their heads to explode.

“We had to change it,” Astra told her, “That is why it took us so long to activate Myriad… we needed to change it to fit the human’s physiology.”

“But why are you controlling them manually,” Kara asked.

“Because the humans are more different then we expected. They become completely obsessed with accomplishing the injected idea,” Non told her, “We realized that unless we completely control them, they will kill themselves.”

“Kill themselves?” Kara asked.

“They don’t eat. Don’t sleep. They don’t care for their young or pets,” Astra continued, “That and almost everything in manual on this planet.”

“You mean farming and stuff?” Kara asked.

“Yes,” Astra said.

Kara nodded, understanding. While not everything was automated on Krypton, Earth was considered primitive by industrialized standards. They needed people around for everything. And if Myriad makes them concentrate on only saving the planet… what will happen to the economy? To the people living on the planet.

And what of Krypton? Would Myriad have worked? Would it have saved the planet?

(Kara remembers the warning of unsafe areas. How they started only a few weeks after Astra ‘died’. She remembers almost falling to her death. She remembers going to school and realizing people are gone because their dead.)

(She remembers running on that last day. People dead in the streets. Building crashing all around them. She can hardly move and her mother has to pull her along, her father shouting at her to hurry up.)

“Can I say something without you getting mad?” Kara asked them.

“You think Myriad is immoral,” Astra said.

“Well yes, but its more about if you think Myriad would have worked on Krypton,” Kara said, “I mean the planet exploded only a year after my parents told me you were dead… would we have had enough time to save the planet? Or should we have concentrated more on saving our people?”

“What do you mean?” Non asked as he walked towards her.

“It would have been hard, but we could have made a new world our home,” Kara said, “We could have saved our people, our culture instead of just our planet.”

Kara looked at the two and saw the same realization on their faces… that Krypton was beyond saving… but Kryptonians weren’t.

00000

She finds out what happens to her friends. From Winn’s death to James and Lucy’s wedding. She wants to cry when she hears about that, about the baby they’re expecting. She was so close. So close to having him love her, and now…

He doesn’t even know who she is.

A part of Kara wants to use Myriad so he could love her, so he could be hers, but what does that say about her. So she leaves him be, lets him walk around her like she, and everyone else, doesn’t exist, Myriad working in him.

She finds Alex’s grave.

0000

Eliza buried Alex next to the small grave they put up for Jerimiah in the backyard. Kara flies over to the site and just sits there for several hours, just looking at the name. How much of Alex survived the crash? What were her last thoughts?  Was she sure Kara wouldn’t be found? If she saw her sister now…

Kara pretty much declares Alex’s grave a holy site. That if anyone did anything to it they will pay.

(One tries and Kara asks Non to rip him apart. He does, surprisingly, and drops the body in the middle of Fort Rozz as a warning and no one tries again.)

00000

“There’s a small resistance lead by the one called Maxwell Lord,” Non tells her when she finds Astra and Non arguing in the control room.

“Oh, him,” Kara mutters to herself.

“He’s somehow found a way to block Myriad and has slowly been ‘freeing’ the humans to join him in opposing us,” Astra says before glaring at Non, “And there is only one way he would have found out how to combat Myriad.”

“Her name is Brainiac 8. She is a Coluan that helped us create Myriad,” Non told her, ignoring the glare from Astra.

“Why would she help try to stop it if she helped create it?” Kara asked. She remembers the headaches everyone got as Myriad threatened to kill everyone.

“… She and Astra don’t get along,” Non told her after a long stretch of silence

“Ok? Why?” Kara asked.

“He had sex with her,” Astra tells he before Non could answer. Kara’s mouth fell open, not that they could see that. She never expected that!

“I told you. I was given the mission by the military council,” Non told her in a voice that said that they’ve argued about this a lot.

“Oh, so they forced you to have relations with her,” Astra asked, crossing her arms.

Non’s head drops as he leans on his hands that were on top of the console, “Actually, since you forgot, yes they did.”

This argument sounded very familiar.

“You were within your right to refuse the mission!” Astra started to yell.

“Everyone knew of her interest in me. I was the only one that could discover what she was planning!”

Yes, Kara sure she’s heard this argument before, “That’s why you left.”

The two stopped arguing and turned to her. Non frowned and asked, “What are you talking about?”

“I remember you two arguing about something on Krypton. I was hiding behind a couch. Non left and I didn’t see him for years after that,” Kara told them.

“You… you remember that?” Non asked.

Kara shrugged, “You told the best stories and the one day when I was staying over you didn’t come to tell me my bedtime story.”

Non stared at her with wide eyes before looking down again, “I did not think you would remember that. You were… very young when Astra and I stopped talking to one another.”

“Yeah,” Kara said before changing the subject, “Is there a way to overcome the ion blockers?”

Astra and Non frowned at her before looking at each other.

Why were… oh. They never told her how Max was blocking the Myriad signals. What were they thinking?

“We are not-

Pain ripped through her as her vision went completely green. A large sound echoed in her ears and she opens her mouth to scr-


	2. Timeline 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara is back at the beginning again, ready to start a new, but her experiences in the last timeline still affect her, no matter how much she tries to suppress them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: Timeline 3  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of torture + Graphic description of murder

Timeline 3

BEEP BEEP BEEP

_“Will this keep her alive while we drain her blood?”_

BEEP BEEP BEEP

_“Tell me the truth!” SLAM SLAM SLAM The stinging rips through her body from her back._

BEEP BEEP BEEP

_“The eggs wouldn’t fertilize-” Ha ha ha ha ha. “Fucking bitch! You knew!”_

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Pain ripped through her as her vision went completely green. A large sound echoed in her ears and she opens her mouth to scr-

Kara screamed as she sat up suddenly. She took deep breaths through her mouth as she looked around. Her long hair moving with her head-

Wait.

What?

Kara reached up, her hand shaking, and touched her hair- her long hair.

She looked forward and found herself back in her apartment. She raised her hands to her face and flexed all 10 fingers. She then brought her hands back to her face. She felt at her unscarred face. Her normal eyes. Her nose and ear were back. She could see properly!

She threw off her covers and looked at her feet. All her toes where there and her feet looked normal, not the mangled splinters she was used to. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and carefully placed her weight on them…

Kara choked as no pain came from her feet. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or laugh. No… She wanted to dance!

Kara grabbed her laptop and opened her music. She turned up the volume as high as she could and just started to spin in circles. She danced to the rhyme, laughing each time she pressed her feet against the floor. She spun and spun before falling, tears running down her face as she kept laughing.

She sat up, a large smile on her face before calling out, “Astra! Come look at thi-”

Kara stopped smiling when she realized that Astra wasn’t there. The woman probably didn’t even know that Kara was alive.

There was no soft bed or Non smiling after he’s spent some time with Lane and his people. There was no Astra that held her hand as she helps her take steps on her broken feet. There was no Non that make her gloves to give her back the fingers she lost. There were no hands in her hair or soft songs…

They didn’t know about her and depending what she did…

They’ll be her enemy… they’ll hate her.

Kara felt the tears run down her face, no laughter in sight. She stood up, uncaring as the water ran down her neck. Kara grabbed her phone and looked at the date. October 26, 2015

Now what?

0000

Kara smiled at her reflection as she carefully applied her make up. She hated looking at herself before. She hated seeing what Lane did to her. What those ‘doctors’ did to her. But now it never happened.

(Yes it did. She still remembers the knife slicing into her body. She remembers the sound of whips as they connected to her flesh. She still remembers the smell of herself as she soils herself. She still remembers the taste of her flesh as she bits of her finger to get rid of the pain. The hopelessness. Knowing she was going to die and no one was coming for her. She remembers wishing she was dead, begging them to just kill her.)

The brush slips from her hand as her memories play in her mind. She stares at herself and sees only the monster she became- the monster she is.

(Monster. Monster. That’s all he calls her. Some days she even forgets her name-)

Kara closes her eyes and looks away from the mirror. Bile rises up, but she quickly squishes it down again. She bends down and picks up the brush, putting it on the sink without looking at herself.

She needed to get to work. Then she had a date and then she has to save Alex from the plane crash. Then she has to become Supergirl and get taken by the DEO-

Kara quickly bends over the toilet as she threw up at the thought of even being near the DEO again.

She didn’t want anything to do with the DEO. It didn’t matter what Alex said or what they did… if they fuck with her again, they will pay.

Kara angrily wiped her mouth, glaring at the hallucination of Lane and his grunts. No one will ever do something like that to her ever again.

0000

Kara twitched as she walked through CatCo without her hood and face mask. She never left her room without it and to suddenly not wear it anymore… Kara flinched when a person looked at her face, before looking her up and down. She has to stop herself from covering her face as she held onto the coffee cups tightly.

Winn greets her like it hasn’t been months since she last saw him. And for him it hasn’t been.

“Wow, Kara, you look awesome today,” Winn said.

Kara blushed, reaching up to her smooth face (she feels a bump and think her scars are back, but it’s just her lips. And wasn’t that strange, her lips being one smooth bump).

“Thanks,” Kara said as she places everything on her table. She looks at everything and for a moment she has a small panic attack. Would she still remember how to do her job? Will she remember all the numbers she needs to know? Will she say the right things to make everything go the same way?

Would she want to?

“Kiera!” Ms. Grant's voice pierced through the floor.

Kara looked up, coffee still in hand to see Cat Grant already sitting behind her desk. Obviously, she was late, having decided to walk- walk!- to work.

Not sparing a glance at Winn Kara ran into the glass office-

Like her cell.

Kara’s heart hammered in her chest as she half-run slowed to a difficult walk. Why were her feet hurting her suddenly? Swallowing- and wasn’t that hard in itself- Kara took a deep breath through her mouth- her nose wasn’t working, did she still have it? She reached up with her free hand to touch the point of her nose- still there.

Her stomach turned and everything green caught her attention. The noise of the floor increased, dozens of people talking at once:

_“How do you spell ‘attendance’?”_

_“No, move it to there.”_

_“-some purple alien-”_

“Kiera.”

_“-I then I found her in bed with the gardener.”_

“Kiera.”

_“-cking copier.”_

“Kiera!”

Kara’s head snapped to the woman in front of her, her hand squeezing the coffee cup in her hand. She broke the disposable cup, coffee spilling all over the floor.

“What is wrong with you!” Ms. Grant asked her as she stood up from her desk, “Is the bottle blond going to your head?”

“What?” Kara asked confused.

“I feel like I’m losing IQ point just being around you right now,” Ms. Grant told her.

“I’m sorry. I’m not-”

“I don’t care,” Ms. Grant said, interrupting her, “ _You_ are supposed to be concentration on _my_ needs, nothing else. Understand.”

“I- Yes Ms. Grant,” Kara muttered, sounds still loud. She felt cold, numb, like she was walking in a dream. It was like everything was… not real.

Was it? Or was her death causing her to hallucinate? Was she still in that field, in Non’s arms as he sang to her?

“Na’vor ma shan te kaar,” Kara sang softly to herself as Ms. Grant told her to cancel lunch with her mother.

_Give heed, the Chieftess comes._

The Ballet of Chieftess Hara. The chieftess that made it her mission to conquer all tribes ran my males. She didn’t believe they were good enough to lead. In fact, Hara believed that men should do nothing by themselves and just listen to orders given to them by a woman. She believed men to be beneath her. So she decided that never shall a man lead.

She succeeded in what she sent out to do and thus started the Age of The Mother.

High Chieftess Hara ruled over Krypton when matriarchy reigned. She was the ancestor of the first Queen of Krypton. Of the Last Queen… of Kara.

“Are you listening!” Ms. Grant shouted.

“um, Meeting, Cancel Lunch, Cancel Therapist, Layouts and… Tribune letters?” Kara asked, half-remembering from the first timeline, the rest she remembered when Ms. Grant started talking.

“Yes,” Ms. Grant said condescendingly and held out a paper, “Now go!”

“Yes Ms. Grant,” Kara muttered, grabbing the paper before leaving.

Layout… James.

“Hey Kara,” Winn said as she walked off, causing her to stop.

“Yeah?” Kara asked.

“I was wondering, if you’re not busy, if you wanted to, maybe of course, catch a movie with me?” Winn asked, half not looking at her while playing with a pen.

Oh no.

She forgot about this. About Winn’s crush on her. What did she say last time-

“Oh, I’m sorry. I actually have a date tonight,” Kara said.

“Oh. A date,” Winn said and Kara could smell the pain and disappointment from him.

“Yes. It’s an internet date…I’m not- I’m not putting much hope into it. I’m not really looking for someone at the moment, but my Forster mother gets upset when I don’t date a few times,” Kara said, telling the truth.

She wasn’t interested in finding someone right now. James… James belonged with Lucy, not her. She was currently stuck in some kind of time loop and every time she someone looked at her she wanted to hide her face…

(They call her the most beautiful woman in National City. Like that’s all they saw. She’s seen people, even under Myriad, wince at her appearance after she was rescued from the DEO. She was a monster

…

She still is.)

“Oh,” Winn said and looked away completely. Did he believe her, or was he thinking she was trying to ‘let him down gently’? Did it matter? She has only ever seen Winn as a friend. Never once has she thought of Winn as more.

0000

She walked into James’s office with a sense of… anticipation? Would she take one look at this man and fall in love again? Would she look at him and see the man that married Lucy?

“Hello?” Kara called as she walked into James’s office, even though she knew where he was.

“I'll be just a minute,” she heard James’s voice. Her heart gave a sudden leap, but no butterflies appeared in her stomach. Her hands weren’t clammy and she didn’t get the urge to hide.

What did that mean?

“Ms. Grant sent me for the layouts and she doesn't like to wait,” Kara said, trying to keep her voice calm as she turned the corner and saw James on his knees, digging through a box.

“Well, she can wait a minute,” James said.

Kara smiled. She remembered how strange it was to meet someone that wasn’t afraid of Cat Grant. How much braver he was next to her.

“Have you met Miss Grant?” Kara asked, her memories supplying her lines. She was surprised how much she could actually remember. Not that she should… Kryptonians were bred for learning and remembering things. Like humans, they had difficulty remembering things from a young age, but once they get to what humans call ‘teenage’ their memory was almost… perfect.

In comparison, humans were… primitive.

“Yeah, what is she gonna do? Fire me right after hiring me? Her loss,” James said and looked around to her. This time Kara saw the look of reorganization in his eyes. Strange really. She hasn’t seen or even spoken to Kal in years…

What did her little cousin want from her?

“Hey,” James smiled and stood up, holding out his hand, “I'm the new guy.”

“Kara Danvers,” Kara said, smiling, “I’m Ms Grant’s personal assistant.”

“James Olsen,” James said as Kara took his hand and gave a firm shake. She felt her mouth twitch when she gripped a little too tight and he tried to hide the wince. Quite well too. Obviously Kal didn’t have such a great control of his powers as he wanted people to believe.

“The photographer form the Daily Planet,” Kara noted, “And CatCo’s new Art Director.”

“That’s me,” James said smiling widely as he put his hands just above his pants.

Kara stared at him, her eyes sliding to the print of her cousin flying, but she didn’t make a big deal out of it. She knew if she got it this time she would just end up burning it.

Kal didn’t care for her. Other than her being another messiah for the humans.

“The layout?” Kara asked, holding out her hand.

“Oh, right,” James said and moved to get the laminated prints before handing it to her.

“Thanks,” Kara said and walked off. She didn’t turn around, she couldn’t.

Her James… the one she knew, the one she loved… he didn’t exist anymore.

0000

Kara sat in her apartment, staring out the window. She had canceled her date, not even remember the man’s name she was supposed to go out with.

**‘-And make sure your numbers on it.’**

Those words were humiliating. That unless someone knew she was Supergirl they wouldn’t be interested in her. If she wasn’t pretty, she wasn’t worth the effort…She had no courage to go through that tonight.

Instead, she was waiting for the flight to Geneva to start experiencing engine problems. Alex on the flight, never having to come over to help with her date. She called, asking if Kara needed help, but she refused, telling her to enjoy her conference.

She wanted to see her, but knew she would tell her everything, beg her to not get on the plane if she saw her in person. So Kara took the whiskey bottle she usually kept for Alex and brought it to her lips.

It wouldn’t work, human alcohol never does. She’ll probably head over to that Alien Bar she found out from Non and Astra in the last timeline.

(There when human looking people walking around, not under the control of Myriad. Astra investigated it, surprised to find so many refugees on the Class 3 planet. All of them being forced to hide what they were. With Myriad they could walk around in their own skin she told them, the humans wouldn’t care. Couldn’t care. But they were afraid of her, of the Fort Rozz Criminals. Most joined the resistance, others went into hiding.)

Kara blinked away the memories of the deserted bar and concentrated on the skyline. Within moments she saw the plane’s engine catch fire. She knew she couldn’t act immediately. It would be too suspicious and she had no intention of going back into that kryptonite cell.

Instead, she turned on her tv to the National City news and took out a sketch pad and started creating a new ‘look’ for Supergirl. She quite likes her suit actually, even though people like Leslie Willis called it unflattering. She like the full body covering and had no intention of turning herself into a sex symbol for a bunch of teenage boys.

(She searches herself once in the original timeline. Saw the ‘fan art’ of her breast enlarged and threatening to spill out of her suit, not to mention the rest of the sexual objectifying ‘art’. She hated it, wished she could scream and rant and demand they remove such filth from the internet, but knew no one would listen to her. She was, after all, just a ‘girl’.)

But she also remembered the fight against Astra and several other enemies. She remembers how they used her cape against her. She loved her cape, but knew it wasn’t very useful for fighting, so maybe something that could easily detach?

Honestly, she just wanted to incorporate a bit more ‘Kryptonian’ in the suit.

“- This just in, shortly after take-off, National City Airlines, Flight 237 bound for Geneva started experiencing engine failure. The pilot now seems to be circling the city-”

That’s her cue.

00000

Kara had always wondered whether her powers were based on mental concentration or physical ability. Could she use her powers because she knew she had them? Or did she have abilities because of physiology? Did she have such difficulty using her powers in the first timeline because she hasn’t used them for years, or because she was so determined to be normal that she suppressed most of what she could do?

Even now as she took one leap into the air to start flying she still wondered.

Kara flew to the plane, moving to the burning engine and started to blow. It took three breaths before the fire was properly extinguished. Satisfied, Kara flew under the plane and helped it level off. It was hard, her muscles screaming at her from disuse. Once the plane was levelled, she turns it to the ocean and descends slowly. Making sure they were clear of the bridge, Kara helps the plane land safely in the water.

She took a deep breath before her body was submerged. She then swam to the wing and with difficulty heaved her body on to the structure. Her arms screamed at her and she knew she was going to have to spend a few weeks getting back into shape. Or at least get her body used to her powers again.

A light shined on her as she rested on her hands and knees. Standing up, she took one look at the plane before pushing off into the sky.

She landed in her apartment through the open window, quickly changing before grabbing a large battery operated light. She headed to the roof of the building, turning on the light and spreading her arms to the sky, closing her eyes and tilting her head back.

Kryptonian music filled her memories before she started dancing again. She spun and jumped, stretching one leg up to her ear before landing on both. She went up and down, landing on her knees as she hit the ‘floor’ with her fits in tune with the music in her head. She jumped and spun before clapping her hands at the side of her head.

She closed her eyes as she danced. Memories of festivals she attended as a child flashing behind her eyes. She vaguely remembered her first one when she was 4. Her grandmother had taken her, dressed her in the traditional clothes of her people. She remembers the clinking of jewelry as she spun around. She remembers the priestesses of the Religious Guild singing as they presented her to Rao.

Now… now she dances in thanks. Thanks that she was able to save her sister this time. Thanks that she could…

Could what?

Do everything over? Just the same as the first? Could she?

“Kara?” Alex's voice came from behind her.

Kara winded down her dance, ending up on her knees, her body bent forward as her head touched the ‘floor’ and arms outstretched, her left hand on top of her right hand and facing the light.

She breathed deeply as she sat up, opening her eyes and looking over her shoulder at Alex.

“Hey,” Kara said, breathing deeply. Alex walked over to her, stopping to stand next to her as they faced the light and the stars in the distance.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked.

“Dancing for- I’m probably not even doing it right,” Kara said, chuckling slightly.

(How much of her culture has she forgotten? How much of her religion slips from her mind daily? Could she even call herself Kryptonian? or was she playing pretend like Ka- like Clark.)

“I’ve never seen you do that,” Alex said.

“I tied once, just after I started living with you… your parents made me stop,” Kara said, “They said it was too dangerous. That if someone started wondering what I was doing it could expose me…”

“Like what you did when you stopped the plane from crashing,” Alex said, her voice… hard? No, fearful. She was afraid. Afraid the DEO will get her?

“I’m not going to apologize for saving your life,” Kara said before standing up.

“They saw you, Kara. They know about you now,” Alex said.

Last time Kara thought she was talking about the everyday humans. But this time… was it the aliens, her mother’s victims, that Alex meant? Or was it the DEO and other organizations like Cadmus?

“You’re scared for me, I know. But Alex… What if this was what I was meant to do?” Kara asked, wondering that herself. Was she meant to be a hero to the humans? Was that the purpose her parents intended for her after Kal was grown?

Why did they send them to this planet? Why this one and not one that knew about Krypton? A Class 5 planet, one that knew about Aliens? Or maybe even one of the kryptonian colonies.

Why this… primitive world?

“You put yourself in danger! You know- you know how many enemies Clark has, what if they find out your relation to him, and then come after you?” Alex said.

“They’re going to find out eventually. We can’t hide it forever… I might as well be ready to defend myself,” Kara said.

“No, Kara! You are not going to do this!” Alex told her, gripping Kara’s arm in what Kara assumed was tight hold.

Kara looked her sister straight in the eyes, “You are not the boss of me Alex. I am sorry that you believe that you have to spend every moment protecting me, but that’s not the case… not anymore.”

Kara griped Alex’s wrist and gently but firmly, pulled her hand off Kara’s arm. She stepped back, away from Alex.

“Don’t do this. Please,” Alex said.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said before taking her light and heading back to her apartment.

No one was going to control her anymore.

0000

Winn was as excited over her being the ‘girl from the plane’ as he was the first time. And like last time he offered to make her a suit. She gave him the idea she had, the idea that was originally his. He complained about the cape, but after she said she wasn’t going to use it for fighting, he relented.

While he was sewing, Kara took the electronic scraps she got from a junkyard and some arts and carts and started on a few ‘jewelry’ pieces.

“What are those?” Winn asked as he cut the fabric.

“Cultural pieces… the sad thing is I can’t even remember what they mean,” Kara said as she worked on an ear cuff that had red spikes coming from the curved part, almost like a sun.

“Why are you making them then?” Winn asked.

“I’m putting solid holographic projectors in them,” Kara said as she inserted mechanisms in the spicks. The second cuff would tie in with the first and put a hologram over her face.

“Wait so it’s like a hologram but solid?” Winn asked.

“Not exactly,” Kara said, “It’s more like it’s a hologram that is ‘attached’ to something. In this case, it’s my hair and eyes. My plan is to dye my hair back to brown, but when I’m Supergirl my hair would be completely blond and my eyes will be a bright _gegar_ \- no sorry, sapphire blue.”

“Supergirl?” Winn asked, snorting slightly.

“Why, what’s wrong with the name?” Kara asked as she looked up.

“Nothing- Nothing,” Winn said and continued to work on the suit.

They worked in silence a few hours before Kara handed him some ‘rings’ he could attach to thumb part of her suit.

“What are these for?” Winn asked.

“These and the ones on my boots are interconnected to make me look just a bit taller,” Kara said as she started placing a row of ‘studs’ along the top edge of her boots.

“Taller?” Winn asked.

“Yeah, just to be a bit more intimidating. Humans seem to listen to others better when they’re taller than them,” Kara said.

“Humans,” Winn muttered. Kara looked up, but Winn wasn’t looking at her, a small frown on his lips.

“I didn’t mean it to be mean,” Kara said, waiting for Winn to glance over at her, “I’m just saying kryptonians aren’t bothered with the whole height thing. We don’t associate height with power.”

“So if we were on Krypton, you wouldn’t do that?” Winn asked.

“If we were on Krypton I would even be doing this. I would’ve been forced into being a scientist… a mechanical engineer specifically,” Kara said.

“So that’s how you know how to build that,” Winn said.

“Kind of. It’s a project we were given in kryptonian education when we’re around… 10 I think. Every ‘teenager’ could build a solid holographic projector, it’s how we ‘kept up’ with fashions,” Kara told him, remembering the one time she walked around with something similar to ‘cat-ears’ along with everyone in her age group.

“Oh,” Winn muttered before clearing his throat, “So you would have been forced into being a scientist?”

“The House of El was known as the House of Science. I could have done something else, but… as the heir to the Ladyship of the House it wouldn’t have looked very good,” Kara said.

“Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait. Did you say ‘heir’? As in princess kind of thing?” Winn asked her.

“Something like that, but not really. It’s an old title that most people didn’t really use. What it basically meant is that I could have taken over my father’s seat on the High Council,” Kara told him.

“It wasn’t a sure thing?” Winn asked.

“No. I had first pick since my father could teach me personally what to expect, not that he ever really did, to tell the truth, but if the other Councillors felt I wasn’t doing a good job I would have been replaced by another El, who would take over the El Seat and thus the main branch,” Kara told him.

“Wow, so you would have been super important on Krypton,” Winn said.

“… yeah,” Kara muttered and turned away from her friend.

She didn’t like remembering what could have been. Didn’t like remembering that she survived when so many others didn’t. What made her so important? That she had the right to live where others died?

What made her so special?

0000

Kara speeds out in the night, her blond hair pulled back slightly so they wouldn’t get tangled around her ear cuffs. She breathed deeply, her heart hammering in her chest as she moved to the building that was on fire.

She knows what’s going to happen. The DEO was going to shoot at her… with Kryptonite dart things. They were going to try and scare her. She could let them do it, wake up in the room and strapped in via kryptonite cuffs or

BANG

Kara heard the gunshot and easily speed out of the way.

BANG

The second shot rang out in her ears and she disappears-

(Alex forces her to train her speed. Tells her she need to be able to switch between Kara Danvers and Supergirl in lest then a second. It takes her s few weeks, but she final get enough control of her speed to do it.)

-Reappearing in front of the masked DEO agents.

(She wasn’t going back there. She wouldn’t step one more foot in that building. Not after what they did. She still remembers digging the bullets out of her body, J’onn not even having the decency to help her after capturing her.)

One of the agents points a gun at her and she rips it out if his or her hands. She breaks it before doing the same to all of the other guns. She reappears in front of the ‘leader’ and grabs them by the neck, lifting them into the air.

“Ka-ra. S-stop!” Alex’s voice, choking as Kara cuts off the air.

Kara’s eyes widen before dropping her to the ground. She took a step back as she stares at her sister in… horror? Fear? Anger?

She never knew Alex was with the team that took her down. She always assumed that the older female only found out about her ‘abduction’ when she arrived at the DEO.

She sees one of the agents pull out a Kryptonite knife next to her and she immediately brakes their arm, the knife dropping to the floor.

“Don’t,” Kara said firmly.  

“Stand. Down,” Alex said, still gasping for breath.

“What are you doing Alex,” Kara asked as calmly as she could. But she still spoke through clenched teeth, her nails digging into her palm as blood dripped onto the road.

“Let me explain,” Alex started.

“You just tried to shoot me with Kryptonite!” Kara yelled, taking a step forward. She saw all the agents take several steps back, all except Alex, whom just took off her helmet.

“I was ordered to bring you in,” Alex said, having regained her breath.

“Ordered by whom? Take me where!” Kara asked even though she knew the answers.

“I was ordered by my commanding officer, Director Hank Henshaw,” Alex said, “And I was to take you to the DEO, Department of Extranormal Operations.”

“So instead of asking me, you shoot at me. What the _hell,_ Alex!” Kara asked.

“I wasn’t trying to hurt you. The kryptonite is low grade-”

“I don’t care what kind of grade it is! Do you know what that does to me!” Kara yelled as she picked up the knife.

“I know it weakens you,” Alex said.

“Weakens me,” Kara said with a humorless laugh before walking up to her sister, getting right into her face, “Kryptonite doesn’t weaken me Alex. It kills me. It destroyed my cells one by one, just like cancer, but faster.”

“Kara-”

“Shhh,” Kara said her hand gripping tightly the handle of the knife, “My body burns and my nerves inflame. Even breathing becomes difficult. Stay too long around it, touch it for too long and it starts to rot me.”

“I was told-”

“Don’t always believe what you're told,” Kara said before slamming the knife into one of the black SUVs, burying it to the hilt, “Now. Let’s go talk to your ‘commanding officer’.”

Alex swallowed and looked like she too was going to step backward.

0000

Kara sat on one of the SUVs outside the DEO building entrance. One foot swinging freely as her other leg was pulled up, her arms resting on the knee. She wasn’t lying when she said she will never step a foot in there under her own will.

She didn’t have to wait long before J’onn came out, followed by Alex, who was now wearing the basic DEO uniform. She looked at the Martian disguised as a xenophobic man. She knew he had reasons for his actions in the previous loop, but…

She still felt betrayed.

She started to see J’onn as a father figure back in the first timeline, her own father being a distant man, but now… could she ever trust him again?

“Miss Danvers,” J’onn said as she stopped in front of her.

“Director Henshaw,” Kara said and jumped off the SUV. She didn’t walk closer.

“I was told you have no intention of coming inside,” J’onn said, also not moving from his spot.

“Free willingly enter a building filled with Kryptonite weapons? You must think me suicidal,” Kara said, internally letting out a humorless laugh at the irony.

(She grasped the scissors and held out her arm, she puts as much force into the swing, trying to dig it into her flesh, but the metal just bent. Kara wants to scream in frustration but knew she would only attract the attention of the humans below her. This human family Kal-El left her with. The one that forces her to be like them. She doesn’t want to be here anymore! She has no mission- no family- not anymore. She wanted her mother, her father, Astra. She wanted to be with them again!)

“You don’t trust us,” J’onn said.

“I don’t know you,” Kara said, “I don’t know the DEO’s intentions. To me or any other alien… Why would I trust you?”

“The DEO monitors and protects Earth from extra-terrestrial presence and/or invasion,” J’onn said.

Was that the line he was always going to feed her? Or was that the official description?

“And does that mean me?” Kara asked an amused smile on her face.

“You’re the reason we do what we do,” J’onn told her

“Me?” Kara asked, fake confusion coloring her words, “But Kal-El has been on earth two dozen years before me.”

“While it was his arrival that triggered the need for this organization, the realization that we weren’t alone in the universe,” J’onn said and held out his hand for Alex. She placed a pad in his hands and he turned it so she could see the screen and the image of Fort Rozz, “But you brought Fort Rozz with you when you escaped the Phantom Zone.”

“Krypton’s maximum security prison,” Kara muttered.

“You’ve heard of it?” J’onn asked and his stand became more dangerous, like he was getting ready to attack her.

So even here he thinks she’s on the inmates’ side. Did he suspect Astra and Non’s involvement? Did he believe that she would choice Astra over Alex?... Would she?

But no. The DEO didn’t even know about Astra and Non now, it was only after they encounter Astra in a few days that they get the information from Kal-El.

“My mother spoke about it sometimes. Not to me, but I… eavesdropped,” Kara said.

Not a lie. The first time Kara heard the name Fort Rozz was after Astra was ‘killed in action’. She remembered sitting close to her mother’s room, listening to her cry and pray to Rao. She had been found by her father and punished for invading her mother’s privacy.

“It was banished to the Phantom Zone and when your ship got unstuck, you dragged Fort Rozz with you,” J’onn told her.

“Are you- Are you blaming me for that?” Kara asked, “You do know I was in stasis at the time right? I didn’t even know I was in the Phantom Zone till Kal-El told me.”

“Regardless,” J’onn said, “Because of you these alien convicts, the worst criminals in the galaxy escaped and spread all over the earth.”

“I still can’t believe you're blaming this on me,” Kara said, “It’s not like I did it on purpose, or even know how it happened.”

“But it’s still your fault.”

“And what? You want my help capturing them?” Kara asked.

“Hardly,” J’onn said and gave Alex back the pad, “You, Miss Danvers, are a liability to the mission of this organization.”

Kara huffed, disappearing and reappearing right in J’onn’s face, “And what are you going to do to stop me? Capture me and put me in your Alien Zoo?” Kara looked him in the eyes and could see her control of her speed was alarming to him, “I don’t think so.”

“And why do you think that?” J’onn said, trying to get the upper hand again.

“Because I think my cousin knows about this place and if I suddenly disappear… do you honestly think he wouldn’t come for me?” Kara bluffed.

She had no faith in the ‘Man of Steel’, but Astra… Kara knew she and Non would come for her.

J’onn swallowed and Kara stepped back.

“I have no problem staying out of your business Director. In fact, I’ll even promise not to interfere unless these criminals directly involve me,” Kara told him.

“And what do you want,” J’onn asked.

“Stay away from me,” Kara said and her eyes turned to Alex behind him, “All of you.”

“Kara-” Alex started but Kara pushed off and flew off.

0000

_“Hold her still,” a voice said. She felt like she knew the voice, but she could be wrong._

_Never less, she struggled as they held her down on her stomach. She was naked and for a moment she thought they were going to rape her._

_But no._

_Kara screamed as a think hot liquid-like substance was poured onto her back along her spine. The substance burned and sent shocks through her body. Her muscle seized up and she struggled to breathe…_

_Kryptonite. They were pouring molten kryptonite on her back._

_“Stop!” Kara wanted to scream, but one of them was covering her mouth and nose._

_Please stop! Please! She never did anything to them! Please! Just let her go! Please! Mamma! Mamma!_

0000

BANG BANG BANG

Kara shot up, her eyes ready to shoot her ‘heat vision’.

BANG BANG BANG

Someone was pounding on the door. Kara dropped her head in the hands, breathing deeply for a few minutes.

“Hey! Kid! You in here?” a voice came through the door. She vaguely recognized it. Kara was sure he was one of her neighbors.

Grabbing her glasses, she put them on as she walked to the door. Making sure the latch was on, she unlocked the door and peered through the small opening.

It was her neighbor from across the hall. He was an older man, around 50-60 years old. Kara knew he lived alone and since she moved in have always asked if she was doing well. He was kind to her and just a genially nice man.

“Hi Jack,” Kara said, her voice gruff.

“Hey, Kid. I heard you screaming through the door,” Jack told her, “You ok?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Kara told him, “I’ve been having nightmares lately.”

“Yeah,” Jack said, sounding like he didn’t completely believe her.

“Sorry for waking you,” Kara said.

“It’s fine Kid. You sure you’re ok?” he asked her.

“Yeah Jack,” Kara said.

He stared at her for a few more minutes before nodding, “Ok. Good night kid.”

“Night Captain,” Kara said and he laughed. She only called him that because she regularly heard the Pirates of the Carabine movies being played at his apartment.

Kara closed the door and headed to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face before glaring at her reflection. She knew she shouldn’t have gone near the DEO, but…

Kara was used to nightmares. She probably spent around 3 weeks with Non and Astra before she died. And every night she had nightmares. And every night she would wake to Astra’s fingers in her hair and sing to her softly.

“Na’vor ma shan te kaar,” Kara sang softly. She wondered if she could get some music from the fortress. Did Jor-El include music in all that information he sent to earth?

(Kara always wondered about the Fortress. Why did Jor-El make that for Kal-El, but her own father gave her nothing? She honestly can’t remember anything except her father reminding her to always care for Kal. That nothing else was important… The only thing she had of Krypton was the necklace her mother gave her. Why? Why did Kal get all that and she… nothing?)

Sighing, Kara changed into her Supergirl outfit and flew out the window. She flew around the city several times. First, she flew high in the air, towering over all the buildings. Then she flew lower, zipping between the buildings as listened for anything happening. Lastly, she flew street level, sometimes going up to avoid cars as she followed the streets, stopping to go through one of the alleyways. She hesitated once when she was near the alien bar, but knew that she would be fighting later today and as much as she wanted to get drunk, to forget everything, she couldn’t…

Would it matter? Doesn’t the DEO arrive while she’s getting her ass handed to her? Should she just leave it be and let the DEO handle it? How did they even find them? Did they put a tracker on her suit? Or did they pick up the same message she got?

“Help!” a female voice cut through her thoughts. She sped off, stopping in between of a young woman and an older man.

“Can I help you?” Kara asked the man.

“What? No. That thing behind you isn’t human,” the man yelled.

Kara looked back and saw the green eyes and orange skin of a Tamaranean. Kara didn’t know why one of these Warriors were on Earth, but the young woman looked at her with fear.

Kara turned back to the man, “Did she do something to you?”

“What? No. But she’s some kind of monster!” he shouted.

Kara smirked, eyes blazing red as she clenched her fists. She floated to the man, making herself tower over him and looked him in the eyes, her heat vision increasing, “Is that what we are to you?”

The man backed away and swallowed, “I didn’t mean you-”

“Why not? Is it because I’m blond?” Kara asked, “Don’t forget I’m an alien too. Now… run away.”

The man ran and Kara landed on the ground, pulling the energy from her eyes. She turned back to the young woman- no, young girl as she tried to pull the hood of her hoody over her face. Kara walked over to her and held out her hand.

“Hey? Are you ok?” Kara asked gently.

The girl froze before looking at Kara. She stared at Kara for several moments. Long enough that Kara wondered if she understood her.

Kara cursed in her head. She didn’t know Tamaranean, but perhaps the girl knew Common, the language created by the Planetary Alliance to foster better relations. She had learned it in school as any planet with a Class 5 or higher classification would.

“ **Are you hurt**?” Kara asked her again.

“No,” the girl answered in English.

“Are you alone? Or are your parents around?” Kara asked, switching back to English.

“I snuck out,” the girl said, “I was going with my friends to… um-”

“The bar?” Kara asked, slightly amused. It seemed even ‘normal’ aliens had acts of rebellion.

“Yes,” she said, and looked away, her cheeks getting steadily darker.

“Where’s your transmat?” Kara asked.

“It slipped off and I’ve been trying to get home,” the girl said.

“Would you like me to walk you home or do you need me to call your parents?” Kara asked.

“Can you take me home please?” the girl begged, obviously scared.

Kara nodded and helped the girl up. After she told her where she lived, Kara picked her up and flew off with her.

She landed outside the house and knocked. A man and woman opened the door, relief on their faces when they saw the teenager. Her mother grabbed her and rested her head against her daughter’s while the man turned to her.

“You’re the kryptonian,” he said.

“Yes sir,” Kara said calmly, “Kara, from the House of El.”

“Thank you for finding my daughter. It hasn’t been easy for her on the planet,” the man said.

Kara tilted her head slightly and she looked at the man. He wasn’t standing like he was going to attack her. And while she didn’t really know any tamaranean fighting styles, the man was way too… relaxed?

“You’re not a warrior,” Kara stated and the man tensed.

“No. My wife and I rejected that lifestyle. We left Tamaran when Varra was a child,” the man told her and Kara nodded and smiled sadly.

“It’s not easy living in a world made of cardboard,” Kara said and she saw the man relax again.

“No. No, it isn’t,” the man said.

“She said she lost her transmat,” Kara told him.

“You know of them?” the man asked.

“I know they’re similar to a solid holographic projector, use to make other-worlders look more planet born,” Kara told him. It was one of those things she learned from Astra and Non, Non offering to make her one since he knew she hated her appearance.

“Yes,” the man said.

“I should get going,” Kara said and pushed off gently from the ground so she was only hovering in the air.

“Thank you again Kara-El,” the man said and closed the door.

Kara flew off, thinking of the name he used for her. Kara-El…yes, that sounded right.

0000

Ms. Grant calls her Supergirl again and this time Kara doesn’t charge into the office demanding why. She had 7 months to get used to it in the first timeline and even though she still felt like it ‘kiddy-fied’ her, it wasn’t that bad.

The alien contacts her again and she hesitates before going after him. What if the DEO tracked her? What if they don’t get there in time and he starts killing people?

No, she wasn’t going stay out of this fight.

0000

She lands at the power plant, not even bothering to activate her x-ray vision. Instead, she kept her ear on his heartbeat-

Behind her!

Kara spun around and made an x with her arms to stop his attack. She ended up only sliding back and was able to quickly recover. She punched him and he flew back. Not as much as she wished he had, but enough for her to get the advantage.

She tackled him and punched him. She punched harder and harder, pausing only when she heard a crack. She stopped, giving him the chance to get her off him.

She is propelled back and the male got up, blood running down his face, his nose broken.

“You don’t look like Alura,” the man said.

Kara got up, getting back in a fighting stance and the man laughed at her, “How do you know my mother?”

“You don’t easily forget the name of the woman condemned you to prison,” he told her.

For a moment Kara wondered what he did to deserve Fort Rozz. Was he a murderer? Or did he do something like the Professor did? Did he escape before finishing his sentence, or did he spend years in Fort Rozz that he didn’t need to?

“What does that have to do with me?” Kara asked.

“Can’t kill her. So killing you will have to do,” he said and charged at her.

Kara disappeared and reappeared behind him, kicking him in the back. He flew forward and landing on his stomach. He turned and screamed as he ran towards her again.

Kara held her ground and waited for the last moment before hitting him. Unfortunately, he ducked out of the way and punched her into a building.

Kara struggled to get up, her head pounding. She looked up and found her vision blurred slightly. The man reached her and kicked her in the head, causing her the crash through several structures.

When Kara opened her eyes she found her vision dominated by green light-

Kryptonite!

Kara’s heart pounded and she scrambled out of the way, only for her back to hit a solid wall. She couldn’t see, but she knew where she was…

She was back in her cell. The DEO got her again and locked her up. A door opened and footsteps walked towards her. She scrambles back, as her breath shortened.

“Please,” Kara begged, “Please don’t hurt me.”

Someone laughed at her. It was a man’s voice, no doubt Lane’s. Kara felt tears run down her face as Lane entered her cell and grabbed her by the neck.

“Pathetic,” Lane gloated and Kara struggled out of his grasp.

Her limbs were heavy and her vision kept blanking. She gritted her teeth as her air was cut off.

No! She refuses to die like this! Didn’t she say no one was going to do this to her again?

Kara growled and kicked Lane as hard as she could. He let go of her neck and stubble back. She screamed and tackled him. Using alternating hands, she started punching him in the face. And with every hit, it was like her strength was coming back. Like the radiation had no effect on her.

Kara screamed and cried as she hit him, blood splatting on her face. She hit him.

And hit him.

And hit him.

And Hit Him.

And. Hit. Him.

“AAAAAAAAA,” Kara screamed as her fist suddenly hit the concrete beneath his head.

She stopped, breathing deeply as she tried to slow her heart. Lane wasn’t moving and the green light was gone.

Wait… how did Lane get her again? J’onn was still in charge of the DEO and… and she- she was in another timeline.

Taking her cape, Kara rubbed her face a few times before looking at the figure below her.

It was the alien. The one she had been fighting at the plant… now with his head crushed in.

Kara looked at her fists and gagged. Brain, blood, and bones covered her hands. She scrambled back turning around as she felt the bile finally arrived in her mouth. She threw up several times before her stomach calmed.

Kara desperately tried to wipe her hands clean, but even though the larger pieces fell to the ground, her hands were still covered in blood and brain mush.

“There’s something this way!” a voice said, the sound carrying through the building.

Kara felt her body grow cold, her heart beating frantically. Hide! She needed to hide!

Kara scrambles up and looked around, but there was nowhere to hide. She could hear the people come closer and she knew she needed to leave.

But what could she do without her powe- No. She still had her powers.

Kara pushed off as hard as she could and felt her back crash through the roof. She activated her flight and flew off, not looking behind her. She flew and flew and flew, not caring where she was going.

She just needed to get away.

0000

When Kara finally stopped flying she didn’t know where she was. She doubted she was still in National city or even anywhere near it.

She landed and immediately felt her legs give out from under her. Kara fell to her hands and knees, breathing deeply. She kept her eyes closed, refusing to look at her hands.

Finally catching her breath, she looked up and around. It was dark and there were no buildings around her. She tied to stand up but her legs refused. Still breathing deeply, she fell to her side before rolling onto her back without thinking.

She winces prematurely, expecting pain from wounds that no longer existed. Realizing she wasn’t in pain, Kara just looked up at the sky. Without any lights, the stars were bright, giving off natural light.

“Na’vor ma shan te kaar,” Kara sang softly.

_Give heed, the Chieftess comes._

_She comes to destroy all that we know_

_We will serve her_

_And nothing can stop her_

_She is power_

_She is command_

_She will be our mistress_

_Give heed, the Chieftess comes._

_And she will never relent._

_She will always succeed._

_Give heed, the Chieftess comes._

_Give heed, the Chieftess comes._


	3. Timeline 3 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara wakes up in Fort Rozz and is given the choice to Join Astra. But her past still looms over her and she quickly finds out this isn't Soft beds and Soft Hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: TimeLine 3 Part 2  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of torture  
> Not* “Normal” –Kryptonese, “Italics” – English

Timeline 3

Kara woke to find herself in a cell. It was a plain cell, no green light in sight- almost no light at all. She was lying in a curved cot, something of a cross between a pod and a casket. She sat up and touched the sides, the curve retracted and the cot became like a straight bed.

Kara swung her legs over the side and surprised to find herself in a black suit. She looked at it, her heart freezing when she finds it was the same suit Astra made for her- The one Non brought when he found out she let a Fort Rozz criminal go when she was under the influence of red kryptonite-

(He stands there, just watching her as she enters her apartment. She’s tempted to just attack him, maybe even kill him. After everything he’s done to her, it would be within her right. She gets ready to attack when he purposes an alliance-

‘You could be a Queen. They will worship you’-)

“ _Hello Little one_ ,” Astra’s voice came, snapping Kara from her memories.

Kara turned to the source and found Astra standing behind a glass wall.

Again with the glass! Kara clenched her fists and took several deep breaths. When that didn’t work she put her head between her knees and her hands over the back of her head.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

It surprised her really, that Astra didn’t continue to talk to her. Whether she expected Astra to be caring or to mock her Kara wasn’t sure.

She lowered her hands and found them clean. Slowly she rubbed each individual finger (1,2,3,4,5…1,2,3,4,5) before touching her face (Nose, two whole lips, two ears, smooth skin). Once she was done she looked up and back at Astra.

Who hasn’t moved from her spot.

Kara turned away, looking ahead to the opposite wall, “ _I thought you were dead_.”

“ _Is that what you were told_?” Astra asked her and Kara nodded.

“ _My mother came home one day in tears. She sat me down and told me that you were sent on a mission and that you were killed in action_ ,” Kara told her.

“ _The humans didn’t tell you about me_?” Astra asked her.

Ah, so Astra though she was working with the DEO.

“ _If they did know about you they didn’t tell me_ ,” Kara said.

“ _They are not very forthcoming with their information then_ ,” Astra told her.

Kara’s lips twitched into a humorless smile, “ _No… especially with people that don’t work with them_.”

She shocked Astra. Kara could see the woman’s eyebrows pull together as she tilted her head down slightly.

“ _You do not work for the DEO_?” Astra asked her.

“ _No… I wouldn’t even go into their building while they have Kryptonite… and even then I doubt… I doubt I could ever work with them_ ,” Kara told her.

“ _Kryptonite_?” Astra asked.

“ _Radioactive minerals from Krypton. Basic bedrock probably… I never really asked_ ,” Kara said.

“ _What does it do_?” Astra asked her.

“ _It kills us… slowly and painfully_ ,” Kara told her.

Astra stayed quiet, watching her. Kara turned to the woman and saw her eyes were on Kara’s fingers. Kara looked at her hands, surprised to find she was again rubbing each finger individually.

“ _You have experienced it_ ,” Astra stated.

“ _Yeah… I’m lucky to have all my fingers_ ,” Kara said, _“…- it rots away your flesh and burns your body. You can’t move, can’t breathe. Your nerves twitch and- and all you feel is pain_.”

“ _The humans did that to you_?” Astra asked.

“ _Yeah_ ,” Kara said, and stood up, walking to the glass wall. She looked Astra right in the eyes.

“ _How did you find me_?” Kara asked her.

“W _e found you near our base of operations,” Astra told her, “We went out for training and found you passed out_.”

Ah. So she flew right towards Fort Rozz without even thinking.

“ _Why were you there_?” Astra asked her.

“ _I didn’t know where I was... I killed someone_ ,” Kara said and a numbness overcame her. Her body was cold, like she couldn’t generate heat. She became aware of every breath as she looked away from Astra.

(Her eyes catch movement from the darkness behind Astra. Was there someone there?)

“ _Vartox,_ ” Astra said,

“ _Who_?” Kara asked, honestly confused.

“ _The offworlder you were fighting. His name was Vartox_ ,” Astra told her.

“ _Oh_ ,” Kara said and wanted to scream. She didn’t want to know about him. She didn’t want to know the name of the man she killed.

“ _Why did you fight him_?” Astra asked her.

“ _Because he called me out_ ,” Kara said slowly (Wishing, praying, begging, that she never went after him), “ _He said he was going to kill people if I didn’t face him_.”

“ _But why did you go_?” Astra asked again.

“ _What do you mean_?” Kara asked.

“ _Why would you wish to save the very people who tortured you_?” Astra asked.

Kara looked at her, not understanding, “ _Why would I condemn an entire race because of the actions of a few_?”

“ _Because they would turn against you_ ,” Astra said.

Kara couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her. How ironic she would say that when Kara was wearing this suit. Smiling sadly Kara looked back at the older woman, “ _I know_.”

“ _Then why_?” Astra asked.

Funny. Kara asked herself that same question after she tried so hard to win their trust back.

“ _Because each of them has a life. Each of them has a fear and a joy. Each of them has something that makes them smile and laugh till there are tears running down their face in happiness. Each has a fear, something that keeps them up at night… that makes their hearts pound and cause them to beg and pray even when they don’t believe. Because they have someone they wish the best for and they have a dream to strive for. … Ms. Grant once said millennials expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter, but we don’t… We look around and see the pain and say ‘We can be better.’…We look at the world and say ‘no! I wouldn’t except the bad. I’ll make it better. I’ll make the world better’_ ,” Kara told her.

“ _You choose the humans over your family_?” Astra asked.

“ _You were dead. Non was insane. My parents were gone and Kal didn’t even care… not really. Humans… my sister and the family that took me in… they were all I had left. Earth- Earth is the only home I have left_ ,” Kara tells her.

“ _I see_ ,” Astra said and turned away.

“ _Why were you sent to Fort Rozz_?” Kara asked, wondering if Astra would tell her the truth.

Astra hesitated before answering, “ _I tried to save our planet_.”

“ _Our planet? Or our People_?” Kara asked.

(‘ **Your aunt wanted to save this planet. The humans' extinction will do just that**.’ Non’s words echo in her mind. At what point did they forget… forget that it wasn’t a planet or a place that was your home… but the people? When did they lose track of what was really important… Or did they ever know what was?)

Astra didn’t answer her question. Not the one spoken out loud, nor the ones she wanted to scream and beg an answer for. No, she just walked into the darkness. A door slid open and bright light entered the room. Kara saw the shape of the person in the darkness and easily recognized him

“Non,” Kara muttered as the door slid closed.

00000

It didn’t take Kara long to realize she burned out her powers. Not surprisingly. It took a lot of effort and power to do the whole disappearing act and she doesn’t know how much powers she used when she attacked Lane/Vartox or when she flew off.

Was Alex looking for her? Kal? Winn and James?

No, not James. He doesn’t even know she knows that he knows she’s Supergirl.

Not Kal… he doesn’t care. He never cares.

Winn wouldn’t know who to turn.

Alex would look for her.

She would never find her.

Kara sighed, opening her eyes when she heard the door slide open. She watches as a man she didn’t know opened an area in the glass and placed a tray on the floor before closing the door.

“ _Hello,_ ” Kara said.

He glanced at her before turning and walking away. The other door opened and he left.

“ _Rude_ ,” Kara muttered.

It was only then that she realized that she’s been speaking English the entire time. She snorted at her stupidity. How many times did she wish for someone to speak her native language while she grew up on this planet?

It never even occurred to her in the first Timeline. Astra and Non spoke to her in English. They spoke English in the last timeline as well. Even here Astra got her attention with English words.

Did they think she’s forgotten Kryptonses?

Has she?

“Na’vor ma shan te kaar,” Kara sang softly to herself, a small smile growing as she got up and walked towards the tray.

She picked it up and walked back to the wall she was sitting against. Once seated she looked at the food: Hydrated Bread. Fried Co-To-Co eggs mixed with Galla meat. And Fig’e juice.

Kara placed the tray on the floor before taking the glass of juice. She placed the bottom of the glass on right palm and griped around it with her left. She raised it slightly into the air before bringing it to her mouth and drinking it clean. She then took the Hydrated bread and tore small pieces off and eating one for one till it was all done. She then brought the place of ‘eggs and bacon’ to her and took the flat spatula/spoon and ate the rest of her food.

Kara ate slowly, savoring each piece of food. She wasn’t sure where or how they got these foods, none of it was native to earth, but she didn’t care. She missed all of it, even the hydrated bread, which was the equivalent to bland mashed potatoes.

Once done, Kara returned the tray to the door and went back to her spot.

She watched the door for a few movements but no one came to get the tray. She was sure they were watching her; they didn’t know her motives after all. Kara laid her head back and sang a new song.

This one was of the Warlord Gor. It was made after Krypton had a queen for some time already. Back then only men were in the military. But it wasn’t an honorable job. It was like being a trash man here on earth. It was necessary and expected, there was no glory in it.

Gor was a new recruit and was sent out with a regime to find some kryptonians that have disappeared. It was suspected they created their own society, as they didn’t want to be ruled by their Queen. When they found the rogue kryptonians the regime were killed. All except Gor.

They left him alive so he could return to the Queen and tell her what they did. They knew that Gor would be killed for not dying with the rest of his regime.

But what they didn’t know was that a new Queen sat on the throne and instead of killing Gor she gave him an Army and said.

“Conquer these savages in my name and I will set you upon my council.”

So Gor went back and did as his queen commanded. He took the head of their leader and presented it to his queen. In return, the Queen kept her word and placed him on her counsel as her first Warlord, the first military leader of Krypton.

“Hear him crrryyyy! His looooooyalty and lifffee. He gave it allllllll to his Queen and lived by her word. Hear him cryyy! The Warlord of the Queennnn,” Kara sang softly.

“ _You loved that song_ ,” Non said.

Kara opened her eyes- hissing immediately at the bright light. It was like they turned on all the lights in the room suddenly. After blinking a few times so she could get used to the brightness Kara looked through the glass wall.

Non stood on the other side, Looking similar to how he did when she saw him at Lord Industries the first time. Like he was ready to kill her if she interfered with his plans.

Ppff! It took Non months to kill her and even then he held her in his arms as she died.

“ _Did you know I was here_ ,” Non asked her.

“No,” Kara said softly in kryptonese, “My father told me you lost your mind after Astra died. That you were in an asylum. I was never allowed to see you _.”_

“I’m surprised you remember me,” Non said, he too switching to kryptonese, “You were young went I left _._ ”

“I remember. I was hiding behind a couch when you and Astra were fighting about… something I can’t remember,” Kara lied, “You stormed out and that was the last time I ever saw you.”

“Yes…How much of Krypton do you remember?” Non asked her.

“Less then I wish I did,” Kara admitted.

“Hmm… so you didn’t become a priestess,” Non said.

“What?” Kara asked and stood up.

“Your ear cuffs… they symbolize joining the priesthood,” Non told her as she walked to the glass wall.

“Oh… that’s what it meant… I couldn’t remember,” Kara said.

“Yet you used them,” Non said, obviously unhappy with her for her blunt disregard for her own culture.

“They were a good shape for the transmat,” Kara tried to defend herself, knowing it would be no use.

“ _Hmmm_ ,” Non said and walked back and forth in front of the glass, “Do you intend to return to the humans?”

“I don’t know,” Kara told him honestly.

(This wasn’t soft beds and fingers in her hair. This wasn’t soft songs and kind smiles)

“We want to save this planet,” Non told her, only telling her a half-truth.

“Save the planet?” Kara asked.

“This planet is heading towards the same destruction as Krypton and the human are determined to dismiss the signs,” Non told her, coming to a stop in front of her, “We have a plan to save this planet.”

“And the people on it?” Kara asked.

Non nodded, “Once the planet is safe, the humans will be saved as well.”

No they wouldn’t be.

Was this what Non really thought?

“Why are you telling me this?” Kara asked him.

“We, Astra and I, want you to join us,” Non told her.

“And the others?” Kara asked.

“They are unsure of your loyalties.”

“Is that why you haven’t told me the plan?”

“Yes. Once you have proven yourself… we will tell you the plan,” Non told her, “Will you join us? _”_

Kara paused and thought…

Could she join a plan that she worked so hard at stopping once? Could she forsake the people of National City to the ‘mercy’ of Astra and Non? She already allowed Myriad to happen once, doing nothing to stop it- could she do it again?

And what if she refuses? Would she stay in yet another cell-

No, no more cells. She didn’t want to be in another cell for the rest of her life or until she died again-

“I swear myself to Astra and her cause,” Kara (Lied? Told the truth? Tricked? Used his connection to her?) told him.

And Non opened her cell door.

00000

Non lead her to a room that used to be a cell. It wasn’t the room with the soft bed, in fact, it wasn’t much different from the cell she had just been in. The only thing different was that there was no glass wall and she could lock her door from the inside.

“You’ll be sleeping here,” Non told her in Kryptonese, “Tomorrow Astra wants to test your abilities.”

“I don’t have my powers,” Kara told him.

“We do not care for your powers. We want to know what level of skills you have.”

“Oh… like fighting and stuff,” Kara muttered.

“Yes,” Non said, “Goodnight.”

“Night,” Kara said as she watched Non walked away. She enters her room and immediately locked the door behind her. She didn’t know if this cell also had cameras, they probably did, but she didn’t care.

She slid down against the door. Once seated, she drew her knees to her chest and rested her head on her knees as she wrapped her arms around her legs.

Was this the right thing to do? (She hovers in front of Astra, who told her she wanted to talk. But Kara was so angry, so sure she was right, that she attacked the woman) What of Myriad? Could she let them activate it? Turn everyone into zombies? (She shakes each person she comes across, desperate for them to say something, to do something, but they didn’t care.) Her own Mother was against Myriad (But what if it worked? How long did they know about Krypton destruction? Was there a way to save her planet?)

Did it matter?

…

Would she just return to her apartment after someone kills her?

(She chokes, desperate to get air into her lungs, but nothing works- The pain burns through her. It so much worse then what Lane did to her. It tears her body apart and she wants to scream!)

Kara tightened her hold on her body and took deep breaths…

In and out

In and Out

In. Out.

….

0000

_“What are the Kryptonians planning!” Lane shouted at her as one of the doctors slowly injected her with liquid kryptonite._

_“I told you! I don’t know!” Kara shouted._

_Stop being stupid! Tell them about Myriad-_

_Why? They wouldn’t let her go if she does-_

_They’ll stop this-_

_No. Her knowing will just confirm that she’s working with them-_

_She is working with them-_

_“We know you swore yourself to Astra!”_

_“No! Please! I was lying! They would kill me if I didn’t!” Kara begged as she looked up again. But instead of Lane it was Non._

_“I knew you were lying,” Non said and suddenly appears behind her._

_His hand pierced through her chest and she choked. She looked down and instead of seeing blood she saw green liquid. Had they turned her blood into Kryptonite?_

_“What?” Kara muttered as Alex appeared in front of her._

_“I told you. I told you not to use your powers and now look at what happened,” Alex told her and slapped her._

_Kara shook her head and suddenly she was in the backyard of the Danvers home. Kal was talking to Eliza and Jerimiah._

_“No! Kal! Don’t leave me! I’ll be good!” Kara begged him as she gripped his cape._

_“Make her as human as possible. The universe had no use for kryptonians,” Kal tells her foster parents._

_“Of course. We will break her down so much that she feels like she should ask permission just to pee,” Eliza said and grabbed her by the arm._

_“No! Please stop,” Kara begged._

_Let me go! Astra! Non! Help Someone!_

BANG BANG BANG

_DEO agents with guns appeared and started shooting her. Eliza and Alex hold her still as Alex muttered in her ear, “This will just make you weak Kara. I need to be able to beat you up after all. You nothing. Useless. Your one purpose was to protect Kal. But he doesn’t need you. You expendable!”_

BANG BANG BANG

_No. She was alive! She had a purpose!_

BANG BANG BANG

_She screa-_

Kara fell backward when the door behind her slid open. She looked up and saw a woman with long brown hair looking down at her.

“What are you doing,” the woman asked her in kryptonese.

“Um,” Kara muttered as she sat up.

She was still in Fort Rozz. It was just a dream…

(Nothing! Useless! Expendable!)

Kara stood up and ran to the sink. However, waving her hand over the top only caused sonic waves appeared from the ‘facet’. Kara stared at it, annoyed. She wanted water to splash on her face… but she forgot Kryptonians didn’t use water for such things.

“Are you awake?” the woman asked her.

“ _Yea-_ Yes,” Kara said, quickly switching over to kryptonese. She doubted she will be hearing much English again.

“Good. The General told me to retrieve you for breakfast,” the woman said and walked off.

Kara quickly turned off the sonic waves and ran after the woman. She turned when she heard the door to her room slid closed before looking at the female kryptonian.

She was slightly taller than Kara. She had long dark brown hair, some of it tied into a braid. She was wearing the same uniform Kara was, but Kara could see her house crest.

“I’m Kara D- Zor-El,” Kara said.

(Kara Danvers was gone. She didn’t exist here. Here she was just Kara Zor-El… Kara-El)

“Kara-El,” Kara amended softly.

“Did you forget?” the woman asked, her voice turning nasty.

“Once a kryptonian masters their first craft they will be considered Adults. No longer are they of their House Parent, but their own person,” Kara semi-quoted. She remembered sitting in class and being told those words.

But she did forget. She was so used to being called Kara Zor-El by non-humans that… She forgot that she wasn’t a child anymore.

There were those that kept their House Parent’s names after they mastered their craft. But these people were considered fools, weak… unable to properly function in society. They need to be cared for by others and weren’t considered Adults and able to make their own decisions.

(Was her name the reason Non kept calling her child and treating her like a naive fool that didn’t know what she was doing?)

“It stopped mattering,” Kara told her, “No one wanted to know my real name… I stopped thinking about it.”

“… I am Anya-Nar,” Anya-Nar said. Nar wasn’t an Honourable House. Not like Zod and El. They mostly consisted of something similar to Astrologist. They were part of both the Religious Guild and the Science Guild. They were the ones that showed that Religion and Science were the same thing and shouldn’t be divided.

“Are you a soldier?” Kara asked.

“I learned to be,” the older woman told her.

For a moment Kara wanted to ask what she did to end up in Fort Rozz, but knew it wouldn’t make her frie- allies.

Kara doubted she would make actual friends here.

Anya-Nar leads her into a large room that looked like a school cafeteria. Kara looked around, moving slightly closer to Anya-Nar when most of the inmates’ glared at her.

“Here,” Anya-Nar said, drawing Kara’s attention. Kara looked at the woman and saw her hold an empty tray. Kara took it and followed the woman into a queue. It seemed some things were universal.

The food was human, which only reinforced Kara theory that her time in her cell was a test. Kara sat across from Anya-Nar and mostly followed her example. While the woman didn’t raise her glass, which was basically kryptonians thanking Rao for their meal, she did drink it first before eating her food. She, like all kryptonians, started with one thing, finished it, before moving to the next part of the meal. None of the food was mixed that wasn’t already pre-mixed and none of the food touched one another.

“What do I do with the tray?” Kara asked when she finished her food.

“Leave it,” Anya-Nar said and stood up. She indicated Kara to follow her and Kara got up from the table.

Kara took one last look at the occupants of the room before turning back to Anya-Nar. She shuddered as she walked faster… the way they were all looking at her.

“I assume you are aware the General does not wish for you to travel on your own,” Anya-Nar said, glancing at her.

“ _I figured_ ,” Kara muttered in English before clearing her throat and switching back to Kryptonese, “I assumed as much.”

Anya-Nar nodded once, “Good. Come.”

Kara followed the woman through the building, trying to remember the way, but they took several turns before stopping at a room. Anya-Nar typed on the console next to the door and indicated Kara to enter.

For a fleeting moment Kara though she made the wrong choice in trusting the woman when the room lit up. Kara winced, expecting a green light, but looked around in wonder at the red sun radiation.

“You will be tested here little one,” Astra said from behind her.

Kara turned and looked at the woman. She watched as Anya-Nar hit the right side of her chest with her left fist before stopping all movement. Kara swallowed, unsure of what to do, but Astra ignored her. Her aunt nodded at Anya-Nar and she dropped her stiff posture.

“You will fight Anya,” Astra said to Kara.

“Understood,” Kara said and turned to the other woman. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Astra back away and stand against the wall.

“Begin,” Astra said-

Kara immediately jumped out of the way when Anya-Nar charged at her. She didn’t expect the other woman to be so fast without her powers.

Anya-Nar quickly recovered and attacked her again and Kara dodged again. She dodged several more times before she found an opening. She punched the woman on her side and jumped back. The punch, however, didn’t do much to Anya-Nar. She turned to Kara and hit her hard in the face.

“Stop!” Astra called.

Kara winced as she stood up. Her check hurt, but it wasn’t broken.

“Kara,” Astra called and Kara turned to the woman, “You need to attack.”

“What if I hurt her?” Kara asked.

Astra frowned before her eyes widen slightly, “You will not. Do not hold back. If you do harm her, she will easily heal outside this room.”

Kara suddenly felt like she was struck by lightning… she didn’t have to hold back. This wasn’t Alex or another DEO agent. This wasn’t a human. This was someone like her… same physiology, same ability, same… everything.

Kara rolled her shoulders and got into a fighting stance again. Anya-Nar got into her own stance, so different from Kara’s, and Astra called for them to begin again.

Anya-Nar charged at her and Kara stepped only slightly to the side before hitting the woman’s stomach. Kara swirled and kicked her in the back. She watched as the woman fell, and Kara moved to punch her again. Anya-Nar rolled out of the way and Kara’s fist made contact with the floor.

Pain shot through her arm, but Kara ground her teeth and turned to Anya-Nar. Anya-Nar was up and kicked at Kara’s head. Kara fell back and she rolled several times before quickly getting up. She swung her left arm back, trying to throw her non-existent cape out of the way before changing at Anya-Nar.

She was able to get several more hit in before Anya-Nar found an opening. She hit Kara again and Kara ground her teeth. Anya-Nar kept hitting her as Kara couldn’t get away.

Kara flew back, hissing as she turned around and sat up. Before she could get up, Anya-Nar kicked her in the stomach and Kara coughed.

Kara gasped as she tried to get her breath back and saw Anya-Nar advance on her.

No.

Kara growled, causing Anya-Nar to hesitate in surprised. Kara growled deep before jumping at the woman. She pinned her down and held her in place with one hand over her throat. The other woman struggled, using her nails to scratch at her, but Kara ignored the pain. (She was good at that… the pain was almost a pleasant constant in the DEO cell. It told her she was still alive; she was still a frustration to Lane.)

(Nothing. Useless. Expendable.)

(Alex’s voice echoed in her head)

Kara gripped Alex’s throat tighter, watching the human struggle under her grasp. She pulled back her free hand and started to punch and punch and punch.

“I give,” Alex called out, but Kara didn’t stop.

Why did you leave me! Why did you leave me to those people! Humans. The DEO. Everything Alex was!

Kara hated her!

“Enough!” two arms gripped her, pinning her arms to her side as she was lifted from Alex.

Kara screamed, “ _I hate you! I hate you Alex! You left me_!”

“I said Enough!” a male voice sneered as a hand gripped her throat.

Kara chocked and suddenly laughed. Was he going to kill her again?

She felt the hand and arms drop her as she kept laughing. She laughed and laughed, hands gripping into fists as she felt her nails break skin. She laughed and laughed as the air started to leave her and she finally had to stop just so she could breathe.

Would it matter though? She would just die and wake up in her apartment again.

Another choking laugh escaped as Kara gripped her neck. Should she squeeze a bit harder? Just start it all over?

“ _Kara! Stop_!” Astra voice broke through the fog and Kara stopped laughing, her hand dropping from her red throat. She looked in front of her and saw Anya-Nar hold her face, blood running from her head and nose.

Oh… it happened again.

“ _You’re not Alex_ ,” Kara said calmly as though she just opened the door to her apartment.

“Leave us,” Astra told Anya-Nar. She nodded and left, still holding her head. Kara watched as she left in the opposite direction to when they came.

“What happened?” Non asked Astra as Kara remained on her spread knees, just sitting on the floor.

“She turned Savage,” Astra said, “She was losing and I believe became frustrated. Then suddenly she shouted at someone called _Alex_.”

“She’s my sister,” Kara told them, her voice monotone.

“Is she the one who used _Kryptonite_ on you?” Astra asked.

“No… Not at first. She didn’t even know. When I became Supergirl… the DEO came after me. They tried to shoot me with Kryptonite, but I dodge them. Then… then I found out Alex was involved,” Kara said and a flat laugh escaped, “Yet I still… love her. Care for her… I’m just… so angry.”

Non sighed and walked over to her. He grabbed her arm and dragged her up. He then grabbed her chin with his other hand and forced her to look into his eyes. He held her still before letting go and turning to Astra.

“Waking Dreams… She’s a Hell Dreamer,” Non told Astra.

“I see,” Astra said and sighed.

“I’m a what?” Kara asked, wanting so much to just slide down a wall and just sit.

“Human’s call it _PTSD_ ,” Non told her.

“Oh… that,” Kara said and looked away. She turned back when Non and Astra started to mutter to each other softly. Arguing, but not really. Kara watched as they didn’t really stand close to each other… what did that mean?

“Non will be training you from now on,” Astra’s voice came suddenly.

Kara looked up (When did she look down?) and saw Astra stand right in front of her (When did that happen?), one hand on her arm (She can’t feel that).

Kara looked past Astra at Non, who was staring at her intensely, his arms crossed. He didn’t look happy about the decision… nor did he look unhappy.

“Kara?” Astra asked, her voice genital.

(Genital like the soft bed and fingers through her hair. Genital like the songs and smiles and Kara’s hand in her’s.)

“Ok,” Kara muttered, wishing she could just fall into Astra’s arms and be safewarmloved.

But that didn’t exist here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0000  
> End  
> 0000  
> Anya-Nar vs Anya: How I put it is that when Kryptonians don’t know someone well they use their full names. When you are close to someone, or have some kind of connection with them you call them only by their Name.  
> Kara-El vs Kara Zor-El: I always imagined Krypton to be an Equality society. Honestly the idea of one gender being above another/other doesn’t make sense in an advanced society.  
> Fort Rozz: there will be more on Fort Rozz in later chapters, but basically I’m tweaking info from the comics.  
> Sonic Waves: The way I imagined it was that Krypton only had water underground- no rain or seas and such. Thus they have limited supply, even with recycling. So, to clean they use high concentrated sonic waves that ‘push’ the dirt off them.  
> Savage: More on that in the next chapter  
> 0000  
> Mlod: You mentioned that you end up with a psychopathic Supergirl when you planned a loop fic and to tell the truth during my original planning the same thing happened to me. But then I remembered what she said to cat at the end of S01E16: “To me, every person in the city is a light. And every time I've helped one of them A little bit of their light has become a part of me.” Kara has a ability to recognize that each person has as complicate life as she. This is called Sonder. So I decided to run with it.  
> Will she always remember? SPOLIERS


	4. TimeLine 3 Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Non trains Kara, but she is stuck at Fort Rozz like a prisoner. Unfortunately, this means that Astra gets exposed to something Kara was in the first timeline.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: TimeLine 3 Part 3  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of torcher + Major Character Death + Implied self-cannibalism  
> Note* “Normal” –Kryptonese, “Italics” – English

Timeline 3

Every day for the next few days Non would wake her up and take her to the same training room. He would put on some loud vocal-less music and then start teaching her.

“The most important thing to remember is that we are not humans. We may look like them on the outside, but we are vastly different on the inside,” Non told her as he walked around her, “We are more flexible, we are stronger, faster, even without our powers, our minds work faster them theirs, thus we are able to perceive environments better and strategize while fighting instead of allowing our instincts to take over.”

Non would show her movements and have her re-enact them several times. He would show her a move before explaining how to overcome it. Each exercise was slow and done several times.

Kara is reminded of this one documentary she saw about movie fighting where everything was choreographed. Kryptonian fighting styles were like that, like you were on a stage and giving people a show.

“Why do we fight like this,” Kara asked, her body tense as Non moved it into the right position.

“It’s controlled fighting,” Non told her, slapping a tense shoulder, indicating she needed to relax, “It’s too ensure we do not go Savage, like you had yesterday.”

“Savage,” Kara muttered. She’s heard the term before. It was one of those things people whispered in a corner, gossiping over someone’s shame, “I don’t really understand what that means.”

Non stopped and moved away from her. Kara turned, watching as several emotions flashed over Non’s face.

“It’s not something people talk about- The research around it was controversial,” Non started before taking a deep breath, “According to research, unlike many species, a kryptonian’s brain never evolved from what it was original- I am sure you know our origins.”

“We had a similar ancestor as our _dogs_ \- sorry, kaaniis. That an alien race experiment on us and created the first kryptonian,” Kara said, simplifying their history, Non nodding at her words, “But how could our brains not evolve? Wouldn’t that mean we should be acting like animals?”

“Correct. Instead of evolving, our brains grew. Shaping new layers over old, till we got to where we are today. That is why we are able to recall memories and experiences so easily. We can also store and sort information better than most species. The only ones that are better than us are data-based life forms,” Non told her, “However… however, this means we can still access what scientist refer to as the ‘First Brain’- turning us into uncontrollable beasts-“

“Monsters,” Kara muttered-

(She growls and screams.

Monster.

She tries to fight her captives. She can’t control herself as more and more soldiers try to hold her down.

Monster.

Lane screams at them to hold her, but she just keeps fighting.

Monster-)

Non grabbed her shoulders and forced her to face him, “We are not monsters,” Non near spat at her, anger blazing in his eyes.

Kara could feel her heart beat frantically- he reminds her of the first him, and the second him when he spoke of Lane, “I’m sorry-”

“Never believe whatever fool told you those words,” Non said and seem to snap back to himself as he let go of her shoulders like he was being burned.

Kara watched as Non seamed to wrestle with himself. He turned from her and took several deep breaths before turning back to her.

“We can turn Savage easily, that even fighting with strength alone can trigger it. Before the research on the ‘First Brain’, it was said that we turned into animals when we fought only using brute strength- as was the original fighting style of kryptonians,” Non told her, “Males were more prone to these Savage outbursts then females- still are according to research.”

“Grandmother used to call men muutz. She said men and their actions were considered savage,” Kara said, “She said women were more level-headed. That only women should make decisions and men should just follow- Is that’s why we used to have only female leaders?”

“Yes,” Non said, “It was more pronounced when we were a matriarchy, but still happen commonly for several hundred years after the Civil War- There were some that still believed that till the end of Krypton.”

Kara frowned at the words, even though she knew them to be true. She never really thought about it, how different he grandmother was to her mother- how traditional her grandmother was-

Was that the right word for it? Traditional?

“Come. You have more to learn,” Non said and he went back to showing her the fighting moves.

Kara followed his actions and at the end of the session, he left her in the room with the music. He told her to find a way to relax in the noise around her and that someone will come for her.

After some time, Anya-Nar came to get her for breakfast. Kara swallowed before standing up.

“Anya-Nar. I want to apologize for yesterday,” Kara said but stopped when Anya-Nar held up a hand.

“Peace. Your- the General explained you are a Hell Dreamer,” Anya-Nar said.

“Ah, but still. I’m sorry for-”

“Doing what you were told to do?” Anya-Nar asked.

“Hurting you,” Kara finished and Anya-Nar sigh.

“Look at me Kara-El. Do I look injured to you?” Anya-Nar asked.

“No,” Kara said.

“Exactly. Crib your guilt girl. You showed the General you are capable and that is important,” Anya-Nar said.

It was obvious that Anya-Nar didn’t care about the fact that she went Savage.

Kara’s mouth twitched as she looked down. Her hand moved up the fidget with glasses that were no longer there, causing her to pull her eyebrows together, “ _Thanks_.”

“Come. Let us get to breakfast,” Anya-Nar said and walked off, Kara following.

00000

Kara shot out of bed, her dreams leaving her with every breath. Not that that bothered her. She lived for the days she couldn’t remember her dreams. Even if the heightened emotions lingered longer.

She looked around her and suddenly felt the need to get out. Kara knew she shouldn’t move around without Anya-Nar or Non being with her, but she couldn’t stay in this ex-cell anymore.

Touching the sides of the bed, Kara waited for them to retract before heading to her uniform. She stepped into it, pulling the black fabric over her underwear before tugging on her boots. Once dressed she headed for the door.

For a fleeting moment, she thought the door wouldn’t open, that once Anya-Nar drops her off at night she locks the door, only for it to be unlocked by Non in the morning… a true cell.

But it opened without any problem.   

Kara looked around, making sure no one was around before she started heading in a direction. She still honestly didn’t really know her way around the corridor dominated prison, but she did know the way to the outside.

It’s been days since she’s been outside. Non trained her in the mornings, then she would eat with Anya-Nar before returned to her cel- room where she would continue to listen to her music. She would be there for a few hours before Anya-Nar would come back and take her to lunch. Non would take her for training again and then she had dinner and went to bed.

She knew once her powers came back things would be different, but… how was she supposed to absorb sunlight if she never went outside?

Were they testing her again?

Kara shook her head and continued walking. She ran her fingers over the walls as she walked, passing several rooms that were always locked. At least they were in the last timeline. She wasn’t sure if they still were, but didn’t feel like checking them. She hadn’t run into anyone yet, which she should be glad for, but wondered if they even had ‘night shifts’.

After maybe an hour of walking around Kara came across the room that leads outside. Again she thought it would be locked, but found it easily opened.

The cold night air hit her when she opened the door. She took a deep breath of the unfiltered air before walking off into the night. She crossed her arms, bringing them closer to herself as the cold came through her uniform.

Shivering slightly Kara looked around her, turning and walking backward when she finally got out of the large shadow cast by the prison. It was big, humongous even. She felt like an ant just standing near it.

What had been the plan back in the first timeline? After they stopped Non and Indigo. What was she and J’onn going to do? Try and blow it up? What could they have done?

Sighing, Kara turned her back on the prison and walked for a few more yards before she found a large rock. Rubbing her hands together, she gripped the edges and started climbing it. It was big, maybe about twice her height and there were many places for her hands and feet to grab hold.

Once on top Kara sat down and just… stared. She brought her knees to her chest and just watched the land, the only source of light coming from the stars. She took several deep breaths, before closing her eyes and just feeling the wind on her skin.

She shivered and tense when she heard a noise behind her.

“ _Look what we have here… Alura’s daughter_ ,” a female voice came from behind her.

Kara turned around and looked down. There were three inmates, two women, and one man. She didn’t know who they were, but they obviously knew her.

For a moment she wished she stayed in her room.

One of the females smirked before bending her knees and easily jumping onto the rock. Kara scampered back, looking into the woman’s eyes, noticing the slid pupils. There was another noise behind her and when Kara looked she found the man… except now there were two of him. She stared at the lines on his face before standing up.

Kara backed away from both of them, stopping when her foot met the edge of the rock. She quickly looked behind her and saw the first woman look up at her, her blond hair bright against her dark clothes.

“ _I don’t want trouble_ ,” Kara said.

“ _Funny_ ,” ‘Slids’ said, “ _That’s what we want_.”

“ _Your mother is the reason we’re in this hell hole_ ,” the man, ‘Lines’, said.

“ _And now you just come here, pretending to join us after you killed Vartox_ ,” ‘Slids’ said as the three of them came closer to her.

“ _I’m not pretending_!” Kara lied… or did she?

“ _Do you think we’re going to believe that_?” the woman behind her said, “ _You might be able to play on the General’s feelings, but you can’t trick us_.”

“ _Not even Lieutenant Non believes you’ve truly joined us_ ,” ‘Lines’ told her.

Ok, that wasn’t really a surprise Kara thought. She would probably have to kill a DEO agent in front of Non before he might believe her. And even then he would be skeptical.

Then again, Kara doubted Astra was completely convinced of her loyalty either.

“ _Regardless_ ,” Kara tried to argue, “ _Do you think they’re going to be happy if you attack me_?”

“ _Oh look at the little kryptonian, thinking she’s the most important thing around. Typical_ ,” ‘Slids’ said and came even closer.

Kara glance behind her and realized she would have to either jump or-

Kara took off towards the man and woman. She slid between them and jumped off from the rock. She tucked her legs in and rolled when she hit the ground, quickly getting up and running again.

She didn’t get far, however, before someone jumped onto her back. The being grabbed her hair and pulled it back, making her head point to the sky. Kara screamed and bucked her back, surprisingly able to throw off the alien.

Kara tried to get up, but was quickly tackled onto her back. She took her hands and scratched at the person above her as the others came at her. Kara opened her eyes and saw the blond woman open her mouth, as she held Kara down by the shoulders.

Kara shoved the woman’s face to the side and watched wide-eyed as acid spat out of her mouth. Kara brought up her knee and was able to get the woman off her.

The woman stumbled back as Kara stood up. Getting into the fighting style Non had been teaching her. Once she did she started singing in her head, forcing the music to calm her.

The three looked at her and attacked together.

Kara swirled out of the way of ‘Slids’ before bending back completely to avoid ‘Blonde’s’ acid. She kicked her feet up, kicking the woman in the face and flipping backward, landing on her hands. She immediately bent her arms and then pushed off, propelling herself into the air.

Landing back on her feet, Kara saw the man come at her. Remembering that he could split into two people, Kara didn’t wait for him to reach her. She tackled him, punching him a few times before backing off.

Getting back into a stand, Kara pulled her body back when ‘Slids’s’ claws came out and the woman aimed at her face. Still bending back, Kara spun out of the way and kicked the woman in the back.

‘Slids’ fell to the floor just as the man grabbed Kara, pinning her arms to her sides. Kara jerked her head back, head-butting the man just as the blond woman appeared in front of her.

Now lose, Kara pulled back her arm and punched the woman as hard as she could-

And she flew back, hitting the outside of Fort Rozz that was a good 70 or 80 feet away.

Kara looked at her fist as the man charged at her from behind.

Kara felt time slow as she listened to every small sound he made. She waited till he was just behind her before speeding to behind him and kicking him hard in the back. The man flew forward as his copy attacked from the side.

Kara disappeared again and reappeared above the man. She activated her heat vision and hit the ground, disrupting the rocks and causing them to fly into the air. Kara charged at one and hit it towards the copy.

He landed near his original as Kara hear another noise behind her. Knowing it was the feline woman Kara turned around, reaching for her shoulders-

Only for her wrists to be caught by Non’s hands.

He stared into her eyes as Kara breathed fast and shallow breaths. Her flight or fight instincts were telling her to attack-

(She wants to growl and screech. She wants to scratch and kick- all rational thought leaving her)

“Breath in,” Non told her and she did as he said, “Hold, and breath out, then repeat.”

Kara closed her eyes, music still playing in her head as she slowed her breathing.

“Good. What happened?” Non asked- no demanded from her.

“Bad dream,” Kara said.

“So you came outside,” Non finished for her, “Foolish girl.”

“I needed to get out!” Kara argued.

“Do you think we made the rules to imprison you? They are there for your protection!” Non sneered at her, gripping her wrists tighter.

“I couldn’t stay inside,” Kara told him, looking him in the eyes, unblinking.

Non stared at her before nodding and letting her go, “You should have asked Anya to accompany you.”

“I never asked where her room was,” Kara muttered as she looked away, crossing her arms.

“Left of yours,” Non told her bluntly before shaking his head. Kara peeked at him as he watched the inmates behind her, “They attacked you?”

“Yes,” Kara told him, looking back at them. The feline woman was up and checking on the man, his copy nowhere in sight. Kara had to activate her vision to see the other woman, but she was still unconscious…

Or was she dead?

Did Kara kill another person?

“What do you wish to do with them?” Non asked her, drawing back her attention.

“What?”

“Do you wish to kill them for their transgression?” Non asked.

Kara’s eyes widen and she took a step back, her arms falling limp, “I-I- No!”

Non looked at her, tilting his head to the side slightly, “I see… Come. There is still time before your training.”

“I- I’m not going to be able to sleep,” Kara said, and fidgeted with her loose hair. Non’s eyes went to her hands and nodded.

He brought his wrist to his mouth, “Astra, I found Kara-El… She’s unharmed and her powers are back.”

“The other three?” Astra’s voice came from the radio.

“Alive,” Non said looking Kara in the eye.

“I see… I’ll send someone to get them. Will Kara be returning to her room?”

“No. We’re going to go train.”

“Understood.”

Non grabbed Kara by the arm with the same hand and said to her, “Come girl.”

0000

Kara struggled to follow Non at the speed he was keeping. She was still pretty slow when she didn’t push all her powers into her disappearing act.

Non looked back at her and sped up some more. Kara ground her teeth and pushed more power into her flight. She watched as Non started to descend and land on the ground, still in the middle of nowhere.

Kara landed next to him and dropped her hands to her knees, breathing deeply.

“Take this,” Non said and held out a rock.

Kara frowned, but took the rock, “What am I supposed to do with this?”

“Break it,” Non told her.

Kara looked at him like she thought he was crazy, but did as she was told. She gripped the rock, slowly adding more power behind her strength till the rock brock in her hand.

“Too slow. Again,” Non said and threw a rock at her.

Kara caught the rock and squeezed it again. This time she broke it a bit faster only to have Non throw another rock at then. Then another. Then another.

“Stop,” Non said as Kara was about to break the rock, “What do you understand by the word control?”

“I don’t-”

“You’re treating control like you are to only limit your abilities till you need them,” Non told her.

“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?” Kara asked and Non shook his head.

“No. Controlling your powers does not mean using the least amount and then slowing increasing them when needed. It means that you use the right amount the first time every time,” Non told her.

“How am I supposed to know that?” Kara asked him.

“Have you ever baked a cake?” Non asked.

“Yes,” Kara said, looking at him.

“What is the first thing you do before you start baking for a large group of people?” Non asked.

“I check how much of each ingredient I have?” Kara half asked, unsure of the answer.

Non nodded, “Yes. By doing that you know from the begin how many times you can make it from the start. Now image you don't check how much you have of each. You start baking and make the cake once. When your finished you realize you can make it again. So you finish the second cake and realize you have enough to make a third. Now by doing it this way, what are you doing?”

“Waiting time?” Kara guessed.

“And?”

“Looking stupid?”

“No. You are not preparing accordingly,” Non corrected.

Kara felt an ‘oh’ moment fall on her.

“So it’s the same thing as when I punch you and I don’t put as much power behind it. So next time I’ll punch harder, and again and again, when instead I could have punched you the properly in the beginning?” Kara guessed.

“Yes. But not putting enough strength in your attack, your giving your opponent time to counter. And if they know how much power to use?” Non asked her.

“I lose.”

“Yes.”

“But I don’t know how much power I have,” Kara said.

“Unfortunately yes,” Non said and walked towards her, “You have spend your entire time on this planet being taught to use less and less of your abilities. I doubt you have ever been able to…relax.”

Kara looked away, “Yeah-I’ve always had to be careful not to use too much power in case I hurt someone.”

“And that is the inferiority of humans,” Non told her, “Kara-El…you do not have to do that here- you do not have to limit every single action.”

Kara looked at him, not sure what to say.

“From now until I am satisfied, we will be breaking down your self-imposed limits to your powers. We need to know your zenith before I can teach you proper control,” Non told her.

“And- and I don’t have to worry that I’m going to hurt someone,” Kara said more to herself.

Because she can’t hurt anyone here.

(Kara remembers Alex crying out as she accidently breaks she hand. She remembers throwing a ball too hard and giving a boy a broken jaw. She remembers moving in to gently, gently!, kiss a girl only to end up sitting next to her as they try to stop the blood from her nose.)

But now-

She can grip a tight as she wants. She can hug without worrying. She can hold a hand!

Knowing she could do all this and not worry-

That feeling people talk about when they don’t need to worry anymore. When they don’t need to be afraid anymore? When they can get out of bed and smile because nothing could go wrong.

Was this… freedom?

0000

Training her powers with Non was nothing Kara’s experienced before.

She could compare the fighting styles with how Alex taught her. She could compare getting these people’s trust with her actions when she was part of the DEO. She could compare her loyalty to Astra to her loyalty to J’onn back when she only thought he was Hank.

But her powers… that was new.

Non started her on her speed, mainly because of her disappearing act. He had her run from one end to the other, not increasing her speed as she went, but giving it all the very first time.  He would stand on the end she had to get to and drop something. If she didn’t get to him before the object hit the ground, she did it again… and again and again.

Kara honestly felt like she had spent a week on that exercise alone.

Strength was almost worse. Non had given her graphene and told her to crush it into dust.

It wasn’t easy.

Graphene is the strongest material on the planet and was made from pure carbon pressed together. Trying to crush a compacted material was like trying to get out of a finger trap by pulling.

(Then there were times when Kara was strong enough and fast enough that Non wouldn’t have to tell her to do it again, but then he would get this look on his face… like he was confused or unsure. He would stare into her eyes, like he was trying to find an answer to a question, and tell her to do it again.)

In-between, Non continued to teach her how to fight like a kryptonian. He had been watching her fight with the three inmates and told her she still relied on her instincts too much, that training her out of it would take time.

“The heat of battle,” Non said as he walked back and forth in front of Kara, “Is something you should never allow yourself to fall into.”

“Because we can lose control?” Kara asked as she braided her hair. The long hair was annoying when she trained with Non to be honest. She had been surprised when no one told her to cut it or tie it up. Then again, all the kryptonian females walked around with loose hair, none of them bothered by it.

“Because we become Savages,” Non told her as he walked over to her and hit her hand away from her hands.

Kara glared at him, “Why do you keep doing that.”

“You should not do that,” Non told her.

“Why?” Kara asked as Non pulled her hair out of its braid, “It’s annoying me so much I want to cut it.”

“No,” Non told her.

“Why? Do men on our planet also believe that women are prettier when they have long hair?” Kara asked sarcastically and Non frowned at her.

“You do not know what long hair means in our culture do you?”

“It means something?” Kara asked, sitting forward slightly.

Non pulled up his left sleeve and Kara saw his Joining band. Her eyes sparkled as she took in the decorative mental, a single dark blue jewel on it. She loved running her fingers over her parents’ Joining bands.

“Before our Industrial Age when a woman decides she wanted a mate she would take some of her hair and braid it tightly together before tying it around a male’s neck,” Non told her, “Later when it was discovered that many men died because a woman would tie it too tight, they tied it to the male’s wrist instead. Once we entered our Industrial Age, hair was replaced by bands. Bands were made in pairs to show to whom the male belonged to.”

“Oh,” Kara said as Non pulled down his sleeve, “So why do woman still have long hair?”

“It was originally to remind males that they were once collared and could be again,” Non told her.

“But why do we still have long hair?” Kara asked, “Didn’t we stop with all that when we became an Equalist society.”

“As I told you before. Many people, both men, and women, kept to the old ways,” Non reminded her as he sat next to her.

“That’s stupid,” Kara muttered, “Now I really do want to cut my hair.”

“Do not. If you do you will lose any respect you have gained from these people… Long hair is a sign of power, of strength. It is a sign of leadership.”

Kara grabbed her hair and pulled at it slightly, “It still feels dumb.”

“Why do you keep your hair long?” Non asked her.

Kara shrugged, “I like it long. I had it short in university, but started growing it out again, mainly because I didn’t have time to get it cut. In the end, it was just easier to throw it in a ponytail if I was late for work.”

“How strange,” Non muttered as he brushed her hair out of her eyes, “Come. It’s close to lunch… let us return to Fort Rozz.”

Non jumped off the rock and into the air, turning to her, waiting. Kara stood up, brushing dirt off her before taking off herself. Non flew off and Kara quickly caught up to next to him.

Non glanced at her and spend up, Kara speeding up as well. He turned suddenly and Kara took second to realize what was happening before she too turned. She had to speed up to catch up only for Non to turn again.

Kara growled softly before following Non again. She kept an eye on him, taking in even the smallest of twitches in case he changed direction again. When he did, Kara was ready for him and changed with him.

Non smirked and sped up again. It took Kara a while to realize they were basically ‘playing’ ‘follow the leader’.

It took her even longer to realize that he called the base Fort Rozz… like he trusted her.

0000

_Kara laughed as she ran after Janet and the rest of her friends. She had to remember not to run too fast while being It, or she would ruin the game. They were already being nice by playing the ‘kiddy game’ with her. But Janet insisted after she heard Kara never played the game before._

_“Got you!” Kara yelled prematurely when Sally suddenly turned and was able to dodge her. Kara knew she could catch her, but-_

_“What are you doing?” Non asked her. Kara turned as saw him leaning against a tree._

_“I’m playing,” Kara told him._

_“Why are you limiting your powers? You should be able to catch them easily with your superior abilities,” Non told her._

_“But then you wouldn’t be playing fair,” Kara told him._

_“Humans never play fair,” Non reminded her-_

_BANG!_

_Kara felt pain rip through her as she looked down. It was one of the kryptonite injection things the DEO used. She stumbled when suddenly another was shot at her._

_“Help,” Kara muttered as she reaches out to Non._

_“I thought you want to play ‘fair’?” Non asked her and walked away._

_No. Please. Don’t leave me! Help me!_

_Kara felt a hand grab her hair and start cutting it with a knife. She tried to struggle, but with each strand that was cut her power decreased._

_“Please! Help!”_

BANG BANG BANG

Kara opened her eyes and hand immediately started patting at her chest.

BANG BANG BANG

“Coming,” Kara said, not raising her voice. It was either Anya or Non and neither needed her to raise her voice.

Quickly putting on her uniform, Kara unlocked her door to find Anya.

“Morning,” Kara said as she stepped away from the door to get her shoes.

“The General wants to see you,” Anya said.

Kara froze.

It’s been months since Kara joined and she honestly hasn’t seen much of Astra. At first, Kara assumed that the woman was keeping away from her so that it didn’t seem like she was playing favorites, but after two weeks of Astra avoiding her…

Kara wasn’t sure what to think.

“I’m on my way,” Kara said, not looking at Anya.

“You are… unhappy?” Anya guessed.

“No,” Kara said as she walked out the door, “Just unsure… Astra’s been avoiding me and I don’t know why.”

“The General is very busy with the plan,” Anya reminded her.

“And that’s fine,” Kara said, “I just wish… I thought things would be like last time.”

“Like they were on Krypton?” Anya asked.

Actually, Kara meant the last timeline, but Anya didn’t know about that. And Kara didn’t know if she was ever going to tell people about that again.

“Yeah,” Kara muttered.

“You are no longer a child Kara… to expect her to treat you like that-” Anya reminded her.

“It’s not the child thing… it more about being- being family,” Kara told her.

“… you forget that much had happened to the General since you saw her on Krypton,” Anya told her looking away, “Like you, many of us are Hell Dreamers… Perhaps the reason she does not wish to talk to you is so she does not add her burdens to yours?”

“I never thought about it like that,” Kara admitted.

They fell silent the rest of the way. When Kara finally started paying attention she realized they were heading to the control center. Like the way to the outside of the prison, Kara knew her way to the control center. She had spent most of her time in there while Astra and Non controlled Myriad. Watched as they slowly took control of more and more of earth till they had the entire world under their control… well, almost the whole world.

“Here,” Anya said and opened the door. She moved out of the way and allowed Kara to enter. Once inside, Anya closed the door, herself still outside.

Kara looked around the room. It was dark, the only light coming from the circular console. Both Astra and Non were present… but something felt wrong. Astra was walking around the console, pressing things as she went while Non stood to the side. His hands were behind his back and he stared straight in front of himself, not blinking.

“Astra… you called for me?” Kara said as she walked closer to the woman.

“Yes little one,” Astra said before turning off the console and the rest of the lights turned on in the room. The older woman then walked towards her… Non still not having moved.

“Non has told me you’ve started to become an accomplished soldier,” Astra said.

Kara felt like someone just punched her in the gut. She never wanted to be a soldier. But now she was one-

(Or was she one the moment she became Supergirl?)

“Thank you,” Kara said before glancing at Non, who still haven’t moved.

“I have a mission for you,” Astra told her and Kara looked her au- her general in the eyes.

“A mission General?” Kara asked.

“Yes,” Astra said, not even reacting to the ‘general’, “As I believe you’ve assumed, we’ve engaged the DEO several times. Both in the past and a few time since you’ve joined us.”

“I figured as much,” Kara said as she stood with her arms behind her and her body stiff.

“Yes. However, while they have engaged us using Kryptonite weapons, they have only used the radiation in an energy weapon form,” Astra told her, “And without a solid form of the mineral we have no way to combat it.”

Kara felt her body go cold and stiff even more. She wants to look at Non, but her body refused to obey her, “You want me to get a sample.”

“Yes,” Astra told her and turned back to the console, “Non told me you do not know where the DEO is, but you are aware of some of their agents-”

“My sister-”

“She is not your sister!” Astra screamed suddenly.

Kara swallowed and squared her shoulders. She wanted to step back, or maybe even argue back, but the room was tense…

“But that is for later… you will have time to prepare after the Harvest Festival,” Astra said.

“Harvest Festival?” Kara asked.

“Yes it was a common thing on Krypton,” Astra told her.

Kara didn’t remember it, but she was too scared to tell the woman that. She didn’t know what was wrong with Astra, but…

“I will have someone bring you some traditional clothing, but I believe you know what is expected of you,” Astra told her.

“Yes,” Kara lied and she saw Non twitch just slightly out of the corner of her eye.

“Good. The festival is in three days and then I will give you a day to prepare for your mission,” Astra told her.

“Yes, General,” Kara said and she saw a smirk come on Astra’s face. It wasn’t a nice smirk.

“Good. You will leave,” Astra said and waved her off.

Kara felt like she couldn’t turn and leave fast enough. What was wrong with Astra? Kara glance behind her as the lights dimmed and the console came back to life. She saw a strange red light radiated from Astra’s face just as the door closed, cutting her off from the control room.

“Shall we leave?” Anya asked.

“I… I need to go outside,” Kara said.

She wanted to run away. She needed to get away!

“You do not wish to have breakfast?” Anya asked.

“No,” Kara said. She knew if she even came near food right now she was going to throw up.

“… very well,” Anya said and started moving to the exit.

“You don’t have to come with me,” Kara said following.

“You do not know the way to the outside, nor are you allowed to roam anywhere without protection.”

“ _More like guard_ ,” Kara muttered, but continued to walk with the older woman.

0000

Kara shielded her eyes as she stepped outside. The sun was low in the sky and facing them. It was early morning and the chill of the night hasn’t yet left. Kara wished she could hear the sounds of the birds as they too woke up, but there were no birds, much less trees, around Fort Rozz.

Kara took the lead and speed walked to the spot she wanted to go. It wasn’t far from the prison; you could easily see the large structure as the earth grew around it. And once she reached the spot, maybe not the exact spot, but…

This was where she first died.

Kara dropped down and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her knees. She started off into the empty land…

(Kara brought her rotting finger to her mouth and bit through it. The pain was unbearable, there would be no other reason why she would do this. She stopped when she got to the bone and had to draw courage again before biting further. It wasn’t easy, her body kept telling her to stop, blocking the strength she knew she had. But then she did it.

The finger still in her mouth, Kara ground her teeth and screamed through them. She took several breaths before raising the other hand and dropping the figure into it.

The worst moment was staring at it and realizing just how hungry she was…)

And cried.

She didn’t mean to. Kara was just sitting and suddenly realized the tears were running down her face. She wanted to raise her hands and wipe them away. She wanted to sneer at her weakness and she wanted to tell herself she was just being a coward.

But she couldn’t.

Her body felt frozen in place and her limbs felt heavy. She was cold, like the blood in her body had slowed. Her heart wasn’t beating fast nor was there that nausea feeling in her stomach. She felt num- no, she felt nothing… she knew that nothing was going to change what was going to happen… nothing and no one could save her.

She was going to hell.

But maybe that’s where she should go… she was a monster after all.

A sound suddenly resonated from her left and Kara slowly turned her head to the side.

It was Non. He was sitting on the ground next to her. One leg bent and on the ground while the other was drawn up by the knee. His left hand rested on his left knee, while his right hand balanced him as he leaned back slightly. He wasn’t looking at her, instead looking at the view she had faced but couldn’t take in-

There was a large bruise on the right side of his face.

“You’re hurt,” a voice said and it was only when Kara saw her hand reach out to the man that she realized it was she that talked.

“I am fine,” Non told her, but didn’t stop her from touching the fast darkening mark.

Kara brushed her fingertips over his injured face before pulling away, “Did Astra do that?”

“Do not worry. Astra is stressed, nothing more,” Non told her.

“She- she wants me to go to the DEO- wants me to steal the kryptonite,” Kara said.

“Yes,” Non said, still not looking at her.

“I can’t fight my sister- I can’t hurt her,” Kara told him, wondering if she was sealing her fate. Will Non kill her in the same place twice?

No. Instead he sighed and pulled something from a hidden pocket. He turned it on and a holographic image of Alex dressed in heavy DEO armor appeared above it.

“This is her,” Non said, not asked, said. Like he knew without a doubt.

“Alex,” Kara muttered before reaching out to the image. This was the first time she has seen her sister in months- longer if she didn’t count the two time she saw her in this timeline.

“She- she is a formative opponent,” Non told her. He took her hand and placed the device in it, “She always demands us to tell her if you are alive.”

“Alex,” Kara said again, trying to stoke the woman’s check, her hands only distorting the image.

“You cannot refuse this mission Kara- you have sworn yourself to Astra and her cause… nothing except Astra’s death can break you from that oath,” Non told her.

“I know,” Kara said as she slowly closed her hand over the device, turning it off.

“What do you know about the Harvest Festival?” Non asked her after a few minutes.

“Nothing,” Kara admitted.

“I thought as much,” Non muttered before raising his voice, “Originally the Harvest Festival was to give thanks to a plentiful harvest, but it evolved into include other accomplishments. In it, we give thanks to Rao for the opportunities to accomplish what we have done. To praise his name in all we have done.”

“I think I can remember it. I attended my First Festival and a few others, but never a Harvest Festival… is there dancing?” Kara asked.

“There is always dancing,” Non told her.

“Specific dancing?” Kara asked and finally looked at Non. He was staring at her, right into her eyes.

“Yes,” Non told her.

“I don’t… I don’t know it,” Kara told him, unable to look away.

“Again, I figured as much,” Non said and turned away, his hand coming up to gently brush against his own cheek, “I am willing to suspend training for the next few days while I teach you the dance.”

“You are?” Kara asked, surprise coloring her voice.

“Astra… will not be pleased if you do not know what to do,” Non told her, “Besides, you should have learned this a long time ago.”

Kara barely held herself back from jumping onto Non and hugging him. He must have realized it because he got wide-eyed and quickly stood up. He has never been good with physical displays of affection.

Kara remembered being told how she once wouldn’t let go of Non. That he had to carry her around for hours, trying to put her down every few minutes. Astra had joked and said she has never seen the man with such a look of horror on his face, and he had been in war zones.

“Shall we go?” Non asked her.

Kara stood up, turning to Anya, only to find her gone. Did she leave when Non arrived or did she go to find him?

“Girl!” Non called and Kara looked to see him in the air. Quickly wiping her face, Kara pushed off from the ground and followed him.

00000

“In. Out. In. Twirl and clap,” Non told Kara asked followed his instructions.

Kara danced by a large fake fire pit. She and Non had constructed it with only a single line of rocks, placed in a circle.

Yesterday he had shown her the dance fully and then repeated the first segment for her to copy. Once he was sure she knew it well enough he went to the second segment and then the third. Today they were working on the fourth and fifth parts.

“Not your right,” Non said after Kara clapped her hands to the side above her head, “ It's to the left. Again.”

Kara scowled, but returned to her ‘started position.

“Now. In. Out. In. Twirl and clap. Good. Hands to your left, to your right. Stomp and elbow- other way Kara!” Non called when Kara stomped the wrong foot.

Kara sighed as went back to her starting position. She moved as Non called out what she should do, all the while keeping an eye on him. The bruise from yesterday was gone, having healed sometime during their last practice. But… new bruises were on him today.

It wasn’t on his face again, but Kara could see he wasn’t moving as freely as he should. When he was showing her the moves he moved almost mechanically, not wincing once. Not to mention she saw some bruises on his wrists-

And his joining band was gone.

Kara knew she had to ask him about it, but she doubted she would get a straight answer. Besides she didn’t really need to. She knew it was Astra.

Astra who was acting very weird according to everyone. Even Anya told her that Astra was acting even more malicious than usual. That she actually killed someone that upset her during a sudden meeting they had the previous day.

“-Stomp and Elbow. Circle wave and flip. Drop- Good right knee, and then fists to ground alternating- 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Flip on hands and then upright,” Non said.

Kara stopped at the last instruction and then relaxed her body. She walked towards Non as he held out a bottle of water. She took it and sat down as she drank. She tried to look into the distance, but knew she couldn’t see Fort Rozz as they were too far away.

She pulled the bottle away from her lips and turned it in her hands, “People are saying Astra’s acting weird… is that true?”

“She hasn’t been acting like herself lately,” Non told her not really looking at her

“Do you know why?” Kara asked, hoping Non would give her a straight answer. He looked at her for a few minutes before answering.

“No. She went on a mission on her own and when she came back…”

“Where did she go?”

“She said she needed to check on something at Lord Industries-”

Kara coughed, fear ripping through her. Lord Industries?

The red glow from the previous day echoed in her mind. It couldn’t be? But hadn’t the man said that he originally created the red kryptonite to fend of Non and his army?

It seemed this time it got to its intended target, but again like last time Maxwell Lord didn’t get the kryptonite right.

“Have you seen red lines appear on her face?” Kara asked.

She could see Non tense before looking at her. His eyes were hard, like he thought she was keeping something from him. Thus, she quickly rectified the assumption.

“There’s synthetic kryptonite that’s red. But instead of affecting the body it affects the mind. It like every bad thought comes forward. And you act on them, unable to stop yourself. It’s like it takes the best parts of you and locks it away. That all that’s left is the cruel and hurtful parts of you. The parts that don’t care about anyone and purposely want to hurt others,” Kara told him, looking away.

“You have experienced it?” Non asked her.

“Once… only for two days, but it was enough… I almost killed my sister,” Kara told him.

“That’s when they took you and locked you up,” Non theorized. Not accurate, but without knowing the truth, it was probably for the best.

“Yeah,” Kara lied.

“Is there a way to stop it?” Non asked.

“The radiation is inside her. There’s a way to pull the energy out of her, but only the DEO has the technology,” Kara told him.

“And we have no way of getting to the DEO,” Non said.

Kara swallowed. She knew she was making the wrong choice. She knew, but if she didn’t Astra… who knows what she will do?

“Actually-”

Non grabbed her by the neck and lifted her from the ground, her feet dangling in the air. Unlike last time – all back in the first Timeline- Kara knew how to break his hold, but knew it wouldn’t be in her best interest if she did.

“What,” Non said, a sneer on his face as his hand squeezed tighter.

“I- I know where the DEO is,” Kara told him, struggling to breathe. She grabbed at his hands, trying to loosen his hold slightly.

“You lied to us,” Non told her and gripped just slightly tighter.

“I-I was tr-trying to-to keep m-my sister safe,” Kara said, struggling to get her voice to work. Most of the word had ended up just being mouthed.

Non dropped her and clenched his fists, walking away before turned back to her, “You betrayed us.”

“No-” Kara coughed suddenly, “I just didn’t betray her.”

Non scowled and turned away, “I should kill you.”

What, again?

Kara wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh or run away. Dying wasn’t… fun. It wasn’t like going to sleep where one moment you were awake and then you were asleep, only realizing what happened when you wake up again. No… you could feel yourself grow weaker. You could feel your thoughts brake apart, not get distracted like when you dream, but just blank spaces. You start to feel cold and you don’t have the strength to take another breath. You want to, but your body is paralyzed. Darkness sent in as no sounds are heard and…

“If you do, Astra will just get worse,” Kara told him.

“And what do you plan to do?” Non asked her, walking towards her.

Kara stood up, rubbing her neck slightly, “I’ll go tonight. This can’t wait till after the festival… who knows what would happen.”

 “I will come with you,” Non told her.

“No… I might be able to convince Alex I escaped… but if you’re there,” Kara started when Non grabbed her by the chin.

“Escaped without any injuries?” Non asked her, his voice filled with… something.

Kara wanted to screambeghide, but knew Non was right. She couldn’t appear at Alex’s apartment looking like she did.

Kara pulled away from him but nodded. Non grabbed the back of her neck and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“Akner-asur,” Non said and Kara felt her shoulders drop.

0000

Kara felt blood run down her chin as she coughed. She couldn’t stand and flying was difficult as her whole body hurt. She stopped at Alex’s apartment window and wondered if she should knock-

No.

It hurt too much to keep afloat.

Kara easily broke through the window as she pushed with her good hand. She flew in and landed on the floor on her back.

She heard Alex get out of bed and grab her gun. She walked slowly into the room-

“Kara!” Alex yelled and ran to her side. She hesitated in touching her younger sister, seeing the blood almost covering her. Her right leg was broken, her bone sticking out through her knee Her face was mangled and Kara was struggling to see out of one eye. She couldn’t breathe deeply, two of her lung chambers having been pierced by her ribs. Each finger on her left hand was broken in a different way and it was impossible to do anything with it. Cuts and bruises coved the rest her body.

The saddest part was that this wasn’t even the worst pain Kara had ever felt.

 “A-lex,” Kara said through the blood in her mouth.

“Hold on Kara,” Alex said, still unable to touch her, “I’m going to call for help.”

Alex rushed back to her room and Kara could hear her call the DEO. Kara coughed and sneered at herself.

Next time she wasn’t going to tell Non that he should puncture her lungs. She really didn’t like not being able to breathe.

0000

Kara wasn’t surprised that they took her to surgery. She was, however, surprised at the red sun radiation instead of the Kryptonite. Apparently, her talk with Alex those months ago did do something.

Kara wasn’t conscious for long, the doctors – Kara was unable to see their faces and she was happy because what if one of them were one of Lane’s doctors?- quickly put her under before starting to operate.

The fact that she woke on the sunbed instead of a cell- that was the most surprising of all.

“All of her injuries were resent,” J’onn voice pierced her subconscious.

“I don’t care how resent they were! I care that they were there in the first place!” Alex yelled at J’onn.

“For all we know she was placed in that condition to get her into the DEO,” J’onn reminded her.

Which was true after all, Kara thought as she sat up. Kara looked around, horrified to realized that she wasn’t being monitored by anyone… this was just sad.

“You honestly think my sister will allow herself to be subjected to that?” Alex asked, obviously not believing it herself.

“She’s been with the Fort Rozz inmates for months, we don’t know how much she’s changed,” J’onn said, his voice soft, genital.

Kara snorted. What did they image life was like there? A fight for survival? Every day you make new allies and betray your previous ones? That you had to buy a place or something?

Life in Fort Rozz, as sheltered as she was, was… ordinary. She would look at people as she ate in the mess hall. She saw people tease each other. She saw couples and loners. She once sat next to a group that kept teasing one of their friends, laughing as he got more and more embarrassed.  She’s seen people start fights and being broken up. She’s seen… people, just acting like people.

Kara shook her head and stood up, activating her x-ray vision. Alex and J’onn were just outside of the room, a few guards were walking around and-

Lane just entered the building.

Kara sat frozen on the sunbed. She should have known the man would come. The xenophobic asshole made it his life mission to ‘prove’ that kryptonians were evil incarnate. And now Kara was back after months of suspected allying with Astra-

Well, that part wasn’t wrong, but still!

**‘Where are the Kryptonians?’**

Kara needed to run, get out of the DEO. This was a bad idea-

**‘Maybe we should turn this up to a 100 and see what you look like in the morning.’**

Non. Astra was hurting him. Kara knows the DEO might not have the technology to fight red kryptonite, but she also knows how to do it herself-

(She studies the device, the effects of that the kryptonite did to her. She writes down everything she felt and did after she was infected, making sure she will know if it ever happened again. She makes sure she can combat it- makes sure she never hurts someone again-

In the end, she didn’t need red kryptonite to be a monster)

-Once she has the parts she needs she can get both the green and red kryptonite and come back to the prison. Then she can work with Non and Hev-Zu to reverse the effects on Astra-

“Where is she?” Lane’s voice echoed.

Kara swallowed as she felt her back burn. Her hand came up to her face and she touched her nose and skin. The sight of her full fingered hand wasn’t right.

“She’s recovering from the operation,” J’onn told him.

“So you didn’t throw her in a cell? What is wrong with you. This girl is dangerous and she’s working with the other Kryptonians,” Lane told them.

“We don’t know that-” Alex started.

“My point exactly. Until we know her allegiance. She needs to be locked up and interrogated,” Lane told them.

**‘If you don’t tell me what I want to hear I’ll let you spend some time with Dr Forman. He’s been begging some time with your lungs. Maybe we should have one or two removed, see what happens.’**

“Out of my way,” Lane said and entered the room. Two men followed him before Alex and J’onn could block the door, stopping the rest from entering.

Kara could feel the slight burning of the kryptonite that was no doubt in the guns.

“My name is General Sam Lane. I have been given permission to interrogate you and find out what you know of the Kryptonians plans by any means,” Lane told her.

Kara laughed.

She didn’t mean to. (Burn as she screamed) She could still feel the cold of her body. (Will she ever be warm again?) Her heart was picking up and her muscles were tensing. (It the kryptonite! She needed to get away. She didn’t want to go back. Please! Astra! Non! Please!) She could feel tears run down her face (when did that start?) as she slipped off the bed.

“Is something funny?” Lane asked as the men pointed their weapons at-

Kara reappeared behind Lane and shoved her hand through his chest. The man choked and someone screamed. Kara ripped her hand out of him and watched as he fell to the ground.

Pity. She wanted him to suffer. She should have watched how Non killed the man in the last-

BANG

Kara felt something pierce through her chest as she laughed at the blood-soaked hand in happiness. The hole burned and Kara dropped her hand to her chest.

“Stop!” Alex yelled but it was too late.

Several more ‘bangs’ sounded as the men shot her at close courters. Unlike last time where Kara could move so they couldn’t hit anything vital, Kara was trapped between Lane’s body, the two soldiers, and Alex and J’onn. She felt the bullets pierce her body, felt herself grow weak-

Knowing she couldn’t save Non.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0000  
> End  
> 0000  
> Short Timeline I know. But the point of the timeline was for her to learn how to use her powers and learn how to fight.  
> And start to see the Fort Rozz criminals as people. She needed to question everything she knew about them.  
> The chapter is also short because Kara will have flashbacks to many things in this timeline and I don’t want to repeat the scenes.  
> Muutz: Something like a mutt, but more like shit stuck to the bottom of your shoe  
> zenith: 100% of something  
> Long Hair: Now I don't have a problemn with people haveing long hair, dispite prefering to keep my hair short. I have had my hair long and I can tell you, trying to excersize do anything that requerirsa seeing with long hair isn't easy. It consently gets into your eyes and if your fighing you don't have time to wipe it out of your eyes.  
> So why would Astra, a soldier, fight with her hair loose? Knowing it could be a distraction or someone could grab hold of it?  
> (I know it was for production and stuff, but that was bad choise on there part- focasing more on beuaty themn practicalirty)  
> The only thing I could think of was it could be cultural. So I made something up.  
> Non beating Kara: Kara agrees to the injuries, even giving him suggestions on what to do. She doesn’t blame him or hates him for what happened.


	5. The Death of Supergirl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was angry- so, so angry- and in that anger, Kara does something she will never forgive herself for doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Death of Supergirl  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of torcher + Major Character Death + Suicide  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback  
> 00000

Timeline 4

Kara opened her eyes as her alarm sounded. She sat up, looking around the room before turning to the alarm. She took it, bringing to her chest and held it with both hands-

She hurled it at a wall and screamed as loud as she could.

CRASH!

Kara ignored the sounds of the glass breaking all around her as she continued to scream.

And scream.

And scream.

She heard sounds outside as cars waved to avoid each other. But Kara didn’t care.

She was- no- she needs to get to Lane. She refused to let the man live. If he wasn’t there she could have saved Astra. Saved Non. Anya, and the rest who never talked to her but were bound to Astra.

Astra was going to… destroy them, who they were. She would treat them like toys and objects to use…

A tool.

Kara threw off her covers and walked to the broken window. She just barely made out the chaos below her. She could see people pointing at her, some with phones in their hands as they were recording the crashes below. Now they were all pointed at her…

And she didn’t care.

Kara growled and pushed off her window.

Except her powers didn’t immediately start to work. She fell to the ground, creating a crater as she landed. Tensing her leg muscles, Kara pushed off again. She was propelled high into the air moving a few meters before falling to the ground again. She pushed off harder and landed again.

“Come on!” Kara yelled at herself and pushed off once more and forced her body into activating it flying capabilities.

She soared into the air and stopped. Where was Lane?

Metropolis. Even if she wouldn’t find Lane there, she would be able to find Lucy and force her to tell her where her father was.

Kara looked around her as she activated her microscopic vision. She ignored the people as they took photos of her as she found the direction to Metropolis.

For a moment she thought she would run into Kal-El, but remembered the man was off world again. And even if he wasn’t, Kara wasn’t going to let him stop her.

Kara sped through her air, forcing herself faster and faster as she headed towards Lane. She was going to kill him slowly. Then she was going to kill Maxwell Lord. If he wasn’t around she wouldn’t have to deal with the red Kryptonite.

That thought made her stop. While she didn’t know where Lane was, she did know where Lord was. And when she deals with Lord, she would force Lane to reveal himself. The human general wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to prove to the people of earth the danger of his monsters.

Kara turned and headed to Lord Industries. She activated her x-ray vision and quickly found the man in his office. She smashed through the glass balcony doors, and the man jumped up, looking at her confusion on his face.

Kara walked to him slowly as the man moved to call security. He didn’t get to it before Kara grabbed him by the neck. He looked at her, ready to talk his way out of the situation, but Kara just snapped his neck.

Quick and easy.

Humans were so fragile.

Kara dragged the body to the window and threw it to the streets below. She wondered if she should sit and wait for Lane to arrive, but decided against it. Instead she flew outside and made sure people got a good shot of her. She needed them to know who was responsible.

Satisfied, Kara flew of and headed back towards Metropolises.

0000

Kara entered Lucy Lanes apartment through her now broken window. Kara knew she was here; she had made sure before entering. She watched as Lucy walked out of her bed room, holding a gun and pointing it at her.

Both women hesitated. Lucy because her intruder was wearing Powerpuff Girls pyjamas and Kara because Lucy hasn’t done anything to her-

No. She took James from her. She kept taking James from her.

“Who are you! What do you want!” Lucy asked keeping completely still. Kara was surprised at how Lucy was able to hide her fear like that, but she knew she shouldn’t be.

“I’m looking for your father,” Kara said, walking closer, not at all bothered by the gun. She didn’t feel the slight burning she normally did when Kryptonite was involved.

“What do you want with him?” Lucy asked, standing her ground.

“He and I have a score to settle,” Kara said and Lucy fired.

The shot bounced of Kara and hit the wall. Lucy looked at her before turned sharply back to Kara, fear finally on her face.

“What are you?” Lucy asked.

“Don’t you know?” Kara asked and speeded towards the woman and grabbed her by the neck, “I’m a monster.”

Lucy’s eyes widen as Monster lifted her off the ground. It squeezed its hand tightly around Lucy’s throat.

“Now,” Monster breathed on Lucy’s face, causing the woman to close her eyes and turn away, “Where is daddy dearest.”

Lucy’s eyes snapped opened and she stared into Monster’s, “Go to Hell.”

Monster laughed and threw her to the wall. There was crunch and Lucy grabbed her shoulder after landing on the ground. Monster walked over to her and grabbed her by the broken shoulder.

“Tell me or I’ll remove your arm,” Monster told her.

**‘Maybe we should just remove your feet,’ Lane said after they caught her trying to escape. Kara spat at him. Lane wiped his face and gestured to two men. They were each carrying large hammers, the kind you do construction work with. The other men held her down and pinned her legs.**

**Kara refused to scream. She refused to utter a single sound as they swung and crushed her feet. She just stared into Lane’s eyes.**

Lucy spat at her and Monster laughed. It dragged Lucy to the broken window and hanged her over the edge, holding on to only her broken arm.

“Where is General Sam Lane?” Monster asked her.

“Put her down,” Kal-El said. Monster looked at the man, confused. When did he get back to earth?

“Well well well. If it isn’t the savior of the human race. The great messiah of Earth! The Man of Steel. The one. The only… Clark Kent,” Monster said and threw Lucy into the apartment. Monster pushed off and hovered in front of Ka- Clark.

“What-”

“The great pretender. The man playing at being Kryptonian while he’s nothing more than a primitive ape,” Monster said as she flew around him.

“Kara-”

“The man who would rather save this primitive backward planet than his own flesh and blood,” Monster said and she flew right into Clark’s face, “The man who played house with his pet rather than take in the last of his family.”

“Kara-”

Monster swung at Clark and punched him as hard as she could. Clark flew back, crashing into the ground below.

‘Seems like she’s not happy,’ Batman’s voice came through Clark’s earpiece.

So that’s how he knew what was going on.

Monster landed in front of Clark. He stood up and looked around her, only caring for the safety of the humans as always.

“Kara. You need to calm down,” Clark said.

“Now Clark. Don’t you want to see which one of us is stronger?” Monster asked, not bothering to lower it’s voice, “Which one of us is the true kryptonian?”

“I don’t want to fight you,” Clark told it.

“Pity,” Monster said, “I was hoping for some kind of challenge.”

Monster speeded towards him and punched him again. This time Clark was ready for it and blocked it. He still moved back, his feet breaking the pavement as he did.

Monster twisted it’s body and kicked him in the ribs. It watched as he flew into a building before charging at him, punching him repeatedly as they broke through several walls. Clark grabbed it suddenly and pinned it to the ground by it’s shoulders.

 **‘Stop struggling like a worm girl. Think! What part of you is free?’** Non’s voice echoed in it’s head.

Monster brought up it’s leg and kneed Clark in the gut. The man grunted but didn’t move off her. Monster kicked him a few more times, but Clark just used his legs to pin it’s. Monster sneered and activated it’s heat vision and hit Clark’s. It increased the power to it’s zenith and blew Clark of it.

Monster stood up as Clark held his face. It walked up to the kneeling man and punched Clark as hard as it could in the face. There was a crack and Clark fell to the ground unconscious. Or dead. It didn’t care.

“Guess I win,” Monster said and spat at Clark.

It turned and felt an injection hit it’s body. It looked down and saw the green liquid. It quickly ripped it of it’s body and sped out of the way for a second dose. It looked at the soldiers and saw they were part of the DEO.

Monster growled and grabbed the first Agent, breaking their neck before throwing them to the ground. It watched as the helmet flew of-

Alex.

Kara froze and stared at her sister’s body. She dropped to her knees and shook as she crawled to the body. There was a scream in the air and someone kept shouting Alex’s name.

Kara pulled her sister’s body to her and moved to touch her still warm face. Her hand shook and she couldn’t bring herself to do it.

“No Alex, please! No. I didn’t mean to- It wasn’t me, please open your eyes! Alex. Alex! Alex open your eyes!” Kara shouted as she shook her sister. She had to wake up!

Alex’s loose head jerked up and down as Kara shook her. Kara screamed when the skin started to tear. She dropped her sister, but couldn’t stop looking into her open, lifeless eyes.

Kara grabbed her head and screamed, unable to look away. She had to fix this!

Kara grabbed one of the guns, making sure it was filled with Kryptonite bullets. Seeing it was, Kara placed the gun to her head and pulled the trigger-

0000

Timeline 5

Kara shot up from her bed. She fell forward and felt bile start to come up her throat. She ran to the toilet and threw up. She cried as she stayed bent over the bowl, screaming slightly to herself.

She was a monster! She killed her sister! She was going to kill Lucy. She did kill Maxwell Lord!

She was going to kill Lane. After she already did.

Kara threw up again. Once her throat was clear Kara pulled back and dropped onto her back. She looked at the ceiling and just stared.

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be this way. She didn’t want to kill people.

Yes. She hated what Lane did to her. And she needed to make sure he will never do it again, but killing him? Turning into the monster he always said she was? No. She couldn’t do that…

She didn’t deserve to live.

Kara sat up at that thought. Maybe this reset thing only had a specific number of resets? What if she killed herself till she stayed dead?

But what of the people of National City?

No. They were safe the times she wasn’t a ‘hero’. The crazies only came because she was around. Besides, she had no right to call herself a hero after what she did.

She allowed Astra and Non to control the world with Myriad.

She joined them.

She just killed people.

She wasn’t a hero.

She didn’t deserve to live.

Kara stood up and, not caring about the pajamas, flew out her window. She raced to the DEO and smashed through the door, not stopping till she got to the weapon’s room.

She grabbed the first weapon she felt a burn from. It was the same knife J’onn used against Astra. Kara brought it to her neck just as people entered the room.

“Drop it!” J’onn’s voice filled the room.

Kara turned as saw Alex next to her.

Stupid! Selfish! Bitch!

Kara didn’t even check to see if Alex was safe.

“Kara? Kara what are you doing!” Alex yelled.

“Don’t go to Geneva,” Kara told her and quickly stabbed the knife into her neck-

0000

Timeline 6

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Kara sat up and looked around the room. She shouldn’t have done that where Alex could see her. If these timelines continued after she died she didn’t need to leave that with Alex.

Kara grabbed her phone and typed a message to Alex. She told the woman that she knew about the DEO and that there was a bomb on the plane to Geneva and that they were fighting Kryptonians. Kara wanted to tell her where Fort Rozz was, but her vision blurred with Non and his bruised face… and she couldn’t.

She did tell her about Myriad though.

Afterward, Kara left through the window again and flew towards the highest point in the city- no- she needed to get further away.

Kara flew and flew, not sure where she was going. The only thing she made sure of was that she didn’t go back to Fort Rozz.

She ended up at the seaside and landed on a cliff facing the water. Looking down she could see several sharp rocks pointing up.

Satisfied with the location, Kara turned around and looked at the ground, activating her heat vision.

**‘Do not use your concussive beams so much,’ Non told her after Kara pushed him away from her. He called an end to the training session and flew towards her.**

**“Why shouldn’t I use my heat vision?” Kara asked.**

**“Heat vision,” Non said in a sarcastic tone, “Is the most concentrated form of the solar energy you absorbed. Using it too many times will drain your energy faster.”**

**“So I should only use it when I really have to?” Kara asked him.**

**“Yes,” Non said and flew with her to Fort Rozz. It wasn’t long before Non flew in strange patterns, Kara following him.**

Kara dropped to her knees, an unwanted weakness coming over her. She hated the feeling of just losing her powers. It was like-

Nothing she could compare to.

The sudden feeling of power that just… disappears.

Kara shook her head and picked up a rock. She tried squeezing it, but nothing happened. She slammed it onto her other hand and pain echoed through her body.

“Ow,” Kara hissed through clench teeth as she shook her hand.

Turning back to the edge of the cliff, she ignored the crater behind her. She walked to the edge and for a moment hesitated. She didn’t want to see the rocks get closer and closer as she fell.

Kara swallowed, closed her eyes and turned around. Taking one deep breath she leaned back and fell.

She felt the rocks stab into her. She opened her eyes and looked down, seeing one of the rocks poking out of her stomach. She coughed, blood gathering in her mouth.

Damn.

A laugh escaped Kara as she realized she was probably going to die a slow and painful death. She shouldn’t have been so artistic in her death… she should have just grabbed a normal gun and finished it once she drained her powers.

But nnnoooo. She wa- death

At- Alex- life

Cold

sea –pretty

Cold.

I- sorry

00000

Timeline 7

Kara sat next to her toilet as she took a few deep breaths now that her throat wasn’t occupied.

She needed a faster way to kill herself. The time between the timelines was making her hesitate…

Maybe she shouldn’t-

No. She died months ago in the middle of nowhere in Non- her enemy’s arms. She shouldn’t even be alive.

But Kara still needed a faster way to ki- stop the loops. It took too long to drain her powers and she could risk not doing it properly. She could go back to the kryptonite, but she didn’t want her sister to see her do it.

She needed an easy and sure way… drowning? She needed to breathe just like everyone else. But wouldn’t her fear make her go up and take a breath? What did humans do to counter that? Tie themselves to a rock? No. That wouldn’t work for her. She needed to do something that wouldn’t let her escape-

Space.

Once she was outside the atmosphere she wouldn’t be able to breathe or fly. She would drift in space and suffocate.

Yes… space it was.

Getting up, Kara sent Alex the same message she did the last time. Once that was done, she opened her window and sped off towards space.

0000

Timeline 34

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Kara slowly opened her eyes and took a deep breath. She turned onto her back and looked at the ceiling. She draped her arm over her eyes and blocked out the alarm. 

It’s been 30 loops of her killing herself and frankly… she was tired of it.

She was tired of the broken thoughts just before she died. She was tired of her body gasping for breath and unable to get it. She was tired of having to ignore Alex when Kara accidentally takes her phone with her. She was just-

Done.

Signing, Kara threw off her blankets. She grabbed her phone but instead of messaging Alex she called CatCo and told them she was sick. (Not really a lie)

After that, she stood in her apartment for a few moments before going to her closet and grabbing her esaul and canvases. She took out her paint and set up by her window. She opened her curtains and then the window, allowing the cold air to flow into the room.

Kara mixed her paints and hesitated, trying to figure out what to paint…

She painted the stars. The last view of them before the frost covered her eyes. She blurred the edges, simulating the frost.

She painted the ocean. The view she saw as she slowly bled to death.

She starts to paint Alex’s face as she holds the knife to her neck but stops. Instead, she paints Alex laughing. She’s sitting on the couch, watching some show and just laughing. Alex goes limp as she can’t breathe, but still can’t stop laughing. She’s holding her stomach and struggling to keep watching and listening to what was happening on the tv. Her mouth is formed into an open grin, her teeth parted just slightly. Her hair is spread over the back of the couch like a halo. Her legs are on the couch, a blanket over them and they’re pulled slightly to her body as she laughs.

She paints Krypton. The view of the city from her window. The image is when the sun just starts to rise and the city is bathed in a red glow. The Blood Glow it was called.

She paints Krypton on the last day. Buildings falling apart and crushing the people below. Blood splatters everywhere and people calling out for help. Everything shakes and Kara falls, hitting her head on the ground-

**‘Get up Kara! We have to go!’**

She paints Astra and Non. Her mother standing next to her sister with her father next to his wife. Kara sits in front of her parents and Alex sits close next to her. They were smiling… happy… a family.

“Who’s that?” Alex asks.

Kara freezes, unable to turn around. She hasn’t seen her sister since she killed her and then herself. She hasn’t seen much of Alex at all since these loops started. She wants to turn around and see the life in her eyes, but was it real? Was any of this?

“Those are my parents,” Kara said pointing at them, “And that is Aunt Astra and her husband, Non.”

“Your uncle?” Alex asked as she came to stand next to Kara. Kara forced herself to only look at the painting.

“He’s not blood, so no,” Kara asked before tilting her head slightly, “My parents never really like him.”

“Why am I there?” Alex asked.

“You’re my sister. You might not be blood, but you’re part of my soul,” Kara said and finally looked at the other woman.

She was beautiful. She was alive and she was… perfect.

“Why are you here?” Kara asked, her voice monotones.

“You weren’t answering your phone,” Alex told her, “I was on my way to Geneva and wanted to see if you needed help with your date… but it looks like you’re not going.”

“No,” Kara said and looked back at the painting.

“I wish I could stay. I hate leaving you on your bad days,” Alex said.

“It fine, Alex, I understand. You can’t always be there,” Kara said.

Alex smiled sadly and hugged Kara tightly, “We’ll have a day in when I get back, ok?”

“Ok,” Kara said and Alex let go. Kara watched her sister walked towards the door, pausing to look at the picture of herself. She walked towards it, a look of amazement on her face.

“Kara...” Alex started, but couldn’t say anything else.

“You can have it if you want,” Kara told the woman.

“Yeah,” Alex said slowly, her hand stretch towards it.

“It might still be wet,” Kara said and Alex stopped. She shook her head and smiled at Kara, “See you, Kara.”

“Bye,” Kara said and the ghost of her sister left.

Ghosts.

That what all of them were. She is trapped in the last few seconds of life, living these warped versions of reality.

None of it was real… how could it be?

Kara sighed and put down the paint and paintbrush. She then moved to her closet and pulled out a pair of black pants and a large black hoody. Once dressed Kara tied up her hair, making sure it wouldn’t be seen under her hood. She then took out a black scarf and tied it around the bottom half of her face.

(The feel of the fabric bring comfort. Her shoulders relax, yet at the same time, there is a fear, a fear that someone will see what she looks like. Her hands reach up, tracing the bump in the fabric caused by her nose- so strange to feel.)

She moved to her window and opened it, staring at the setting sun for a few moments. She gathered her energy and pushing it to her legs and jumped. Kara propelled herself high into the air and waited for her dissent. She laid on her back as she fell to the ground, keeping her eyes closed as she felt the uncontrollable fall. Once she could feel a good updraft, she activated her flying and soared.

It took a few times in the past dreams before Kara figured out how to get her flying activated so fast. But now she does it almost effortlessly.

­­Kara flew to the highest point of the city and just sat down, watching the sun finish setting. She was waiting for Alex’s flight with the plan to catch it immediately once the engine explodes.

For a moment she wondered if the other Alexs listened to her and never got on the Geneva flights. Then she wondered how long it took for them to realize she was dead. Or were those dreams gone once she no longer existed in them? That had to be it…

None of this was real after all.

Kara closed her eyes and threw her hearing towards Alex. She listened as she checked in and then got on her flight. She listened as her sister went over her information while fight checks were being carried out. She listened as Alex put on her seat belt and the plane took off. And she listened as the Captain told everyone to stay seated after the engine stopped working.

She could hear them beg for help. Pray not only to their gods but to Superman.

Was that what they were to the humans? Gods?

Kara opened her eyes and pushed off the tower, heading towards the plane. She moved behind it, pulling down her mask and quickly blew out the fire surrounding the engine before putting her mask back. She then moved under the plane and helped it safely descend on the water again.

She didn’t stay, quickly getting out of the water and flying off. She had no intention of playing superhero for a bunch of dead people…

So why save a ghost?

Kara shook her head. No. Alex was different. She was her sister, her soulmate, even in a dream Kara wouldn’t let her die.

Not again.

0000

Kara walked into work the next day, ignoring the people as they talked about what happened the previous day. No one knew what had saved the plane, but everyone was enjoying their speculations.

Kara walked to her desk, placing everything down as Winn walked over to her.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Winn asked her. Kara smiled, the action not really reflecting in her eyes.

“I’m fine, thank you, Winn,” Kara said.

“You sure? You look, kind of tired or something,” Winn told her.

“Yeah-yeah. I’m just… last bit of the cold you know,” Kara said as she refusing to look at the not-person.

“If you’re sure… hey did you hear about yesterday?” Winn asked.

“Yeah… I heard about it on the news this morning,” Kara said, glancing at Winn quickly before she had to turn away again.

He’s not real. None of this was.

Not-Winn stared at her a few moments before heading back to his desk, glancing at her a few times. Kara knew he was going to check on her the whole day. Sighing, Kara sat down and checked her inbox, finding the termination letters for the tribune. Cracking her fingers, Kara started on the… rather blunt termination letters for the not-people. A part of her worried about their families and their futures, but she stopped.

None of this was real. There was no reason to care for people that don’t even really exist. 

Kara sent them just as Cat- no, Not-Cat entered the building. She walked towards her office and Kara grabbed her tablet before following her.

“Oh, Kiera. You're alive,” Not-Ms Grant said, obviously not really caring. She was also notably annoyed that Kara wasn’t around the previous day and Kara wondered how many of the interns were fired.

“Yes,” Kara said, “I finished sending the termination letters.”

“Good. I want a meeting with all the important people about yesterday’s incident and I want…

0000

Kara walked into the alien bar after giving them their password. She noticed a few people stare at her, but they ultimately ignored her when she didn’t react to their unhuman characteristics. She walked to the counter and ordered a random drink.

“Sorry, sweetie. Need to know species before I can give you that,” the female Aellan said. Kara looked at her soft yellow skin, pure white eyes and purple hair- a young Aellan then. Their hair changes to green as they get older.

“Kryptonian,” Kara muttered, but was loud enough that several people in the bar heard her. She felt them turn to her and the Aellan looked at her wide-eyed. The woman pored Kara her drink and handed it to her.

“Thanks,” Kara said and walked to one of the tables. She sat down, slowly drinking the spicy alcohol while watching everyone around her. Did every city have one of these? Did Metropolis? And if it did, did Ka- Clark know about it? Did he look at them with suspicion or did he ignore them, leaving them for the DEO in that sector to keep an eye on?

Did the DEO only care about rounding up the Aliens? Not caring if they were law abiding or not. Kara never asked and now she wished she did. She remembers arguing quite a bit to get the DEO to leave the alien professor alone, to let him go… humans were just so… afraid.

Afraid of everything that didn’t look like them. Whether it was because of old prejudice stemming from the different ‘races’ on earth or from their alien movies Kara didn’t know. She couldn’t understand how you could judge anyone by just what they looked like.

“Hey,” a slightly echoing voice said. Kara knew she wouldn’t have picked up the echo if it wasn’t for her hearing. She looked up and saw a male Talokites. His light blue skin blending nicely with his black button up shirt and dark jeans while his long midnight blue hair hanged loosely around his shoulder. He was handsome and smiling at her.

“Hi,” Kara said, reaching up to fidget with her glasses.

“Mind if I sit?” the man asked.

“No please,” Kara said and indicated to the seat across from her. She took a deep breath and smelled the intense pheromones- That’s right, Talokites could release pheromones on command. It helped them to get mates. Whether or not the mate was temporary or permanent.

Kara’s mouth twitched in amusement. A kryptonian’s sexual attraction was deeply embedded in their emotional connection with someone. It wasn’t exactly like the human’s category of demisexual, but it was close. Kryptonians could still find someone physically attractive and could immediately know whether they would want a romantic relationship with another person, but they wouldn’t actually have any sexual feelings towards the person till a deep emotional connection was formed. For some kryptonians, like her parents, this takes only a few months. Others, like Cl- Uncle Jor and Lara, it could take years. It honestly depended on the kryptonian

“That wouldn’t work on me,” Kara said as the man sat down.

He laughed, the sound like a musical note, and smiled, “I thought so, but you can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“I’m Kara-El,” Kara said once the pheromones quickly disappeared, “You?”

“Grev Mallor,” Grev said and drank his own drink, “We don’t get many kryptonians here.”

Kara’s mouth twitched, “As far as I know, most of the Kryptonians on earth used to be inmates of Fort Rozz.”

“And what about you?”

“Me… I’m a refugee from Krypton, nothing more,” Kara told him as she swirled the last of her drink. She was surprised she wasn’t drunk yet. Then again, Kara didn’t really know what drunk feels like.

“I’ve heard of the House of El,” Grev said.

“Not surprising. It was Krypton’s Great House,” Kara said, slight amusement at her own words.

“That, I’m not sure what it means,” Grev said as he indicated to a waitress for a refill.

“Basically it meant that the House of El delivered the most advancements to Krypton,” Kara said, “The more you do for Krypton, the more important you become.”

“Ah. You were a meritocracy,” Grev said as the waitress gave him a new drink. He smiled at her and the pheromones increased again. The waitress, who looked pretty humanoid if it wasn’t for the artistically placed spots on her forehead, just rolled her eyes at him and walked away. Only then did Kara see her tail poke out of from under her skirt.

“And talokites come from a warrior-center society,” Kara countered.

Grev smiled, the pheromones gone again, “Too true.”

“So what are you doing on earth?” Kara asked.

“I was sent to lead an army to Earth, but realized just how primitive the people were. Most of my warrior left, but a few of us fell in love with the… quaintness.”

Kara snorted, “That’s one way of saying it.”

“And what of you? Why did you stay on Earth?” Grev asked.

Kara paused and looked down at her glass. Why did she stay? There were many planets that could support Kryptonian life. Planets that were more advanced and had a higher Class then Earth. There were even the colonies. So why did she stay? Was it because of Kal? Believing he was the only family she had left… and then he abandoned her. Why still stay?

Kara downed the last of her drink, “I don’t know anymore. I thought I stayed for family, then I guess for my platonic… but now…”

Could she leave? Or will the dream stop her? None of this was real, so surely there were ends to the dream. Places she couldn’t recreate in her mind; people she couldn’t imagine.

So where did Grev come from?

She had gone to several intergalactic markets in her youth, but she couldn’t remember all the different species she saw there. It’s possible she was recreating him from there, her knowledge of the species filling the blanks.

“Would you leave now?” Grev asked, the smile gone.

“I don’t know. I don’t even know where I’ll go,” Kara said.

“I do hope you’ll stay. Otherwise, it would make wooing you much more difficult,” Grev said with a grin.

“You plan to woo me?” Kara said, grinning at the old fashion word.

“Why not? A beautiful woman like yourself. From a species that elevate knowledge above all things… and a person that’s seen the horrors of war,” Grev said the last part softly.

“Not war, just the deaths of innocents,” Kara said, her eyes distant as she hears her own screams in her mind.

“That is war Kara,” Grev said, “But what do you say? May I court you?”

Kara’s mouth twitched, “You're supposed to give me a gift first.”

Grev raised an eyebrow- such a human action. Just how long has he been on earth?- and leaned forward, “What kind of gift?”

“Depends on what you do. Like I’m a painter. So I would gift someone a painting as a courting gift. You said you’re a soldier. Most soldiers give each other weapons. My Aunt gave her husband a pair of Ecto-guns,” Kara told him.

“I see. Well then. How about we go on a date this Saturday and I’ll give you a proper courting gift?” Grev said, releasing pheromones again.

Was that a common action in his culture? On Krypton any type of coercion was a punishable crime, especially if it was about sex.

“Don’t use your pheromones on me again and we have a deal,” Kara told him.

She didn’t actually like the man. At least not romantically. But she knew she had to get James off her brain.

(He walks into the meeting, Kara standing at the back out of everyone’s way. They talk about what could have saved the plane and he glances at her. She ignores him, but her heart still pounds. She’s not a hero, not Supergirl… not to ghosts.)

The pheromones disappear and Grev looks slightly embarrassed, “Sorry. Normal reaction for talokites.”

“I figured,” Kara said and held out her hand. He smiled and took it.

And she felt nothing.

0000

One thing Kara was surprised at was that Not-Vartox didn’t call her out. Maybe it was the fact that she didn’t go off playing superhero after the plane incident. Or maybe the DEO was able to catch him faster since the plane landed so quickly. Whatever the reason… no one expected Kara.

No one except Not-James.

Not-James who looks at the news as then glances at her. His eyes telling her she was supposed to be helping others. Saving them, but she doesn’t. What did he think about her non-actions? Was he disappointed?

**‘It's not the DEO's ethics I'm worried about.’**

Not-James had her on a pedestal. He expected things from her and got angry when she didn’t live up to them.

(Kara remembers how he used to look at her. He saw a normal person, someone worth knowing. But then she did something not human, like lift her couch up when a monopoly di rolled under it. He himself having offered to pick it up for her. He looks at her like… like he forgot what she was.)

Kara takes to ignoring him.

And Not-Winn takes to ignoring her.

Kara sighed and glances his way again.

Two days after the plane incident Not-Winn invited her for lunch…

**“Hey Kara,” Not-Winn said as Kara said goodbye to the person on the phone. She glanced at him quickly to show she was listening before turning back to what she was writing.**

**(Writing. So annoying. Kara had to learn penmanship when she arrived on earth. On Krypton everyone used computers or dictation. No one actually wrote anything down.)**

**“I was wondering, if you’re not still busy, if you wanted to go for lunch,” Not-Winn asked her.**

**Kara, forgetting about Not-Winn’s crush, said, “Sure. Let me just finish this and then we can go.”**

**“Do you need to grab Ms. Grant's lunch?” Not-Winn asked.**

**“I can call and tell them to deliver, or I can get one of the interns to get it,” Kara said as she moved to her tablet and started on an email.**

**“You’ve never used to do that,” Not-Winn said.**

**No. She didn’t. But she didn’t really see the need to put as much effort in her work as before. She was already doing twice as much as a normal assistant would and what was the point of it when she was in this dream world.**

**“I have more important things to do,” Kara replied before indicating to one of the interns towards her. She wrote down the order they needed to get and gave it to them, checking the boy’s name. She then called the restaurant and told them who was getting Ms. Grant’s lunch.**

**Kara smiled at Not-Winn, indicating she was done as she grabbed her purse. She glanced at Not-Ms Grant’s office as she left, surprised that the woman was looking at her with a look of concentration.**

**Kara and Not-Winn walked to Noonan's, a restaurant Kara waitressed at during her university years. They quickly ordered before getting a seat. Kara could see Not-Winn was acting a bit nervous and couldn’t figure out why.**

**“You ok?” Kara asked.**

**“Yeah! I mean- yes. It’s just- it, um, hot,” Not-Winn said and pulled at his collar.**

**“You can loosen your tie if you want. It’s not like we’re at work now,” Kara said and crossed her legs. She looked at the people walking around and tried to see if she could recognize each of them, but knew she wouldn’t-**

**Wouldn’t that mean that this wasn’t a dream? That this was real?**

**“-AR!”**

**Kara turned to him and stared. How did she miss him shouting at her?**

**“Sorry. I’m just a little tired,” Kara said.**

**“Actually you do that a lot lately. Like you’re in your own little world,” Not-Winn said as he picked at his food-**

**When did their food arrive?**

**“Oh,” Kara said, not really able to say anything else. What could she say? How could she explain?**

**“Are you ok?” Not-Winn asked, but Kara couldn’t answer.**

**“Sorry. I’ve been Ghost girl since Alex was almost in that plane crash. I keep thinking, what if,” Kara said.**

**“Yeah. Losing people isn’t easy,” Not-Winn agreed.**

**She lost everyone. Alex. Winn. James. Everyone was dead and this was the dream she was forced into in her last few minutes. Sometimes she can still hear Non sing as the darkness-**

**“What’s that song?” Not-Winn asked.**

**“What?” Kara asked, looking at him again.**

**“You were singing a song. I didn’t recognize the words. Is it one of those K-pop songs?” Not-Winn asked.**

**“I was singing?” Kara asked. Was it the song Non was singing to her? Or was it something else? She couldn’t even remember the song Non was singing. She didn’t know if it was some kind of funeral song or if it was one from her childhood.**

**“My… uncle used to sing it to me,” Kara said.**

**Not-Winn was quiet for a few moments, “What happened to him?”**

**“My aunt died and he went insane,” Kara told him the lie her parents always told her.**

**“Oh,” Not-Winn said.**

**“The language is in my mother-tong,” Kara told him and drank her lukewarm coffee.**

**“I didn’t know English isn’t your first language,” Winn said, looking unhappy.**

**“I had speech therapy as a child and after nearly twelve years of being in America, I picked up the accent,” Kara told him and ate some of her food. She couldn’t eat much of it, however, her stomach rebelling against the food.**

**Kara signed as indicated a doggy bag for herself as Winn finished his food. Once she got it and they paid, they stood up and headed back to work.**

**Winn glanced at her a few time before saying, “That was nice. We should do it again.”**

**It was only then that Kara remembered his crush, “Was this a date?”**

**“Um. It-it doesn’t have to be,” Winn said.**

**Kara sighed and stopped them, “Winn. I like you. You a good friend. I need you in my life. Not having you, you not being there… it will hurt and I don’t- I don’t know if I could go on but- but… I don’t feel like that towards you.”**

**“O-oh. Well, we can just you-know, ignore this completely,” Winn said and started walking faster, leaving Kara behind. She stopped as she watched him walk away, remembering the first time- When it was real. His father. His strength.**

**(It hurt when he said he wasn’t sure if he could still be friends with her. It hurt that this person, this person she relied on and cared about and wanted in her life, wasn’t sure what to do now that he knew she didn’t- couldn’t feel the same. But… but she listened to him, how he cared about himself, about his own mental health. Yes. He couldn’t sit around and just smile while they ate and they couldn’t just pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t. He needed to heal. He needed to grow and accept this new reality. And so did she. And once they did… they were friends. They still had each other in their lives and… and was he ok? Or did her almost death at the hands of the black mercy force him to not care if he was ok?)**

**Kara looked from the passing cars and saw Winn was gone. Will he pretend this didn’t happen? Or will he heal again?**

“Kiera!” Ms. Grant called her, causing her to snap from her memory. Kara looked at the woman and grabbed her things before heading towards the office, seeing no reason to rush…

What was she going to do? Fire her?

0000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0000  
> End  
> 0000  
> Kara has lost touch with reality. To us it’s pretty fast, but remember she pretty much killed herself 31 times. Plus she killed Alex. She doesn’t want everything to be real.  
> She’s also disassociating with her more savage side. Calling it Monster and acting like it’s another person entirely.  
> Powerpuff Girls: It was probably a show that was on when she landed on earth. And since the girls had powers similar to her she would have related. Plus, the fact people still loved the girl despite everything- she would have wanted that.  
> Aellan: a DC alien  
> Grev Mallor: Character from the comics  
> I honestly believe Kara loves Winn. She just isn’t in love with him. I hate that they made them lose that connection after season 2.  
> Meritocracy: government or the holding of power by people selected according to merit.  
> Gifts: Random Custom I came up with so long ago and kept as a head cannon. In a society that aims to prove worth, it just makes sense to me.


	6. The Death of Supergirl Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dream continues, but Kara wants it to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Groundhog ‘Day’  
> Chapter Title: The Death of Supergirl Part 2  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of torcher + Major Character Death + Suicide  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 34

Kara traced her finger over the hilt of the dagger Grev gave her. It was completely silver, and not just in color. Kara wondered for a moment where Grev could have gotten the silver, but then realized she didn’t really care.

A non-person stealing from dead people.

“What do you think?” Grev asked.

The blade was straight- and Kara remembered these curved daggers from kryptonian history that she always wanted- and plain. It was obvious that the blade was more for practicality rather than to be visually pleasing. Even the hilt was plain, created for a grip that was larger than her own.

“Where did you get it?” Kara asked, her finger sliding over the sharp edge.

“It from my planet. It was a dagger I had while in service. It was presented to me when I took command of my own legion,” Grev said.

Not silver then.

Kara looked at the man, frowning slightly at the caucasian skin color and black hair. She knew he was wearing a transmat, but seeing him human, seeing him forced to hide himself… humans were just so backwards.

“Kara?” Grev called her name softly, mindful since they were in the middle of a park.

“Sorry,” Kara said, shaking her head.

“What do you think of the dagger? Is it appropriate for a courting gift?” Grev asked.

“Yes, it’s appropriate,” Kara said smiling at him.

She just didn’t like it.

She didn’t like the shape. She didn’t like military background. She didn’t like… the non-person who gave it to her.

“I like it,” Kara said before putting the dagger back into its sheath. She then slid the dagger into her handbag.

“What do we do now?” Grev asked.

“Since I accepted I have a week to give you a courting gift,” Kara said.

“Can we date during the week?” Grev asked.

“We can spend time together,” Kara said nodding before pausing suddenly, “Sorry. I never asked what talokites do during their courting process.”

“We don’t really have courting. We release pheromones to tell someone we’re interested. If they are, they release pheromones back and we fuck. If we feel like we’re a good match, we continue to fuck,” Grev said.

“That seems very… un-complex,” Kara said, not really meaning the word. Uncomfortable. Weird. Daximite like. These words fit better, but she knew it was very rude to use them.

Grev laughed and moved to rest his arms on the back of the bench they were sitting on, “Don’t worry about it. I know it seems horrible to a kryptonian. Your people are very… formal.”

Boring. She knew he meant that. She’s heard other races say that about her people before. She’s even heard it from people here on earth. Those that knew her as a teenager and even when she was in university. People thought she was the boring virgin good girl.

And maybe she was. She didn’t see a problem with her action in years past and nothing anyone said was going make her feel ashamed of the person she is.

Was?

“So what do you want to do now?” Grev asked.

Kara tilted her head slightly and thought, “Ice cream.”

“Ice cream?”

“I love ice cream. We didn’t have it on Krypton,” Kara said.

“Ice cream it is,” Grev said and stood up. He held out his arm and Kara could smell the start of his pheromones before he suddenly turns it off.

“Sorry. Habit,” Grev said, looking embarrassed by his slip.

“Thank you for remembering,” Kara said and took his arm.

They walked to a cart, pointing at things that were different on their plants. Kara told him how they didn’t have birds and had reserves on the planet for flowers. Grev told her about how strange to was to see children playing. Children were taken from their parents immediately from birth and raised till they were assigned a position in the empire.

“You never played as a child?” Kara asked.

“No,” Grev said, getting this sad look on his face, “I never even knew what it was till I came to this planet.”

“Was Earth your first mission in command?” Kara asked.

“Yes. I guess other planets I’ve been to had children playing, but I never saw it,” Grev said, “What about Krypton?”

“We played as children, but they were more what human’s call ‘educational games’. They were still fun, I never felt like I was lacking, but they weren’t pointless like games here,” Kara said.

“I’ve researched a lot of their games. From what I can tell many outside games derives from needing to survive. Like ‘hide and seek’ or ‘tag’. Those game teach the humans survival skills and hunting skills,” Grev said.

“I’ve noticed. Hopscotch helps with hand-eye coordination, Jump Rope with timing and rhythm, and even games like Red Light, Green Light can be translated into survival skills,” Kara said, “But their all put in these pretty package that the humans don’t even really realize it themselves.”

“I’ve seen that too,” Grev said as they finally reached the ice cream kart, “Humans seem to thrive on manipulating each other.”

Kara nodded and they ordered their ice cream. After getting the treats they played for it and continued walking.

“I think it’s the package that makes things different,” Kara said after she took a few licks, “Their ‘games’ aren’t so different from what we did, but our species were just much more straightforward with what they were doing.”

“I ag-” Grev’s voice suddenly cuts off and Kara turns around, looking to where he went.

That’s when Kara saw Vartox. He had knocked out Grev, who was now lying on the ground. Or at least she hoped he was just knocked out. Kara looked around them, quickly noting the humans, a few having already recognized the confrontation.

Shit. She didn’t want the humans involved. She didn’t want to reveal her powers and be forced to become there Saviour.

“Alura’s daughter,” Not-Vartox said.

“Vartox,” Kara said calmly. Her knowing his name surprised him.

“How-”

“You look different with a head,” Kara said, the words slipping out of her mouth. She still remembers what she did in one of the last dreams. The one that felt so real.

“You will come with me or I will open fire on the humans,” Vartox said.

For a moment Kara contemplated running. What should she care for ghosts? She could hear Non singing in the background as Vartox looked at her, confusion on his face.

But then she wondered what the DEO would do if they caught her after dealing with a murderous valeronian. After finding out that she was the reason people were dead. She didn’t want to deal with the DEO, not even the dream version.

“OK,” Kara said and slowly walked towards him, her hands visible. Vartox grabbed her by the shoulder, turned her around and started pushing her out the park.

0000

“Na’vor ma shan te kaar,” Kara sang softly to herself after Not-Vartox leads her into an old abandoned building. National City had many of them surprisingly. Then again the city was close to both Gotham and Metropolises. The people living here normally got caught between the attacks on the other cities. Thus, most people moved to Central City.

Wasn’t Barry from Central City?

“Shut up,” Not-Vartox said and pushed her to a slab of concrete, “Stay.”

He said it to her like one would say it to a dog and Kara was half tempted to go ‘woof woof’. More just to see what he would do than anything else.

What was the worst he could do? Kill her?

Not-Vartox walked to a computer and pressed a few things before an image of Astra- no, Not-Astra- appeared on the screen.

“I have the girl,” Not-Vartox said.

“She better not be hurt,” Not-Astra said.

“I kept my side of the bargain,” Not-Vartox said and moved the screen, and thus the camera, and pointed it at her.

“Hello Little One,” Not-Astra said.

She sounded… like herself. Here she wasn’t being affected by the red kryptonite. Here she was still… what? A good person? Hardly. Kara was right in the real world. Astra had stared into the darkness that was the Phantom Zone till everything good about her died.

“Are you not going to speak to me?” Astra asked.

“I don’t speak to ghosts,” Kara tells her and looks away. She could hear cars heading their way.

It was the DEO.

“I am not a ghost Kara. It is me. I am real and I am alive,” the ghost said.

Kara didn’t look at the woman, instead, she activated her x-ray vision and started waiting for the DEO to arrive. She wondered if Alex was going to be part of the operation.

(They sit on the couch, blankets over their legs as they shout at the characters on the TV. It’s strange, having Alex not confront her for saving her. Not a good strange. Alex is careful with her words and tense when her phone rings. She’s careful with what she says and the atmosphere is tense. Was it always like that? Kara couldn’t remember.)

“Stay there Kara. I am coming to get you,” Astra said, “I will not continue to leave you with the humans.”

Weakness. Was that what causes Astra to be kind to her? The belief that Kara needed her to survive? Astra was never kind when she joined them. She treated Kara like a soldier, or didn’t talk to her at all-

(Kara follows Anya-Nar to the red room when Astra turns the corner. Kara perks up, hoping she would be able to spend time with the other woman, but once Astra sees her she turns and heads back the way she came. Kara feels her shoulders drop, part of her hoping that she would see the general in the training room, but she never does…)

But when she was captured or couldn’t fight… Astra turns into the woman she remembers. Treating her like a child. Someone that needs help.

Was that what she saw?

“No,” Kara says and the DEO agents burst into the building. Not-Vartox drops the screen, Astra still able to see everything, and grabs Kara around the neck with his arm. His other arm grabs her wrist and holds them behind her back, pulling them just enough that Kara could feel the pain.

She wanted to laugh. In fact, the sound almost came out and she had to press her lips together, causing a choking sound to escape. She hears Not-Astra yell at Not-Vartox not to hurt her and Kara wonders if she sounded if she was crying.

“Let the kryptonian go Vartox,” a female voice calls and Kara immediately recognize Alex’s voice.

“One more step and I’ll snap her neck,” Vartox warns.

Kara held still as the DEO agents still, Not-Astra still yelling in the background, “You hurt her Vartox and I will gut you!”

“Let go,” Kara says calmly and Vartox gips her tighter, cutting off her air.

“This is Director Henshaw! Release the civilian and turn yourself in,” J’onn shouts as he moved to the front.

“One more step,” Vartox warns and starts looking around.

“Non’s coming Kara. Keep calm,” Astra’s voice cuts through.

Kara closed her eyes as she tried to block out the all the sounds of the dead. She gasped slightly, trying to get more air into her lungs.

She hates not being able to breathe.

**‘When someone is holding you in a lock when standing they will regularly forget about your legs,’ Non said as he wraps his arm around her neck and held her arms behind her back, her elbows at a 90-degree angle.**

**‘So I should kick them?’ Kara asked.**

**‘That is one way,’ Non tells her, tightening his hold on her neck before releasing slightly, ‘Always be careful of your neck. Even on this plant if it gets snapped you will die.’**

**‘So I shouldn’t let someone squeeze too tightly,’ Kara said.**

**‘Not always. There are different types of neck holds. The first is simply to hold your head in place. The second is to put pressure on your esophagus so to stop or limit your breathing. The third is used to put pressure on your neck bone,’ Non told her.**

**‘How will I know the difference?’ Kara asked.**

**‘This manner is usually to cut off your air. A front hand grip is usually to hold you in place, and a back neck grip is to break your neck. But this is not always so. I will show you the difference and you will learn the difference,’ Non said.**

**‘I don’t like not being able to breathe,’ Kara tells him.**

**Non nodded, ‘I will teach you to breathe around such things as well.’**

Kara stopped her gasping by tilting her head back and opening her mouth, allowing the air to move freely through her mouth. She tucked in her stomach and took deep breaths, not allowing her chest to expand too much. She breathed in more than out and breathed through both her mouth and nose.

Kara felt her heart slow and the tension leave her body. She wiggled her feet slightly, make sure they were free. People still screaming all around her.

Kara moved her right leg forward just a bit and pushed all her energy into it. She bends her leg slightly and quickly kicked back.

CRACK

Vartox yelled and let her go, dropping to the floor. Kara looked down and saw his lower leg bone sticking outside flesh. He screamed and then looked up at her, his body tensing when he looked her in the eyes.

Only then did Kara realize that everything had gone quiet. She glanced at the ghost of her Aunt before looking back to Vartox. She walked up to him and pulled her right leg back slightly.

And kicked him in the chest.

CR-CRA-CRACK

Several cracks were heard as Kara pretty muck kicked in his ribcage. She placed her foot on the ground and squatted down.

“Don’t. Choke. Me,” Kara said slowly before getting up and walking over to the screen. Astra stared at her, wide-eyed.

“Kara-”

“Goodbye Not-Astra. I don’t listen to ghosts,” Kara said and used her heat vision to destroy the screen. She then turned to the DEO agents. None of them moved, a few even training their weapons- non-burning weapons- on her.

“Hello Alex,” Kara said, “Is my boyfriend alive?”

“Mother of god,” one of the agents muttered.

00000

Kara rubbed each finger individually as she sat in the DEO med-bay. She almost fought the DEO agents just so she wouldn’t come back here, but knew they would continue to hunt her for the rest of the dream if she did that. She didn’t want to keep running. She just wanted to spend these dreams in peace and quiet.

“-3…4…5,” Kara muttered as she rubbed her fingers. Alex glances at her, but hasn’t said much since they brought her in. J’onn hasn’t come yet, still dealing with Vartox, who was surprisingly still alive.

Kara fidgeted, feeling her fingers start to hurt from all the rubbing. Thus, she kicked off her shoes and started counting her toes.

She closed her eyes slightly, listening to Non’s heartbeat as he hovered above the building. She had been tracing him since Astra said he was coming for her. Why him though? Was it because of her dream when she was part of Astra’s army? Because of spending so much time with him?

Did she miss him? Was that why her mind was conjuring the scene of him coming for her?

“What’s that song?” Alex asked suddenly.

“Song?” Kara asked

“You were singing,” Alex said.

“I was?” Kara asked. Strange. Kara couldn’t remember singing. She could hear Non sing to her from the real world, but she still couldn’t recognize the words.

Alex stared at her for a few moments before moving towards her. Kara could see her older sister was watching her hands (5 left, 5 right) as she rubbed her toes (5 left, 5 right… was her vision blurring- no. None of that really happened. It was a dream, none of it was real, so stop it Kara!).

Kara dropped her feet from the med-bed she was given as Alex moved to sit next to Kara. Alex wasn’t looking at her, instead staring at her feet as they kicked.

“How long- how long did you know I was part of the DEO?” Alex asked.

Kara blinked, wondering if she should tell this dream version that none of this was real, that she was dying slowly, but knew she wouldn’t believe her, “Long enough that I caught the plane you were on.”

“That was you?” Alex asked, looking at Kara, “What if someone saw you-”

“Not even you knew what I did,” Kara interrupted, “Besides Vartox knows about me anyway so… so do the rest of Fort Rozz.”

That wasn’t what Kara wanted to happen. She wanted to live completely anonymously. She didn’t want Not-Astra or Not-Non to know about her…

“Watch the sun as it rises,” Kara muttered, unsure where the words came from.

“And so does Astra,” Alex said, not having heard Kara.

“That’s not Astra,” Kara told her, “Astra died-” when you shoved a sword through her back, “- a year before Krypton exploded.”

“Kara… I’ve met her. Talked to her. It is her,” Alex said slowly.

“No,” Kara said.

No one was real. She was in a world of not-people-

“Take heed, for it chases away the night,” Kara sang softly.

She knew this song, at least she thinks she does. What song was it though? Where did she hear it?

“Non survived as well,” Alex told her.

“Non was put in an institution,” Kara told her, “He lost his mind after Astra died. I never saw him… he died on Krypton.”

“Kara-”

“Miss Danvers,” Not-Jo’nnHank said as he walked into the room, “I am Director Hank Henshaw. I am in charge of the DEO, the Department of Extranormal Operations.”

“That’s nice,” Kara said, a small smile causing her lips to twitch.

(Kara and Alex laugh as they watch Mrs. Brown’s Boys. Kara covered her mouth when Mrs. Brown talked to the mother of the girlfriend to one of her sons. “Instead of ‘Fuck Off’ I now say ‘That’s nice’.”)

Alex doesn’t glance at her.

“We are here to monitor and protect the planet from extraterrestrial presence and/or invasion,” No-J’onnHank continued, pretending not to hear her, “That means you.”

“Congratulations,” Kara told him, “Should I care?”

“You’re a threat Miss Danvers,” Not-J’onnHank said.

Kara leaned forward slightly, dipping her voice into a deep growl, “Then why aren’t I in cuffs.”

Kara could see both tense as they recognize the threat for what it was. Kara took a deep breath, clenching her hands into fists (She couldn’t feel her fingers. Where they still there? Maybe she should check), before jumping off the bed.

“I’m leaving,” Kara said plainly and started to walk to the door.

“The reason you’re not in cuffs, Miss Danvers is because we need your help,” Not-J’onnHank said as he stepped in front of her.

Kara tilted her head to the side. She wondered why he uses her human name instead of her real one. Was it to show he saw her as a person, or to remind her she wasn’t on Krypton anymore?

“With what?” the words came out without permission. She didn’t want to have anything to do with the DEO. So why should she care?

“The ones in charge of the Fort Rozz escapees are a group of kryptonians, your Aunt as the head,” Not-J’onnHank said.

“My Aunt is dead,” Kara told him.

“She isn’t,” Not-J’onnHank said, “We need your help to stop them.”

“Why?” Kara asked, her voice soft and her lips moving in a fluent motion. She temped to speak Kryptonese, English had always felt wrong on her tongue, “You have your Kryptonite-” (Kara stares at her fingers. She couldn’t feel them, the flesh and meat have burned away and she could start to see the bones. She can’t flex them and it almost felt like they weren’t even there anymore), “- You have the technology to stop them. Why do you need me?”

“You don’t want to fight to clean up this mess?” Not-J’onnHank asked.

“I don’t fight Ghosts director,” Kara told him as she stares into his eyes, unblinking, “Besides… I have no intention to be the human’s maid.”

Kara pushed passed him and walked off.

“Its your fault there here!” Not-J’onnHank called, trying to stop her, “Your ship brought Fort Rozz here! If people die, it’s on your hands!”

Kara just kept walking.

00000

Kara ended her call with Grev, happy to learn that he was just knocked out. The DEO, thinking he was human, had completely ignored him. If it wasn’t for a family of Tamaranean that found him and realized who he was, Grev would have been taken to a human hospital and discovered for what he was.

(Kara remembers the young girl with orange skin and green eyes, begging for help and the human calls her a monster… she wasn’t real either.)

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK-

Kara ripped open the door, unsurprised to find Alex on the other side. She looked disheveled, and was holding something in her hands.

“What are you doing here Alex,” Kara asked.

“We have to talk about your Aun-”

“No we don’t,” Kara said, moving to close the door in Alex’s face, but Alex quickly slipped into the room. Kara sighed and moved to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of Alien Alcohol.

(She finally understands the why humans are drawn to alcohol. The few moments of oblivion, not being able to string thoughts together while memories are finally silent…)

She opens it and drowns about a quarter of what was in the bottle. She doesn’t turn back to Alex, moving instead to her living room area and sitting down. She looks to the night sky and tilts the bottle against her mouth again.

“I know you don’t want to believe Astra and Non are alive, but they are Kara,” Alex tells her as she comes to stand in front of the younger girl.

“They’re not,” Kara tells her- (Astra dies in her arms and Non no doubts dies by Astra’s hand when the red kryptonite fully takes over her.), “If they were they would have come for me years ago. Once they realized who Clark was they would know my parents wouldn’t leave me to die.”

Why didn’t they realize that? Did they think her parents just left her to die? Why would they think that? What could make them think Kara didn’t survive? Or did they look for someone older? Expecting her to be around their age?

“Kara,” Alex started, but stopped, like she didn’t know what to say.

“Why didn’t they find me, Alex?” Kara asked, “Why did all of them abandon me? Non, Astra, my parents, Kal… no one wanted me.”

“Kara no,” Alex sat down next to her, pulling the bottle from her hands and wrapping her arms around Kara’s shoulders, “You are wanted.”

**“Nothing! Useless! Expendable!”**

Alex’s voices overlapped. Dreams meshed together and nothing mattered.

“Why then? Why send me here? Why didn’t Kal want me? Why didn’t Astra and Non come for me?” Kara asked as she buried her face in Alex’s chest.

“I don’t know Kara. Things just didn’t work out like that. But you are wanted Kara, I promise. I love you so much and I don’t know what I would do without you. Kara, please… you’re my little sister, the other part of my soul like you said. If you're gone- If you leave… I will do everything I can to find you,” Alex said.

“I just… I can’t do this anymore Alex. I can’t keep doing this over and over again, never-ending. I just want the dream to stop! I just want to be in Rao’s light with my parents,” Kara begged, tears running down her face.

“Kara no. You’re still needed here,” Alex said as she too started crying, “It’s not your time just yet. There are still things you are meant to do.”

No there wasn’t.

But Kara didn’t speak. Alex wouldn’t understand. She wouldn’t believe her if she told her she was already dying. That this was all in her head. Maybe that’s why Alex seemed so real. She was trapped in Kara’s head while she too laid dying.

“I like that song,” Alex muttered, but Kara didn’t really hear her as she felt the dream lull her into the dark.

Was this the time she wouldn’t wake up? Was this the time she would open her eyes and find her in Rao’s light? Would she finally be with her family again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End  
> 00000  
> Short Chapter I know. But when I got to the last scene I realized I couldn't put anything after it without takeing from it. This scene means so much, not only to Kara and Alex, but to the story in a whole.  
> Dream Vs Not-Dream: Kara herself isn’t really sure if she’s dreaming or not. I think it more like she hopes she’s dreaming than anything.  
> Not-person’ vs ‘person’: Some people are more real to her. Or they’re new and she doesn’t have anything to compare them to.  
> 0000  
> I would like to thank everyone that read, reviewed, or left kudos. I really appreciate it. I'm glad people have liked it so far. I know there are a lot of question of how the universe and the time travel works, but it will be answered in later chapters. I'm already done with Chapter 16 and already know the full plots for the next 5 or 6 chapters. The story has been planned out, so I am taking it in a specific direction.  
> I know the start seems a bit slow, but I wanted to show how and why Kara became the way she is. There will be a final timeline eventually, but that's still a while yet.


	7. The Death of Supergirl Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is Kara? Alien? or Human? Or is she Supergirl? A role everyone seams to want her to play.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Death of Supergirl Part 3  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of torcher + Major Character Death + Suicide  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback  
> 00000

Timeline 34

Kara walked into the bar, waving at a few people before walking towards Grev. Under her arm was a small painting, about the size of an A4 page. It was a painting of the stars. Not Earth’s, but the starts one would see from Krypton.

(Kara feels the ship try to activate its cryogenics after she leaves the atmosphere. She sees the stars, wondering how many she would pass on her way to Sol 3. She watches them, burning the image into her memory, knowing she would never see them again.)

“Here,” Kara said after she hugs Grev ‘hello’.

Grev takes the painting and starts pulling off the paper she wrapped around it. She could see he wasn’t impressed by the image.

“You gave me something from your planet,” Kara started to explain; “This is my last view of the stars around Krypton.”

“Oh,” Grev said and his face changes as his fingers move to brush the canvas, “I don’t remember my last view of my planet or it’s stars. I was already in cryo-sleep before the ship left the planet… but I remember looking up my first night here and just knowing-”

“You weren’t home,” Kara finished for him.

“Yes,” Grev said before putting the painting to the side and smiling at her, his pheromones almost leaking through before he catches it, “Thank you.”

Kara nodded and smiled slightly. She wondered if this could work. If she could become attached to this non-person…

A waitress arrives and asks them for their order. Once they told her what they wanted, they turned back to each other. Grev tapped his figure slightly against the table, while Kara looked around.

“What happened to you yesterday?” Grev asked and Kara turned to him.

“Vartox took me to an abandoned building before the DEO-”

“I’ve heard of them. Kara, you should be careful around them. They take aliens and lock them up. I knew a Thanagarian they captured. A refugee, just like us. They don’t care who you are. If you’re not human, they take you,” Grev said, worry in his eyes.

“I always wondered about that,” Kara muttered, unhappy to realize she was right, before raising her voice, “They wanted my help to fight against the Fort Rozz escapees.”

“What did you say?” Grev asked.

“I told them no,” Kara told him.

“You did?” Grev asked, surprised.

Kara laughed slightly, “I know Superman like’s doing the hero thing, but that… that isn’t me,” Kara said.

“And they let you go?” Grev asked.

“I didn’t give them a choice,” Kara said.

Grev nodded as their food and drinks arrived. They ate in silence as both species weren’t social eaters like humans. Why spend the time you’re supposed to eat, talking?

Grev finished first and excused himself to the bathroom. Kara nodded and continued her food.

She wiped her mouth just as Non sat across from her.

Kara looked at the ghost in front of her, her eyes roaming to look for bruises she knew she wouldn’t find. She then turned to his face. He didn’t look at her with suspicion or hatred. He didn’t look like he was going to snap her neck… but he also didn’t look like he wanted to pet her hair and ask if she was alright.

He looked…

Unsure.

“Hello Non,” Kara said like she had just spoken to him the day before.

“You believe I’m alive?” Non asked.

“No,” Kara said, “But that doesn’t mean we haven’t talked since Krypton’s destruction.”

Non frowned, his eyebrows pulling together as he tilted his head to the side, “Have we talked before.”

“Of course,” Kara said nodding, “Just month or so ago you taught me to dance.”

Non was silent for a few moments, “You have lost the ability to tell reality from dream.”

Kara laughed, “No. I know what’s real. And this isn’t it… none of this is real. This is a dream as I lay dying… do you know what that feels like? Dying?”

“Yes,” Non told her and for a moment Kara tries to cast her mind back to an incident where Non almost died, but nothing came to her…

Was Non going through these loops with her? Did that mean this was real?

“What do you think of my hands?” Kara asked, lifting her hands and wiggling her fingers.

Non looked at her like she was crazy.

Maybe she was. With her thinking these dreams were real.

“It’s cold,” Kara said as she lowered her hands, “You can’t think and everything screams at you to keep awake. Then you hear singing and you just… let go.”

“Singing?” Non asked.

**‘Would you sing to someone if they were dying?’ Kara asked Non as they finished training in the red room, music still in the background.**

**‘No,’ Non told her.**

**Oh. Well, that’s a lie.**

**‘If you did,’ Kara said and Non looked at her like she was asking stupid questions, ‘Why would you?’**

**‘Is this person an enemy, an ally, or a loved one?’ Non asked.**

**Good question. Just what did Non see her as? Was she an enemy or just a young child needed to be punished for doing something foolish?**

**‘One and three,’ Kara said at the end, not sure how else to describe it. She didn’t doubt that Non cared for her.**

**‘Ah. That makes sense,’ Non said before tilting his head, ‘Are you asking if I would sing to you if you were working for the DEO and I killed you?’**

**‘I remember you singing to me as a child,’ Kara said.**

**‘In that situation, yes. I would sing to you,’ Non told her.**

**‘Why?’ Kara asked.**

**‘To ease you towards Rao’s Light,’ Non told her and started walking to the door.**

**‘Non,’ Kara called, sitting on the ground. Non stopped and turned to her, ‘What song would you sing?’**

**Non’s mouth twitched and he shook his head, ‘I will see you tomorrow Kara,’ he said and walked out the door.**

**Boo. She really wanted to know the song.**

“How do you know that song?” Non asked her. His voice was close, like he was just in front of her. Kara looked up and realized she wasn’t back at Fort Rozz.

“What song?” Kara asked as the singing disappeared. Non looked… horrified.

“The one you are singing girl- you shouldn’t know that song,” Non told her.

“Oh,” Kara said and looked away. She could see everyone was tense. Like they expected Non to go crazy and kill everyone.

“What’s going on here?” Grev asked, in his hand the gun he normally kept camouflaged. He was pointing it at Non.

Or was it Not-Non? Honestly, Kara wasn’t sure. Each time she met with Non he was different, never the same. He had so many sides to him and Kara wondered which one was really him. He was like an onion. Every time she sees him she pulling away another layer. What will she find at the center?

(Was it the Solider? ‘You have 48 hours or your man dies.’ Was it Savior? ‘The human race has a chance to live!’ Was it the Teacher? ‘Everything around you is a weapon. The dirt beneath your feet. The Air above you.’ Was it the Murderer? ‘Just throw that somewhere we can’t smell it.’ Or was it…the man holding her as she dies?)

“Grev,” Kara said, turning to him.

“Who is this, Kara?” Grev asked her.

Kara turned back to Non, who was staring at Grev intensely, “Just a ghost.”

Non looks at her and snorts, “You have lost your mind.”

Kara smiled, “Crazy Star in the sky. She kicks and pounds and screams ‘Why’. Keep away, for she can’t tell, The difference between a ghost, and those she loves most.”

Non shakes his head and stands up, walking away. Grev waits till he walks out the door completely before putting his gun away.

Kara watches as the soldier across from her slid into his seat and-

How did Non know where she was? How did he know about this place? He shouldn’t even know this place existed. The only way he could is if he remembered it form the first dream… from the first loop she went through... but if he did then-

Could- Could this be real?

0000

Kara danced around the fire she made on the roof of her building. She closed her eyes as her body automatically followed the dance Non taught her. It felt weird in her jeans and t-shirt, but that didn’t really hold her back. She stopped suddenly when she heard someone cry out. Her body jerked towards the sound before she stopped herself.

Her heart pound and she could feel her breath shorten. What if this was real? What if all these people were real? She then left all these people on their own…

“Kara,” Alex called as she walked onto the roof. Kara tilted her head before turning to the woman, blocking out the world around her.

“Alex,” Kara said and moved to the small fire. Alex walked towards her, stopping when she stood next to her. She pushed her hands forward, warming them on the fire.

“What are you doing here?” Kara asked.

“I wanted to give you this,” Alex said, handing her a box with Kara’s mother’s recording, “I wanted to give it to you yesterday, but-”

“I’m sorry-” (Alex’s eyes widen and the look of horror appears on her face as Kara puts the blade to her neck. She screams, reaching out to Kara. She’ll save me. Kara knew that. But she didn’t deserve to be saved. Quickly she takes the knife and plunges into her neck.), “-I wasn’t really myself yesterday-” Lie. She meant every word she said, but she hates seeing that horror on Alex’s face, “-I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes you did,” Alex said and looked down, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, “I’m sorry I never realized that this was just getting harder and harder for you.”

“It’s not your fault. You don’t know,” Kara said. Alex didn’t know about the dreams-loops. Nor would she really understand.

“But I know now,” Alex said.

“And?” Kara asked.

“… I don’t know what to say to you,” Alex said.

Kara stares at Alex-

(She feels the bone breaks so easily under her hand. It was easier than snapping a pencil. She threw the waste of space to the floor watching as the helmet flew off. For a moment she wanted to laugh at the frozen expression on the face- Alex. Anger ebbs away and fear takes its place. She crawls over to her sister and lifts her into her arms. The fear is there as she shakes and screams before Hate takes its place. Hate- not for Lane or Clark or the DEO, but for her. For Kara…she hated herself)

-and see’s her dead again. Maybe not physically, but in every other way… Alex was dead.

Kara looked at the fire and knew- knew this was a dream.

Because she didn’t want this to be real.

0000

Reactron doesn’t attack National City. Kara, instead, watches as he fights with Superman again, neither winning. Kara knew Clark was strong enough to stop him, but his need to protect, his need to repress his powers stops him.

Maxwell Lord doesn’t plant bombs around the city, for there was no one to test. The train launches and there’s nothing to destroy the rail. He is praised for his invention and he has no rude words for the Alien he doesn’t even know about.

Carter is quiet. More so then he is in the real world. Kara tried to talk to him about Superman, assuming he was a fan of the Man of Steel like he was of the Maiden of Might… but that wasn’t so.

Kara wonders if it was him having with such a powerful woman as a mother that makes him prefer the female hero to the male one. Or was it that she was in his city or that he saw her start and could follow her achievements? Or was it simply the fact that he admired her?

Not-lucy comes back and she gets back together with Not-James.

She and Not-James aren’t friends. They might say a few words to each other at work, but they don’t do friend things and they don’t spend time with each other.

The earthquake hits the city and she concentrates on the people in the building. The next day the death toll is… huge. Kara hesitates as she reads the number… wondering if she did the right thing.

Not-Winn quits.

0000

Kara stood on the balcony of CatCo while Cat took her lunch. Kara didn’t really feel like leaving the building, but knew she just needed a few moments to herself. She stared at the ground, watched the humans walk around, looking like ants…

The door opens behind her and for a moment she thinks it’s Not-Winn before remembering he was gone. One morning she walked into work and Cat tells her to go through the CVs to find a new IT boy. She looks over at Not-Winn’s desk and he’s not there. His toys are gone and the extra screen he brought is missing and-

It hurts.

“Hey Kara,” Not-James said from behind as he closed the door.

“Hello James,” Kara said. Not-James opened his mouth to say something when a siren came from the streets below. Kara looked down, watching firefighters speed towards a fire.

“Aren’t you going to help?” Not-James asked and Kara laughed slightly, “That isn’t funny.”

“No… what’s funny is I was wondering when you were going to confront me,” Kara said.

“You knew,” Not-James said.

“That you knew? Yes,” Kara said and closed her eyes, just feeling the wind on her face.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Not-James asked her.

“Why didn’t you?” Kara countered before smiling, no joy on her face, “Or were you waiting for me to dress up like a clown.”

“It’s not a-” Not-James stops, and takes a deep breath. He then looks her in the eyes and says in the most serious, most accusing voice, “You’re nothing like Superman.”

Kara laughed. And laughed. And laughed till she cried.

The stopped suddenly.

“I don’t care,” Kara told him and turned away again.

“You don’t care?” Not-James repeats, shock in his voice, jerking back as he does.

“Yes,” Kara tells him and turns her back on the humans below her.

“How could you not care? People need you!” Not-James half yells, mindful of their co-workers on the other side of the glass walls, “You have a responsibility-”

“To who?” Kara asks, interrupting.

“To the people-” Not-James starts before Kara interrupts him again.

“Why?”

Her voice was soft and the word fits her lips for the first time. They form the word perfectly as the rest of her was still. Not-James goes quiet like she screamed the word instead of whispering it.

“What do you mean?” Not-James asked.

“Why do I have a responsibility to the people? Why do I have to save them?” Kara asks- Or was Astra? Or maybe even Non.

“You have all these powers-”

“And you have full control of all your body. You’re fit and able. Why aren’t you running around to save people?” Kara asked him.

“That’s different-”

“Why? Because I’m an alien?” Kara asked and walk- no, prowled towards him, “When was it decided that every alien that comes to your planet has to play messiah to humans.”

“Humans?” Not-James asked stepping back, “humans took you in!”

“Congratulations,” Kara said, her voice hard, “You took in a thirteen-year-old. Someone who had no way to take care of herself on a foreign planet. Instead of closing your doors you fed her and clothed her… you acted like she was a person that deserves to live and had a ‘humanity’ to ensure she does… do you want a metal?”

“Kara. I didn’t mean-”

“That I am supposed to repay your ‘generosity’?” Kara asked as she walked closer to him, “Is that what your parents expected? That you should pay back every cent they ever spent on you?”

“No-”

“They why am I?” Kara asked as Not-James’s back hit the glass wall, “I do not owe this planet or it’s people anything. Me using my powers is not price I have to pay to live here…Is not the price I have to pay to be alive.”

KaraAstraNon stared at him and finally understood, “I don’t _need_ to save people. I have no obligation to do so. If I _want_ to, that is my choice… you can’t take that from me and I wouldn’t let you,” Kara looks him straight in the eyes and hisses, “It doesn’t matter if this is real or a dream, you have no right to take that decision from me.”

Kara grabs his arm and pulls him from the glass door. She opens it and walks back into the open offices. Several people were staring at her, but she paid them no mind.

She… she had a choice.

0000

Red Tornado stands in front of Kara.

She knew Clark had fought the android, that Lane had forced him to do it, but why… why was it here?

It didn’t move. All it did was stare at her. Around her people were running away, afraid. A few watched her, pulling out their phones to record the incident.

For a moment she thinks Lane is around and she wants to scream. She wants to step aside and allow the android to kill him-

(Red Tornado powers up again. She knows T.O. Morrow is dead. She listened as Alex’s heart slows before pulling the trigger. She wonders if Alex had to go through training to do that- no, to prepare for in case she ever had to do that… wonders if her sister will still be that same afterward.

But now there was a self-aware android in front of her. The question was… just how self-aware was it-

She doesn’t have time to think as it attacks her again. She uses her painsorrowangerhoplessness and defeats it.)

Now… now Kara has more time to wonder.

She remembers Indigo, a data-based organic. She was alive…

Was this android? Did Morrow accidentally create an A.I.?

(They call the hologram of her mother an A.I, but Kara knew that was wrong. It reacted to its programming, never showing feeling or reactions of any kind. She has to stop herself from begging and pleading with it to react…)

Red Tornado… could it think for itself?

Superman appears and tackles the android. She feels someone grab her arm and pull her away. She watches as Clark fights the, possibly alive, being and she can’t tear her eyes from the scene.

Did it matter though? Did it matter that something could be alive if everything wasn’t?

0000

Lord Industries isn’t attacked.

Kara wonders if the attack was merely to allow Non to capture someone to trade for Astra. But why did Astra allow herself to be captured? To recruit Kara? Or was it a distraction as the other kryptonians readied something?

Max said in the real world that something was left in his building. That the attack was just a distraction while they planted something in the servers.

Winn found it silly when he found out. Said that it would have been better to plant everything without drawing attention to themselves. That the kryptonians made it easy for the DEO to stop them since they know where to look.

But why were they being so covert here?

0000

Toyman escapes jail and Kara sits and wonders what she should do. Should she go to Not-Winn? Should she help him?

Would it matter? The real Winn was probably already dead.

Yet… She finds herself standing outside Not-Winn’s apartment, hand razed to knock on the door.

She had to have stood there for hours… it sure felt like it.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Kara lowers her hand and waits. She pulls her glasses down slightly and watches a Not-Winn walks to the doo-

His father was in the apartment.

Kara doesn’t have a chance to react before Not-Winn opens the door.

“Kara,” Not-Winn said, pain in his voice. But there was something else as well. Something… dark.

“Hey Winn,” Kara said.

“Why are you here?” Not-Winn asked, hiding most of the apartment from her view. She could hear that Toyman had something in his hands, a gun most probably.

“I heard what happened on the news. I wanted to come see if you’re alright,” Kara said, the lie tasting horrible in her mouth.

“Is that what it takes?” Not-Winn asked, his voice steel.

“I’m sorry?” Kara said, surprised at the darkness in his voice.

“You said I was important to you. That you don’t know what you would do without me, but this is the first time we’ve seen each other in months,” Not-Winn tells her.

Oh.

Kara hadn’t even really realized the time was going so fast.

It wasn’t like she had many things going on in her life. Without the DEO and Supergirl, her time was pretty open…

Where did the time go?

“I’m sorry,” Kara said again.

“I don’t want to hear it, Kara,” Not-Winn said, “Please leave.”

Kara looked away as Not-Winn backed away and started to close the door. Say something! She screamed at herself.

“You’re not your father,” Kara said suddenly and Not-Winn pauses.

“What?” Not-Winn asked, sounding like himself again.

“You’re not your father,” Kara repeated, “You have choices, Winn. You don’t have to be him. I don’t believe you’re anything like him.”

Not-Winn looks at her before looking at something in the apartment. Kara could hear the older man walk towards the door, moving to shoot her.

“You should leave,” Not-Winn said, desperation in his voice.

Kara nods.

(She should stay. Break Toyman’s neck and tell Not-Winn everything. She should stop whatever he’s doing to Not-Winn, whatever he’s convincing Not-Winn to do… but)

“I’ll try harder this time,” Kara said as she backs away from the apartment, “I meant what I said. You mean so much to me Winn… I don’t want you to leave.”

Kara walks way and knows… it wasn’t enough.

(She sees the report the next day. Both Not-Winn and Toyman are taken into custody. They will both serve life sentences. Kara wonders if she could visit Not-Winn in prison and moves to find out where he was.

He wouldn’t see her the first few days, but eventually, he sits across from her and she tells him about her day…

It hurts differently now.)

0000

“Why are we here?” Kara asked Grev as they stood in the crowd of the Anti-Alien rally. She was surprised it still happened, but she shouldn’t be. People… humans were so against anything that weren’t like them… weren’t normal.

“We’re not the only ones here,” Grev said, his hand resting on his hip, near his gun. Kara looks around them and sees many aliens using transmits. They all stared at the woman talking down at them in pain and horror…

Was this what refugees had to go through? The uncertainty of existence? Kara knew she was lucky. Lucky to look like a human on the outside. Lucky that she never got sick that she wouldn’t be examined by a human doctor, and then revealed to be alien.

How many of them died because they couldn’t seek out medical care? 

How many were hunted because of just how they looked?

How many lived years on the streets, begging for food and praying for a chance to live- to survive?

How many still do?

Kara looked back at Senator Miranda Crane. The two of them were never friends, but they learned to see the situations from each other’s point of view.

For Miranda, all these aliens that could arrive on earth were technically more advanced than humans. They had the potential to be dangerous. The humans didn’t know what they were capable of. Didn’t know the things that could cause them to become so enraged that they would hurt humans. It wasn’t just their looks, but their way of life that humans feared.

(Kara wonders how to explain to Lucy why she hid. Why she abandoned everything she knew to pretend to be human… but it was hard. Humans are known throughout their history for attacking and destroying that which was different. They watch films and read books about alien invaders, believe so deeply that anyone not human will want to hurt them. Even still they reject those who are different, whether by religion, skin color, traditions, sexual preference or even something as simple as gender… how could they accept Kara Zor-El?)

Kara tells the older woman what it like being a refugee… being an outsider. She tells her about hiding and the fear. She tells her about how she only wanted to belong and that for most aliens that was the same for them. She tells her how it didn’t matter what people looked like or what they believe in, everyone just wants to survive, to live…

Now she wonders if she had the right to even explain the trials of being an alien on earth.

She never went through what other aliens did….

Not even what the Fort Rozz inmates went through. Years in the phantom zone, awake… punished- no, tortured by their captives… and then years on earth, no human family to care for them… exiled to a planet that would hunt them down for just what they were.

No… Kara didn’t know anything about being an alien on Earth.

And now she never would.

The rally ends without incident and she curls into herself as the humans talk about hunting down the ‘freaks’. Grev pulls her to other aliens and they all head to the bar.

She sits as all these aliens, none of them wearing their transmits, talk about what they could do to survive. Parents want to take their children out of school. Many want to leave. Some, a few, want to fight back, show they humans who the real monsters where.

Kara knew she was a monster… she was just like the humans. She helped the DEO hunt down aliens in the real world. She didn’t care for them or protect them… she didn’t deserve to sit here and listen as they crowed around loved ones in fear, in courage…

“There has to be something we can do that doesn’t involve war!” one cry’s out, but Kara knew there was nothing.

“Earth is a class 3 planet by intergalactic standards,” Kara says without realizing it and people turn to her, “By that definition, any off-worlder on the planet is here at our own risk… humans don’t even have a Green Lantern… there’s nothing that can be done.”

“There has to be a way to raise the class,” one says to her and Kara tilts her head, trying desperately to remember what classifies as a Class 4 planet. She knew class 5 was a planet that accepts and grants citizenship to aliens. There, they don’t have to wear transmits and pretend to be that local species… but class 4?

“Class 3 means that the planet had had no contact with off-world species. While some do live on the planet, the local species don’t know they exist… a Class 4 is when the planet recognizes that ‘aliens’ exist and that they are on the planet,” Kara says, her eyes closed as she thought hard, “By legal right, by the mere fact that the rally even exists means we can petition to have the classification raised in intergalactic records. By law, the planet will have a Green Lantern assigned and a task force to protect everyone that isn’t locally from the planet.”

“How can we do that?” a dark-skinned woman who looked human asked.

“I know the petition can only be presented by someone that’s part of the council, but how to get it to a council member is not something I know,” Kara said, “I don’t even know who is part of the council.”

“How do you know so much?” the feline waitress asked.

Kara swallowed, “My name is Kara-El, heir to the house of El… The Head of the House of El was appointed the spokesmen of Krypton on the Intergalactic Council… had Krypton survived I would have taken the seat.”

“Wouldn’t the Kryptonians still have a seat?” one alien asked.

“I don’t know,” Kara said, shaking her head, “I know we had a few settlements on other worlds, and a few exploratory vessels that weren’t on Krypton when it exploded, but I don’t know if kryptonians still have a seat.”

“Is there a way to find out,” a mother asked, holding her baby to her chest.

“I don’t-” Kara stared, but a few off-worlders came closer to her.

“You have to find out,” the woman’s mate said.

“I’m not-”

“We’re dying… and if the humans have their way they would execute us all, including you,” another alien said, “Don’t think you’re safe just because of Superman.”

“That’s enough! All of you. Move away from her,” the dark-skinned woman from before said as she moved towards Kara, shooing the others, “She’s given us more than useless ramblings and demands. She said she doesn’t know, but I’m sure she’s willing to find out… aren’t you?”

The woman turns to her and Kara swallows again. She looks around the room and sees… not-ghosts.

She sees worried parents. She sees people that have lost everything. She sees people that are scared.

“Yes,” is all Kara could say as Grev squeezed her hand. She could see the visible relief flow through every person in the room and for the first time, Kara wonders if Supergirl really was gone.

The off-worlders disperse as the woman brings her and Grev drinks, “Sorry about putting you on the spot like that… I’m M’ggan.”

“Kara- as I already said,” Kara said, realizing it was stupid to reintroduce herself.

“They’re scared,” M’ggan tried to explain, “Please don’t hold things against them.”

“I don’t,” Kara said, “I don’t know what they went through… I had it easy.”

“No,” M’ggan said suddenly and Kara looked the older woman in the face, “You had it easier, but you lived with some of the same fears everyone here has… just because it wasn’t _as bad_ , doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard for you.”

“I… thank you,” Kara said and M’ggan smiled, heading back to the bar counter.

“Are you ok?” Grev asked and Kara looks at his dark blue skin. She raises a hand to stroke his face and knows…

It didn’t matter that this wasn’t real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered about the other Aliens, and even the Fort Rozz criminals. They are basically illegal immigrant, with the added bonus of looking different. Do human medicines even work on them? How does the hidden society work?  
> Also: OOOO, something is going on with Non. What could it be?  
> (I know, you don't)


	8. The Death of Supergirl Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life goes on, the Green Lanterns arrive and so does Barry.  
> Karry finally finds out if the world is a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Death of Supergirl Part 4  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of torcher + Major Character Death + Suicide and Minor Description of Rape  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback  
> RAPE!!!  
> Needed to get your attention. Minor description of rape at the end of the chapter.  
> 00000

Timeline 34

 “I never really thought about the other aliens on the planet,” Clark said on the other side of the phone

“Me neither,” Kara told him, “I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t been there… they were so scared."

“We had it so easy… I mean I didn’t even know I was an alien till Ma and Pa told me when I was 18… I thought I was just… a freak,” Clark ends and Kara feels bad for him.

“I’m sorry,” the words slip out and don’t stop, “I should have been there for you… I should have raised you… brought you up on the history of our people. Maybe then we wouldn't have felt so alone.”

“It’s not your fault Kara,” Clark said, something strange in his voice, “Do you ever think about it? What we would have been like if you were there for me? What kind of people would have been?”

“I… I don’t know… maybe we would have acted more like Kryptonians… maybe we would be the same,” Kara told him.

“Maybe you would have been Superwoman,” Clark said.

“You’re mad at me,” Kara said.

“No, I just- I just don’t understand why you don’t want to use your powers to help people,” Clark said.

Because it wasn’t any use to save people that weren’t real. That ghosts don’t have lives… so why try to help the off-worlders?

“Because I don’t want them to see me like they see you,” Kara said, “Like some god.”

“I never wanted that,” Clark tells her, his voice hard. It was like he’s said something similar so many times that to say it again was… tiring. Who did he say it to? Lex?

“No one did,” Kara said and Clark suddenly goes quiet.

“Send me the proof for the rise in Classification and I’ll send it to the Council,” Clark said, suddenly changing the subject.

Kara wants to push… wanted to know why Clark was so distant.

She also wants to demand why he never cared for her… why he was never there for her, but the words get stuck in her throat.

“I will,” Kara says instead and they say their goodbyes.

Kara turns off her phone and turns to the news. A tram car had broken and fallen to the ground, killing everyone that was inside. Kara tilts her head, remembering standing across the woman that looked so much like her… she never found out what Bizzaro was.

Alien? An experiment? A clone?

What had Maxwell Lord done to that poor girl?

Kara shakes her head and turns off the TV, heading to bed.

0000

She never sends the letter to Adam. Cat never gets angry at her and Siobhan never gets hired.

Non never send the Black Mercy to her and she never gets trapped on Krypton.

Astra is alive and Kara get confirmation that the Intergalactic Council is sending a Green Lantern to earth. She wonders what they will do when they see Fort Rozz and find out about the DEO.

(Indigo appears on the TV and Kara wonders who will stop her. She doesn’t have long to wait before several Green Lanterns arrive to take care of not only Indigo, but to round up every Fort Rozz Criminal.

She sits at her desk, watching a Kryptonian Green Lantern fight against Astra and wonders if this would have been the better option in the real world.

Or were things only going well because this was a dream?)

She never gets infected by Red Kryptonite, but J’onn is revealed by the Green Lanterns. He and Alex still disappear and she doesn’t get any reason to why.

At least not one she wants.

0000

General Lane enters the building and walks towards her. Kara feels her heart race and her fists clench. Her blood runs cold and her body vibrates, begging to wrap her hand around his neck and just snap it.

“Kara Danvers?” General Lane said, taking off his hat and holding out his hand.

“Yes?” Kara said standing up and forcing herself to relax as she too holds out her hand.

“General Sam Lane,” Lane said as they shake hands.

(Kara doesn’t hesitate before shoving her hand through his chest. She can’t stand killing the inmates that attack her. Those who have committed atrocious acts, but this human… she can’t leave him to live. Even if she has to kill him a thousand times over… she would.)

“Can I help you, General?” Kara asked. She could see he was getting uncomfortable as she stared at him without blinking. She knew she was willing to defend herself if she had too, secret identity be damned.

“I’m looking for your sister, Alexandra Danvers,” Lane said.

“I’m sorry General, but I haven’t spoken to my sister since a week ago,” Kara said, desperate to step away from the man. She feels pressure on her hand and realizes she’s rubbing her fingers.

(She breaths deeply through her nose. She wants to blink as her sight becomes blurry, but forces herself not to. She wants to tear his heart out, but knew it wasn’t any use. This was a dream-

No, it wasn’t. She wouldn’t feel like this if it wasn’t real-

It was a dream. All of it was. She was never taken by the DEO. She never killed her sister. She never left Non to Astra’s ‘mercy’. She never… She never abandoned the people of the city. Not willingly.)

“Did she say where she was going?” Lane asked her.

“Alex said she was going to the North Pole for experiments and such and that I wouldn’t hear from her for a few months,” Kara told him.

“I see,” Lane said, looking at her like he was trying to find out if she was lying.

“May I ask why you are looking for my sister?” Kara asked.

“I hate to inform you Miss Danvers, but your sister has been declared an enemy of the state,” Lane told her and several people start to whisper around her.

“I don’t understand,” Kara told him.

“Alex Danvers had willingly made decisions that have endangered millions of people. She made these choices knowing full well of the consequences,” Lane told her.

A lie? Or just his version of the truth? Lane was stubborn. He believed what he did and nothing was going to change his mind.

“I- I’m not sure what to say,” Kara said, pretending to be shocked and horrified.

“I understand. All I ask is that you contact me if you do hear from her again,” Lane said handing her a card, “Your sister is dangerous and if she and her accomplice isn’t found people will die.”

“Of course, I understand. It’s just… you’ll help her? Wouldn’t you? When you capture her?” Kara asked, pretending to agree with the man in front of her.

“That’s the plan,” Lane lied to her face.

Kara (fake) smiled sadly,” Thank you, General.”

Lane nods and leaves. Kara watches him go and all expression falls from her face…

She will protect Alex.

0000

Kara looks down at the sleeping man, surprised at how easy it was to break into his home. Did he think no one would? Just because he lived on an army base?

How foolish.

Kara was tempted to wake him. To make sure he was conscious before she killed him, but knew she couldn’t risk being discovered.

She reaches out to Lane’s neck, her hand covered in a glove. She grasps it quickly and snaps it before he could even fully wake.

She knew his body would be discovered early the next day, but didn’t care.

She will protect Alex… no matter what.

0000

Lucy takes a few days off to deal with the Funeral arrangements. She watches the funeral from miles away. Lucy and Lois standing next to each other. Clark next to Lois while James was next to Lucy. Each man had their fiancés in their arms.

Kara turns and walks away, making sure Clark didn’t see her. She didn’t need him suspecting anything.

0000

Barry arrives and Kara almost doesn’t go to him.

Almost.

00000

Kara hovers in the air as Barry runs around the city. She was waiting for him to stop before confronting him.

**‘I have traveled through time by accident-’**

She sees him stop in an alley way and lands next to him, making as much noise as she could. He reacts, his body twitching into a fighting stands.

“How did you do that?” Barry asked.

“I’m an alien,” Kara tells him as she walks closer. He’s suspicious and backs away.

“You’re an alien?” Barry asked, obviously not believing her. Kara activates her heat vision and shoots towards an area near him.

He speeds away, and Kara immediately pushes her power into her own speed. She sees him move to the side as everything else slows down. Sounds stretch out and some are so slow they almost disappear into the ambiance. She turns with him as he runs and she can tell he can see her move at the same speed as him.

He stops on the opposite side of her and just stares at her. He’s still suspicious, but maybe he would be able to believe her… whether this was real or a dream.

“Your name is Barry Allen, also known as the Flash and you’re on the wrong earth,” Kara tells him.

“How could you know that?” Barry asked.

“I know because this isn’t real. This is a dream as I lay to my death. We meet in the real world. And I helped you get home,” Kara tells him.

“This isn’t real?” Barry asked and something in her voice made him lose his tension.

“Yes,” Kara said and stepped closer.

“How could you know?” Barry asked.

“Because… if this is real I’m traveling through time. A loop. Putting me back at the ‘start’ every time I die,” Kara said.

“I’ve traveled through time,” Barry says, slightly unhelpfully.

Kara feels stupid for telling him this. Telling him this ridicules belief that she’s really living through everything over and over again. Because it could-

“What’s that song your singing?” Barry asked and Kara hesitates.

“It’s the song someone sang to me the first time I died…” Kara tells him.

How many people have told her she was singing when she was ‘sure’ it was Non singing to her?

“Because this can’t be real… I don’t want it to be real,” Kara tells him.

No… she really didn’t want this to be real. Because if it was real that means she was a murderer. She was a monster. She was a victim… and she could fix everything.

Over. And Over. And Over.

A never-ending loop. One she was stuck in and she didn’t even know how.

“If you have traveled through time there would be a temporal energy around you,” Barry said and walked over to her. She looked up…

When did she fall to her knees? When did she start crying?

“How- How do we find out?” Kara asked.

“There are machines that could detect it-”

“The Fortress,” Kara said.

“The Fortress?” Barry asked.

“A place where some of my planet’s technology is,” Kara said and stood up.

“Ok. Which way?” Barry said.

He was very trusting.

Kara tilted her head and smiled. She watched as Barry backed away. Before he could even think about activating his speed, she grabbed him and flew into the sky.

“Where are we going?” Barry screamed over the air as he gripped her neck tightly.

“The artic,” Kara screamed back.

“What!”

0000

Kara handed Barry some food as Kelex reconfigured one of the sensors to detect temporal energy.

Why hadn’t she thought about doing this earlier?

Was she so determined to live a lie?

“This place is awesome,” Barry said.

“Yeah,” Kara agreed as she looked around.

“Did your whole planet look like this?” Barry asked and Kara laughed.

“No. Most of the structure looks like this because it’s built from ice properties,” Kara told him, “Krypton was… high buildings and ships flying through the air. Much of my planet’s forests and wildlife were gone… our wars made sure of that... The sun was red and just as it started to rise everything was bathed in a blanket of dark red. The Blood Glow we called it…”

“You miss it,” Barry said.

“Yeah,” Kara agreed as she played with the edge of her skirt, determined to not look at Barry.

“Lady Kara,” Kelex called to get her attention, “The scanner is ready.”

Kara nodded and went to stand on a circle on the ground. Kelex activated the scanner and Kara closed her eyes, begging-

For what?

“Scan complete,” Kelex said and Kara stayed still for a few more moments, her eyes shut tight. She didn’t want to see the screen, see… the truth.

“Kara?” Barry’s voice pierced through. Sad-Pity-That wishing something wasn’t true…

Kara opened her eyes and looked.

TEMPORAL ENERGY DETECTED

Kara felt the smack of her knees hitting the floor. Her spine grew weak and she had to bend over, her arms around her stomach as it rumbled, bile rising to her mouth.

She killed her.

She killed Alex.

She willingly wrapped her hand around her sister’s, her soulmate’s, neck and broke it.

She killed Maxwell.

She killed Lane. (And… she knew if she could, she will kill Lane again.)

She left Non to his fate with Astra as she stayed under the influence of Red Kryptonite.

She stood in front her sister and killed herself-

She killed herself

Over. And over. And over.

And then she left everyone around her to die.

“Kara!” Barry yelled over this strange loud noise. He grabbed her hands, trying to pry them from her hair, “Kara you have to calm down!”

Why?

She was a monster.

Lane was right.

He was always right.

He-

0000

Kara opened her eyes, looking at the metal ceiling above her. Whatever she was laying on was hard, metal and her arms and legs were bolted down. The loud sound was gone and red light was all around her…

“Help,” Kara begged, her voice croaking and weak. She coughed as someone came towards her.

It was Barry, Kara realized as he appeared above her.

“Hey. How you feeling?” Barry asked her.

“Help,” Kara begged again.

“Let’s get these off you,” Barry said and moved out of her sight.

Kara felt tears form in her eyes as she pushed her limbs against the cold metal. Please. She didn’t want to be restrained.

The restraints snapped open and Kara rolled of the bedtable and onto the floor. She laid there for a few moments, allowing the cold the soak through her body.

“Kara?” Barry said as he walked closer, but Kara didn’t get up.

“I didn’t want it to be real,” Kara muttered.

“How- How many times have you gone through this?” Barry whispered as he laid down next to her, turning his head towards her.

“I- Too many,” Kara told him, only a half-truth. This was only the third time she’s seen Barry-

**Lane holds up a tablet to her after they strapped her into a chair. Her arms, her legs, and even her head were restrained to the chair and a green light overhead to complete it. She wants to close her eyes, but two soldiers were keeping them open, their fingers covered in liquid kryptonite.**

**“Do you know this man?” Lane asks her and she sees Barry on the screen. Like her, he was strapped into a chair…**

**One he could get out off.**

**Kara laughed. She was saved.**

**She was saved.**

**(She doesn’t tell them anything and Barry escapes. They have his blood, can make more of him, but… he’s gone. He’s gone and Kara was still there.)**

-and only the second time she’s ever spoken to him.

But… she’s died- no, she’s killed herself so many times…

“I killed my sister,” Kara tells him suddenly, “I was- I was angry… so angry. I had just met the man who tortured me for months in another timeline... he made me into the monster I always should have been and I lost control… I killed her- I still- I still feel her neck snap under my hand and- and I couldn’t live with myself… so I- So I ended it. And ended it. And ended it. Over and over again…”

“You stopped wanting to believe it was real,” Barry said.

“Yes… because if it wasn’t then she was alive… there was a chance J’onn could save her and… I didn’t want… I just didn’t want,” Kara said as she curled her fingers over the ice.

“It’s not your fault-” Barry started, but Kara pushed herself to her knees and sat back on them. Barry pulled the top of his body forward, sitting up as well.

“It is my fault… I left people to die… I stopped being Supergirl because I thought none of it was real. I’m a murderer, a monster-”

“Hey no. If you were a monster, you wouldn’t feel bad about what you did. You’d think what you did was right-”

“But I did think it was right,” Kara interrupted, “I didn’t care because I thought they weren’t real, that it didn’t matter if I left them- Please, I didn’t know!”

“Kara no. There’s a big difference between not knowing and thinking it was right, especially in this situation,” Barry said, “You weren’t… you were sick and it made you believe that everything was a lie-”

“I left him alone,” Kara muttered to herself, “Left him to be abused and killed by Astra…”

“-The question now is… what are you going to do?” Barry asked and Kara looked at him.

“What?” Kara asked.

“Are you going to continue thinking it doesn’t matter?” Barry asked.

“I-

**‘Because each of them has a life. Each of them has a fear and a joy. Each of them has something that makes them smile and laugh till there are tears running down their face in happiness. Each has a fear, something that keeps them up at night… that makes their hearts pound and cause them to beg and pray even when they don’t believe. Because they have someone they wish the best for and they have a dream to strive for…’**

“I’m going to be Supergirl,” Kara told him and looked him in the eye, “I will never forgive myself for what I did… I can’t… but I will spend every moment I can to fix what I broke.”

Barry looked at her- Was it her he was seeing? Or was it someone else?

“You remind me of someone,” Barry said and stood up, holding out his hand to her.

Kara looked at the hand-

_(There was once a man that became blind and deaf. From that day people did everything they could to help him, but he always refused their help. Slowly, he started to chase everyone away from him._

_One day he went out for a walk.  Normally there would be someone with him, but not this time. They were angry with him and they all said behind their hands ‘Good. I hope something bad happens to him.’_

_He was gone for days when one man, a man who truly hated the other man, realized the injured man was still gone. So he went out to look for him. He looked everywhere when he came across a hole in the ground. He looked down, thinking the man might have fallen in. And he was right._

_The man had fallen in, but had started to climb out. He was very close to the top when he stopped, believing he couldn’t go on. The man gripped the stones and started to pray for death. The other man, the one that came to look for the first one looked down and thought ‘He is so close to the top… why doesn’t he climb out?’ But since the man was blind he couldn’t see where the top was. So the man kneed down and stretched his hand down, fingers almost brushing the other man’s hands. He called out to the man, yelling at him to grab his hands, but he couldn’t hear him._

_Did the man make it out of the hole, Mother?_

_That depends on the person who’s in the hole, Kara. If he still believed there was someone there. If he still believed he deserved to be saved, to live, he will reach out and find the hand. But if he stays in his despair… he never will._

_What if you’re the other man, the man holding out his hand?_

_Then my little Star… you keep holding your hand out. You keep calling out. Because one day that person might just believe… and if you’re not there, they will lose hope.)_

-and grabbed it, allowing Barry to pull her to her feet.

“Is it a good someone?” Kara asked, trying to smile-

When was the last time she really smiled?

“He had his dark times, but yes, he’s a good man,” Barry said, a smile on his face, but his eyes sad, “He wouldn’t forgive himself either.”

Kara smiled sadly.

She couldn’t- She wouldn’t forgive herself. Not when she still wants to kill Lane. Not when she still wants to take a knife to her throat. Not when she still remembers the look of horror on Alex’s face when she dies. Not when she still sees the empty look in her sister’s eyes… Not when she sits back and allow people to die or get hurt because she thought it ‘didn’t matter.’

That shouldn’t be an excuse and she refuses to treat it as such.

“Thank you,” Kara said.

“No problem…so about getting me back home?” Barry asked and Kara laughed.

“Don’t worry. I know exactly what to do,” Kara said.

“That… doesn’t make me feel safe.”

0000

Kara sang softly to herself as she unlocked her apartment door. She had just helped Barry get home and now she was going to help this world, this timeline. She was going to be Supe-

Pain.

Kara gasped as she fell to her knees. She hugs herself as she looks around, her face turning white when she saw green kryptonite rocks everywhere in her apartment.

“Welcome home,” Grev said as he walked into view. He smirked at her, in one hand the knife he gave her. He walked to the door, closed and locked it before grabbing her by the hair, pulling her to the center of the room.

Bile was in her throat as Kara tried to stand up, only to get knocked down by Grev.

“It took me months to find out what your weakness was. Even more to find so much- what do you call it? Kryptonite? Yes, Kryptonite. And when you suddenly disappeared… I knew I had to complete my plan,” Grev said crouched down to the balls of his feet. Kara looked at him, sneering as her body felt on fire.

Fire not just from the kryptonite… but the need to fight- the need to live.

“Wha- What’s going on?” Kara sneered.

“Oh, I guess you did buy that story I told you. About how I came here with an army, only for it to turn back- What army would do that? This world is basically defenseless,” Grev said.

“Who are you,” Kara sneered, pulling herself up again.

“STAY DOWN!” Grev yelled and punched her in the gut. Kara fell to her side as she coughed up blood, “I didn’t lie. My name is Grev Mallor. But I’m from Fort Rozz.”

Kara’s eyes widen as she looked at him as he bent down again, making a small cut on her cheek.

“You were one of my Mother’s,” Kara said, wincing away from the knife.

“She came to Talok IV especially for me. Judged me and sentence me to life in Fort Rozz,” Grev told her before kicking her in the chest.

Kara coughed before starting to laugh, knowing where this was going, “And when you found out her daughter was still alive-”

“I wanted to kill you myself,” Grev said, “But I didn’t know how powerful you were. I need to see if you were a threat. At first, I thought you were nothing, but I’ve seen kryptonians hide their powers. I convince Vartox to take Astra-Zee’s deal, I wanted to see what you would do-”

“And you found out just what you were dealing with,” Kara said, laughing again.

She’ll kill him. Then she’ll kill him in the next timeline too.

“I knew I had to weaken you first. I heard a rumor there was something that weakened you, but no one would tell me. Either because they didn’t know or they were loyal to Astra-Zee,” Grev told her.

“So you used me. Dated me to keep close,” Kara said.

“Yes. It would have been more enjoyable if I could have fucked you. In fact, I’m contemplating doing that before I slid your throat,” Grev said as the knife hovered over her clothes.

“I’ll kill you. And if I don’t. Astra, Non or Alex will,” Kara said, “You brag about it, you will be running for the rest of your life.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Grev said, grinning, “Astra and Non have been taken by the Green Lanterns… as for your sister… I’ll fuck her too.”

Kara breathed deeply. Trying to block out the pain that coursed through her body. She grinned her teeth when she saw Grev start to take off his clothes, laughing at her as her body refused to move.

She didn’t close her eyes when he cut off her clothes. She didn’t close her eyes when he pushed himself into her.  She didn’t close her eyes when he spilled himself all over her.

She burned his face into her mind. Because the next time she sees him… the next time she sees him she was going to rip off his dick and balls and make him choke on it.

“Goodbye ‘Princess’,” Grev said and slid her throat.

Kara choked as she felt the blood run down her collarbones. She opened her mouth, despite for air when Grev shoved himself into her mouth. He groaned above her and she wished she could bite it off.

He kept looking at her, grinning as her vision blurred.

For a moment she was scared she wouldn’t wake up again… that she used up all her chances…

What then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 000000  
> End  
> 000000  
> Ok, so Kara is awake and ready to move on. I don’t know if the scene felt rushed to you, but remember that she’s been on the fence over if the world is a dream or not. She was trying to live in a delusion, but is now forced to wake up.  
> Grev being evil. No, it wasn’t a sudden decision; I planned that from the beginning. I needed Kara to realize that she hardly know anything about Fort Rozz and its criminals and fix that gap in her knowledge.  
> This is one of the longest timeline’s I’ve done because there was a lot of thing Kara needed to find out about herself and the world around her.  
> As I told Mlod: “Each timeline pretty much has a one of more reasons to be experienced. Timeline 2 was the torture that lead to Kara owing her life to Astra and Non. Timeline 3 was the training and sympathizing with the Fort Rozz criminals, especially those that were jailed with Astra and Non. Timeline 4 was her realizing she can kill, but also that killing has consequences.  
> Timelines 5- 33 were just to break her.  
> This time line has 4 objectives: Her realizing what people mean to her/ Her realizing she doesn’t have to be Supergirl, that she doesn’t ow the world anything/ Realizing what other aliens were going through and bringing up the Green Lanterns and Planet classification / (That her loops restart the the timeline completely, the other time lines don’t go on.)  
> This is all for when the Main Timeline is going to happen. The Main Timeline is actually in the sequel. This story is basically where Kara turns BAMF.”  
> Next time line is 10 chapters long and she’s going to actively make changes, like what you would see in a typical ‘Time Travel Fix-it’, but it will still not be the Main Timeline.  
> Ok, Rape scene: This scene was more about Kara being powerless and being betrayed by someone she trusted rather than porn. There will be incidence where she still remembers it, and will have flash backs, but all of it has to do with Kara not believing she is strong enough.


	9. Timeline 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a new timeline and Kara is determined to get everything right this time. No more sitting back, it's time to take action- but when she finds out something about her past she never expected, will things go according to plan?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: Timeline 35  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 35

Kara closed her eyes as she walked into the burning hot water. She closed her shower curtain and tried not to listen to the world around her.

This body doesn’t know Grev’s touch-

(He acts so gentle when he forces her legs open. The gentleness disappears when Kara kicks him. He shoves the blade into her thigh and she screams…He shoves his tong into her mouth, hands over her breast as she digs her fingers into his arms, trying to crush them.)

-but her mind plays out those memories. She opens her mouth, allowing the water to fill it before she spits it out. She images blood splattering on the floor and she raises her hand to her neck.

Smooth.

Kara rests her head on the warm tiles, her eyes closed again.

She was 21 the first time she had sex. She had been going out with the boy since her first year at university and she was pretty sure she loved him. She still remembers looking up and watching him work on his car. The sweat running down his chest. She follows the trail till it stopped at his jeans, the fabric absorbing the moisture.

She remembers rubbing her thighs together as a heat suddenly appeared between her legs. She remembers her breath coming fast and heavy. She remembers the feeling of something dripping out of her-

It was the first time she ever felt sexual attraction.

Tommy was her first. And if it wasn’t for Grev he would have been her last as well-

Kara breathed in shakily through her mouth before holding it in her lungs. She wouldn’t cry. She didn’t when that bastard was raping her, and she wouldn’t give anything the satisfaction of breaking down now. 

Kara shakes her head and turns off the water. She super speeded into some work clothes before heading to the kitchen to grab something to eat. She didn’t really want to go to work today, but knew she had to. She needed to file permission to take a few of her holidays.

Kara needed to find out more about Fort Rozz and all the criminals on the ship. She’s been doing this half-cocked every time and all it’s landed her was her death… this time she was doing it right.

She would have gone today, called to tell them she was sick and just leave to the Fortress of Solitude, but she had to make sure Alex was safe first-

She will never let anything happen to Alex again.

0000

“What do you mean you’re taking a week vacation?” Ms. Grant asked her after calling her into her office.

Kara had just come back from James’s office, planning to drop off the layouts before starting on the Tribune letters she hopes to never send again-

(She walks into the building, passing several people as they carried boxes out the door. A few of them glare at her, blaming her for what happened)

-when Cat stopped her with her question.

“Yes,” Kara said, unsure what else to say. She needed time to not only go over everything in the Fortress, but start appearing as Supergirl.

“Why,” Ms. Grant asked, acting like it her right to know.

“No offense Ms. Grant, but other then what you already know, I’m under no obligation to tell you anything,” Kara said. She had given her reason- family obligations- when she filled out the forms.

“So I have to survive a week without an assistant?” Ms. Grant said, standing up from her desk and putting one hand on her waist.

Survive? What an interesting choice of word.

“I’ll talk to one of the interns to help you while I’m gone,” Kara tells her.

“I see. So you expect me to get by with incompetence,” Ms. Grant ‘asked’ her.

“Yes,” Kara said and put down the layout and walking out the room while Cat Grant looked at her with her mouth slightly open. She walked passed a reporter that looked at her with wide eyes, no doubt thinking she was crazy.

Kara knew there was nothing Ms. Grant could do; if she even tried to fire her Kara could follow with a lawsuit for unjustified termination and Cat was too smart to do anything to allow that.

There was advantaged to being her assistant, knowing quite a bit about how businesses were ran was but one of them.

Lying your ass off was another. One she still needed work at. Thankfully not as much as she used to.

Taking a deep breath Kara opened a word document and started typing.

0000

Like every other time Kara caught the plane she felt a sense of rightness, of accomplishment… of belonging. Like every other time she’s loved this moment, the moment she really figured out who she was.

‘Heart of a Hero’ her mother used to say.

The only thing Kara didn’t enjoy was having that argument with Alex, the one she gets so upset with Kara for exposing herself to the criminals that hated her mother so.

So, like last time, she dressed in all black before moving to catch the plane, this time making sure she didn’t get wet. She leaves as suddenly as she came, coming back dressed in the date clothes Alex helped her pick out. She stands with others who were waiting for their families. When Alex finally reaches the sore, Kara waves at her, unsure if the older woman saw her before being dragged off by a paramedic.

When Alex was finally released, Kara ran to her, throwing her arms around her shoulder, “Alex!”

Alex’s arms tighten, her shoulders stiff. She holds Kara for several moments before pulling away, looking her intensely in the face and taking a deep breath.

“I saw what happened on the tv,” Kara said and gently touched her sister’s face, burning this look of being-alive into her mind, desperate to get so many other images of Alex out.

“Was that you?” Alex asked.

Kara frowned, “What?”

“Kara was that you?” Alex said, grabbing her wrists and stepping back slightly. Her eyes were wide and her body even tenser than before. She glances over Kara’s shoulder, staring at something before her eyes go back to her.

“No. Of course it wasn’t me,” Kara lied, “I mean I almost did-”

“No,” Alex said suddenly, “You can’t reveal yourself, Kara.”

“Alex… I’m not going to let you die,” Kara told her and gently extracted herself from her sister. She put her arm around the woman’s shoulder and led her away from the crowds. She glances in the direction Alex was looking and saw J’onn standing with a few other passengers- other DEO members.

Kara looked away before J’onn saw her, rubbing her sister’s arm as they headed to the bus stop.

0000

Kara opened the Fortress before walking calmly into the building. She called Winn to meet her at her apartment later after work. There she would tell him who she was and hopefully, stop him from ever working with his father.

(Kara hates looking at Winn on the other side of the glass. Hates talking for hours with no reply. Hates looking into those eyes that scream resentment and anger.)

Now, however, Kara needs to look at the information the Fortress had.

She walked through Clark’s little museum, glancing at a few of the things, most of which she didn’t know what they meant. She walked to an interactive station and gently placed her hand on the console.

(She tells James she doesn’t know how to use the computer, lying and hoping he doesn’t realize. It’s been years since she’s seen anything like this, but immediately remembers how to use it. She’s ashamed, to tell the truth; that the first thought upon walking into the Fortress was ‘Finally. Civilization.’

She remembers how Alex shows her all these things when they were little. All these advances humans have made. She bites her tongue, hoping not to blurt out just how primitive everything was compared to what she had, what she could do on Krypton. Even now, when Winn gushes over some new invention there are only a few times Kara can say she’s never seen anything like it.

Or the fact that she’s seen all these things in a museum.)

“Hello Kara Zor-El,” Kelex said as it floated towards her.

“It’s Kara-El. Update,” Kara said, still keeping her hand on the console before closing her eyes. She feels her interactive chip connect to the computer before opening her eyes, seeing screens all around her. 

She hasn’t used her interactive chip in years. It’s a small thing, placed on the inside of your skull that allows your brain to connect with kryptonian technology. It’s such a common thing that people don’t even mention it, expecting everyone to know about it and use it, like a fork.

It doesn’t work with human technology, and thus her’s has been dormant for so long she actually forgot about it. It was only in the last timeline, when she and Barry when to the Fortress, that she was reminded of it.

“Update complete,” Kelex said, “How can I help you Kara-El?”

Kara-El? Not Lady Kara?

Kara frowned before turning to Kelex. She was the Head of the House of El. Kelex would know that… so why didn’t it address her properly?

Kara shook her head, deciding to ignore that for now, “I’m looking for all information on Fort Rozz and every one sentence to it at the time of Krypton’s destruction.”

“I’m sorry. You do not have authorization to view these files. I am able to give you access to all public records, however,” Kelex said and document appeared on the screens all around her.

“What do you mean I don’t have authorization? I am the Head of the House of El. I am a member of the High Council. The only member,” Kara told Kelex.

“Incorrect. The Head of the House of El is Lord Kal-El,” Kelex said.

“What? How is that possible? I am Zor-El’s only child and he was older then Jor-El. The position should fall to me,” Kara said.

“Zor-El removed you from the inheritance and had the Lordship given to Jor-El’s son,” Kelex said.

Kara felt a coldness radiate from inside her as she stared at Kelex in disbelief. Her father… removed her from the family tree? Why- why would do that? The law stated that it was always the oldest that received the Lordship/Ladyship unless they were found unsuited. But such things were taken to a court. Kara- Kara was never in such a court and she couldn’t think of anything that she could have done to shame her family.

She knew she and her father were never very close. Oh, he took her places and interacted with her, but there was always some wall between them… like there was something he was unhappy about.

Maybe that was why she preferred staying with her grandmother and then her aunt after the old woman died. She didn’t have to see that look of disappointment on her father’s face.

“What were his reasons in court? What did he say the proved I was unfit to lead the House of El,” Kara asked- begged Kelex.

“No such records exist,” Kelex said.

Kara stepped back, turning quickly and grabbing hold of the Interactive Console as her knees grew weak…

Her father had her removed illegally. Her father had basically disowned her…

“Why?” Kara said as tears ran down her face.

Her Blood had been rejected. She was Ugnahj, the unwanted, the rejected, the-

(Nothing! Useless! Expendable!)

“Why send me to earth,” Kara asked, “Why save me then?”

“Someone needed to raise Kal-El,” her father’s voice came from behind her. Kara froze before slowly turning around. She looked at the man, the same disappointment she’s always seen in his eyes.

“What?” Kara asked.

“Your mother begged Jor and me for your life, insisting you would be able to raise Kal to be a proper Kryptonian before he takes his proper place on earth,” Zor-El told her.

“What place?” Kara asked, forcing her legs to move closer to the V.I.

“His place as the humans’ king, their god,” Zor-El told her.

“What?” Kara said, horrified, “What do you mean King?”

“When we realized there was nothing we could do to save Krypton, Jor-El searched for a new planet, but it was already too late to find an uninhabited world. So, instead, we choose Sol 3 because of its yellow sun. We sent a depository ahead, to create this Fortress for Kal-El to grow in. He would have been taught as any Kryptonian would as well as the fact that he is to be the humans’, these primitive apes’, god,” Zor-El told her, “But your mother argued. Begged us to send you along to teach and protect him. Neither of us wanted to, but I knew your mother would find a way to get you off the planet.”

“Why didn’t you want to save me?” Kara asked.

“Because you are a girl,” Zor-El said bluntly.

Kara took a step back like she’d just been slapped, “I don’t understand… Woman have been revered in our history. Women and men were equal on Krypton… why would my gender stop you from wanting to save me?”

“Women have oppressed and abused men for centuries. Before the Civil War, after the Death of Queen Kara the Merciless, men were seen as second-class citizens. They had no rights. Some were even collared and chained, led around like animals-”

“People stopped thinking like that centuries ago!” Kara screamed as the cold disappeared and a fire ripped through her body.

“Your grandmother didn’t,” Zor-El told her.

Kara stopped, looking at him in horror… she’s always known her father and uncle Jor didn’t like their mother. Never spent much time around her-

(Kara stands to the side as her grandmother, Yalle-El raised her pyphor, a whip with a spiky ball at the end, to her grandfather, Gur Yalle-El. She brought the whip down on his back repeatedly as Kara held onto the glass of drena he brought her. She wanted Go-go juice and had complained to her grandmother. She claps her hands as the old woman put the man in his place.

‘That’s how you discipline a Mutz Kara,’ Yalle said as she walked away from the man bleeding on the floor.

‘Yes Grandmother,’ Kara said.)

“I’m sorry for what grandmother did to you,” Kara said as she remembered all the other times she seen the woman beat, humiliate and degrade the men- dogs as she called them- and felt like she wanted to throw up. She remembered saying something rude to her father before her mother took her aside and told her she wasn’t allowed to say such things. That it was impolite and horrible and no decent kryptonian should do that.

Her mother stopped sending her to her grandmother so often after that. Refused the Head of House when the old woman demanded Kara. Even when Yalle called her a Haji- a bitch that liked being taken by a male- Alura refused.

“And you were exactly like her,” Zor-El said, “Jor and I swore there would never be another queen, another woman that thought they were above, or even equal to men.”

“So you would rather have let me die,” Kara said.

“I was ashamed when I found out you were a girl. It wasn’t for your mother I would have left you on Starhaven,” Zor-El told her and the image disappeared.

Kara just stared at the emptiness around her, unsure of what she could do. Her only purpose was to raise Kal… did he know about this?

“I never wanted you to find out,” Clark’s voice echoed through the Fortress. Kara turned to him, her tears frozen to her face.

“Kal-”

“Kelex called me while I was in Metropolis,” Clark said as she walked to her. He looked like he wanted to take her into his arms but hesitated in touching her, “Said you were trying to access confidential files… I hoped I could get here before you found out.”

“You knew,” Kara said as she spun to face him, “You knew I was nothing- that my own father didn’t want me alive.”

“That they wanted me as a god- as their puppet King,” Kal said, “Yes I knew.”

“Is that why you left me with the Danvers? So I would never find out,” Kara asked him, anger rising inside her again.

“No- yes. I didn’t want you to know till your older. I knew if you spent too much time around me, around the Fortress you would find out,” Kal said, “But I also wanted you to have a family that wanted you, cared about you-”

“So that what? I wouldn’t kill everyone when I found out?” Kara sneered.

Kal looked away.

“That is what you thought,” Kara said, “How could you- How dare you!”

“I just-”

“Just what? Wanted me to ‘grow up’. Become _your_ puppet _Supergirl_ before you told me everything I knew was a lie,” Kara sneered, “I had a right to know. I am off-age, I have several crafts under my belt and- and- you had no right!”

“I’m sorry,” Kal said and looked how.

“You kept this from me- Kept my inheritance from me,” Kara said.

“You never wanted it!” Kal yelled back.

“Because I was naive!” Kara yelled at him, “But now I see clearly. There are people, off-worlders, refugees, here on earth. They live in fear every day, fear that someone would find out about them. The people of earth know about ‘aliens’. With that I can appeal to the Intergalactic Council, a council I would have been a part of had we been on Krypton, to raise Earth’s Classification from a 3 to a 4. Have them send people here to ensure that _innocents_ aren’t killed for what they look like.”

“And Fort Rozz? How do you know about that?” Kal asked her.

Kara looked away. She was tempted to tell him the truth, tell him about loops. But she doubted he would believe her.

“I met one. One who threatened to kill me. Called my mother by her name,” Kara said, “I was able to fight him off and escape, but he mentioned Fort Rozz.”

“The laws on Krypton were strict,” Kal said and Kara gave a humorless laugh.

“That’s a nice way to say it,” Kara said.

“You’re not going to like what you find,” Kal warns her.

“I still have the right to know,” Kara said and looked him in the eyes. They held the stare for some time before Kal sighed.

“Kelex. Delete sup-protocol Trolius, Voice-Print. Match” Kal said.

“Voice-Print Confirmed. Deleting… Updating,” Kelex said and there were a few moments of silence, “Update complete. Kara-El has been reinstated in the inheritance and thus will take over as Head of the House of El.”

“Kelex. Allow Kal-El full access to all information. Voice-Print. Match,” Kara said.

“Voice-Print confirmed Lady Kara,” Kelex said.

“Thank you,” Kal said and Kara nodded before turning back to the Console.

“Bring up all information on Fort Rozz and the criminals sentenced there at the time of Krypton’s destruction,” Kara said.

“Yes Lady Kara,” Kelex said and Kal walked to another part of the room, inserting information into the computer, “Do you also wish for information on the criminals after Krypton’s destruction?”

“Is there addition data for that time period?” Kara asked.

“Yes, Lady Kara,” Kelex said.

Kara tilted her head. That didn’t make sense. But maybe some of the guards kept records of everything that happened.

“Show me everything,” Kara said.

0000

“I still can’t believe you’re an alien,” Winn said as he sewed her uniform, “And I can’t believe you told me.”

“Of course I told you,” Kara said as she worked on her ear cuffs. There were different from last time, now that she knew about appropriate shapes and had better material from the Fortress, “You’re my best friend. I trust you with my life.”

She wasn’t going to push him away this time.

Winn blushed slightly, looking away from her and back to the sewing he was doing. Kara smiled and returned to her cuffs.

The right cuff was a simple curve that would attach to the shell of her ear. The left cuff, however, was slightly different. The top part of the cuff would extend down before curving up tight against her face. It would continue up till it curved again till slightly over her left eyebrow, stopping an inch or two from the middle of her head. The decoration wasn’t ever large. It bulges slightly at her cheek, no thicker than two fingers before reducing till a single point.

It was a modern way of showing who was a Head of House, the old way being a curved mask that attached around her face, the two ends stopping at her neck. The modern way was common enough that any other Kryptonian would know what they mean, and decorative enough that humans wouldn’t pay too much attention to it.

Her suit was also slightly different. The few times she fought in her high heels she realized just how hard it was. Instead, this time, she made them proper boots, placing metal in the sols. They still extended up to her knee and the skirt and body suit were still the same. They were comfortable to fight in and she had free movement because of the skirt. The one thing that was very different was the cape.

It was now fastened on top of her suit, much like Superman’s, but unlike his, her’s could be unattached easily and quickly for when she had to do serious fighting against someone.

“Why the whole blond hair thing anyway?” Winn asked, “Superman doesn’t do that- Does he?”

“No,” Kara said-

**Lucy bends down, her hands on her thighs as they both breathing hard. Kara turns away from the woman, rubbing her hands together as the low radiation prickle at her skin. She moves to the door, turning off the kryptonite emitters before moving back to the older woman.**

**It’s been two weeks since Lucy took over as Director of the DEO and they were finally moving past the whole secret identity thing. Lucy being able to hit her probably helped a lot, but Kara hoped they might be able to become actual friends.**

**“Can I ask you something,” Lucy said as she moved to the side of the room before grabbing a water bottle.**

**“Sure,” Kara said.**

**“Why didn’t you wear a mask?” Lucy asked.**

**“What?”**

**“I mean you didn’t want anyone to know Supergirl and Kara Danvers were the same person, but you never wore a mask.”**

**“I guess in the beginning it was the fact that Kal never wore a mask… but now, I don’t know. Maybe one day I’ll figure it out. Besides, no one’s figured it out.”**

**“Except Cat Grant.”**

**“Yeah, but I convinced Ms. Grant I’m not Supergirl.”**

**“But still. What if someone figures it out?”**

**“I don’t know,” Kara said coming to sit next to Lucy, who had dropped to the ground while they had been talking, “What would you have done.”**

**“Changed my hair at least.”**

**“Why. Do you think you’ll look nice as a blond?”**

**“Funny, no. I guess it’s a lot of things. Your voice deepens slightly. You stand more confidently. You hold yourself like-” Lucy suddenly cuts herself off.**

**“Like?” Kara asked.**

**“Like you’re not human. And yeah that helps, but people judge-people remember looks more than anything. I guess if I was you I’ll make subtle changes, but changes that wouldn’t look like they could be changed in a few seconds. I mean it’s not like you can do that.”**

**“There is technology that can do that, but I don’t know… I don’t think I’ll feel like myself.”**

-“I don’t want to wear a mask,” Kara said, realizing she had her reason, “Not wearing one- being _exposed_ \- it’s me telling everyone I don’t have something to hide-

(She had a lot to hide. More than anyone could understand. She still rubs her fingers when she comes close to something green. She puts makeup on her face so carefully, brushing her fingers over her ears and lips. She flinches when James wants to shake her hand and has to laugh it off)

-It’s about showing them they can trust me.”

“But you don’t trust them,” Winn said and the only sound that echoes through the room is soft kryptonian music.

“My cousin has so many enemies- so does my mother. Once they know who I am, they’ll come after me,” Kara said, half lying- pretending he wasn’t completely correct- “I just want those close to me safe. It might not always work, but if it works enough… I might be able to protect someone.”

Including herself.

“Kara… you’re allowed to be scared,” Winn tells her, “You’re allowed to do things to protect yourself. Being scared doesn’t mean you’re not strong, it just means- it just means you’re scared.”

Kara smiles up at him, “On Krypton it’s considered great strength to tell your deepest fear to your enemy. It’s not because you’re being open, it because it shows them that there are things that make you more scared than them. It shows that you’re not afraid of them and nothing they can do can change that. It’s a show of arrogance… not bravery.”

“And telling your friend what you’re afraid of? What does that mean on Krypton?” Winn asked.

“It means you’re willing to take a hand and get out of your hole,” Kara told him.

“I don’t understand that reference,” Winn said.

“But I understand that one,” Kara said pointing at Winn before smiling sadly, “I’m not willing to take your hand just yet. One day I’ll reach out, but now- now I need to figure things out for myself.”

“I think I get it,” Winn said and turns back to the sewing machine.

Kara smiles in thanks-

(Please. Please, I don’t want this. Please just let me die.)

\- and turns back to the cuffs.

0000

Her first appearance as Supergirl is her landing in front of a speeding car. She makes sure she doesn’t give the car enough time to turn out of the way, thus slamming into her. The front of the car is crushed around her and it takes the robbers a few moments before they can look at her. This time allows the police to catch up.

Kara isn’t sure if it’s her bright eyes or the S on her chest that unnerves the robbers more, but they half jump out of the car, guns in the air as the police surround them. A few of them lower their weapons and fall to the ground. At the same time, some of the police turn their guns on her, about half hesitating once they see the S.

They’re skeptical. Why wouldn’t they be?

One of the robbers’ finger pulls the trigger accidentally, his gun aimed at a police officer. Kara activates her heat vision and disintegrates the bullet mid-air. And that’s enough for the rest of the robbers to drop their weapons.

Kara pushed off into the air, hovering for a few moments as the police cuff the men and women before flying off completely.

Unlike last time where it takes the city days to get a good shot of her, this time one of the police cars records the entire thing. It plays on the news the next day and Winn texts her while she’s in the Fortress reading up on the final years of Krypton.

What she finds makes her want to find a time machine and punch the High Council in the face.

0000

The DEO starts a fire that night. An abandoned building, a trap for their new alien superhero.

Kara almost doesn’t go.

She still wants to visit the Alien bar, was ready to change and go when Winn tells her about the fire. Part of her is relieved-

She’s pretty sure she’ll rip Grev’s heart out the second she sees him.

-And yet a part of her is afraid. She still doesn’t like the DEO. Doesn’t like being in the building.

(Kal hesitate before telling her about the DEO, tells her about Kryptonite and what else she could face if she really wants to become a hero. Kara acts surprised, acts like this was news to her. She acts hesitant, but then determined that she wouldn’t run and hide. Not from the Fort Rozz criminals. And not from the DEO)

She flies through the air, her body tense as she listens to the sounds around her.

BANG

Kara quickly moves out of the way, the large syringes/dart thing flying past her.

BANG

Kara avoids the second one before flying to the ground. She’s half tempted to use her disappearing act, but is hesitant to show them the extent of her abilities. They fire one more shot, which she again avoids, before she stops just in front of them, still in the air.

Kara tilts her head to the right, the fire’s light dancing of the gold of her cuffs, “So this is the DEO. Superman told me about you.”

She sees them hesitate and wonders if Alex is in the group again.

“What do you want,” Kara asks them.

“Our Director wants to talk to you,” one of the agents say, their guns still aimed at her.

“You could have asked nicely,” Kara said.

“We have been tasked to bring you in and to use whatever force-”

Kara suddenly appears in front of the agent, her face close enough to breathe the same air as the human. Kara activates her x-ray vision and looks at the person, recognizing him as Agent Pond.

“I would not suggest that,” Kara told him.

Pond swallows but doesn’t move, “We ask that you come peacefully.”

“And I ask you to tell your boss I wouldn’t enter his secret headquarters if a single piece of Kryptonite is brought near me,” Kara said, “Go. I’ll follow.”

“Excuse me if I don’t take you at your word,” Pond said, his teeth pressed together.

“You’re excused,” Kara said and pushed off into the air. She hovers and waits for them to get back into their cars and drive. It takes them a few tense minutes- they talk to J’onn and she hears every word- before they move to their cars and drive off.

“That was bad ass,” Winn whispers through her earpiece.

“Be ready to record everything,” Kara said.

It was a small thing really to add a radio and small camera to her right cuff. She wonders if she should tell Winn about the tracker as well, but figures it might be a nice surprise if anything happens to her.

0000

“Thank you for coming in peacefully Miss Danvers,” J’onn said as she walks into the command center.

Kara smiles, amused at his power play, “Thank you, Director Henshaw, for not creating a situation where I needed to use force.”

J’onn’s eyes narrow at her, but Kara smiles and blinks at him innocently.

“I’m sure you know Agent Danvers,” J’onn said, trying to throw her off her game.

Alex walks into the room, shame on her face. She only glances at Kara before looking away again. Kara frowns, pretending she didn’t know about Alex, and narrows her eyes slightly.

“Welcome to the DEO, the Department of Extranormal Operations,” J’onn said, not holding out a hand. He was still trying to intimidate her, trying to protect her, “The DEO monitors and protects Earth from extraterrestrial presence and/or invasion.”

“Does that mean me?” Kara asked, amusement coloring her words as she walks around her room. She moves to her ship, her fingers ghosting over the machine as her interactive chip connects to the ships onboard computer, “I see you have my ship. I always wondered what happened to it.”

“We keep it here as a reminder of the day you crashed on Earth,” J’onn said. She knew he was uncomfortable. She’s been around him for too long to not know such things, “You're the reason for all of this.”

“How strange,” Kara muttered loud enough for everyone to hear, her eyes still on her ship. She was downloading all the information from the computer to the kryptonian device she had strapped to her thigh, “Kal’s been on the planet for almost two dozen years before I came.”

“And it was his arrival that triggered the need for this organization. We realized we weren't alone in the universe and we might soon be getting more immigrants,” J’onn said and moved to the collection of screens, “Sure enough, you came along. And with you, Fort Rozz.”

The screens change and show an incomplete list of the criminals on Fort Rozz. Kara turns off the onboard computer, the download complete, before heading to stand next to J’onn.

“Fort Rozz was Krypton's maximum security prison. It was banished to the Phantom Zone-”

“Wrong on both accounts there,” Kara interrupted, her voice as strong as she could make it.

“Excuse me,” J’onn said, his hands on his hips as he glared at her.

“Fort Rozz was originally a military space outpost when Krypton had finally discovered space travel. We were the ‘new kids on the block’ and almost every advances species tried to invade us,” Kara tells them, “Eventually they realized we weren’t so easy to conquer and they backed off. The Intergalactic Council sent a representative and Krypton officially became part of the known universe. It was eventually given a council seat and as an act of good faith, Krypton gave the outpost to the council.

It was years, decades later when Jor-El and Non Astra-Zee were able to create a way into the Phantom Zone, an interdimensional area in space where time stood still. Krypton wasn’t the only planet that had a gate to the Zone.

At first, they just sent probes there, but an Intergalactic Councilmen, not Krypton’s, wanted to find a way to redeem the prisoners. They figured using a dimension where time doesn’t pass gave them unlimited time to conform the prisoners.

It was eventually decided to use Fort Rozz as the Prison. It was impenetrable and with a few modifications they were able to make it into a prison, albeit a luxurious one, each person with their own room and bathroom.

It was only fully implicated as a prison about a year before Krypton was destroyed. It was sent into the Phantom Zone, gates to the Zone on almost every Class 6 planet. After Krypton was destroyed the other Worlds still used it when suddenly there was a revolt. Which happened only a few moments before it- and I- escaped the Zone.

According to Intergalactic Records, it disappeared 12 years ago. It was able to escape from Earth’s Gate. The only gate that didn’t have a shield to prevent such things from happening. A gate that was unregistered because my foolish cousin decided to build it, not understanding the implications of his action.

So, Director. Before you try to blame me, get all the facts.”

J’onn and pretty much everyone was staring at her in shock.

“By the way,” Kara said, smiling again, “Your list is extremely out of date. Not to mention you’re not authorized to have all the information.”

“And you are?” J’onn asked, trying to regain power in the room.

Kara brushed her hand over her headpiece, several people’s eyes following her movements, “I am Lady Kara-El. Head of the House of El and the only member of the Kryptonian High Council. But law, I automatically have a seat on the intergalactic council-”

Not completely true. She still wasn’t sure how the kryptonians still left in the universe have organized themselves, but as far as Kal knew there was no Kryptonian Councilman.

“- I have every authorization.”

“I see,” J’onn said, his shoulder dropping as he realized he wasn’t going to win.

“No, you don’t. It’s not your job to fix my son’s mess, it’s mine. So I suggest you go back to what your good at: trying to capture people that probably aren’t even on this planet or capturing people that are nothing more than refugees,” Kara said, knowing she hit a sore spot, “Congratulations Director. Your organization is nothing more than the boogieman for alien children.”

With that Kara turned around and walked away. No one tried to stop her. A few glanced at J’onn, but he didn’t acknowledge them. Thus, Kara walked straight out of the building before pushing off into the air.

“You’re actually starting to scare me,” Winn muttered in her ear.

Kara smiled, “Want to meet some aliens?”

“Other than you?” Winn asked.

“I need to go talk to some of the refugees on the planet. I need to reassure them I’m going to do everything I can to keep them safe,” Kara said.

“And how do you plan to do that?” Winn asked.

“Go to the one place they feel safe. A bar.”

“Wait. What?”

0000

Kara smiled as Winn looked around the bar at all the different aliens. She had to reassure the ‘bouncer’ that Winn didn’t mean them any harm and that she will make sure he doesn’t try anything before they were allowed in.

Now they sat across from each other, Kara’s cape next to her as Winn split his attention between the ‘tablet’ in his hands and the off-worlders around them.

“So is Off-Worlder the politically correct term, or?” Winn asked.

“An Off-Worlder is simply someone who isn’t born on the planet you’re currently on,” Kara explains to him, “Most people use race to describe someone that isn’t the same race as them, but earth- like many other planets- see different physical characteristics as race.”

“So that’s not just us?” Winn asked, pointing at himself.

“It’s most common among planets that are Class 4 and lower, but a few planets with higher class still do it,” Kara tells him.

“You said Earth is a Class 3 planet and that you’re trying to get it up to Class 4, but what was Krypton?” Winn asked before sipping the drink in front of him.

“Krypton was a Class 6. We were we on our way to be a Class 7, which is the highest classification, but… yeah. That didn’t happen,” Kara said, and looked away.

“How does the classification work?” Winn asked, changing the subject slightly.

“In summary: Class 0 is an uninhabited planet. No life forms of any kind. Class 1 is a planet with life forms, but none with high brain functions. Class 2 is a planet with intelligent life that doesn’t have a proper governmental structure. Class 3a is a planet with proper government or governments. Class 3b is a planet with proper governments that have good communication. This is what earth is currently classed as. Class 4 is a planet with a pedo-hidden ‘alien’ population. They normally have communities of their own and the Intergalactic council sends people to make sure they sure everyone can be taken care of. They’re not completely hidden because the local species are somewhat aware and normally try to eradicate them. Class 5 is a planet that accepts off-worlders as citizens. They can have jobs and walk around without looking like the local species. Class 6 is a planet with a seat on the Intergalactic Council and Class 7 is a planet that’s so old, and so advanced it almost impossible to know when they discovered space travel.”

“That’s the simple way of explaining it,” a male voice said. Kara looked up and blinked a few times.

The man was a mustard yellow with a heart-shaped face. He had antennas sprouting from his forehead near his hairline and long purple hair. His eyes were completely white and had black rings around them on the skin.

“My name is Von Daggle,” Von said and held out his hand to Kara, “I am in charge of the alien community here in National City…I was told you wished to speak to me.”

Kara stood and took his hand, giving a firm handshake, “I am Lady Kara-El, Head of the House of El from Krypton. Thank you for meeting with me.”

“How could I not M’Lady once I heard what you have to offer,” Von said.

“Thank you for being sensitive, but Lady is an old title that doesn’t really translate well nor is the honorific necessary,” Kara said smiling and Von bowed his head slightly, “Please, have a seat.”

Winn moved up to allow Von to sit next to him and face Kara. There were two other men with him, but they didn’t sit nor did they move to introduce themselves. Kara watched as Winn waved once at them, only to get a glare in return.

“I will admit that I did not expect this meeting,” Von said, “Nor do I understand why you wish to have this meeting now when the humans have known about off-worlders for years.”

“Naivety, innocence, foolishness, even arrogance, call it what you wish,” Kara said as M’ggan placed some drink in front of them, “Until recently I hadn’t realized that I and my cousin weren’t the only ‘aliens’ on the planet.”

“Your right,” Von said and took a sip of his ‘tea’, “That was foolish.”

Kara’s mouth twitched as she tried to suppress a smile, “Once I did and once I realized I could help- How could I not?”

“Many people wouldn’t. They would say it’s not their problem,” Von said, “So tell me, Lady Kara, why?”

Kara smiled as her eyelids close slightly as she looked down, her finger tracing the edge of her cup in a continuous circle, “Because everyone has a life. They have worries and joys. They have a past and they have a future… knowing that, knowing that every life has the same value… I couldn’t keep sitting by and do nothing.”

“You have sonder,” Von said.

Kara looked up and tilted her head slightly as she tried to remember the meaning of the word. She smiled once she did, for it was exactly as she felt, “Yes.”

“You realize there are going to be complications,” Von said.

“Yes,” Kara agreed, “However, with your help, I wish to accumulate enough evidence to make the Intergalactic Council react immediately and not waste time in sending a Green Lantern.”

That and a Green Lantern would complicate thing with the Fort Rozz Criminals. She needs to take care of them herself, especially those that were unjustly incarcerated like her aunt, Non, and the rest who followed them. She needed to make them see the truth, make them see she understood, knew what they were planning-

(Kara waits till Kal is gone before she mentions Myriad. Like last time Kexel tells her his construct will self-destruct if she continues asking, but she uses the same argument. She hears the explanation again and move to get even more, if not all information on the project. Who was involved. How did they create it… did the council ever waver in using it?)

-But knew she couldn’t do that while a Green Lantern was around.

“How efficient,” Von said, his voice coloring with something, “However is it your efficiency that makes you do this or something else?”

Kara and Von stare unblinkingly into each other’s eyes and Kara realize he knew about Fort Rozz. Probable knew about Astra too.

“Your right. There are other reasons I don’t want the Green Lantern Corps involved,” Kara said, “An issue I wish to deal with myself.”

“I, however, am unsure if I can trust you with this issue… especially since you’ve met with the DEO,” Von said.

Kara brought up a hand to cover her mouth, trying not to laugh as amusement course through her, “You have someone in the DEO.”

“Yes,” Von said.

“Then you know I’m not very impressed with them,” Kara said, “They can be better. I can make them better, but they will need to understand they wouldn’t be the ones to tell me what to do.”

“There’s the Kryptonian Arrogance I’ve heard about,” Von said.

Arrogance? Was it arrogance when Kara knew what was going to happen? When she’d been through this before? She didn’t trust the DEO, not when they believe that every alien was their enemy, that every alien was dangerous to the humans… J’onn started to understand at the end, but now she was back at the beginning… she still needed to cultivate a relationship with the man.

“Perhaps,” Kara said, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t produce results.”

“We will see,” Von said before he drank some of his tea again, “And what is our plan for the classification?”

“For now I want to get Earth recognized as a Class 4. At the same time, I want to work with the humans into making them understand they do not need to fear us, that we aren’t here to rule them, but to live our lives. To survive… to strive,” Kara said, “Once I do I hope humans would realize that we can live in harmony.”

“A Class 5 classification,” Von said and Kara nodded, “Not everyone will listen immediately, and some will never change their minds.”

“I am aware… but that doesn’t mean we can’t try,” Kara said.

“And what then? Get them a seat on the council?” Von asked.

“No,” Kara said suddenly, “Humanity isn’t ready for that. They squabble over the pettiest things. Their technology still has room to grow and for a species that don’t even have space travel to sit on the council is… comical.”

“And what of you?” Von said and turned to Winn, “What are your thoughts?”

“I’m- I’m ok with it? I-I mean the citizen thing, not the- the council thing,” Winn said, his hands flying as he talked, “I mean, Kara’s right. We’re not ready for that. But we can’t keep ignoring the people that live on our planet that don’t have access to basic hum-um people rights.”

“I see. And you would have no problem with working with an ‘alien’,” Von said.

“Dude I already work with an alien,” Winn said and pointed at Kara.

“And have you always known what she was?” Von asked.

“No, but that totally explains a lot- Kara breaks a lot of staplers,” Winn said, fake whispering the last part.

“No, I don’t!” Kara said.

“Kara. You go through like 5 staplers a month. There’s a betting pool at work,” Winn tells her and Kara’s mouth falls open.

Von smirked and turned back to Kara fully, “I still do not trust you would be able to handle the Fort Rozz criminals, but I would be a fool to refuse help for my people, and for all off-worlders on this planet. If you can help… I welcome it.”

“Thank you,” Kara said, “Shell we iron out what is needed?”

“Lets,” Von said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 0000  
> End  
> 0000  
> Reason for the King thing: The first time we see Kelex, it addresses Kara as Kara Zor-El, but the second time it calls her Lady Kara. Why the sudden change in address? Especially since it doesn’t call Superman Lord Kal, it calls him Kal-El.  
> I took some of the idea from Smallville and what is said in one episode.   
> In the comics, most of the time Kal and Kara are sent to Earth become it’s the only world that can sustain Kryptonian life. They don’t know about the yellow sun. But here they know. They send Kara and Kal to earth because of the yellow sun, so that they could get powers… why would they do that to their children? Did they underestimate how much power they will have? Did they know they were sending them off to be outsiders and never feeling like they fit in?  
> And if they did it on purpose so they could rule, why? What caused them to want to send their children off to be gods?  
> In Smallville Clark was expected to become a god to the humans, to rule them because he was ‘better’ than them.   
> But why Clark and not Kara? She was older, knew more about Krypton. Was her only purpose to raise Kal so he could become Earth’s god?  
> FORT ROZZ  
> Most of the things are comic history, but with my own twist to it. Phantom Zone gates are also half comic speculation and me translating it into what I need for my story.  
> Sonder  
> n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.


	10. The Writing on the Wall Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara 'tries' to act normal, but it isn't easy. She refuses to make the mistakes of her past, refuses to be seen as a child or week. She wants to get through to Astra- and she did. Just not the way she wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Writing on the Wall Part 1  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback  
> 00000

Timeline 35

Kara landed in the power plant before walking forward. She doesn’t call out to Vartox, knowing he already knew she was here. Kal had tried to stop her from going, worried for her, but Kara talked him out of coming with her. She needed to do this on her own… need to prove to people she could do this-

(She slams her fists into Lanes face over and over as tears blur her vision. She stops when she feels concrete and finally the sense of wrong covers her… Kara looks down at the alien as he clutches his broken leg. She pulls back her foot and kicks the ghost, wondering just how weak he would think she was now …)

Kara feels something slam into her and she flies forward. She sneers at herself for losing concentration. She rolls out his way before spring up and facing him.

“You don’t look like Alura,” Vartox said.

“You remember my mother,” Kara said.

“You don’t easily forget the woman that condemned you to prison,” Vartox said.

“You broke Krypton’s law,” Kara told him, “You force a woman to have congress with you.”

“I did not deserve life in prison for showing a bitch her place!” Vartox said.

“You were on Krypton,” Kara said, “Her place was above you.”

Vartox screamed and charged at her. Kara reached up to her cape and with one swift movement unclipped the cape and threw it back slightly. She activated her speed, punching Vartox before the first thread of the cape even touched the ground.

He flew back, crashing through one of the buildings as Kara dropped to the ground. She walked towards Vartox, who was quickly getting to his feet. She disappeared and reappeared behind him. She held out her right hand as Vartox turned around and flicked him in the chest with her middle finger.

CRACK

Vartox fell to the ground, breathing deeply as one of his ribs punctured his lungs. He glade up at her just before Kara knees him in the chin.

He falls back, unconscious as she hears the sound of a helicopter head towards them. She grabs his arm and starts to drag him out of the building as the helicopter hovers, allowing the Agents to repel down to the ground. They stop when they see Kara and suddenly look like they aren’t sure what to do.

“Do you want this?” Kara asked and held up Vartox by his arm. One of the Agents came forward, taking off her helmet. Alex cuffed Vartox and indicated to the other Agents to take him before turning back to Kara.

“You stopped him,” Alex said. Was she surprised? Was she shocked? Or was she afraid of Kara’s power?

“Yes,” Kara said and moved to grab her cape from the ground. She swung it over her shoulders before clipping it back as easily as she unclipped it. She turned back to Alex, tilting her head to the side.

“I’m not mad at you,” Kara said and she could see Alex’s shoulder immediately relax, “I don’t like that you never told me about the DEO, but I’m not mad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex asked her.

“Tell you what?” Kara asked as she tilted her head.

“About the head of house thing. The council, knowing all these things,” Alex asked.

“Alex you’re my big sister- you’re the other part of my soul and I knew you would try to protect me,” Kara said as she walked over to her sister and grabbed her gently by the shoulders, “But Alex, this time you can’t protect me. This time it’s my turn to protect you- and everyone else… I was afraid that if you knew- that you would talk me out of doing this.”

“You’re in danger. Their- these criminals are going to come after you,” Alex told her, fear coloring her voice.

“I can’t sit by and do nothing Alex. To do it would be wrong… it would be like people sitting back as their country was invaded… this-me doing this- me stopping these criminals… it’s the right thing to do, not the easy thing,” Kara told her.

“It’s not your job-”

“Yes, it is. Kal made it my job when he screwed up,” Kara told her, “I know what I’m doing.”

“Then work with us,” Alex said.

“I- Alex I can’t work for the DEO… not after everything I’ve heard about it. I’m willing to agree to a partnership, but- but I can’t be their lap dog,” Kara said.

She couldn’t trust them. She knew it wasn’t J’onn’s fault about what happened in the second timeline, she knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but every time she walked into that building her skin felt like it as on fire and she felt trapped and she needed to get out!

“Here,” Kara said, handing Alex a piece of paper before pointing at the different codes written on it, “This is to connect to my radio. This one will let you communicate with me when I’m at the Fortress, and that’s for my person sleeth- a kryptonian tablet.”

“Ok,” Alex said, “But Kara if you ever need us-”

“I wouldn’t,” Kara said and turned away from Alex.

“You might,” Alex told her and followed after the rest of the DEO Agents.

Kara stayed, watching them fly off, watching Alex, who was watching her, till Alex could no longer see her. She then closed her eyes and turned her face to the sun, spreading out her arms.

There were many things she needed to do. One of which was figuring out why she was looping through these timelines.

Kara reached into her skirt, pulling out her sleeth and starting to scan the power planet.

The sleeth was square, the outside rims made from a thick metal binding, all of the ‘computer’s’ processors and hardware inside. The ‘middle’ of from a blue see-through plastic-metal mixture. This was the ‘screen’ of the device. 

Kryptonians would use their interactive chip to connect with it while other species would use it similar to a tablet.

Kara smiled, remembering Winn as he quickly figured out how to use the device- he really was born in the wrong centenary.

0000

_Grev licks between her breast as Lane stands outside her cage. She tries to move, fight him, but each time she does the burning on her skin only got worse. She screams, begs someone to save her._

_“Why should we?” her father’s voice echo through her cell, “You’re nothing but a girl. Vartox was right, little girls should learn their place.”_

_“No! Please!” Kara screams as Grev moved in and out of her._

_“Maybe this time we’ll get our little soldier,” Lane said while soldiers around him chant ‘Breed Her’ “Breed Her’ to Grev._

_She looks to the glass wall seeing Astra leaning against the wall, a cruel smile on her face as red veins stay permanently on her face and neck. In her hand was some of her hair, braided. Kara followed the hair and saw Non kneeled as Astra’s feet, his body supporting black, yellow, blue, and purple bruises._

_Kara screamed, begging for everything to stop. She screamed for Alex and Kal._

_“I thought you said you didn’t need help?” Alex said, her neck broken and her head almost completely upside down as part of her skin starts to tear at her neck. Her eyes were glassy, like there was no life in them and her chest didn’t move._

_“Please! Alex!” Kara screamed and Alex’s mouth just opens and a horrible laughing sound just came out of it as the body didn’t move at all._

_Everyone started laughing then, even Non as Astra digs a kryptonite knife into his shoulder, twisting it round and round._

BANG BANG BANG

Kara chokes down a scream as she sits up suddenly. The banging continues as she looks down, unsurpassed to find her sleeth and paper sprayed out on her kitchen table. A bowl of melted ice-cream on the far end of the table.

Kara groans, mentally begging the banging to stop as she presses the heal of her hands into her eyes.

“Kara? Are you home?” James’s voice came through the door, muffled.

“Just a minute!” Kara called as she grabs her glasses. She jumps off her stool, hesitating as she felt a dizziness come over her-

When was the last time she ate?

Kara shook her head and moved to her door, unlocking everything before opening it. James stood on the other side, a familiar box in his hands. She smiled at him, moving to the side to allow the man entry.

“James. I didn’t know you knew where I lived,” Kara said as she closed the door and headed to her kitchen table. She grabbed the melted ice cream, mixing it with the spoon before throwing it over to a glass.

“Clark told me,” James said, a smile on his face.

“Clark needs to stop telling you things,” Kara said bluntly and the smile disappears, “especially things that aren’t his to tell.”

“Look. I’m sorry if he crossed a line-”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Kara told him, waving a hand at him, “I’ll be talking to Kal when I next see him about respecting people’s privacy.”

“You didn’t want me to know?” James said, frowning.

“I don’t know you,” Kara told him. Not completely the truth, but not exactly a lie… she’s never known James when she didn’t have a crush on him, obscuring her vision and opinions of him. That and the last time they really talked he acted like it was some kind of must she should be Supergirl.

“I see. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable,” James said as he watched her drink her melted ice cream. She saw him swallow before looking away.

“Why are you here?” Kara asked him.

“I wanted to give you this and to tell you I’m happy to see you become Supergirl,” James said, smiling again.

“No,” Kara said and his smile fell again, “I didn’t become Supergirl because I owe the world anything. I’m not doing this because there’s some universal law that I _have to_. I am doing this because I can’t stand by and see people hurt when I can do something about it. Not just humans, not just ‘the good guys’ or innocents- no. I’m going to do whatever I can to help _everyone_.”

Except for Lane and Grev. She’s pretty sure she’s going to kill them both eventually.

“Kara I don’t think you have to be Supergirl-”

“Don’t,” Kara said, “What would you have done if I never became Supergirl. If I never used my powers to help people?”

James looked down and then away. He crossed his arms before sighing, “I would have told you had a responsibility to the people. That you had the responsibility to help them.”

“Why? Because humans took me in? A scared little girl unable to care for herself,” Kara asked and James looks horrified at how she says things.

“You act like the only reason I should help people is because of my powers, but you're wrong,” Kara tells him, “I never wanted to be a soldier-”

“You’re not a soldier-” James started.

“Yes, I am. Like the Chieftess of old, the second I put that uniform on I became a soldier,” Kara tells him, “I wanted to help people with my words. That’s why I choose to work for Cat Grant, not because I have powers, or following in Kal’s footsteps, but because I believed I could make a difference… and that’s still what I want to do. James, there are so many things I want to do, do to help where I can’t charge in and punch people. There I will have to talk and talk and convince them with my words. Help them, give them hope… I’m not Supergirl because I have all these powers, I’m Supergirl because I can do so many things to help people.”

“I never meant-”

“Yes, you did. You meant that I have to pay the world back for what it did for me, I don’t,” Kara tells him, “I don’t need to help people. I have no _obligation_ to do so. I am doing it because I want to… because it’s my _choice_.”

“I see,” James said and looked away.

“Thank you for bringing this to me,” Kara said, “And thank you for coming, but it’s time for you to go.”

James nods and moves to the door. Kara opened the door and watched him leave, closing the door behind him.

James wasn’t a bad person. He just had the wrong mentality about what it means to be kryptonian. He believed something- a misguided something- and tried to push that belief onto other people- her especially. He thought he was the only one who had the right to know about who she is, even though he’s just met her.

(She sees the way he looks at Winn when he realizes she told him who she was. She ignores it, she wanted him to like her. She wanted him to be proud of her. He tells her things and she takes it like it’s some kind of law… she still gets mad and annoyed, but she bends for him… when she didn’t need to.)

Kara sighs and takes her glasses off before finishing the ice cream.

0000

Kara doesn’t train with the DEO; in fact, she almost has no contact with them at all. Winn comes over every day and talks into her ear, telling where she is most needed. Other times they go over information together. Winn is trying to learn Kryptonian coding and Kara contemplates getting him an implant. Kal did it for his soulmate- his soul brother, Batman- why couldn’t she do it for Winn?

But she waits. Waits for him to get that strength he got in the first timeline. The one that says he didn’t need to ignore himself, that he should care about how he feels. And hopes she could do it better this time. Want to talk to him about it.

Not put him in a situation where he is forced to ‘get over it’.

She continues as Supergirl. She actually stops the fire this time, the one by the boat. She still does the other things. She lifts the ambulance; the numbers Winn tells her helping more than James’s ‘gently’. She still gets the snake out of the tree and she still goes with Alex when they find the Hellgrammite. She still tells them about it, but laughs when they try to stop her from helping.

“You’re the one helping me, remember?” Kara says to her sleeth, J’onn and Alex on the screen.

“I don’t need an amateur messing up my missions,” J’onn tells her.

“You still think I’m not capable,” Kara said, “Would you like to test me?”

“Actually I would,” J’onn said.

“Very well. I’ll send you the schematics for a red sun generator,” Kara said, “Put me and whomever you want me to fight on equal footing.”

“We have rooms with Kryptonite generators,” J’onn tells her.

“And here I thought you wanted me to fight someone, not come in to be tortured,” Kara tells him.

“What?” Alex said.

“Kryptonite burns away at my flesh like acid. Even at low intensity, it can kill me. It just takes longer. So unless your agent is willing to have volts of electricity course through them after taking an acid bath. I don’t plan on taking one step into those rooms,” Kara tells him, “Have a nice day director.”

Kara sends the plans and Alex tells them they will have something installed within the month. It still means they don’t trust her to fight the Hellgrammite, but Kara ignores them-

Astra was going to be there.

Kara talks to Kal about telling James and he looks properly scolded. James sends her flowers and an apology letter. She throws the flowers in the trash and sends a letter back with Winn, telling James to apologize to her face.

He does.

0000

Kara closes her eyes as she flys through the night sky, concentrating on finding Alex. She needed to make sure she was still the same place as last time. When she finds out that she still is, Kara speeds to the building.

She slams in, seeing Alex in the same position as the first time, “Alex.”

“Kara, no, it’s a trap!” Alex cried in terror.

Kara spins around, grabbing Astra’s fist just before it makes contact with her.

“Hello Astra,” Kara said as she lets go of the fist.

“It’s been a long time Little One,” Astra said as neither moved.

Kara looked at her for a few moments before turning around and moving to Alex. Alex’s eyes widen as Kara exposes herself to attack, but Kara just activated her x-ray vision to see if Alex was ok.

“ _I thought you dead_ ,” Kara said, switching to Kryptonese, “ _Mother came home one day and told me you died during a raid on Krypton._ ”

Kara stood up and looked at Astra. Astra had started moving around the room, keeping an eye on Kara. Neither women were relaxed, both waiting for the other to attack first.

“ _You were dead. Non was taken to an institution... that’s what I believed_ ,” Kara said, “ _Only to find out it was a lie_.”

“ _And what did you find_?” Astra asked. Not out of curiosity, but out of- anger? Annoyance? Kara wasn’t sure. Whenever she saw the older woman on Krypton she was always trying to seam put together, so calm, and happy. Kara never saw her upset or annoyed or anything…

Kara swept her hair behind her ear, displaying her head-dress more clearly, “ _I found out my mother was the one to send the both of you to Fort Rozz. I found out that you got life… I found out what you did to get your sentence… what made the High Council seal the records_ ,” Kara said and stared the woman in the eyes.

“ _We were trying to save Krypton_ ,” Astra told her.

“ _Yes_ ,” Kara said, shocking Astra, “ _Yes, you were trying to save Krypton… but how you aimed to do so- that was not the best choice_.”

“ _What other choice was there_!” Astra yelled, but Kara couldn’t answer, “ _Krypton was dying and our politicians just argued. I presented them with a solution and I was treated like a criminal_!”

“ _You think it was an easy decision_?” Kara said, “ _The High Council argued for weeks_ -”

“ _And they made their decision at the end… like you have_ ,” Astra said and walked over to Kara, placing her hand on Kara’s face, “ _I will not allow anyone to stop me this time- I allowed one planet to die, I will save this one_.”

“ _That’s the difference between you and me. You want to save the planet. I want to save the people on it_ ,” Kara told her.

Astra gave her a small half smile, half smirk as pity shown in her eyes. She believed Kara naïve, still seeing her as a child that needs to be taught-

Astra sped her body up, moving to slam Kara though the wall. Kara made her own body go faster, dunking down backward and sliding under Astra’s arm, her body close to the floor. Kara then pushed her body up, swinging her leg to kick Astra in the middle of her back with a focused force. She then pushed up from the ground with her other leg, swinging her body around as her first leg was still connected to Astra so she could use her free leg to kick Astra in the upper back using an echoed force.

After her second leg made contact Astra flew forward, crashing through several walls as Kara continued to spin her body so she could land back on her feet, her knees and waist bent as she landed.

**‘Because of our increased strength, depending on how we hit things different results can occur,’ Non told her. Kara tilted her head to the side as she watched him while sitting on the floor. In front of them was a large rock.**

**‘One. We can focus the force into a single space,’ Non said and turned to the rock. He pulled his fist back and then punched hard, punching a fist size hole in the rock.**

**‘Ooo,’ Kara said as she leaned forward slightly. Non took out his fist and turned back to her.**

**“The second is when we allow the force the spread out through the object,’ Non said and turned back to rock. He readied his fist again and punched again. Kara watched as he moved, trying to see if there was a difference in how he moved his body, but she couldn’t pick up anything. She watched as his fist made contact with the rock and shattered it.**

**‘Wow,” Kara said as she stood up.**

**‘There is a ‘grey scale’ between the two. This means you can control the intensity of the two different force transitions,’ Non told her, ‘But it is not just your actions that determine how the force will transmit. It also depends on the object your hitting.’**

**‘How?” Kara asked.**

**‘It is because everything has a different level of absorbing and reflecting energy,’ Non explained, ‘If I punched a pillow I wouldn’t very easily be able to focus the force of my punch, because?’**

**‘Because pillows absorb energy?’ Kara guessed.**

**‘Correct,’ Non said and Kara grinned at herself, ‘The opposite can be said for harder objects. Since they reflect the energy transfer, it much easier to spread the force.’**

**‘What about people?’**

**‘The body is similar. When you are relaxed your body doesn’t absorb as much of the force, but when you are tense you do,’ Non told her.**

**‘Is that why when I’m fighting you or Anya-Nar when we punch each other we don’t fly backward so much?’ Kara asked.**

**“Yes. Because your body anticipates the attack it is not easy for your opponent to spread the force behind their hits, but still possible,’ Non said.**

**‘By catching them off guard,’ Kara said.**

**‘Correct. By forcing your opponent away from you, you are able to give yourself a few moments to work on the rest of your attack,’ Non told her.**

**‘But how do you control the force behind your attacks?’ Kara asked.**

**‘That is what I am going to show you today,’ Non told her before moving to her and pulling her body into a position, ‘Now the first thing you do…**

Kara blinked away the memory and sped towards Astra. She didn’t use the echoed force to give her more time, but to get them both away from Alex. She didn’t want to get her older sister involved in the fight.

Kara landed as Astra got up, looking at her with narrowed eyes and said, “ _You surprise me Little One_.”

Kara said nothing as she reached up to her cape and with one motion removed it. She pushed off from the ground and sped towards Astra.

Fighting with Astra was like dancing. Mainly because most modern kryptonian fighting styles came from dancing. Non once said that when two kryptonians fight other races think it’s an exaggerated dance till they see the blood.

Because you know what your opponent is going to do you are more likely to block or evade then actually get hit. And in this case, it was so. After Kara’s double kick she hasn’t been able to land a hit or had a hit land on her.

Both she and Astra have only taken a few steps as they fought and even though their entire bodies were being used to attack, it wasn’t getting the fight anywhere. Unfortunately for Astra, Kara also knew how to fight like a human.

Anya hated it when she threw in ‘human moves’, but Non encouraged it.

**‘You surprise your opponent and can change the tempo of the fight.’**

Kara duck and rolled out of Astra attack before jumping to her feet. She then slammed her fist as hard as she could (no, not as hard as she could, but harder than her previous punches) to Astra’s shoulder.

CRACK

Kara jumped back as the sound filled the area. She didn’t mean to do that. She wanted to throw Astra off her tempo, not break her shoulder.

But she couldn’t concentrate on that now. Kara pushed from the ground and charged at Astra, knocking her to the ground. Kara saddled her and punch her a few times before Astra was able to get her off.

Kara rolled before looking up, realized Astra was struggling to get up. Without direct exposure to the sun, injuries like that took longer to heal. Kara pushed her power into her speed and quickly grabbed Astra by the neck and lifted her up. Kara made sure her hand was tight and holding her head still. If Astra did anything to try and get out of the hold she will cause her neck to break on her own.

“ _You fight like a kryptonian_ ,” Astra said as her hand grabbed Kara’s wrist.

“ _I am a kryptonian_ ,” Kara told her, “ _It doesn’t matter that I took a human name or have a human family. It doesn’t matter that I can walk among them and they think I’m one of them. It doesn’t even matter that I’m comfortable like that… I remember where I came from. I remember the past- the past that made me who I am… I don’t have to completely act kryptonian, to be one_.”

“DON’T MOVE!”

Kara moved her head to look what was coming towards her when Astra suddenly kicked her and broke out of her hold-

Oh. She must have loosened her grip when the noise startled her.

“ _This is not the end Little One_ ,” Astra said as she rubbed her neck, her eyes betraying her unease.

“ _I am not a child anymore Astra_ ,” Kara told her.

“ _No_ ,” Astra said, “ _You are not_.”

With that Astra jumped into the air, holding her broken arm with her good one, and broke through the ceiling.

Oh dear. Astra left without being stabbed by J’onn’s knife.

What will happen now?

“Supergirl,” J’onn shouted as he rushed to her, “Are you hurt?”

“No,” Kara said as J’onn turned to the other agents and told them to search the compound.

(She still remembers the look on his face as she purposely brought up a opssible family. Remembering the ones he lost when the white martins killed everyone. She doesn’t do it to hurt him, not really. She does it to make him understand that Alex isn’t just someone she calls her sister; she _was_ her sister. She would do anything for the older woman…and if something happened to her (again)… Kara would **burn** whoever was responsible. (Including herself))

“Any other family I need to worry about?” J’onn asked.

**‘No’** she said the first time. Still thinking, still believing Non was gone.

“Just Astra’s husband,” Kara tells him.

“And just how bad is he?” J’onn asked.

What a difficult question to answer. Were either Non or Astra even evil? After everything they’ve been through? What they did- what they really tried to do, not just the word on the official report.

Or was J’onn asking about their abilities?

“Non was Karda Marr vi’hlke,” Kara said, “Which basically means he was a strong enough fighter that he was placed on the First Squadron, third in command, right under General Zod and his mate.”

“So he’s dangerous,” J’onn said.

“Yes,” Kara said.

(She sits, her hood over her head and her mask over her lower face, as she watches Non fight. Astra had to take care of some things and had left her with Non for the afternoon. The being he fights is nearly 3 times his size in every direction and is so strong. The creature had spikes all over him and large sharp teeth. It was a mossy brown/green color and its roar sounds like underwater gurgles.

Several other kryptonians were to the side, most injured as Hev-Zu treated them. They had all gone up against the beast and all that come back injured. It wasn’t a real fight, but a practice- but so different from what Kara went through with Alex.

Non had stepped into the ring and when he started to fight- Kara wondered if she would have ever been able to beat him. He was strong, almost a brute as he charged at his opponent. He knew where to hit and how hard and… and it was capturing to watch.)

“Yes,” Kara repeated as she watched one of the agents help Alex towards them.

“Agent Danvers,” J’onn said and Alex nods at him.

“The Hellgrammite’s dead sir,” Alex tells him and Kara turns away from them.

The Hellgrammite wasn’t hurting anyone, or at least she didn’t think it wanted to hurt anyone. This was it’s food source. A food source that was diminishing… if they had captured it, offered it food and just talked to it- to _him_ \- wouldn’t he have been willing to help them? Wouldn’t he have changed his ways? But now they would never know.

Kara glances at Alex and sees that dead look in her eyes. The one Kara’s seen before. The one that said she didn’t want to kill anyone, but didn’t have a choice.

Alex was a soldier. A proper one. Willing to do the things that were… needed.

Then again… so was Kara.

000000000

Extra:

Astra sat on the bench and flexed her hand. Next to her, Hev-Zu was putting away a device that could emit the yellow sun’s radiation.

She had not expected the fight between her and Kara to end like that. She expected to easily overpower the young girl, but that was not so. Kara was stronger than Astra expected, and not just in power alone.

Lady El.

Astra always knew Kara would inherit the Ladyship, but she thought it would be years in the future. That she would be well in her 8th decade before Kara received the honor.

“It seems Kara-El is not what we expected,” Non said as he moved towards her.

Astra was thankful for the low light, for it was still hard to look at the face of the man who betrayed her.

“Yes…” Astra said.

“Is there something the matter General?” Non asked.

“She fights like you,” Astra tells him. She thought that the moment they started fighting. She hesitated several times because every time she thought she was fighting Non…

“How is that possible,” Non asked her.

“It seems the ‘honorable Lady El’ has more secrets then we expected,” Astra said, “Have someone follow her… we need to know everything about her.”

“Understood,” Non said and walked away.


	11. The Writing on the Wall  Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The interview with Cat goes extremely different. Non acts weird and Kara tells him she knows everything.  
> And Reactron is easy to stop.
> 
> Author's Note* I am so sorry. I thought I posted this last week, but ended up only saving it as a draft. I never realized.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Writing on the Wall Part 2  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape (actually not some much in this chapter)  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 35

Kara remembered sitting with Winn and James while they planned the interview with Ms. Grant. They wanted to use a neutral location, one where Ms. Grant didn’t have the ‘upper hand’ but also one where Kara didn’t seem threatening. At least not too much. She needed to appear powerful, but not so much that she could be seen as a danger.

This time, ‘this’ Kara doesn’t know anything about Cat’s empty threat to James about firing him if she didn’t get her interview. James doesn’t tell her and she never have the conversation with him. Never tells him ‘Stronger Together’-

(Can she still stand by that? Now that she hides so much from everyone. Now that she does everything on her own. Try to right wrongs like some god while everyone else are like ants to be commanded and ruled-

 **‘You could be a Queen. They will worship you.’** )

-or tells him that relying on others isn’t wrong, isn’t weak. This time Winn calls her frantically after Alex tells her about her Mother’s V.I, the one she can’t make herself look at. He tells her that James was packing his things, believing he was going to lose his job and-

Kara pushes all her power into her speed and watches the world slow down till it almost stops. Noise stretch out till there nothing but background noise, filtered down with the rest.

It almost impossibly quiet, reminding her of the time in her pod. The loneliness. The isolation. She hated it- still hated it.

Kara takes a deep breath as she walks through the Cat’s balcony doors. She sees the woman looking frantic as she types things onto her computer. She looks exhausted and overworked.

As no one else was around- or even in the building except security- Kara knew she safe to do the interview.

She walks to the couch and sat down, crossing her legs and throwing her arms over the back of the seat. She throws her hair away from her headdress, making sure it was in clear view.

Only then did she pull her power away, watching as everything speed up, the loud ringing on phones coming through. Cat sneered at whatever she was working on and looked ready to throw it out the window.

“You’re here late,” Kara said, her voice taking on an old accent, the one she had so many years ago when she first arrived on the planet. The one she worked so hard to break herself out off.

Cat Grant pretty much jumped up, her finger going to the silent alarm under her desk before she realized who was in her office. Kara tilted her head slightly, a small smirk on her face as Cat tried to compose herself.

“My assistant is gone for a week,” Cat tells her and Kara only raises an eyebrow.

“An assistant is-”

“I know what an assistant is Cat Grant,” Kara said as she remembers both her parents having assistants following them around while they worked.

Cat was quiet for a moment before moving to her alcohol, “Would you like a glass. Or is there a whole don’t drink and fly thing.”

Kara chuckled, “Nothing on that shelf would affect me.”

“I see,” Cat said and grabbed herself a drink before moving to the opposite couch. She sits down, pretending like she wasn’t still disheveled. She, like Kara, crossed her legs, her empty hand on her knee.

“I see James Olsen was able to get in contact with you,” Cat said, a smirk on her face.

“No,” Kara said and pushed her power into her speed again. To Cat’s eyes, she suddenly appeared behind her, taking one of the most expensive bottles and pouring herself a drink. Cat whiles around, looking at Kara with wide eyes, “I heard you were looking for me… and I came to tell you I’m not your lap dog. Other than today I will not come when you call. I will not fall to my knees like a good little mutt, begging for scraps. I do not belong to you, Cat Grant.”

Cat stood up, her eyes hard, “I gave you a name. I branded you. You will forever be linked to CatCo- to me.”

“Perhaps,” Kara said and swallowed some of her drink, “But all you have is a shadow.”

“Just who do you think you are,” Cat asked as she moved towards Kara.

“I am Lady _Kara_ -El,” Kara said, pronouncing her name like it was a single syllable, “I am Head of the Great and Honourable House of El. The highest House of Krypton.”

Cat paused then, her mind going over the information, “What does that mean.”

“Mostly exactly what I said. I lead the House of El. It is called Great for it is known as the most important house on Krypton. It is called Honourable for it leads the Science Guild, one of five guilds on Krypton,” Kara said, “And when I say House, it is equivalent to a noble family in your history, or the importance of a country in modern times.”

Cat was quiet again before drowning the last of her drink. She moved to get more as Kara walked to one of the figures in Cat’s office, running her finger over it.

“Are you willing to answer questions,” Cat asked.

“Am I willing to have an interview?” Kara responded, “I have no issue with such… As long as you keep away from sexist questions.”

**‘Any plans to start a family?’**

She hated that question. She felt like she was being shoved into a category just because she was a woman. The question itself was also very difficult. Not just now, but even if Krypton was still around. Females… carrying a child was hard. It was damaging to the body and more than half children that were conceived naturally died within the first two months of gestation. Those that do make it to term… it was possible for both the mother and child to die, or even either to perish. Only 5% of children that were born naturally were born without complications and even less with both mother and child alive.

_‘May this Curse become a Blessing.’_

A common phrase on Krypton for women who become pregnant.

“Very well,” Cat said as she searched for her phone on her desk. Kara watched for several moments, forcing herself not to help the woman, before sitting back down.

Kara still crossed her legs, but brought her arms forward as one hand still held her drink. Eventually, Cat came to sit across from her. She placed the phone down, letting the recorder run while she noted a few things down on a piece of paper. Kara glanced at it, her mouth twitching when she saw her name not even resembling what it should be.

“So. You are from Krypton,” Cat said clearly, “What is your society like.”

“I do not think your planet has an equivalent,” Kara said, “We were a Matriarchy for over two millennia before that changed to what we have- had.”

“So you we a Matriarchy? Does that mean you believed woman were above men?” Cat asked.

“We did. There was actually a point in our history where men were walked around on collars and leashes like humans walk dogs,” Kara said, smirking at the wide eyes look, “But that’s illegal now, no matter how much ‘traditionalist’ wish otherwise.”

“So it doesn’t happen anymore?” Cat asked.

“Not if the male doesn’t consent,” Kara said with amusement as she took a sip of her drink, “We had Queens near the end of that period. Queens that eventually ruled the entire planet. Our Last Queen- Queen _Kara_ the Merciless killed all her advisors after they had her lover publically executed. The story goes that the blood ran down the steps of the temple and through the streets. Not correct obviously. She had no more than 15 advisors and while I could believe their blood ran down the steps of the temple, they couldn’t possibly run through the streets.”

“You were named after your last Queen?” Cat asked.

“No. I was named after a deity, as was she,” Kara said, “Her daughter tried to take the throne, but Rao – our god- did not answer her call-”

“In a ceremony?” Cat asked.

“Yes.”

“What happens in this ceremony?”

“Um… A lot of things, mainly dancing- unusually in an active fire.”

“I’m sorry?

“It wasn’t a fire-fire. It was … Gar-do hlv’li ash. The closest translation is Spiritual Flame I think.”

“How does that work?”

“I don’t know. I wasn’t part of the Priestesshood.”

“You had Priests?”

“Yes, the Religious Guild.”

“You said there were five guilds.”

“Yes. In order of importance, it was the Science Guild, the Military Guild, the Religious Guild- sometimes referred to as the Justice Guild- the Artisan Guild, and the Labour Guild.”

“I see.”

“As I was saying,” Kara said, bring them back to the previous topic, “These guilds did actually exist during the last Queen’s reign. After she died It was decided that a leader would be picked from each and they would have a council. Two hundred years later there was civil war. At first, it was only between those who wished to see a Queen return and those who were happy with what we had, but opinions grew, wants were made public and gained favor till eventually the war spread over the whole planet and involved around 15 different factions.

After only 4 years a single faction was victorious. This faction had 5 Houses. And these five houses were given each of the five guilds to command. The House of El was given the Science Guild. The House of Zod took the Military Guild. The House of Vax asked to continue to lead the Religious Guild. The House of Ak took the Artisan Guild and the House of Or was given the Labour Guild.

Other Houses survived and they were divided among the guilds, subservient to the Nobel houses. In total, we had about 27 Houses. Most of them small, for the war took its toll.

Each of the Guilds had it’s own Council and the leaders of the five Houses formed the High Council. At first the position was given from parent to child, but eventually, it came to that while the child would have a president, if the other High Council members believed they were not doing a good job they were replaced by someone else- still from the Honourable house of course.

Laws were passed unanimously and every Council member could lead a session.”

“You said the House of El was the Great house,” Cat mentioned.

“We pretended to be equal. But the House that gave the most advancement to Krypton’s future was more respected. Great House isn’t an official title. It is a title lower House members gave to the House of El in mockery,” Kara told her.

“Yet you use it,” Cat said.

“We owned the title,” Kara said with an arrogant smirk, “Everyone uses it.”

“I see,” Cat said, obviously impressed. “So your society was something of an Authoritarian.”

“Yes,” Kara agreed.

“Obviously you have space travel. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here,” Cat said, “When did you get space travel?”

“We started before the Last Queen, but we only got proper space travel- like your star trek- about a three decades after the Civil War. That was about 1400- 1500 years ago,” Kara told them.

“And obviously there are other inhabited planets in the universe,” Cat said.

“Yes,” Kara said, narrowing her eyes.

“So why were you and Superman sent to Earth? Why not another planet, if there were other planets. Why our planet, with our yellow sun that gives you your powers?” Cat asked.

Lie.

Kara wanted to snort at her thoughts. There was no chance she would tell the truth in this situation. But the question was what lie and how?

“Krypton had 4 established colonies on planets outside our solar system and about 16 exploratory vessels and then 4 War-Ships that were sent to one of our ally planets. There is an estimate of 30,000 to 50,000 kryptonations still alive today,” Kara said, “And we were supposed to go to one of the colonies. I still remember climbing into my pod while my uncle placed K- Superman into his. Superman’s ship had the co-ordnance, while my ship was linked to his. I suspected his navigation was damaged and we fell to Earth. We didn’t know about the yellow sun.”

Mostly a lie. The colonies and ships do exist or at least they existed… Kara needs to look into that.

“So you and Superman are cousins?” Cat said, acting like the cat that got the cream- and how many times have people said that to her?

“Biologically,” Kara said, “Legally… he’s my son. I was given custody of him before we left Krypton.”

“He’s older then you,” Cat said, confused.

“Chronologically he’s not,” Kara said, “I was born 12 years before him.”

“So why do you appear younger than him?”

“My pod was launched after his and thus was caught in the explosion…I saw my planet cave in, saw it explode,” Kara trailed off before shaking her head, “The energy released from the explosion sent my pod into an interspace dimension called the Phantom Zone. Their time didn’t move, a person was essentially caught in a single moment in time… I was there for 24 years before I escaped- before I landed on earth.”

“What was that like? Being on another planet?” Cat asked.

“Strange… I was lucky though. I look human enough; look American enough that I was taken in. First by an orphanage and then adopted by people who loved and cared for me… they never even knew what I was- still don’t,” Kara said, lying at the end. She really had no intention of letting Cat Grant learn her identity.

“You said you were lucky. What did you mean by that?” Cat asked.

“Not every alien looks human,” Kara tells her and drowns the last of her drink, “Many Off-Worlders look like the begins from your horror stories… like the monsters you scare children with. Do you honestly think people would be so welcoming if I looked like that? If I didn’t look like some blond cheerleader?”

“No,” Cat said and Kara watched as her mask fell into place. The one she wore when she was affected by what she heard, but had no intention of letting it show.

“Your race rejects people based on the color of their skin or where they were born on you world…how would they accept someone with spike growing out of them, or even something simple as ridges on their forehead? The other day I had to save a young girl from a man attacking her just because her skin was orange… something tells me, Cat Gant, that when it comes to Human-Alien confrontations, I’m going to spend more time saving the alien than the human.”

“That’s a bit racist, isn’t it?” Cat said.

“My words are based on experience Cat Grant, nothing more,” Kara told her.

“I see,” Cat said and wrote down several things before tapping her lip with her pen, thinking of questions to ask, “The people of National City are starting to see you as a hero. How does that make you feel?”

“I’m not a hero. I’m a soldier and someone who is trying to do the right thing… I’ve lived in ignorance for so long on this planet- thinking only of my own troubles and issues, but not any more… I’m here to help, I have to help,” Kara said, “I have no intention of being a lapdog Cat Grant… but I am willing to work with you… my actions wouldn’t always make sense- cultural misunderstandings and such, but if you are willing to listen to me…”

“Then we can work together,” Cat said.

Kara watched as Cat gripped her pen tighter. Despite everything, her mannerisms and harsh words, she and Cat are alike. They both want to help people. And this, these interviews no one else will have, that was just an icing on the cake.

“I’ll have to talk with my legal team, but I think we can work out an agreement,” Cat said and Kara smiled, her sharp k-9’s glinting from the overhead light.

0000

Kara tied her hair back as she stood by the parking lot. She could still hear Cat Grant scratching away at her note-pad, making plans.

“Kara?” James said, a box of his things in his hands.

“Go put that back,” Kara said, rolling her eyes, “I did the interview.”

“I never-”

“Winn told me,” Kara told him.

“I didn’t ask you for help,” James said.

“You also didn’t need it,” Kara told him, “She can’t fire you over something like that. Not without getting legal involved.”

“So why did you help?” James asked.

“Because I wanted to,” Kara said.

“I don’t believe you,” James said and Kara smiled slightly.

“I wanted her to know I wasn’t going to come at every beck and call, no matter who does it,” Kara told him, “I did the interview, but that was more for… something else.”

“Still,” James said.

“On Krypton we’re taught that to ask for help wasn’t a shame, but an honor,” Kara told him.

“This isn’t Krypton,” James said.

“No…James… I’m never going to be the person you think I should be. But I am willing to work with you. I’m not my cousin. He is so used to being on his own… I- I didn’t grow up with that kind of belief and I don’t want to adopt it… El mayarah. That’s what this means,” Kara said as she tapped her chest, indicating to the ‘S’ crest beneath her civilian clothes, “Stronger Together.”

“You’re right,” James said after a moment, “You’re nothing like I expected you to be, but- but I’m willing to- I want to know you, who you are.”

Kara smiled, “Thank you.”

James smiled and heaved his box higher as he started to struggle under the weight, “I guess I better get this back to my office.”

“Do you need help?” Kara asked.

James was quiet for a moment before nodding slowly and his smile turning uncertain, “I’d like that.”

Kara smiled even wider as she took the box from his hands.

0000

Kara almost didn’t turn on the news the next day, but decided to do so before heading to the Fortress to look up information on any other Kryptonians that survived Krypton’s destruction.

“…Cat Grant, CEO of Catco Media, is reporting that Supergirl and Superman are in fact related,” the reported said as Kara turned to the news.

Good. That will bring Reactron out of hiding.

Kara pushed the remote to her lips, realizing she was going to have to put a pause on her search. She was going to need something that could contain the nuclear core as well as something that could scan an area as it was being affected by the core.

She still needed to find out what was causing her to loop through time. The Fortress has already confirmed that she was still surrounded by the temporal radiation, but had no idea of the source.

She could have been affected at any time during her period as Supergirl. Now she just had to find a source.

0000

Kara bluffed her way through talking with Kal over the interview. She told him everything she told Cat, lying about her intentions. In reality, she needed the alien Community to know she was here, and that she was willing to fight. She needed to get the Intergalactic Council’s attention and she needed to get Reactron.

To Kal, she said she wanted to be seen as her own person… that she wasn’t going to shy away from her kryptonian roots while she was ‘Supergirl’.

After that, she was able to get the blueprint of a device that was quite common on Krypton. It was a bracelet that acted like a portable computer. It had a similar function to a sleeth, but did need an implant to work. It’s screen, or screens, were similar to a hologram, but allowed you to touch and work on it like a touchscreen. It could also be fitted with a scanner.

Kara then spent the rest of her morning building that. Finishing in time for the pile-up where Reactron attacks.

Kara snapped the device on her left arm and flew off.

0000

Kara pulled the people out of the cars, speeding them to the paramedics nearby. She looked around, half her attention on her hearing as she tried to find Reactron. She noticed him only seconds before he fires the radiation at her. She knew she couldn’t dodge, less the attack hit one of the humans.

Kara hissed as her back slammed against one of the cars. It didn’t really hurt, feeling more like a hard slap than anything else. But the sudden sensation did surprise her.

Standing up, she looked at the man in front of her. He was filled with rage, hatred, and sorrow. She wished she could help him, but knew that right now wasn’t the time. She needed to concentrate on the people- make sure they remained safe.

“Reactron,” Kara said calmly.

“You know who I am,” Reactron said, “I know who you are too. The Man of Steel’s little cousin.”

“Older actually,” Kara said, surprising the humans that heard her, “I will only say this once. Stand down.”

Reactron laughed, “Not even Superman can stop me. Do you really think a little girl like you can?”

Kara sneered and pushed her power into her speed. She appeared in front of Reactron and punched him, making him fly back. She sped up again before saddling him and grabbing his wrists, breaking the hand connections to the radiation.

“Don’t compare my species with yours,” Kara said before punching him hard in the face.

Too soft, Kara thought as he blasted her of him. Kara activated her flight before speeding up again, hissing when her muscles started to protest.

She reappeared behind the man, wrapping her arm around his neck and squeezing, making sure his chest was pointed at the sky. He grabbed at her arms, trying to get her off him, but Kara just hanged on, squeezing tighter. She knew she couldn’t go too tight. She was trying to block off his airflow, not kill him.

His attempts got weaker and weaker as his heart started to slow down. Kara felt him go limp, hearing his lungs stomp moving. She let him go, waiting for his lungs to start up again before moving to the cars.

Kara looked around, activating her x-ray vision to find a source of lead. A few people walked to her, but she held up her hand, indicating them to back away. She finally found a small structure with lead in it. She flew as fast as she could, breaking off a part before returned to Reactron.

She held the metal over his chest piece before activating her heat vision, melting the lead right into the cavern holding the radioactive material. The lead dripped to the back before coming around eventually covering the whole thing.

Kara then broke of the chest piece. She needed it after all.

“It’s safe,” Kara called, making sure to use her accent. The paramedics came forward, taking the man. The words ‘he’s alive’ are called out and they bring a gurney. The police come over, but don’t interfere. They look at the object in her hands, but no one asked for it, nor did she offer it.

She stepped away, making sure to allow the humans to crowd her. She smiled and accepted the hugs and handshakes. A few people commented on her accent, but other people reminded them that she was an alien before she could.

She quickly apologized, saying she had to get to other things before flying off.

0000

Kara walked around the old garbage heap, one hand extended as her device scanned the area while the other handheld another device, the uncovered radioactive material inside. The material was sending out the radioactive rays, hitting the junk around her as she scanned them.

Kara theorized that the radioactivity reacted with something in the junkyard and thus affected her. It was a long shot, seeing as Kal, Max, and Reactron haven’t suffered the same fate as she did.

Kara tensed when someone landed behind her. Turning slightly, she was surprised to find Non. That’s twice now that he came to her. He never did that in the original timeline. However, seeing as both he and Astra knew where she lived it was correct to say that they had people watching her, knowing everything about her.

Non even knew who her friends were, despite never meeting them.

Where things different in this timeline? And why?

“Hello Non,” Kara said before turning back to the holographic screens in front of her.

“You are not going to attack?” Non asked, his body tense.

“The only reason I attacked Astra was because she was a treat to my soulmate,” Kara said, turning off her scanner and facing Non fully, “I don’t want to fight you.”

“Yet I am one of the Fort Rozz criminals,” Non said, trying rail her up, “Aren’t you suppose to fight me?”

Kara raised an eyebrow, “Non, I’ve seen the case Krypton had against you and Astra. At _most_ you should have been sentenced for the willful destruction of government property and accidental deaths of those inside and you specifically for the 3 rd-degree murder.”

Non looked away before narrowing his eyes at her, “Is that all?”

“You’re asking about Myriad?” Kara said and she saw the man tense. Kara sighed, closing her eyes to rub them before looking at Non again, “I can’t say I agree with Myriad, but I do understand why you were willing to consider the action.”

“You understand nothing,” Non sneered at her.

“Back against the wall. _Knowing_ that there isn’t any other option? Our government didn’t believe you- they had you completely discredited so that no one would believe you,” Kara said, “You knew our planet was on its way to destruction and there was nothing you could do… So you came up with a last resort- And a last resort is never ethical.”

Non looked at her, his eyes wide, “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that if I was on the council I wouldn’t have sentenced you for Myriad- I’m saying that if I was in your position- that utterly hopeless situation without any ethical solution- I would have made the same choice,” Kara told him.

“What?” Non asked, his voice coming out like a whisper.

“I don’t condemn you, any of you, for the choice you made trying to save our planet,” Kara said.

“Then why do you fight to stop us?” Non ask, “Why do you ally yourself with the humans?”

“Because they're not there yet Non. They still have time before the last resort,” Kara tells him, taking a few steps forward, “That and I believe you and Astra have lost sight of your goal.”

“Our goal is to save this planet,” Non told her.

“That’s where you lost sight,” Kara said, “Your plan was to save the people of Krypton. To do so you had to stabilize the planet. Here… Non, here you and Astra seam to disregard the very lives you’re trying to save. It’s no longer about the people- just the planet.”

Non frowned as he looked at her, “Saving the planet-”

“Is not the same as saving the people by stabilizing the planet. You can kill everyone on this planet and ‘save’ it and you would have accomplished your goal,” Kara told him-

**“Your aunt wanted to save this planet. The humans' extinction will do just that.”**

-“If you worked- if you remembered that the goal was to save people I wouldn’t try to stop you. If you don’t ally yourself with those that wish to destroy humans or cause them harm in any way, I will help you, but that’s not the case- Non, I’m not against you, I’m against your methods.”

“I see,” Non said, “Nothing I say will change your mind.”

“Nothing you or Astra can say- can ‘pretty up’ what you're trying- will change my mind.”

Kara watched as Non muttered ‘pretty up’ as he tilted his head slightly.

Suddenly Kara wondered what Non and Astra did the last twelve years while on earth. Did they stay on the planet? Did they integrate themselves with the humans around them? Did they try to have lives? What did they do?

She wanted to ask, but knew he wouldn’t give her the answer. Why didn’t she ask back when she was on their side? She spent so much time trying to remember a planet that no longer existed then remember the people she spoke to daily.

Kara didn’t even realize Non was leaving till she felt him push into the air, leaving without even so much as a goodbye. She wants to pretend that she got through to him, made him see reason, but she doubted it.

Taking a deep breath, Kara turned her scanner back on and went back to scanning her surroundings. She paused, closing her eyes as she forced herself to remember that the man she knew, the man that trained her, no longer existed.

0000

Kara walked into CatCo the next day; a week after her became Supergirl, to a very quiet office. She could see the sweat pouring off people as they glanced at Cat, who was in her office. She was still wearing the same clothes she did when Kara gave the interview-

Had she been here the entire time?

“Your latte Ms. Grant,” Kara said, setting the cup next to the woman. Cat jumped as she looked up, her mouth forming words without thinking.

“You’re fi- Oh, Kiera. You’re back,” Cat said.

“Yes, Ms. Grant. It’s been a week,” Kara said.

Cat frowned before looking at the latte, waving her hand at it, “Take that away. I want a Bulletproof Coffee. It’s supposed to improve memory.”

Kara raised an eyebrow at the woman, “Ms. Grant. To be honest I think you need sleep.”

“Don’t tell me what I need,” Cat said, glaring at Kara.

“Ms. Grant. When was the last time you went home?” Kara asked, already knowing the answer.

“I have an article to write about Kiera. An exclusive interview with Supergirl,” Cat sneered, standing up. Kara could here as people stopped doing what they were doing, all of them listening to the two women, “The information she gave me- everything she’s planning on saying in the future. CatCo will be linking to Supergirl is ways no one else will ever be. We will be Supergirl’s voice-”

“Why Supergirl?” Kara asked, interrupting the woman.

“Excuse me?” Cat asked, more surprised by what Kara did then her question.

“Superman was never Superboy. Why infantilize a female kryptonian? By using the word girl you’ve told people she’s less than Superman, that she is helpless and weak and in need of protection. By using girl you’ve basically said she is nothing but a child. You never call a man a boy, even young male children are called ‘little man’ instead of boys. By doing that to a woman you're disrespecting her, patronizing her and depowering what she is. Woman aren’t female children, Ms. Grant. We’re not children,” Kara said, “So I ask, please explain to me- Why Super _girl_?”

Cat looked at her, gaping. Kara wondered if she was going to be fired again, but the older woman surprised her by closing her laptop and gathering her things.

“Kiera, clear my schedule for the rest of the day. I will be back later in the evening to approve the layout for tomorrows issue. Ensure everyone has everything ready by that time,” Cat said as she walked with her head high to the elevator.

“Yes Ms. Grant,” Kara said, not turning around.

She stayed where she was till she heard the elevator close. Only then did she turn around and walk to her desk. She sat down and opened her tablet, patiently waiting for everyone to go back to work. After several minutes of everyone just staring at her, she looked up and glared.

“Are we on a break?” Kara asked, her leveled voice carrying easily through the silent floor.

As one everyone turned back to their work, a few of them sneaking glances at her.

“Wow. What happened to her?” Kara heard someone say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 000000  
> End.  
> Krypton’s History: Other than the Guilds, everything else I made up. We don’t really have much information on Krypton’s history, so I figured out some kind of timeline with my belief that Krypton was originally a Matriarchy then an Equal society.  
> Kara being Mary Sue: We’ve see just how strong Kara can be. We’ve see just how strong Kryptonians in general are. With Kara learning how to completely control her powers she is able to use them in specific ways. Yes, she can still be beaten, I’m getting there, but for now everyone is underestimating her. Whether it’s because she’s just starting out, her age, or her gender. She’s proving she’s stronger then they assume, but she is not all powerful. Kara isn’t afraid of her powers anymore. That’s the main point.  
> Authoritarian - Rule by authoritarian governments is identified in societies where a specific set of people possess the authority of the state in a republic or union. It is a political system controlled by unelected rulers who usually permit some degree of individual freedom.  
> The Girl thing: I have to give this credit to a post I read on Tumblr. It described my feelings to the name Supergirl so well. I understand that it’s always been her name. Even in the comics Earth-2 Kara-L is called Powergirl, despite the fact that she is older than Earth-1 Kara. Kara in the comics is more often than not still a teenager when she starts. But here she’s 24 years old. She’s an adult, not a child. I understand that the show couldn’t just change her name, especially concerning it’s a title of the show, but I don’t know. The use of girl just annoys me.  
> But my point is, Kara isn’t a child and in this timeline, she’s going to make sure people realize that.


	12. The Writing on the Wall Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy was never really a friend, Kara never trusted Max and he never trusted her. Being Alien was wrong, evil and only humans, or pretending to be human, made you the good guy-  
> Kara rejects it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Writing on the Wall Part 3  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 35

“‘The Refugee from Krypton’,” James read as he sat across from Kara and Winn. They were at the alien bar, Kara wanting to show James the environment.

“‘We forget that kryptonians didn’t come to earth to be our heroes, but instead to survive. These kryptonians, and many other alien races, have lost their homes, their cultures, and their history. They are refugees on this planet. Thus, we at CatCo will not only report on Supergirl, the hero of National City, but on the ‘Woman from Krypton’,” James continued to read.

“I like the article,” Kara tells them as James continues to scan the page.

“It talks about Krypton’s social structure and what ‘Supergirl’ was in it,” James said and Kara nodded.

“Did you see how she spelled my name?” Kara asked as she tried not to laugh.

“K-H-A-R-H-A,” James said, “She also mentions that it sounds like one syllable.”

“Yes. I’m surprised she picked up on that,” Kara said.

“Is that how you really pronounce your name?” Winn asked before sipping his drink.

“Yeah-” Kara felt her blood freeze when Grev walked into her view.

Kara had imagined meeting him so many times. She’s imagined shoving her hand through his chest. She’s imagined ripping out his heart or breaking every bone in his body, ending with his neck. She’s imagined ripping out his intestines and choking him with them.

She wishes that’s what happened.

Instead, her hands felt clammy as her body refuses to move. She felt some kind of pressure on her body while her stomach turned, threatening to expel everything she’s eaten. Her heart pounds and her mind screamed at her-

She needed to leave.

She needed to run, but she couldn’t move.

“Get me out of here,” Kara begged as her voice broke-

**‘Oh. Fuck! You feel so great! Come on m’lady, scream for me!’**

“Kara?” Winn asked, exchanging looks with James.

“Please,” Kara said, her eyes still on Grev, “I need- I have to get out.”

**‘Oh, come now. I thought to female kryptonians like your power! I heard you even tie your male up before sex. How does it feel to be nothing but a bitch?’**

“Come on,” James said to Winn and they grabbed her by the arms-

Kara wants to scream. She wants to grab Grev by the throat and kill him. But she couldn’t.

**She tries to look away, but Grev turns her back to him, shoving two fingers into her mouth. She wants to bit down, break them off but he re-sheaths himself into her suddenly, drawing her attention.**

**Her body doesn’t react. She gains no pleasure and a small part of her wishes she could, to at least blanket the pain. She feels dirty for thinking that.**

**…**

**‘Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Grev muttered as he moved in and out of her. He pulls out suddenly and turns her on her hands and knees. Her mind howls in protest, she wasn’t some bitch to be taken!**

**‘Good bitch. I’m going to breed you. I would have loved keeping you just for that- oh fuck yes-’ Grev muttered and Kara wants to buck him of her. There were just too many hands.**

**‘Let me go,’ Kara muttered and Grev laughs.**

**The hands wrap around her arms and she tries to pull away but her body just feels so weak.**

**‘Don’t touch me,’ Kara said, ‘Don’t-**

-touch me,” Kara said as she struggled uselessly as two voices, neither Grev, called to her.

“Please. Just let me go,” Kara said and finally pulled one arm free. She wants to hit the thing away from her, but her arm felt like lead.

“I’ll kill you, you fucking bastard,” Kara said and swings her lose arm at the other person. Her hand hits it and she’s finally free. She wants to run, but her knees give away and she falls to the floor.

“Kara! Kara!” the voices scream again, but Kara just covers her ears.

Why couldn’t he just leave her alone!

(She shudders as the hands brush all over her body. She closes her eyes and it keeps happened, nothing stopping it, not even the sweat release of not-death. She just wants it all to end!)

“Kara! Please. It’s me, Winn,” the voice screams. No. Winn was in prison- No. Wait-

“Winn?” Kara said softly before looking up. Winn is kneeling in front of her, his hands hovering over her, not touching her at all.

“Yeah. Kara. It’s me. Come back to us,” Winn tells her and she slowly lowers her hands.

The smell hits her first. The heavy stuffy smell that couldn’t be accounted to one thing. It was just so many smells in one. Then she sees the soft orange lights, peeking out from the darkness. The sounds are next. Voices upon voices talking over each other, all muffled behind a door. She hears the cars as they drove fast, honking at each other.

“Where?” Kara asked.

“We’re outside the Bar,” Winn tells her and she looks around, gasping when she saw James standing up from where she threw him.

“You suddenly freaked out,” Winn continued, “And-and- Kara. What happened?”

Lie.

Kara knew she couldn’t tell the truth. She couldn’t tell them how weak she was. That she couldn’t even save herself from something so-so- small.

(She listens as Jenna tells them what happened. They sit in the dark, curtains pulled closed and she whispers. Kara wants to throw her arms around her friend, but the others tell her she’s overreacting. They remind her she was dating Josh and that they have had sex before. It was his right to demand sex. Kara wants to intervene, tell them that’s wrong, but Jenna’s eyes dim and she agrees.

Two weeks later she hangs herself.)

“Flashback,” Kara tells them, looking away, “Of laving Krypton. Being stuck in my pod.”

“That’s not what it sounded like,” James said as he walked over to them.

Kara glares at him as Winn intervenes, “You were begging us to let you go.”

Kara looks away before pushing herself up. She looks around as sees her handbag, grabbing it before walking off.

“Kara!” the boys shout as they run after her. Winn grabs her and she allows him to turn her around.

“Kara, you can tell us anything,” Winn said, looking her straight in the eye.

Yes. She could tell them anything, but it how they react that… she doesn’t what them to tell her it’s her fault. That she should just have slept with him. That she had to because they were dating. She doesn’t want to hear those words from their lips-

She doesn’t what to realize she can’t trust them.

“Not this time,” Kara said, pulling her hand out of his hold and pushing off from the ground.

00000

When she gets back to her apartment the next morning-

(She flies high above. Not just National City, but so many others and she listens. Listens to the very words she once yelled. She hears so, so many people shouting-begging the same things. She speeds through, throwing the attacker off before grabbing the victim, speeding them miles away and going to the next one. She goes back after the first round, grabbing every attacker and dropping them off at the police stations.)

\- she finds her answering machine full of messages from Winn and James. The first few they are begging her to call them, and then the messages change as the reports of her very specific saving spree reaches the ears of the media.

She listens as they tell her it wasn’t her fault, that it was the bastard that hurt her. They tell her how strong she is for surviving, for standing back up. She listens as they tell her they were still there if she needed to talk.

She spends her entire shower crying.

But Kara walks into CatCo, every news story talking about what Supergirl had done the previous day, with her head held high. She sees James and Winn standing by Winn’s desk, looking up at the screens as Cat yells at people to get into her office.

They see her and all she can do is give a small smile-reliefhappynessthankfullsaftytrust- and they smile back.

For now, it’s enough.

0000

“Lucy Lane,” Lucy said and Kara smiles as she takes the woman’s hand. She tries to forget as she holds the woman by the neck, threatening to rip her arm off. But her wide-eyed look comes back as Lucy gasps for breath. Kara blinks several times as the image layers over the present.

“Kara Danvers,” Kara said and smiled at the woman, “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Jimmy talks about me?” Lucy asks.

“No,” Kara said and turned to James, “Ms. Grant wants the layouts.”

She then turns around and walks away. She hears Lucy ask James about her, but James just tells her that Kara was always like that.

Kara didn’t lie. Kara knew she never knew the real Lucy Lane. First seeing her as competition for James, then the enemy as she works with her father, then her boss.

This time will be different. Kara was determined to tell Lucy as quickly as she can. She wants the woman to be part of the ‘super-friends’. She wants to learn who she really was.

Kara’s smile drops as her phone goes off. She looks at it and scowls as she sees its another person from the party Kara was forced to plan. The launch of the Supergirl story.

At least this time Reactron wouldn’t interfere.

0000

Maxwell Lord still sends drones after her and Ms. Grant still wins the Siegel Prize for Women in Media. Kara still takes in Carter for the night, but that’s where it all ends.

Kara lands on Maxwell’s balcony after she stops the drone. She doesn’t destroy it this time, merely flips the switch. She knocks, drawing the man’s attention. He had that annoying smirk on his face as he walks to the window, unlocking and opening it before moving to the side.

“Lady El, it’s a pleasure,” Maxwell said and Kara had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She drops the drone on his desk before taking a seat.

She crosses her legs, placing both hands on her knee and talked without looking at him, “I do not like being spied on.”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Maxwell said before sitting down in his chair. He moves it around to face her, this gleeful aura around him as he thinks he has the advantage in the room.

“I tracked the signal, it was quite easy to do- a 5-year-old could do it,” Kara said before she brings her long nails to her lips as she pretends to suppress a smile, “A 5-year-old kryptonian anyway.”

“And what did you find?” Maxwell asked, obviously ignoring her quip.

“The signal leads me to here. And not just to this building, but to your office,” Kara said before adopting a slight scolding tone, “You really should hide your things better little boy.”

Maxwell narrows his eyes before standing up, “I don’t like your tone.”

“And I don’t like your test,” Kara said as she tried to pick dirt out from under her nail, “You don’t trust me. You don’t know what I’m capable of and that makes you uncomfortable. But here’s the thing,” Kara stood up and slowly walked up to the man, “Even if you did know what I could do you wouldn’t trust me. Now the real question is why?”

“Why?” Maxwell asked. But he was smart. He knew it wasn’t her asking why he didn’t trust her, but what about her he didn’t trust.

“Is it my powers? The fact that I’m an alien- or, let us make it more interesting- you do not know my history. You do not know what kryptonians are taught as children. Our morals, our ethics. Our definition of right and wrong… am I right?” Kara asked and grinned as she felt him tense in front of her. She was tempted to give him a demonstration and grab him by the hair, forcing him to his knees- but no. She refuses to be that kind of female. The kind that believes they have the right to subjugate males.

“You’re smarter than I expected,” Maxwell said, trying to insult her and Kara laughs at his attempt.

“I’m more observant than you expected,” Kara corrected and turned away from him, moving around his offices as her fingers brushed over his tickets, “You have no idea my level of intelligence.”

Lower than most kryptonians her age, to be honest, but she was working at it. She copied any kind of information over to her sleeth, studying it, before getting more.

‘Knowledge is power; a human saying so similar to a kryptonian one, ‘Knowledge unlocks the universe.’

“Now I have a question,” Maxwell said as Kara continued to catalog his office, “What are you going to do?”

Kara turned to him before reaching up her skirt, pulling out a sleeth she had strapped to her leg. Maxwell’s eyes lingered on her thighs before looking back at her face. Kara raised an eyebrow and he didn’t even look embarrassed at being caught.

She didn’t think well of that action.

Kara walked over to him and held out the sleeth, “This is similar to a tablet. It contains information about kryptonian morality. As well as the history and scientific reason for many things. There are many things you wouldn’t like- you right. We are different from you.”

“Why are you giving this to me?” Maxwell asks as he takes the sleeth.

“On Krypton we are taught to use our words, and only when necessary do we use physical means of confrontation,” Kara said, “’Make peace not war’ as humans say.”

“You don’t always abide that,” Maxwell said.

“No,” Kara said, “Sometimes, when you’re a soldier, you have to act first. Because if you don’t- people will get hurt. As a soldier we are taught that we must think of the safety of our civilians before all else- Never to kill, but to incapacitate.”

“You’re a soldier?” Maxwell said, surprised.

“What else could I possibly be?” Kara asked him before turning around and heading to the window.

“You still haven’t told me why,” Maxwell said, stopping her. She turns to him and he holds up the sleeth, “I want to know what you get out of this. It’s not my trust.”

“No,” Kara said, “I do not-” want you to create red kryptonite. Change and force that poor girl into a twisted version of her. Hold technology that can save people back “-want to make an enemy for no reason.”

“You wouldn’t always win people over to your side,” Maxwell tells her.

“Maybe not,” Kara said, “But I can try.”

With that, she leaves. There were many things she could say, many things she could argue, but nothing would be heard till he was ready to listen.

At least this way he might not try to blow people up.

0000

“What’s it about Supergirl that you like?” Kara asked Carter as she lets him listen to the newest interview his mother got. She found the ‘stars in his eyes’ amusing.

Carter blinked at her, pausing the audio before turning to her, “Are you kidding? She’s amazing. Have you seen all the things she can do?”

“Superman can do all those things too,” Kara said, “It just most boys would be more drawn to him than Supergirl.”

“Mom says I have a crush on her,” Carter said, “But I don’t.”

“Of course you don’t. You admire her. There is a difference,” Kara said and she sees Carter’s eyes widen before he looks away, fidgeting with his legs.

“Most people don’t say that,” Carter muttered.

“I’m not most people,” Kara said.

“Have you ever, you know, admired someone?” Carter asked, glancing at her before looking away again.

One person immediately entered her mind and she has to fight down a blush. While on Krypton no one would have mistaken her admiration for a crush, her family still teased her. Mainly because she had difficulty talking to the person, regularly running from the room when he came in.

She wondered if Non even remembered that.

“I have,” Kara said and Carter looks at her again, “People thought it was a crush too, but it’s more like you’re awed by what they can do. You want to emulate them and at the same time, you want them to be proud of what you can do. You want to be the kind of person they would want to know.”

“Yeah,” Carter said, “Supergirl- Supergirl doesn’t just stop all these big things, she looks after the little people. She, my classmate said that she once sat down next to his brother and just talked to him. He was- he was going to shoot himself and she just talked to him… she does things like that. I mean I also like how she’s so strong. But when she fights, even when you know she can dodge hits, she still takes them, because she’s protecting the people around her. She’s willing- she used herself as a shield for the people… and she doesn’t hesitate.”

Kara blinked as the boy’s face turned red as he continued to talk. She remembers the teen who sat in a playground at night, a gun in his hands. She remembers him pushing it against his head, no tears in sight. She sat down on the other swing and just started to talk.

(She couldn’t tell him she’s been there. Couldn’t show him the marks that couldn’t scar under the yellow sun. She rubs her smooth skin and her whole hands and wonders just how many scars she would have had-

Even before the loops started.)

“She- she’s a hero,” Carter ends before glancing at her.

“I don’t think she sees herself as a hero,” Kara tells him, because she didn’t.

Carter shrugs, “I do.”

Kara’s mouth twitches, almost into a smile before going back to her work-

“Why do you like Supergirl?” Carter asked.

Kara felt her heart stop as she looks back to the child. She forces a smile on her face, “She doesn’t give up. She keeps trying.”

Lie. Lie. Lie.

0000

The building doesn’t blow up and Kara never has to grab a bomb out of Lord Industries. She reads that the little girl still gets the medical attention, but the photo with it has her father sitting next to her, holding her hand.

Carter still runs after the train, but this time Kara stops him, tell him that putting himself in any danger to get to Supergirl wouldn’t impress her. He’s upset, but walks back to CatCo with her.

 0000

“Why are you still here,” Kara asked James as she stood at the door of his office.

“What do you mean?” James asked.

“The girl you love is leaving and you’re just sitting there,” Kara asked him.

“It doesn’t matter,” James said, “Even if I did get her back, it will just be the same thing over and over. I’m still going have to lie to her.”

“Do you trust her?” Kara asked him.

“Of course I trust Lucy,” James tells her.

“With my life?” Kara asked him and James takes his hand off the computer mouse, looking at her with his full attention.

“Kara?” James asked.

“I am- I am willing to tell her. Have her part of our group. But I don’t know her, you do. So I ask you… do you trust her with my life?” Kara asked.

James stays quiet for a few moments before looking at her in the eyes, “Yes.”

“Then run,” Kara tells him and she moves out of the way just in time as he rushes past her. She can’t stop herself from laughing.

Not because of James, but because of how light she feels. She was honestly happy for him. For this chance he got.

She can’t deny she loved him, or maybe she could have loved him, but that was so long ago.

Lifetimes ago.

0000

Kara opens her shirt for Lucy and she just stares at her in shock. There was the same gasp as the first time before the quietly resigned look. Like she knew, but didn’t want to know.

“I- I thought you looked alike, but-” Lucy started.

“James is my friend,” Kara tells her bluntly, “I don’t know if I can trust you, but he does and for now that’s enough.”

“You don’t trust me?” Lucy asked, more disbelief then surprise, “You’re the one lying to everyone.”

“Of course I don’t trust you,” Kara said as she pulls her glasses of, “I’ve been told my entire life on this plant what would happen to me if I revealed who I was. Experimentation. Being hunted down like an animal. Being surrounded by your military, seen as nothing but a threat, something to stop.”

“You’re getting your “facts”,” Lucy put up air quotes, “From movies. If you actually told people who you are you’ll be accepted. People will understand.”

“Why? Because I’m white and blond?” Kara asked, a humorless laugh escaping, “Every day I read about people killing each other because of skin color. Because of culture, religion. Because a woman says no… do you really think people would accept me? Me who was raised completely different from any human. Me who prays to a god none of you have heard of? Me, who might look human, but isn’t… do you really believe that Lucy?”

Lucy stayed quiet for several moments before sighing, “No.”

Kara wonders what happened to Lucy in her past. Who said what to her? And what was still being said to her?

“People already know that historically women were above men on Krypton,” Kara said, “Trust me. I don’t have the approval of the white male privilege walking around.”

Lucy’s mouth twitch and she quickly covered it, hiding her smile.

“Should I be insulted?” Winn whispered to James.

“I don’t think we should comment. At all,” James tells Winn.

“So now I know,” Lucy said, “What do you want from me?”

“I want to know what makes you happy,” Kara told her, “I want to know what makes you mad. I want to be there as you vent. I want to surprise you with your favorite food just because. I want to cry on your shoulder and I want us to tell stories of what it’s like living with older sisters. I want you to be there when I punch criminals or when I just talk to them. I want you to criticize me and I want you to praise me… I want to be your friend and have all these things.”

Lucy swallowed, surprised by her open admission. She looks to the boys behind her, but Kara doesn’t turn around. She wonders what hand signals they throw her because she nods and turns back to Kara.

“Honestly that sound more like you’re trying to be my girlfriend,” Lucy said and Kara laughs.

“Humans,” Kara said, pouring amusement into her voice, “Always thinking about sex.”

“And kryptonians don’t?” Lucy said, teasing.

Kara snorts, “Compared to human we’re basically asexual.”

“Hhmm,” Lucy said and walked over to them, past Kara to the boys playing a board game. Kara turns and follows the woman with her eyes as Lucy said, “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

Different wasn’t that bad.

00000

Kara ignores Leslie Willis as she insulted Supergirl on air. Next to her Eliza places her hand on Kara’s shoulder, smiling as she tried to make her feel better.

“…I mean; how would that even work with an alien? I mean, is everything the same down there, or are we talking tentacles? Maybe it's time for a break. Or a makeover.”

Eliza turns off the radio before heading back to the food, “Ignore her.”

“I was,” Kara said plainly, not looking at her foster mother. Kara hadn’t seen her since Myriad tied to kill everyone. Last time, when she treated everything like a dream, Kara had spent Thanksgiving with Grev, not wanting to even look at Eliza.

Part of her still didn’t.

“Alex said you were acting different,” Eliza said.

“I found out some things… painful things,” Kara said.

“Can I ask what?” Eliza asked, but Kara shook her head.

“It’s kryptonian things,” Kara said.

“Kara. You can talk to me about Krypton,” Eliza said and Kara throws down the knife in her hand before she thought it through.

“Now you want to talk about it?” Kara asked as she turned to the woman, “You threatened me with the government. You brought an agent into our home and you all told me to be _human_. I wasn’t allowed to be who I wanted to be. I wasn’t allowed to help people-”

“You were a child,” Eliza said, “And I knew that Alex would follow you into everything you did. That she would get hurt.”

“I don’t want to hurt Alex!” Kara said, “But you made me deny a part of myself- made me human.”

“And what is wrong with human,” Eliza asked.

Kara stomped and turned around, grabbing her hair, “Why do you people always say that! It like I’m insulting you when I’m stating facts!” Kara turned to the woman, “There is nothing wrong with being human, but you, all of you, making me act like one, tells me there’s something wrong with being kryptonian.”

Kara breathed heavily, turning away again, “I’m not a human. That doesn’t mean I’m evil or something, it’s just a fact. I think differently, my body works differently. I have different experiences- I am not human,” Kara turned back to the woman, “And there is nothing wrong with that.”

Eliza put down the cutlery in her hands and wiped her hands on her apron before walking over to Kara. She placed her hands on Kara’s shoulders and looked her right in the eyes, “I’m sorry I made you think those things- that you thought I did. I was worried about you- I had to raise you and Alex alone and it was hard. And I made mistakes… I was scared for you.”

“I know,” Kara said and pulled away from the woman, “I need to get to work.”

“Kara,” Eliza started as Kara grabbed her handbag, “Please. Let us talk about this.”

“I can’t,” Kara said and closed her eyes. Eliza was never her mother, but she still felt a mother’s love and presents from her. Kara knew that if she stayed she will tell the woman everything- tell her how she killed Alex, “I’m sorry.”

Kara shut the door and half ran off, a hand over her mouth as she tried to force the tears back.

She couldn’t put this on other people.

She couldn’t.

0000

Kara tries to catch the helicopter without being near Leslie, but the lightning still hits the woman. Kara grabs Leslie the second she can and raises her to the hospital, but it was already too late-

Leslie Willis was dead.

Livewire never exists.

And Kara isn’t sure how she feels about that.

0000

“Hey,” Alex said as Kara opened the door, a bottle of scotch in her hands.

“Hey,” Kara said, letting her sister into the room before closing the door, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Alex said, grabbing a glass and filling it with alcohol, “Me and mom talked- about, um, about you and me and protecting you.”

“Ah,” Kara said and moved to get her own drink. This wasn’t a conversation they can have sober. She still regrets being sober the last time.

Kara poured her own drink, the liquid a dark purple color, before joining Alex on the couch. Alex glances at the glass, but doesn’t ask.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kara asked and Alex hesitates, her hands slowly spinning the glass in her hands.

“I always looked after you, even back before we liked each other, when I blamed you for dad’s death,” Alex said, “I’ve spent my life making sure you were safe- you becoming Supergirl- outing yourself like that… it was like you slapped me in the face with that life.”

Alex raised her glass and drank it clean before taking the bottle and pouring in more.

Kara sipped her own drink, trying to slow her heart. This was the conversation they had after the red kryptonite incident… why now?

“I didn’t mean to,” Kara said, not looking at the older woman, “I hated you sometimes. I felt like you were trying to control me, like you were trying to dictate my life. Becoming Supergirl… a part of me felt like I was breaking free from that control.”

It did the first time. The feeling of being her own person- not always though. People still compared her to Clark and she hated that too. It made her ask: ‘When was she going to find herself- who she really was?’

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Alex said.

“I guess we never really saw it from the other's perspective,” Kara said and downed her drink, “We wanted our version to be right. No matter how we hated it.”

“Kara. I love being your sister. I regret every moment I fought against being that to you, but you’re right… I hated living my life for you- I hated making every decision with you in mind- I wasn’t ready to give my life up for someone else- maybe I never will be,” Alex said and she started to rub her eye with a single finger.

“I love being your sister too. I love you,” Kara told her, “I love that you're there for me- But I hate that I was never there for you… that you gave up so much for me and I gave nothing in return. I made our relationship about control, about you needing to look after me- that not what we should have been. That not what I want to be anymore… I want- I want us to work together- to be partners- trusting each other, not just with each other, but with everything we do.”

“Yeah,” Alex said and smiled slightly before frowning, “You’re so different lately. You feel… older.”

“I found out something- a lot of things,” Kara said and gave a humorless chuckle, “And what I found changed me- changed my perspective of the world. I wish I could be- That I could go back to what I was, but I can’t-”

“What happened?” Alex asked, “Please Kara, please tell me.”

(Blood slides between her fingers and bone crack in her ears. Everything she knows had layers in viewpoints. People are wrong even when they seem right and they're right even when they seem wrong. She was never supposed to survive Krypton- She was never supposed to survive her first death or any that follow- She hates the lives she takes, yet plan the death of two more- hopping, praying she would have time to make it painful- she wants to save- she wants to help, but she’s so scared of everyone- of everything-

Her mind howls and claw at her sanity- begging to break free.)

“I can’t. I don’t even know how to process it all jet. When I do, when I figure out how to explain it all… then I’ll tell you,” Kara said, rubbing her fingers-

(She hates the color green. She hates the light in her cell- wishing- begging she kept her mouth shut.)

“You have to trust me,” Alex said.

“This isn’t about trust,” Kara tells her, “This is, this is me not knowing who I am anymore. I need to know that before I can tell you.”

Alex stays quiet for a few moments before sighing deeply and putting her half-full glass down.

“We finished installing the red sun generators,” Alex said.

Kara snorted, “You want me to kick your ass?”

“Oh no,” Alex said, smiling, “I’m the one that’s going to be doing the ass kicking.”

“Oooohhh, is that how it is?” Kara asked.

“Oh, that’s how it is,” Alex said and stood up. Kara laughed and followed her sister.

This was going to be so funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> End  
> Kara is making changes to the world. She is trying to make things perfect. Trying to get everyone on her side. She’s trying to create allies without going through the enemy stages. Whether it works is yet to be seen.  
> Why Kara doesn’t tell people: She told people the very first timeline and it got her tortured for 8+ months. She still remembers every second. Still visits the place in her dreams. She knows Alex would never do that to her, but if the truth possible comes out and gets back to General Lane? That’s what she is afraid off.  
> The Boys not asking Kara about her rape: It pretty obvious to them she doesn’t want to talk about it and they know they wouldn’t be able to force it out of her. It still affects them, but more on the level of them understanding why she acts like she does.


	13. The Changes Before Us Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara realizes she made more changes then she intended to and is forced to face something she hasn't before- with horrible consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Changes Before Us Part 1  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape  
> Note* “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 35

Kara smiles as she sat the drinks on the tables. Lucy is telling this story of her sister back when Superman just arrived, embellishing the most embarrassing details. Winn laughed and James intervenes, trying to un-dramatize it.

There is a pause in the story as they say thanks before Kara sits next to Winn.

“It’s your turn,” Winn said, handing her the dice. Kara looked at the board, half glaring at James’s hotels as she counted how much she needed to land on a safe spot.

“Seven. Seven. Seven,” Kara muttered as she shook her fist before throwing the dice, “Bark korsa.”

“That would be 900 monopolies,” James said with a smile and Kara half threw the money at him.

“What does Bar-ka course-se mean?” Winn asked.

“Bark Korsa,” Kara corrected, “And the closest translation would be ‘Darkest Night’.”

“That doesn’t really sound like a curse,” Lucy said.

“It is for a people that worship a Sun-God,” Kara said and Lucy tapped her nose, “Besides, Krypton didn’t have words for things that people didn’t say like ass and shit.”

“I’ve seen some of the Kryptonian languages,” Lucy said, “It’s very straightforward.”

“The Old Tongue- Low Speech- has a bit more freedom of meanings, but we were told that we had ‘evolved above having double meaning’ when we use language. That it just ‘encourages miscommunication’,” Kara said.

“Is that why you say what you think?” Lucy asked and Kara nodded.

They played for a few more minutes before Kara had to give up the last of her money to Lucy. They decided to stop, counting everything to see who won.

“We can play cards-” Winn started to say.

“No!” Kara said forcefully, her eyes hard.

“Um,” Winn muttered as they all looked at her.

“Sorry,” Kara muttered, looking away, “I don’t play cards anymore.”

“Oh,” Winn said, exchanging looks with the other two.

“What happened?” Lucy asked.

Kara looked at them before looking away as she felt tears gather into her eyes- no. She didn’t want to think about it. If she just ignored it she would have to deal with it-

‘You cannot keep pretending it did not happen,’ Non’s voice echoed in her mind.

Kara signed and wiped her face, both happy and annoyed she didn’t have to wear her glasses. She had learned to hide behind them after all these years, “I failed someone… we played a game- one game, that’s all, but...” Kara closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“It meant something,” James said and Kara nodded, still not looking at them.

“What happened to them?” Lucy asked.

Kara’s mouth twitched to a quick sadpainguilt smile, “I left him- left him to die because of a really stupid decision.”

(She sees him and feels cold yet her blood burns at the same time. She sees him and fear and hatred is all she can feel. She sees him and all she wants is revenge. She doesn’t care about anything else as she shoves her hand through Lane’s chest. As she makes the biggest mistake of her life. She left him, left Non to Astra’s merciless actions. All because she wanted revenge.)

“Kara-”

“Don’t tell me it isn’t my fault,” Kara said, not caring who addressed her, “I made that decision and someone else had to live with it.”

Kara stood up and headed to her bathroom, ignoring Lucy whose phone started to ring.

Kara splashed water on her face, trying to shove the image of Non bruised and bleeding out of her mind. Remembering how hard it was for him to hurt her, to make it look authentic for the hu- DEO.

She could have gone to the Fortress. She could have called Kal, she could have knocked Astra out and staged an attack on the DEO, force them to help the older woman. She could have gone to kidnap Maxwell Lord-

She could have chosen to do some many other things then- then-

Being an idiot.

Kara looked up, cursing at herself when she realized there were tears running down her face. She splashed more water on her face before leaving the room, going back to where the others are, just as Lucy also came back.

Lucy who was frowning, staring ahead of her, but not really seeing anything. She was pushing her phone to her bottom lip, her eyes unfocused.

“What happened?” Kara asked and Lucy turned to her, her eyes focusing on her.

“My father just called,” Lucy said.

Kara felt her body tense as waves rushed in her ears, “And?” she asked, her voice hard causing the boys to glance at her.

“Apparently he wants to set up a training exercise between an android and Supergirl,” Lucy said before sitting back next to James. Kara forced her legs to move her to the couch, knowing she must have looked extremely stiff to the others.

“Did he say why?” James asked, glancing at her.

“No, but…” Lucy said, tapping on her leg.

“You're suspicious of something?” Kara asked as she tilted her head. She knew that Lane wanted to use Red Tornado to kill Kryptonians, but it wasn’t like she could just announce it to everyone.

Red Tornado… Kara was still unsure what to do about that. Was the Android sentient? And if it was, wouldn’t stopping it be like killing someone? She didn’t want to think about it, mainly because she didn’t know what there was that she could do.

“Yeah… Professor Anthony Ivo doesn’t exactly have a…clean reputation,” Lucy said, “There’s no concrete proof, but his inventions have always been… toeing the line.”

Wait, Kara thought.

“Who?” Kara asked, realizing that wasn’t the person who created Red Tornado.

0000

Kara sighed as she took three cards into her hands before flipping them over. She looked at the top one, seeing if there was a place to put. She didn’t regularly play solitary outside her phone, but it wasn’t like she had a phone anymore. She should be thankful that Anya-Nar had someone get her some cards during the last store run.

Not that anyone wanted to play with her.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

“It’s open,” Kara yelled. It was still weird to speak only Kryptonese. Sometime she would replace a word with an English one, usually when it didn’t have a Kryptonian counterpart.

“You should keep this locked,” Non said as he entered her room, locking the door behind him. Kara glanced up at him before going back to her game. She shrugged, not really caring.

Non sighed, his hand rubbing at his neck before heading to her. Kara saw it all from the corner of her eyes, following him as he sat on her bed, staying clear of the cards.

“You're upset,” Non said.

“Yes,” Kara said, sighing.

“Kara-” Non started.

“It’s her name day and I can’t even see her,” Kara complained.

“It is not a simple thing,” Non told her.

“It’s been two months since I’ve seen Astra. She wouldn’t even look at me,” Kara said.

“Her position-”

“Means she can’t be seen to show favoritism. Not even to me,” Kara said. She understood this! “That if the non-Kryptonians see her show affection for me it could be used against her. That she needs to be seen as uncompromised- I know this- I just… I just want to talk to her.”

Non was quiet for several moments, long enough that Kara had to look up to see if the man was still there. He looked at her unblinkingly before his hand moved up, only to freeze mid-air.

“You scream every night,” Non tells her, “And Astra sat outside your door for almost a month every time… it’s hard for her to talk to you. She feels- she feels like she failed you… and that is why she is so busy.”

“Sorry,” Kara muttered. She didn’t realize that she was screaming in her sleep. That explained why everyone kept looking at her in the mornings, like they expected her to one day not enter the room- like she would give up.

“She wants revenge on the DEO for what they did to you. The plan is still in early stages until we find a way to combat the Kryptonite-”

“I don’t know where it is,” Kara said before Non could ask her again, “As far as I know only the DEO has kryptonite.”

Non grabs her hand, forcing her to look at him again, “I know. We’ve had this conversation too many times… Astra is determined to avenge you…and Rao I love her, but she does have a tendency to become obsessed.”

“And you don’t?” Kara asked without thinking.

She was surprised when Non’s mouth almost twitched into a smile. Kara glanced away as Non finally let go of her hand, gathering the cards up before shuffling them. She watched as he moved to sit cross-legged on her bed before dealing the cards.

“Rummy,” Non muttered as he picked up his cards, moving them around, Kara doing the same.

“I’m sorry for keeping everyone awake,” Kara muttered as they played.

Non sighed again and Kara looked up at him, “You are not dealing with what happened.”

“Yes I am,” Kara argued.

“No. You are shoving it away and refuse to even remember it,” Non told her, “You cannot keep pretending it did not happen.”

“Is that dealing with it?” Kara asked nastily.

“It is a start,” Non told her as he won the round. He gathered the cards and shuffled them again, handing her the deck.

“Did you ever…ever deal with whatever happened on Krypton?” Kara asked, not wanting to look at him.

But Non refused to answer as they continued to play. It was several hands later that Kara realized something, “It’s Astra’s name day.”

“Yes,” Non said, raising an eyebrow like Kara had lost her mind.

“So why aren’t you with her?” Kara asked.

A painful smile appeared on Non’s face as he looked her in the eyes, “You are not the only one she does not wish to see.”

“Oh,” Kara muttered. She paused before shuffling just slightly closer to the man-

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Kara opened her eyes, tears running from them as she threw an arm over her face. She took several deep breaths, trying to shove the memory-dream into a locked box.

Dreaming memories were arguably the most difficult. The dream sometimes twists small things to the point that you couldn’t remember the original.

Kara was sure Non wasn’t that genital with her, but she couldn’t the life of her remember his actual tone of voice. Nor could she remember if he actually grabbed her hand or how many games they played. The dream made it seem like they spend hours playing, but Kara doubted that… why would he?

Kara shook her head before getting up and heading to the bathroom. One quick shower later she dressed in her Supergirl suit and flew around the city, trying to forget the memory-

She couldn’t deal with it now.

She didn’t want to.

000000

“You’re pouting,” Lucy muttered, making sure her father didn’t see her.

“I’m scowling,” Kara said, trying hard not to look at the man.

She’s already not killed Maxwell and Grev, now she just has to not kill Lane.

“Thanks for warning me about this,” Kara muttered and Lucy bumps her knuckles against Kara’s, her face remaining passive.

“Supergirl,” General Lanes said as he, a man Kara had never seen, Alex and J’onn walked over to them, “This is Professor Ivo.”

“Professor,” Kara said and held out her hand for him.

“Supergirl,” Ivo said, “Or do you prefer Lady El?”

‘Lady El’ was the name CatCo had been using in any articles about her. It was also the name Maxwell Lord used when talking about her. Kara preferred it herself.

“Whatever you feel comfortable with,” Kara tells him.

Lane sneers and Kara forced herself not to back away. She wants to grab Alex or Lucy’s hand and hold on to them, if only to remind her why she can’t just shove her hand through the man’s chest again.

“You will be fighting his robot,” Lane told her.

“Android,” Ivo corrects before turning to Kara, “It’s called A.M.A.Z.O.”

“Amazo? That is an interesting name,” Kara said.

Ivo smiled and Kara felt the hair on her neck rise, “You’ll see why.”

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to Supergirl,” J’onn tell her but Lucy quickly intervenes.

“By the order of the present, Lady El is obligated to help us,” Lucy told them and Alex frowns at her.

“I would love to know under what jurisdiction,” Kara said to the shorter woman and Lucy hands her a file immediately without looking at Kara.

Kara opens the file and curses in Kryptonese, “I’m going to have words with Kal.”

Alex holds out her hand and Kara hands her the file, watching the woman also start to scowl as she read what was in it.

“When will I be fighting your Android?” Kara asked.

“We can do this now or we can do it tomorrow,” Ivo said.

“Now is fine,” Kara said and she felt Lucy take a deep breath. She knocks her knuckles against her friend’s hand in reassurance before heading to the open area.

Kara watched as AMAZO head towards her, trying not to laugh. The android was a comical human shaped, it’s shoulders twice the side of it’s hips. The shape made her think of all those memes where people had captions on ‘missing leg day’. It’s head was thankfully proportional to it’s shoulders, but the faceless sight reminded her of horror movies.

Kara glanced at Ivo, her shoulders tensing when she saw his hands empty. She distinctively remembered T.O. Morrow having a controller in his hands, reminding her of Winn’s game stations.

“You may start when you’re ready Lady El,” Ivo said, the creepy smile back on his face.

Kara took a deep breath before pushing her power into her speed, appearing in front of the android before pushing her power into the strength of her arm, punching with an echoed focused. A small fist size crater appeared in it’s chest before it flew back, crashing into the ground.

Kara stepped back, relaxing her stand before turning to the professor, but he didn’t call for the test to end, even as Lane turned to him, anger on his face.

“Watch,” Ivo whispers to Lane and Kara quickly turns back to AMAZO.

She steps back as the android got up, the fist shape fixing itself back to a smooth surface. Kara tilted her head to the side, surprised at the rate of self-repair-

AMAZO appeared in front of her and swag with it’s fist. Kara’s heart skipped a beat, the surprise making it impossible to block. The fist connected with her face, causing her to fly back.

She skidded on the ground for some time before stopping. Kara sat up, wiping her mouth when she felt something run down her lips. She looked at her hand, shocked to see her blood.

She turned back to the android, pushing into the air, hovering above it. The faceless head didn’t turn to her, but Kara could feel it looking at her. She pushed her power into her eyes, activating several visions one after the other as she analyzed AMAZO.

Kara felt her body tense as she realized that she couldn’t see inside the android, but not because it was lead, or even covered in lead. The metal had similar propertied as lead, but she could tell it wasn’t an earth metal. The highest atomic number humans have found is around 103, this one was 246.

The android also wasn’t giving off any heat and if Kara was seeing things right, it was actually absorbing the heat around it, much like her own body did with the solar radiation.

Kara speeded towards it, only having a second to change direction when it matched her speed completely. She skidded on the ground again, bending her legs so to use her hands to slow herself even faster. She looked up and quickly reappeared behind the machine, punching it with as much focus as she could.

Her hand penetrated the outer surface and Kara kept it there as she – still vibrating her body at a higher speed than anything else- used her microscopic vision to observe inside the machine-

Kara screamed as she pulled her hand back, kicking at the android to get it away from her. She fell to her knees, looking at the metal that was growing through her hand-

Nano-bots.

Self-replicating, self-repairing nano-bots.

Something, Kara was sure, humans weren’t even close to perfecting. And with the metal obviously not from earth-

Where did Ivo get this technology from?

“Stop the test!” Alex shouted as she saw Kara’s hand, running over to her.

Kara hissed as the metal tried to grow through her bones. She grabbed one of the outside pieces and started to pull-

“Stop!” Alex yelled, moving to hold Kara’s hand from pulling the metal out.

“It’s growing through me,” Kara hissed, trying to keep her face expressionless. She had no desire to show her pain to Lane.

“If you just pull it out, you might pull out a vain or a bone,” Alex tells her before turning to Ivo, “Shut it off.”

“I can’t. AMAZO is designed to repair itself. Supergirl was in the way and the metal inserted itself into her. They will continue to grow till reforms itself,” Ivo tells her, his face unsympathetic.

“How fast can we get her into surgery?” Alex asked J’onn.

“Not fast enough,” Kara interjected before pulling herself away from Alex. She grabbed one of the bits and pulls, clenching her teeth so as not to make a sound.

Once the metal was out of her hand, she through it to the side, AMAZO suddenly appearing to grab it out of midair, placing it by it’s broken chest. Kara turned back to her hand, activating her heat vision to cut into her hand, and through one of the pieces trying to dig its way through her bone. Once through the mental, she pulled the pieces out, moving her hand into the sun. Her heat vision had done quite a bit of damage to her and she hoped the healing would take care of it.

Kara turned back to the last piece in her palm. At first, it had just curved through the skin, but by now it had grown, cutting several of her arteries and veins. She ripped out the metal, cutting through her hands, blood spewing upwards to her face.

Like the other pieces, she threw it to the side, AMAZO taking them again. It moved towards Kara as she forced herself not to cradle her hand to her chest, leaving it into the sun instead.

“AMAZO, stand down,” Ivo called as Kara tensed, ready to defend herself. She watched as the android stilled, returning to almost statue-like inactivity. The only thing moving was it’s chest as it repaired itself.

“Shit,” Alex muttered as she kneeled down next to her, looking at Kara’s shaking hand, “We have to get you back to the DEO.”

“Yeah,” Kara said, her head still as she glanced to the side, her stomach turning at the satisfied look on Lane’s face.

He wasn’t even trying to hide it.

00000

“Repair is slow. Her hand had already started to heal itself while bones weren’t properly aligned. There are also evidence of veins closed off, but not connected to anything. I doubt her hand will ever heal properly,” the Doctor said quietly to J’onn and Alex, Kara hearing every word.

She had very little movability in her fingers, and she couldn’t move her palm at all. She will never be able to make a fist, or even be able to hold something in her hand again.

She’s reminded of her stay in the DEO, how her hands and feet were useless at the end when she was rescued. Kara felt her chest constrict, and her breathing labored as she closed her eyes. She tilted her head as she mentally shouted at herself to get a grip. She couldn’t afford to break down.

“You’re not ok,” Lucy said as she entered the med bay.

Kara’s mouth twitched to an amused smile, “I think you’re supposed to ask ‘Are you ok?’”

“Not when you already know the answer,” Lucy said and Kara frowned, looking back at her hand.

“I’ll live,” Kara said. She already knew how to do things without fingers, leading how to do things one handed will have to come to her.

“You’re not going to stop are you?” Lucy asked, already knowing the answer.

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Kara said as she jumped off the bed, ignoring the looks Alex and the others gave her, “There is something, however.”

“What is it?” Lucy asked.

“What do you know about Ivo and his Android?” Kara asked.

“Not much. I’ve never met Ivo, only heard about him. From what I can tell you about my debrief conserving his android,” Lucy said, pausing as she gathered her thoughts, “He’s been building it in secret for several years. No government funding, no team to help him. He did everything on his own. Apparently, it can adapt itself to combat it’s surroundings and it’s had a self-sustaining power source.”

“It’s alien and it’s made from alien nano-bots. It’s not Kryptonian, the technology is way above what Krypton was capable of,” Kara told her, “And it draws in energy around it much like I do. But it looks like it can use any and every type of energy.”

“If it’s alien, does that mean Ivo didn’t make it?” Lucy asked.

“I don’t know,” Kara said, “But I can bet it’s more than an anti-insurgent combat device.”

“What else would it be?” Lucy said, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes at Kara.

“Lucy, no offense, but the army doesn’t exactly like me or my cousin. And now there over two dozen more Kryptonians and a machine that can eventually match us and can’t be destroyed?” Kara said.

“You think it’s designed to stop Kryptonians,” Lucy said with disbelief.

“Can you reassure me it’s not?” Kara asked and Lucy just glared at Kara, “Look. This technology, earth isn’t ready for it-”

“You don’t get to decide that,” Lucy said, pointing at Kara with a sneer.

“No, I don’t, but the Intergalactic Counsel does,” Kara warns the ‘older’ woman.

Lucy took a deep breath before taking a few steps back, “I’m not going to listen to this. You know I actually thought you wanted to be my friend- now I see you just need me for my military connections.”

Not completely wrong, Kara thought before addressing the woman, “I do want to know you Lucy-”

“But you don’t trust the army, that means you don’t trust me,” Lucy said.

“I’m still learning to trust you, like you are learning to trust me,” Kara said, “It’s your father I will never trust.”

Wrong thing to say, Kara realized.

“You don’t know him. Or what he’s been through!” Lucy yelled and stormed out of the room.

“I know him better than you,” Kara muttered as Alex walked into the room, J’onn behind her.

“Kara,” Alex said, walking into the room, “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Kara said, moving to the door.

“We want you to take a few days off, get your mind around what happened,” J’onn said, stepping in her way, “If you feel like you can’t go back it the field-”

“Because my hand doesn’t work?” Kara asked, surprised they think she would break so easily, “I don’t need to get my mind around it, what I need is a story to tell CatCo. And as for the field- I’m heading out right now.”

Kara pushed past him, wincing internally when she used her left hand too much. She kept her face passive as she walked out the door, her hand shaking as people turned to stare at her.

She will not break.

0000

Kara entered through the open window, accepting the glass Maxwell gives her. She sniffs it when his back is turned, finding it to be human alcohol. She sipped it as she moved to the couches, Maxwell following behind.

“I finished reading the information you gave me,” Maxwell said before taking a seat opposite her.

“And was it as stimulating as you expected?” Kara asked sarcastically, placing her injured hand next to her, half out of view.

“More than I expected,” Maxwell said, playing along, “I thought you were going to give me the pretty things, but I didn’t expect you to give me all of it. The good and the bad.”

Kara smirked into her drink, “Was it the child marriages or the fact that we near desolated our planet with our wars?”

“It's your belief that every person needs to be useful. That a person doesn’t have the right to live unless they contribute something to society,” Maxwell said, looking her in the eyes.

Kara paused before lowering her drink, her face passive, “Figured that out did you?”

“Your language might not have double meanings, but everything else does,” Maxwell told her.

Kara smiled sadly, swirling her drink, “Yes,” she said softly. It wasn’t nostalgia or even horror at her people- but the mere acceptance that Kryptonians weren’t perfect, weren’t a species to look up to and emulate, “Being useful, doing your part to advance the planet or the populace… it’s pretty much drilled into us at birth- before birth if you’ve read about population control.”

“How did you live like that?” Maxwell asked, all his snark gone.

“It’s all we knew,” Kara said, “Many people from other worlds would ask the same thing of earth, with your apparent need to manipulate and use one another.”

Maxwell narrows his eyes slightly, before sighing in resignation, “You’re not wrong.”

“Now,” Kara said before placing her glass on the table, “Since we know more about one another, is there some way we can come to an agreement.”

“And what agreement will that be?” Maxwell said.

“I will be honest with you. Your technology is one of the most advanced on the planet. The only people who have better technology are Wayne Enterprise and Luthor Corp and they both have ways to combat most alien interferences. You say National City is being attacked because of me, but in reality-”

“It’s me,” Maxwell said, realizing where she was going.

“Your technology is useful. You use advanced data transfer methods and you yourself is one of the best mechanical engineers with a background in many things- to put it simply, you and your company are a goldmine,” Kara tells him.

“You think the aliens will use me,” Maxwell said.

“No. I know the aliens will use you and your technology,” Kara said.

“And how do you know that?” Maxwell asked, narrowing his eyes.

“Now that will be telling- we’re not there just yet,” Kara said and sat forward. She could see the man force himself not to move.

“So what do you want from me?” Maxwell said.

Kara sighed and handed him a small device, similar to the one she and Astra use to use when she was a child on Krypton, “This will allow you to contact me. If there is any suspicion of alien interference, please inform me.”

“Why?” Maxwell asked, still taking the device.

“You are not equipped to protect yourself against these beings. It’s also my job to stop them,” Kara tells the man.

“I don’t need your protection-”

“Yes you do,” Kara told him bluntly and she could see him visible be taken aback, “I’m not saying you’re weak, but you have no way to win against these beings, most of them being Kryptonian.”

Kara leaned forward and took a metal statue that stood on the table. She brought it to her mouth and easily bit through the metal, tearing a thick piece off with her teeth. She removed the object from her mouth and placed both pieces on the table.

“Was that a demonstration?” Maxwell said.

“And a warning,” Kara said and stood up, “I’ve said my piece Maxwell Lord. May your flame burn through the night.”

Kara turned and walked to the window, stopping when Maxwell addressed her, “Just ‘Max’ is fine… I suppose to say that, right? Tell you you can just call me by name?”

“Yes,” Kara said, “And it ‘Kara’.”

“Kharha,” Max muttered and Kara smiled, slightly annoyed at the mispronunciation…but understood. Humans simply didn’t have the right number of voice boxes to really pronounce kryptonese.

Kara nodded and flew off-

Only for something to slam into her.


	14. The Changes Before Us Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People have started to fear Kara. Others fear for her. And as her strength grows, so does her obsession- but it seems she might be right this time around.  
> Or is she?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Changes Before Us Part 2  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl  
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.  
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape  
> Note* Timeline 2 “Normal” – Kryptonese, “Italics” - English  
> Note* Timeline 35 “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 3

“You should be asleep,” Non said as Kara walked into his lab.

“So should you,” Kara countered. Non glanced at her and for a moment she wondered if she would be this comfortable in just a strap shirt and shorts if it was anyone else.

Non’s eyes didn’t linger on her, only staring hard at the dark marks under her eyes before glancing behind her. He nodded to Anya, who was hovering by the door. Kara heard her turn around, the door closing behind her, leaving Kara and Non alone.

Kara walked over to the man as he turned back to his computer. She glances at the screens, reading bits and pieces. It seemed like Non was researching the Phantom Zone…why?

Kara sighed, shaking her head mentally as she turned and leaned against the table. She looked around the room, staring at the machines that littered the floor.

"Nightmare?" Non asked, not looking at her, nor expecting a reply.

"Yeah," Kara muttered. He didn't like her going outside at night, but she couldn't stay in her cell, no matter what they called it, "You?"

Non glanced at her, but didn't answer. He sat back, staying quiet for a few moments, "What did you dream about?"

Alex wouldn't have asked like that. She would have slowly drag the dream out of her, using pleasantries and gentle touches. And if she got her fangs into the answers she would pull and pull till it was completely out.

Non was different. He demanded an answer, but if Kara stayed quiet he wouldn't force her to speak.

"Someone killed me. Someone stronger than me," Kara told him.

(Kara looks up at Non's face, his eyes wide like he didn't expect himself to actually kill her. She wants to reach out to him as he starts to sing. Everything just melts away and he is all she can see and hear.)

"What do I do if I have to fight someone stronger then me?" Kara asked.

Non didn't even blink at the somewhat subject change, "Your training is going well. I doubt you will encounter someone you cannot defeat."

"But what if I do?" Kara asked again.

"Then you call me or Anya for help or send out a general distress. That is what all soldiers do," Non told her.

"You don't," Kara said without thinking. Non raised an eyebrow and Kara looked away, blushing, "Anya told me about the attack on Lord Technologies. That you went off to face several DEO against with kryptonite weapons."

"My case is different. My job is to distract their greatest fighters while the rest of the squadron does the mission,” Non told her.

Kara wanted to shout ‘I knew it!’, but knew she couldn’t. Part of her felt that Non attacking her was a compliment on her abilities, yet another part of her was annoyed that she fell for the trick.

“But what if I can’t ask for help?” Kara asked, “What if I have to face the person on my own?”

Non sighed and stood up, leaning against the table next to her, but turning his head towards her, “You cannot train for that Kara… this is where strategy and thinking ahead come into play… when you face an opponent like that, all you can do is out think it.”

“That doesn’t sound like a 50/50 chance of survival,” Kara told him, looking back at him.

“It is not,” Non agreed and placed his hand on hers, “It is when hope and faith and the need to live outweigh all else… so I am not worried.”

“You’re not?” Kara asked.

Non brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes and smirked at her, “No… you are all those things after all.”

Kara blushed and looked away, a small smile appearing on her face. She moves her hair to hide it as Non moves away and returns to his work.

Kara slides out to the ground, drawing her legs to her chest and laying her forehead knees. She keeps quiet, allowing the sounds of the machines to lull her back to sleep.

0000

Timeline 35

Kara crashes into the street below, cars waving out of the way. Several people stop, climbing out of their vehicles to look at the crater her body created.

She sits up, wincing at the pain in both her back and chest. She touches the area between her breast gently, wincing again when she realized one of her ribs had broken. She hissed as she pushed her two fingers into her body, grabbing the rib and putting it back in place before it started to heal.

She hears sounds above her as the humans make sounds of disgust. She ignores them, wiping her fingers on her skirt before getting up and pushing off the ground. She lands outside the crater just as AMAZO lands in front of her.

She didn’t think it could fly.

“Get out of here,” Kara tells the humans, glancing at them briefly so they knew she was talking to them before facing the android again.

AMAZO doesn’t move as most of the people listen to her, many of them jumping into random cars before driving off. Others ran into the buildings around them, their phones out to record the confrontation.

“What do you want?” Kara yelled at the android. Did Lane send it? Or was she being classified as a threat by the government? Or was this simply another test?

But why risk endangering the people, no matter why it was sent.

Kara reached up and tapped the radio on her right ear cuff, alerting Winn. It took a few moments for him to respond.

“Kara?” Winn asked.

“We have a situation. You should have my location. Send local law enforcement and close off this area. I’ll try and keep the fight here, but,” Kara stopped, allowing Winn to fill in the blanks.

“Is that the android?” Winn asked, no doubt looking at the video feed.

“Yeah,” Kara said as she took an experimented step forward, AMAZO copying her to the millisecond.

“Should I tell Lucy,” Winn asked as she heard him type rapidly on one of the other computers.

“If you want,” Kara said.

She couldn’t rush this. She couldn’t fly head first into the fight and endanger the people around her. She needed to think this through- out think it.

Would she even be able to outthink an android?

Kara walked towards it, AMAZO mimicking her. They moved in sequence, stopping less than a foot away from each other. Kara raised her right arm, her fist clenched, AMAZO doing the same.

Focus attacks only. She couldn’t risk sending him flying.

Kara jumps back, the android copying her-

She appears behind him, hitting as hard as she can through its body, pulling her hand free immediately. It turns around, moving to hit her, but she was already gon-

It hit her with heat vision, easily matching her speed.

Kara is pushed back into the sky, her arms crossed, making them take the brunt of the attack. The energy stops and when she looks AMAZO is already in front of her, moving to punch-

Kara crashes to the ground again, crying out as her back makes another crater. She pushes her power towards her brain as her body still processes its injuries.

Speeding up your thought process is similar to speeding up your body. Everything still slows down and people still stop moving. Noise filtered out, but-

Your body slows with everything else. Your limbs turn to lead and while Kara was conscious, she couldn’t move anything. She couldn’t even hear or feel herself breathing.

The first time she did it she whet into shock at the experience, waking up in the med bay on Fort Rozz, Hev-Zu standing over her. Because of that she never pushed all her power into her brain muscle. Unfortunately, this time she needed to.

This android was copying her, matching her abilities completely. It alien technology meant that it was capable of doing anything. It’s already shown that- And Kara didn’t know how to beat it.

She could stay in hyper-speed, but her energy would run out eventually… then again so will it’s.

Was that what she could do? Make it run out of energy? But what if just adapted the energy input, adapted to the loss of power?

She could rip it apart. While it could match her strength, it didn’t have the same invulnerability as Kara did. But if she did rip it apart she couldn’t just stop at one thing. She had, after all, just punched a hole in it’s chest and it was still moving.

However, if she wanted to do it fast then she would need to put all her energy into her strength. That meant no flight or speed, nor any heat vision. She might even compromise her invulnerability, leaving her defenseless-

She only had one shot at this.

She pulled her power from her mind and pushed it to her speed, feeling movability come back to her limbs as the scenery around her changed only slightly, people moving fast before slowing down again-

AMAZO was moving faster, at almost a normal walking speed. Kara stood up, clenching her jaw at the pain in her body before looking up. She watched as AMAZO got closer and closer. She knew she needed him to be almost near her before she could move, otherwise, he would just move with her.

Kara moved, AMAZO’s fist parting her hair as she left the area. She jumped on him and pulled her power quickly before shoving it into her strength.

Noise burst into her ears as her eyes tried to trace the movement around her. Kara forced herself to remain focused, grabbing one of AMAZO’s arms with her good hand, the other on his back before ripping the arm clear off. She moved to the second arm-

Kara cried out as AMAZO’s arm connected with the underside of her chin, throwing her into the air. She couldn’t concentrate as she then fell to the earth, her powers still only in her strength. She tried to push it into her flight, but her vision kept blanking as sound turned on and off around her.

She cried out as she felt the full force of her back hitting the ground. Her vision blurred, only vaguely making out the shape of AMAZO. She wavered between consciousness and unconsciousness and one-moment AMAZO was armless and the next he had two arms again.

It grabbed her by the shoulders, squeezing them- CRACK-CRACK – before slamming her on the ground again. It looked at her, tilting its head-

Kara cried out as it stepped on her, one foot on her hip and it raised the second one above her chest, intending to stomp down-

Well fuck.

Kara honestly thought she was getting this loop right. Now she had to start all over. With this thought she closed her eyes and let go, readying herself to wake up at her apartment. She ignored the sounds around her and the weight left her body, someone screaming her name-

She will have to hold back on her powers next time, not make the army so paranoid-

0000

Beep. Beep. Beep…

Kara struggled to open her eyes as she felt her body dead to the world- did she not loop? Was she finally dead? Was she going to open her eyes and find herself in Rao’s light, her mother ready to embrace her-

Beep. Beep. Beep…

Should she be feeling so much pain? And why couldn’t she open her eyes? Why couldn’t she move-

Beep. Beep. Beep…

People are talking around her. She couldn’t make out the words, but the accents sounded English. Was she still alive? How-

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A rumble and then panic. She feels her lungs stopping, air unable to get into her body- Why was there something in her throat?

Someone screaming next to her and she feels her body seized up- then suddenly she could breathe again.

Someone was stroking her hair, gently touching her face- Astra?

The hand jerks back- No. Astra! Come back. Please.

Please-

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Things are quiet. Kara still felt pain, but not as much. She remembers lying like this, Non coming into the room, taking her so gently into his arms-

She hated this-

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep-

0000

Kara gasped as her eyes snapped open, taking in the red light of the room. She coughs, bringing up her good hand to pull the tube out of her throat. She sits up, the machine next to her going crazy as it made sounds. Two nurses run into the room, looking at her with shock for the first few moments before one push her back onto her bed, checking her breathing as the other one called someone.

They danced around her, checking this thing and that thing. Slowly, almost like they were getting ready for her have a heart attack or go into shock, they take out the needles and take off the monitors till Kara was only covered with a thin hospital gown.

The nurses retreat, going to the door. Kara could see the vague shape of her sister as she moved back, leaning against the pillow the nursed place there. She couldn’t really make out the words, and Kara could feel her body trying to force it self-back to unconsciousness.

“Hey,” Alex said and Kara opened her eyes, not realizing when she closed them.

“Hey,” Kara said before coughing. Her voice was scratchy and sounded overused, “What happened.”

“Lane… we found proof that Lane ordered AMAZO to attack you,” Alex said, “It almost killed you-”

“Proof?” Kara interrupted. She was surprised that anyone could be so stupid to leave proof over such things, but she doesn’t really think much of Lane’s intelligence.

“Lucy… she found the evidence… She was promoted and awarded before being honorably discharged,” Alex told her rolling her eyes, “Apparently going through Lane’s things was a borderline court-martial offense. The only reason it wasn’t was because she found something.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t want that,” Kara said. The military meant so much to Lucy.

“She’s pretty ok with it… she found out the AMAZO was created to kill Kryptonians, just like you thought, and she said she couldn’t work for an organization that was so bluntly xenophobic,” Alex said.

Kara took a deep breath, nodding before she got a headache, “How- how did I survive. The last thing I remembered, the android was going to step on me.”

“Winn actually,” Alex said, “He was able to hack into the machine and turn it off just as it was going to kill you. He got it off you and just shut it down.”

“I don’t suppose I can get him in here to thank him?” Kara said with a small smile.

Alex smiled back before frowning, “You know he likes you right?”

“I know,” Kara said, “But I’ve never felt that way towards him… this doesn’t change that.”

“Are you going to tell him?” Alex asked.

“I’m waiting,” Kara said.

“For what? For him to continue to get his hopes up?” Alex asked, crossing her arms, “Kara you can’t keep doing that to him. You have to tell him the truth.”

“I’m going to Alex, but I can’t right now,” Kara said, smiling sadly, remembering her friend behind bars because of her, “He just doesn’t think of himself as much. He- If I tell him I care and love him, but I’m not in love with him… he wouldn’t- He wouldn’t care about how that makes him feel- wouldn’t care that it’s ok to be upset.”

Alex sighed and looked away, before looking back at Kara, her eyes far away, “You’re so different lately and I know you’re not ready to tell me why, but… part of me feels sad that I’ve missed this big change you're going through, and another part of me-”

Alex went quiet and Kara sighed in understanding, “Another part of you is scared. Scared that this change isn’t for the best.”

“Yeah,” Alex said and rubbed her head.

“What did the doctor say?” Kara asked, her mind still screaming at her to sleep, but her nerves refusing while she was in the DEO.

“Your healing well,” Alex said and sat down on the bed, only then did Kara see the tablet Alex was fidgeting with, “We picked you up in a helicopter and thanks to the information you sent on Kryptonian biology we were able to operate immediately… Both your shoulders where shattered, hip broken, several of your vertebra were where almost completely out of alignment… Thankfully they were able to put everything back in place. Since then we’ve been putting you under the sunbed we have for a few hours every day. Otherwise, you're in here- they were also able to work on your hand, but… but it- you will never have full movement again.”

Kara carefully lifted her hand, freely wiggling her fingers. She tried closing her hand, but couldn’t even get halfway before the pain started. She sighed, relaxing her hand and laying it back on the bed.

“How long have I been out?” Kara asked.

“About a week,” Alex said, “You had extensive damage to your spine and some head injuries we weren’t sure you’ll recover from.”

“A week,” Kara muttered as fear ran through her.

The earthquake!

“Alex I- I felt a tremor once,” Kara said, not sure how to bring up her question. Was the city still standing? How many people were dead? What about James and Winn?

“There was an earthquake about three days ago,” Alex said, nodding, “The DEO went into lockdown when one of our prisoners escaped. Everything is fine now, but… we need to talk about some things… about dad.”

“Yes, of course,” Kara agreed, “But what about National City?”

“Yeah,” Alex said and looked down. She shifted the tablet in her arms and typed in a few things before turning the screen to Kara.

Kara feared for a moment that the city was completely destroyed. That they called for her blood, for not saving them. But that wasn’t the case.

The video came to life, Max on the screen. Kara remembered the interview he gave the first time, the one that told them they could rely on her-

“-Supergirl is in the hospital, fighting for her life after our government tried to kill her. We can’t stand around, blaming her for not being here. People need help now-” Max said, Alex pausing the video.

“Well, that’s different,” Kara said, surprised the man was defending her.

“We know you went to talk to him,” Alex admitted, “I don’t know what you said to him.”

“I don’t either,” Kara said, “And I know the DEO has been keeping tabs on me.”

“Sorry,” Alex muttered, turning the tablet back to her and pressing a few more things before pointing it back to Kara.

Kara gasped as the videos played. The first was from the interview given by Max. The camera swings to the sky suddenly and you see a near dozen figures dress in black flying into the city. The camera follows them and you can see them break off to different areas of the city.

Alex switches the video and Kara watches the YouTube video of a Kryptonian blowing out a fire before helping people out of the building. The next video showed a Kryptonian getting cars from the broken bridge. There were videos of them taking people to the hospital. There were videos everywhere… and in every one, they were helping the city- no the people.

Kara’s reached up, dragging one video to the front. It was Non, grabbing a child and it’s mother from a crashed car. The mother lets go quickly, but the child clings to him, refusing to be moved. She watches as he whispered something to the child before finally getting it into their parent’s arms. Non took his hand and whipped the child’s tears away before carefully petting their hair. He then stepped away and pushed off.

“There is another one of him,” Alex said and quickly typed some things before turning the tablet back to her.

It was the security camera at CatCo. Winn and James were helping people out of the elevator when James falls. A figure zips into the room and down the shaft. Non comes back up, James in his arms. He places him down before getting the rest of the people to safety. Kara watches as he moves away, his head swirling around like he was looking for something. His head snapped to James, Kara didn’t know why. Anya appears and talks to Non in kryptonese, Kara recognizing the language from how their lips moved, before they leave.

Non lingers for a second.

“I don’t… why would they do this?” Kara asked. They didn’t do this last time. They hid, pretending they weren’t apart of the world.

But now…

“We were hoping you might have a reason,” J’onn said as he came into the room.

Kara shook her head, reaching out to the tablet. Alex’s hand hovered just in case Kara dropped it, but Kara just ignored it. She searched other videos, but there were few that had a good view of a Kryptonian's face was seen. She recognized all of them, easily putting names to bodies.

They were all that were loyal to Non and Astra. Truly loyal, and not just following them because of the promise of power once Myriad was active.

One of the most prominent videos was of Hev-Zu by the paramedics, easily and quickly healing most of the injuries. He was using kryptonain technology and many people have commented on it. Mostly good comments, but a few racist and xenophobic comments were in-between.

“We know you met with Non,” J’onn said as he came to stand next to her bed.

Kara didn’t look at him as she replayed the video of Non saving the mother and child, “We talked.”

“Why?” J’onn asked.

“Why did we talk? Or why did we only talk?” Kara asked as she paused the video on Non’s face as he pets the child’s head. Kara couldn’t stop a small smile for gracing her lips, “He always did have a soft spot for children,” Kara muttered to herself.

“The latter,” J’onn said, getting annoyed with her.

Kara sighed and put down the tablet before looking at J’onn, “Because the situation around Astra, Non and those that stood with them is extremely complicated.”

“From what I heard they were terrorists,” J’onn said.

“And I told you, you don’t have all the information,” Kara told him.

“Kara, we just want to understand,” Alex said, defending J’onn.

Oh, so this was when Alex found out that J’onn was J’onn and not Hank.

“Non was aware of Krypton’s impending doom. He was working as security for Jor-El when Jor-El was on the expedition that found proof that our core was destabilizing. They returned to Kandor and presented their findings to the Science Council, but they weren’t believed. Desperate, they went to the High Council, hoping they would listen to them- they didn’t. Instead, they were called heretics and threatened. They weren’t allowed to mention what they found to anyone. Jor-El agreed, Non didn’t.

Non told anyone he could about what was happening, but he was discredited and made into a crazy man. Dru- Zod and his mate and second in command, Ursa, finally believed him. They planned to force the High Council to act, but were captured.

The High Council decided to deal with the three on their own, and not report them to the intergalactic council. But this also meant they had no court logs for they were not processed legally. My father, Non’s friend, begged for his life and the High Council agreed, under one condition.

Non would be lobotomized, ensuring he will never be a problem again.

If you know anything about Kryptonian you would know this was worse than death, worse than imprisonment. It’s like blinding a man, making him deaf, and cutting off his hands. You then leave him on his own, refusing to help him and then calling him a blight, and a nuisance, acting like he did that to himself. 

Astra saved Non, but Dru-Zod and Ursa Dru-Zod were thrown into the Phantom Zone in capsules. They were never even sent to Fort Rozz.

Non and Astra work behind the scenes, doing different things to save everyone. They tried activating the City Ships, but all the engines were disabled and power sources removed. They tried making an organization to convince people of the truth, but they were betrayed…

Time was running out and they ended with a Last Resort.

They were captured and again Krypton refused to inform the Intergalactic Council, even though the situation demanded that they do… they were sentenced by my mother, the only reason so they can seal the records that only the High Council could access them,” Kara said, her mind going to when she found out herself, remembered throwing things around, cursing all that were involved.

“They were criminals,” J’onn told her and Kara shook her head.

“They were desperate,” Kara told them, “The High Council refused the accept the facts, hiding the truth from everyone, ensuring no one would believe them. They did everything in the name of saving people… did they do the right thing? No. What they did, what they tried to do was horrible, but why they did it- what forced them to do it… that’s not on them.”

“And what? You're trying to get them back to the ‘light side’,” J’onn mocked.

“Why not?” Kara asked, “I’m trying to remind them ‘why’. Why they did it. What made them care… why are they still trying to save this planet? And that it’s more than saving a piece of rock.”

“Do you honestly believe you can get through to them?” J’onn asked, disbelief coloring his words.

Kara smiled and picked up the tablet, the video still paused on Non, gently dragging his fingers through a child’s hair, “It seems Director… I already have.”

“You have no way of knowing that,” J’onn argued. She could understand where he was coming from. He didn’t want her to get her hopes up, didn’t want her to get manipulated. But he also wanted to make sure she was still willing to fight for them, for humans.

Unfortunately for him, Kara did know that it was working.

“But it’s something,” Kara replied.

J’onn shook his head, looking at her with pity, “You can’t save everyone.”

“Watch me.”

0000

Kara read through the news reports later that day. J’onn had left, knowing he wouldn’t be able to convince her of his truth, and Alex left, quiet contemplation on her face. Kara wasn’t sure what they were going to do with the information she gave them, or even if it affected them. J’onn saw everything in black and white, but this situation was so complicated…

After all, even the Joker is sent to an asylum after everything he’s done.

Kara sighed, looking away from everyone praising the new Kryptonians, only a few being cautious and wondering where they were from. She was glad they helped, but she also knew they were dangerous… and she also didn’t know their reasons for doing what they did.

“Knock-knock,” Winn’s voice carried into the room as the door opened, the man knocking on the wall next to it.

“Winn,” Kara said with a smile. The smile got even bigger when James and Lucy walked in. She reached out her broken hand to them and said, “My heroes.”

She laughed slightly as they all blushed before arranging themselves around them, Kara demanding hugs before they sat down.

“Lucy, I am so sorry-” Kara started.

“Kara, no. I’m sorry for not believing you. I knew my father had issues with Kryptonians, but not like this. I never even imagined-I should have listened. What if you died?” Lucy said.

“Hey, no. This is on your dad and the idiots that agreed with him, not you. You love your father, of course you’re not going to believe the worst in him,” Kara said.

“But-”

“No buts. Besides. Winn was able to save me,” Kara said and held out her hands to Lucy and Winn, both taking a hand.

“It was really close Kara,” Winn said, his face white, “I almost didn’t-”

“But you did! And that’s all that mattered now,” Kara said smiling.

They smiled at her, but she knew this would hunt them forever. She turned to James and asked, “Are you ok? I know about your fall.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. That guy, Non I think his name was, he saved me and everyone in that office,” James said.

“I saw,” Kara said, holding up her tablet after letting go of the other two, “So, James. What was it like being carried like a princess?”

James made a face at her before telling her, “Superman actually does carry everyone like that.”

“So it wasn’t your first time,” Kara said, putting slight inflection on the last two words while blinking innocently.

The other two laughed while James rolled his eyes. Kara heard Winn actively try to get his laughter under control before responding, “There’s actually a video on YouTube of Superman saving James.”

Kara gasped dramatically, “James! How dare you not tell us!” before turning to Lucy, “Oh Lucy! I’m so sorry you had to find out like this!”

“I knew,” Lucy said, pretending to wipe tears from her eyes, “I’ve always known. That’s why I don’t try to compete with James’s special boyfriend.”

Kara forced herself to laugh, hoping the flow of the sound hadn’t changed. She remembered the first time she heard those words. Back when Lucy didn’t know anything, back when she was jealous, back when-

(She knew what she was fighting for. She sees the line in the sand, separating the high contrasting black and white. She knows she’s on the side of right and that everyone else had to be stopped. She was good. She wasn’t a bad person, no matter what others said.)

It happened a lot, things repeating randomly. They happen out of order, sometimes change drastically, but they still repeat.

“He was looking for you,” James said suddenly and they all stopped laughing, “Non, I mean.”

Kara smiled sadly, “You don’t know that.”

“I do,” James said softly, “He looked around and I whispered that you were alive and he just looked at me… he worries about you.”

Kara looked down, “James-”

“Who is he? To you I mean?” James asked.

“He’s my Aunts husband. Kind of my Uncle, but not because of cultural reasons,” Kara tells them, still looking down, “I knew him before they married- through Zor-El and Jor-El since they sometimes worked together. And they had similar backgrounds- mothers that beat the crap out of them…I’m trying to help him- and Astra and all of them- since I don’t think they’re a lost cause… It’s stupid, I know,” Kara finished and rubbed her head.

“They might not want help,” Lucy tells her.

“That doesn’t mean I’m not going to try,” Kara said and leaned back as she looked up, her eyes moving to over James’s head at the end of her bed. She sees them exchange looked. Worried and… disbelieving?

“Ok guys,” Alex said as she entered the room, “Visiting’s over. Kara needed to rest.”

There was some grumbling, but they all got up and walked out of the room. They all paused to give her hand a slight squeeze, which Kara smiled at. She turned to Alex when they were all gone and mouthed ‘thank you’ at the older woman for letting them visit.

Alex nodded and closed the door, leaving Kara with the monitors and her thoughts. She sighed and turned back to her tablet, her fingers flying to bring up the CatCo video without thinking. She watched it over and over, her eyes never leaving Non-

Why did this happen this time? Because of one talk? Was that all she needed to do this entire time? Just talk to him?

Kara sighed deeply, leaned her head back and started to sing softly… the very song that never leaves her.

00000

Extra:

James was worried. And when he looks at the faces of Winn and Lucy, they were worried too. When he looks through the door ‘window’ and see Kara still staring at that paused video, the worrying gets worse.

“Thanks for coming,” Alex said, also staring at Kara, this sad look on her face.

“Sorry we couldn’t help,” Winn said, “I know we were supposed to distract-”

“I don’t trust him,” James said suddenly, “This Non guy.”

“No one does,” Alex tells him, “We’ve picked up a few of the Fort Rozz criminals that know him personally and what they have to say -he’s using her… He knows she’s sympathetic to him- knows she’s desperate to save him and he’s using that against her.”

“And she doesn’t even realize it,” Lucy said softly and for a moment James wasn’t sure if Lucy was talking about Kara or herself.

“I’m scared it’s going to get worse- scared whatever he said or did to her-”

Waves crash in James’s ears and he stops listening to Alex.

Did to her?

James looks at Kara again, looks at the soft look on her face as a small smile pulls at her lips. Her figure bush against Non’s ‘face’ and suddenly her expression changes- like she was in pain. She places the tablet to the side and her good hand rubs at her chest, right between her breast-

No, don’t look at that-

James looks at her face again and it seemed like tears were gathering in her eyes-

What if Non was the man that hurt her? The one that made her have that flashback? Could he have made Kara think he actually cares about her- that he loves her? Was she fighting with herself on what to feel for him?

A hand drops on his arm and James turns to Lucy and she smiles at him, “She’ll be alright- we’ll make sure of it.”

“But what if-”

“We can’t think like that James…we just can’t,” Lucy tells him.

James looks back at Kara, asleep now with tears running down her face… and a part of him knows they were already too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Non’s History & Knowing about Krypton’s fate: This is mostly comic canon. In the comics, Non was actually the one that taught Jor-El science, and they did find out about Krypton’s destruction while on a polar expedition. They brought their finding to the Science Council but were branded heretics and their finding false. They were told to never talk about what they found out. Jor-El agreed, but Non refused. He started telling people, getting Dru-Zod (commonly known as General Zod) and Zod’s mate Ursa on his side. The three were captured together. The High Council cut out Non’s tongue and did something to his brain that made him stupid to the point that he couldn’t generate any higher thought at all. (This is compared to the fact that he used to be one of Krypton’s greatest scientist.) Thus, Non became the mindless brute everyone knows in the comics and the film Superman II (1980).  
> Obviously, that didn’t happen in the Supergirl series. I assume Astra rescued him because we find out at the end of Season 2 that Kal has fought Zod.  
> I’m going with pretty much what is what happened in the comics, except Non wasn’t lobotomized.  
> I took some liberties because Non is pretty intelligent in the Supergirl TV show, and he has the new relationship with Astra (who never existed in the comics).  
> The Grey Area of Myriad: Was Myriad bad? Yes. What they tried to do was horrible. But why they did it, why they needed to go to that length- that was even worse. I honestly believe they were pushed into a corner and did the only thing they could think of doing. That they were so desperate, that it was all they could do. I honestly believe they lost sight of what their actual end goal was- which was to save the people of Krypton- till it became a mutated belief that they need to save the planet, damn anyone that got in their way. They stopped caring about the people they wanted to save.  
> Supergirl and Non: At the moment, Kara is a bit obsessed. She knows she has unlimited time and is using that to her advantage. Why does she concentrate on saving Non? Because she knows she can get through to Astra. Astra is the easy one. The one that will change side just because of who Kara is, but Non wouldn’t. And Kara wouldn’t let herself lose him. So she works on him, works on people not seeing him as the monster- but all people see is a young girl obsessed with an older man.  
> James is kind of right. Non did hurt Kara- did kill her and everything else he did in the first timeline. And Kara remembers that. But she also remembers another side of him, the side she prefers- and that is the side she’s fighting for… that is the thing that is driving her at the moment.


	15. The Changes Before Us Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lord Industries is attacked, but the outcome isn't at all like it was originally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: Heart of a Hero  
> Chapter Title: The Changes Before Us Part 3  
> Fandom: Supergirl (2015), Elements of Man of Steel, Lois & Clark: Adventures of Superman, Comic book world (so many of them), Superman Unbound, New 52, Supergirl (1984), Smallville, Young Justice  
> Rating: Low M  
> Pairings: Canon only  
> Background: Personal interpretation of Kryptonian Culture/ History/ Social Structure/ etc  
> Summary: Kara knew there was only a small chance she could stop Non. He had years of experience over her. But never did she expect, even as she laid dying, that she will wake up in her bed. The same day of Alex’s flight to Geneva.  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Supergirl   
> Note* Warning. This will end up as Non/Kara, but it will also be a slow burn.   
> WARNING! Graphic description of Torture + Major Character Death + Suicide + Rape  
> Note* Timeline 35 “Italics” –Kryptonese, “Normal” – English, bold = flashback

Timeline 35

Kara wanted to punch something when she returns to CatCo the very day the email scandal happens. She honestly wanted to just grab Dirk Armstrong, drag him to Cat’s office and scream ‘This is the man that did it!’ But she knew she couldn’t. This was, unfortunately, a situation where she had to follow the script.

She smiled at all the well wishes and people coming up to her to tell her they were happy she was better. Alex told her that the story was she had been in a car accident before the destruction around National City. The accident happened outside of National City and that’s where she was in the hospital.

Kara arrived at her desk, waving to Winn before quickly entering Cat’s office as she spoke to her lawyers. Kara kept quiet as they tell her she couldn’t just sue everyone, Cat eventually dismissing them before turning to Kara.

“Kiera, should you be up?” Cat asked.

“I’ve been given a pretty clean bill of health Miss Grant,” Kara said, keeping her face passive. Cat nodded and waved her over.

“May I ask what you are planning to do?” Kara asked, already knowing the answer.

“I need to get ahead of this, contain it before it gets worse, but I don’t know who I’m fighting,” Cat muttered. She was quiet for a few moments before looking at Kara again, “Schedule a meeting with the board. And also, go through every single one of my e-mails and flag anything that can be used against me. If there is something damning, I want to find it before the world does.”

“I may need help,” Kara said as she typed in what she needed to do, “It’s a lot of emails after all.”

“Only people you trust. James Olsen and that handsome little Hobbit who has more cardigans than you do,” Cat said and Kara raised an eyebrow.

“You mean Winn? Who’s been working here longer then I have,” Kara said, her voice flat.

“I can hear your irritation, I just don’t care,” Cat said as she put on her glasses and waved Kara out of her office.

Kara rolled her eyes and headed to the printers.

0000

They pretty much did the same thing as the first timeline. Kara and James went through the emails while Winn tried to trace the hack. This time, however, Kara speeded through almost all the emails, while she waited for the meeting, knowing Winn wouldn’t find anything till then.

After the meeting she wavered near the elevator this time, making her ‘overhear’ what Armstrong said more plausible. She honestly didn’t want to go through the whole ‘Kara is Supergirl’ thing with Cat. She then told Winn and James and they talked to Lucy again before planting the bug.

Astra doesn’t come to talk to her.

Neither does Non.

0000

Kara sighed as she sat down at her desk, even though she wanted to do nothing more than fall into it her chair and just sleep. The whole scandal was annoying, not just while it happened, but the cleanup of it all.

News agencies were still releasing emails, some with even more prejudice since Armstrong had been arrested. While Cat was handling that with the board and the lawyers, Kara had to take care of everything else.

She met with people to determine layouts. She needed to go over several articles for editing and even more she sent back to rewrite completely. She had to make sure the website was updated and then talked to the IT team to make sure no one can post things for the next few days till everything calmed down.

Then there were all the things she still needed to do for Cat.

“-Lena Luthor has officially been declared missing today when, after a week of no contact, the polices found her home broken into-”

Kara looked up as the news played out, the station showing a photo of Lex Luthor’s younger sister. Kara had vaguely heard of the woman before. She had never participated in Lex’s schemes against Superman, nor has she done anything to make Kara assume she wanted to get revenge for her brother’s incarceration.

“Um, Kara,” Winn said, drawing Kara’s attention from the news.

“Winn?” Kara asked.

“You bag is glowing,” Winn whisper harshly.

Kara blinked and looked down, freezing when she saw the Kryptonian communicator.

“Damn it,” Kara said as she grabbed her bag before turning to Winn, “I have to go.”

“Be careful,” Winn called and she just raised her hand at him.

She slipped into the little office Winn made for them and changed, making sure the door was locked before speeding her body up, wincing as she did so. She didn’t lie to Cat really. While completely healed, overuse of her powers did hurt somewhat.

She flew out of the window and headed towards Lord Industries.

0000

The DEO wasn’t there. She knew they were on their way, she could hear them, but also knew they would be too late.

Lord didn’t confront the Kryptonians this time, leading any of his employees still working out of the building.

“Max,” Kara said softly as she landed next to the back door. One or two people hesitated upon seeing her, but the security forced them to move.

“Kharha,” Max said, “They’re still inside. Two of them are circling the building.”

Kara looked up, unsurprised to find Non and Astra flying around. While on earth, generals and such only gave orders, it was different on Krypton. The strongest fighters had the highest ranks, but were almost always the bait. They there the ones that were in the thick of battle. It was only when the squadron had a Verh Hasrah that the General didn’t fight on the front lines.

Non was a Verh Hasrah.

“Is everyone out?” Kara asked.

“Yeah. I shut down everything, pulled the power and turned off the backup generators. You said they might want to use my technology…” Max said, leaving the sentence open.

“I see them,” Kara told the man, “They're trying to get into your computers. They already got the power back.”

“Damn it. I was hoping that would slow them down more,” Max muttered.

“They brought an outside power source,” Kara told him.

“Really?” Max said, interest easy heard in his voice.

Kara suppressed a laugh and shook her head, “Down boy.”

Max frowned at her, “I thought you’re not supposed to say that.”

“It was a joke, but your right-sorry,” Kara told him, “Get to safety… and I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Max asked.

“Breaking your stuff,” Kara said and pushed off into the building, ignoring Non and Astra.

She sped into the computer room, finding several Kryptonians. They stopped and turned to her, the guards immediately moving to attack her. Kara grabbed two and swag them through a computer terminal before allowing herself to be punched into a second computer, making sure to break that as well.

“You cannot fight here! Get her out!” one of the Kryptonians called.

“Get the General!” another shouted.

One- Hel-Ul- grabbed and lifted her, moving them out of the room, and into the main lobby. He pushed her off and she crashed into the floor. Kara opened her eyes just in time to see Non crash through the roof towards her.

Kara rolled out of the way and stood up. She could see the others back of as Non held still across from her.

“One chance,” Kara said, “Stop this and leave.”

“You do not command us, M’Lady,” Non said, the last word dripped like venom.

“So be it,” Kara said and charged at him. He charged back and they grabbed each other, spinning from the two forces trying to best one another.

Kara kicked him away, making sure they stayed over the building. She knew she couldn’t take this fight to the city, there were too many opportunities for loss of life that way. She also needed to give Max time to get all the people away.

Non sneered at her and charged at her again. She ducked and moved to punch him in the back. She hit him, but he still turned around and grabbed her and pushed her to the ground, slamming her into it. Kara sped up her body, recovering from the fall quickly and getting out of the crater.

She turned to him as he stood up. He held still, waiting for her to attack. Kara reached up to the cape and released it swiftly. She bundled it up and threw it to the side before getting into the Kryptonian fighting stand.

Non’s eyes swept over her before staring into her eyes, his face expressionless- no, he was studying her, trying to figure her out. He copied her stand and Kara took a deep breath.

And they ran to each other.

Kara could close her eyes and match the man. She knew every punch and kick. She knew that sweep he did with his arm when he falls to one knee. She knows how he would purposely leave himself open to attack.

She also knows he would match her power, dragging the fight out as long as he could.

Block. Block. Punch. Swirl. Drop. Roll. Jump. Punch. Block. Block. Kick. Jump.

And repeat.

Kara grabbed one of his fists, trying to get him into a headlock while he tried to do the same to her. She pushed away before speeding up and reappearing behind him. She jumped slightly and hit hard on his back, causing him to fall to the ground. He rolled on his back, his heat vision active.

Kara activated her own and their beams connected. He stood up, intending to push her away from him. But Kara wouldn’t let that happen. She took steps forward as she pushed more power into her eyes. She could hear him take a few steps back.

She needed to break the connection. Slowly she started to push her power into her speed-

Pain. Heat. Her muscles seizing up.

Kryptonite!

Kara immediately pulled all her power and pushed it into her speed. She dropped drown, out of the way of Non’s continued heat vision before pushed from the ground towards him. She grabbed him by the waist as the green light started to fill her vision.

She slammed him to the ground, her body forced to return to normal speed when the kryptonite energy blast flew over them. She turned her head, one hand keeping Non on his back, to see DEO agents moving toward them.

Kara looked back to him, her eyes wide, “Get your men out of here.”

Non struggled for a few seconds, but stopped when he heard her tone. His eyes moved to the DEO agents before returning to her. She watched as he tithed his arm, making a show of putting his force into his next attack.

“Fly up,” Non murmured softly and punched her. Kara used the rather weak attach to propel herself into high into the air. She watched as Non quickly got up and follow her. He grabbed her shoulders, pain ripped through her, and pushed them higher into the air.

Then stopped. Non let her go, hovering near as he brought his wrist to his mouth, “Retreat.”

Kara rubbed one shoulder before going to the next as she listened to the reply, “The scientists are still in the building. They are pinned down!”

Kara cursed in English before looking down, trying to find the scientists. She couldn’t find them specifically, but she did find the lead room they were in, DEO agents around them.

“Found them. We can crash into the area, give them time to get out,” Kara said.

“Why would you help us?” Non asked, her eyes narrowed and his body tense.

“Because I’m not a fan of kryptonite,” Kara said.

“Kryptonite?” Non asked.

“The green glow. The heat and pain,” Kara explained.

Non nodded, “I felt my body seize up.”

“Low grade can leave us weak, but the concentration the DEO is using, it could kill in one hit,” Kara said, “I will not allow that.”

“Shall we?” Non said and charged her, pushing her down before she could even answer. Kara maneuvered them so they would hit just in front of the DEO agents, scattering them.

Kara struggled to get up, making a show of it. Non got up and punched her and she flew into the mass of agents. She got up and smashed into Non. He ended up on his back and Kara punched him a few times before he pushed her off.

She stepped back as Non got up. Taking two steps to the left she ran towards him, angling her body so that Non knew to grab her wrists and spin her around before throwing her toward the agents.

Kara coughed as she sat up, watching as the last scientist got out through the hole she and Non made, Non using large slabs to stop the Kryptonite blasts-

“No!” Kara yelled as he was hit in the back. She winced as the agents ran towards him, cuffing him as the broken kryptonite weapons around her drained her strength. She took a deep breath, moving towards him, but knew she couldn’t free him.

Not without being labeled a traitor-

And going back into that kryptonite cell.

Kara’s body tense as she backed away, still looking Non in the eyes. She forced herself to look away before turning and getting away from the green glow.

She looked around the main entrance as people threw covers over the dead. She recognized all of them, both human and alien. She looked up as J’onn walked towards her.

“Astra took Alex,” J’onn told her and Kara felt her blood freeze.

“We have one of the Kryptonians,” one of the agents said, running up.

“Good. Get it back to the base,” J’onn said and turned, heading back to the exit.

“I’m coming with you,” Kara said and J’onn paused, turning slightly.

“Why? I thought you didn’t approve of the DEO,” J’onn said.

“I don’t. But My sister is missing and I’m the only one Non will talk to,” Kara said, “You need me.”

“Fine,” J’onn said and walked away.

Kara rubbed her head. Everything was wrong, different. Astra had Alex and Non was in custody. Lane was no longer part of the Military and…

She caused it all.

0000

Kara walked into Non’s cell room, stopping when she saw the green light surrounding him. She knew about it, but still seeing it made her testy. She squared her shoulders and walked further into the room.

Non looked up from his place on the floor, but didn’t actually get up.

“I would ask you where Astra took Alex, but I doubt you will tell me. I would ask you how to contact Astra, but I doubt that would be necessary. She will contact us once she realizes we have you. No doubt she took Alex in case something like this happened,” Kara said as she walked around the cell, “And if you do say anything I’ll take it with a grain of salt. Because you will no doubt lead us into a trap.”

“Then why are you here,” Non said as he closed his eyes.

Kara stopped and swallowed, “They’re bringing in someone to strike a deal. A Dirhanve… I ask that you meet with them and cooperate.”

“You were right,” Non said and stood up. He turned to her and held up his hand, pushing against the glass. Kara looked away. The humans wouldn’t see it, but she could already see how the skin on his hand was being destroyed and regenerated continuously, “It burns.”

“I’ve tried to convince them to switched to red sun radiation, but they wouldn’t hear it,” Kara said, looking at the panel on the wall.

“They are afraid of me,” Non said, “Like you are afraid of them.”

Kara turned to him sharply, “I’m not afraid of them.”

Non looked at her silently for a few moments, “One, two, three… one, two, three,” Non said, actually counting something. Kara narrowed her eyes at him, concentrating on his face so not look at the green light everywhere.

“You rub the base of each finger three times before moving to the next. You refuse to look at the cell around me and when you realized they were using those weapons you moved me out of the way… you are afraid Kara, more then you want to admit,” Non said softly.

Kara looked down at her hands, staring at the red skin at the base of her fingers as she rubbed them raw. She separated her hand immediately, crossing her arms and looking at the floor.

“What did they do to you?” Non asked.

Kara ignored him as she closed her eyes-

(She cries silently at night, wishing the pain was gone. She gets used to it, learns to move normally, act normally under the green light. During the days she can ignore it. When she moves she can pretend it’s not there, but lying still, trying to sleep? All of it just presses onto her.)

\- When she opened them she walked right up to Non, staring at him without blinking, “I will get Alex back. She is the most important thing in my life. More than my fears, more than my wants. More than Astra. More than you.”

Non frowned at her, his eyebrows pulling together at her last statement before backing away. Kara did the same, turning to the exit and leaving without another word.

Kara walks past several agents, moving straight through and making them half jump out of her way. She could tell they turned to her when they assumed she couldn’t see or hear them insult her to their fellow agents, forgetting- or not caring- that she can hear them.

She enters the command center, watching J’onn order the people around him as one of the screens showed Non constantly. Kara glanced at it, staring at Non as he sat on the floor calmly facing the door, not moving.

“Will he cooperate?” J’onn asked her, drawing her attention to him.

“It’s complicated-” Kara started, her sentenced interrupted as the screens fuzzed out before Astra appears on them.

“This is General Astra-Zee of Krypton. We each possess someone of great value to the other, I purpose a trade,” Astra said, looking at Kara.

(Kara feels unnecessary as Non doesn’t even look at her, speaking only to Alex. It hurts, him not even acknowledging her and it makes her feel unsure of what to do with herself.)

“I am Lady Kara-El of Krypton. Forgive me if I do not take you at your word, dear Aunt. I demand to see my Shesurie,” Kara said, ignoring J’onn’s glare at her, his expression changing as he hears the Kryptonian word.

Astra moves out of the way and Kara sees Alex strapped in the same chair J’onn had been in the first timeline.

“Kara. Don’t do it. You can’t release Non. It doesn’t matter what they do to me,” Alex half screams, but Kara ignores her. Instead, she presses a finger on the plan metal band around her wrist, a see-through badge hologram appearing above it. Kara pressed on the hologram and eventually an image of Non appearing on it, causing J’onn’s eyes to widen. Whether it was because of the technology or the casual way she hacked into the DEO computers, she wasn’t sure.

“Is he harmed?” Astra asked.

“Nothing permanent,” Kara answers honestly, “The green glow is a substance that is radioactive to us. The percentage being emitted is enough to horribly limit his powers, most of his energy being traversed to regenerate skin tissue constantly.”

“I see,” Astra said, “How long till permanent damage?”

(Kara trains every two days, giving her powers time to properly heal her body and get her energy to full reserves…She notices the rashes on her skin the days between Lane coming to her. They only heal semi-completely when they put her under the sun lamp to recharge her powers… Kara takes a skin sample and exposes it to both sunlight and kryptonite at the same time. It takes about a week for the kryptonite to full overpower the sunlight. The skin starts taking in the energy slower and slower, the Kryptonite destroying the parts of the DNA that converts the sunlight into energy.)

“At that intensity, he can stay in there for another 87 hours and 21 minutes before permanent cellular damage,” Kara tell both Astra and the DEO agents around her.

“Then you have 72 hours to make the exchange. I will send you the co-ordnance,” Astra said, “But be warned, dear niece. If any harm befalls my mate, you will not get your soul sister back in one piece.”

“I will personally ensure his safety,” Kara said.

“Agreed,” Astra said and ended the transmission.

Kara let out a breath, looking at her the hologram as numbers and letter appeared on the screen. Kryptonian mapping, she realized.

Krypton didn’t have a north and south pole, the planet’s electromagnetic energy in complete balance. Thus, instead of north and south points on the map, the planet was divided into Kanhes – segments. There were 345 Kanhe, starting with the planet’s capital, Kandor, which was later turned into Argo. In each Kanhe you started in the middle of the area and moved in out circles like ripples in water. A Kanhe had between 20-30 ‘ripples’, called Ferreda. And each Ferreda was divided into 20-degree segments called Gret, with zero degrees starting from the linear direction from the first Kanhe.

Kara looked through the data, realizing Astra probably counted Fort Rozz as the first Kanhe.

“You had no right-” J’onn started.

“Astra wasn’t talking to you,” Kara told him, “She took Alex because of me and she knew that she had a better chance of getting her mate back if she appealed to my connection with Alex rather than yours. Also, by taking the Ladyship and ailing myself with you I am saying I am the person to deal with. I set myself as an important person in the eyes of the Kryptonian people. They would rather deal with someone they knew will have the same morals as them, since they will be able to predict my actions.”

“We have Non,” J’onn told her.

Kara turned to him, “And if anything happens to him, I’ll take him from you,” Kara said, turning off the hologram while moving to face J’onn completely, “Let’s use this as an exercise in trust. If you can prove to me you can handle this situation without resorting to unethical actions, I might be more willing to work with you and provide more information.

“That would be something the American Government wouldn’t mind having Lady El,” a voice said from behind her.

Kara turned, her body freezing up when she saw Colonel James Harper standing next to an unknown man. The unknown man walked up to her, holding out his hand, smiling at her, a strange glint in his eyes.

“Pete Ross,” Pete Ross said as Kara took his hand and gave a firm handshake, “I’m been asked by the president to attempt a truce between the Kryptonians and the Earth.

Kara raised an eyebrow, “All the Kryptonians?”

Pete Ross frowned as they released hands, “You don’t believe that is possible.”

“While the situation around Astra, Non and their squadron are difficult, they are not the only Kryptonians that were sent to Fort Rozz,” Kara said.

“I read the report concerning the situation around their incarceration- the information you gave us,” Pete Ross said, “But from what I understand Astra had taken command of most of the Fort Rozz criminals.”

“Yes, but not everyone is loyal to her. Many only listen to her because they have been promised something,” Kara tells them.

(Anya-Nar tells her to stay away for very specific people. Tells her they wouldn’t hesitate to kill her. Kara is reminded of the three that attacked her. She sees them around a few times, but they don’t approach her. Others look at her, and she sees things in their eyes that make her skin crawl. She is reminded of Lane and men that look at her like she was an object to own.)

“And how do you know that?” Harper said as he moved closer. Kara looked at him and he held out his hand, “Colonel James Harper, United States Marine Core.”

Kara doesn’t take his hand and her eyes don’t leave his face. She knows he is part of Project Cadmus, something she still needed to research fully, maybe find Jerimiah-

She can’t believe she forgot about Jeremiah.

“I’m here to extract any information from the prisoner that I can-” Harper said as he lowered his hand.

Kara couldn’t help but laugh suddenly, causing everyone to look at her. She shook her head, her smile grim as she spoke without looking at them, her eyes trained on the small screen that showed Non, “You’re talking about torture -  it will not help you. Non’s been tortured dozens of times, nothing you do is going to make him talk. Despite that,” Kara turned to him, looking him in the eyes, “You’re not going near him.”

She could feel the air change around her. Harper looked at her with narrowed eyes and the men he brought with him, who entered while she was talking to Pete Ross, shift their weight as they gripped their weapons tighter.

“Excuse me?” Harper said, taking a step towards her, trying to intimidate her.

“You’re not excused,” Kara said turning away and waving a hand in his direction, “You will not take a single step inside Non’s cell. You will not interrogate him. You will not force him to reveal any information- you will not do anything to him.”

“You do not order me,” Harper said, his voice switching from the present tone he used earlier.

“I don’t care,” Kara said, looking him in the eye, “You do anything to that man, and you will regret it.”

Harper smirked at her, like he wasn’t scared- no- like he knew he could stop her from doing anything. Kara narrowed her eyes and turned to Pete Ross.

“As for the truce. You will have to talk to Astra if you want to come to an agreement. You can’t do it through Non,” Kara said.

“Isn’t he her second in command?” Pete asked.

“Yes, but it’s not a situation of command,” Kara said, “It’s a situation of skills. Non isn’t trained to be a mediator. Astra is. If you want a truce Pete Ross, you will have to observe Kryptonian customs to do it.”

“I see,” Pete Ross said as he pulled out a tablet from his bag, “And how will that work?”

“Since we already have a prisoner exchange scheduled, no other agreements can be presented till it is done-” Kara said.

“We will not return the prisoner to them,” Harper said.

“That is not your choice,” Kara said.

“And how does the prisoner exchange work. Does that need, what did you called it, ‘mediator skills’?” Pete Ross asked.

“It depends who you make the agreement with. Since Astra talked to me, it’s an emotional connection. If she addressed Director Henshaw it would have been skill. That’s why she didn’t send an ultimatum- she knows the exchange will happen,” Kara said.

“And if it was only skill?” Pete Ross asked.

“She knows there would a possibility that Non will be killed,” Kara said, “Keeping him, and Agent Danvers alive would be counterproductive to winning. If we didn’t have Non… Alex would already be dead. She’s extremely skillful, removing her is… strategy.”

“So why haven’t they tried with you?” Pete Ross said, “Why haven’t they recruited you or killed you?”

“Who says they haven’t?” Kara said, smiling humorlessly. The tense feeling returned as several people shifted, “I declined obviously.”

“She’s your Aunt. Would she really kill you?” Pete Ross asked.

Kara laughed-

(Astra begs her to listen. She doesn’t want to hurt her, not really. She’s already tried to intimate her through power, but it didn’t work. She uses emotion now and it almost works. But they’re both headstrong, trying to get the other to their side. They still care, they still love each other, but they are both so set in their beliefs.)

-“Yes,” Kara said, “If she doesn’t see any other way- If she honestly believes I can’t be converted to her cause, then yes, she will kill me.”

“So why hasn’t she?” Harper asked.

Kara turned to him, “Like I said the situation around them is complicated.”

“You don’t believe they’re guilty,” Harper said.

“I believe they were forced into making their decision due to circumstance-”

“And would you have made that decision?” Harper asked.

Kara kept quiet and just looked at him. He already knew her answer, they all did.

Pete Ross cleared his throat and she turned to him, “So after the prisoner exchange?”

“You will send your request through Non. The place needs to be neutral ground, in this situation a place without buildings and you will need a red sun lamp. There will be two people from each faction, the mediator and the soldier. Each soldier is allowed one weapon, but the mediator is allowed none. The weapon will be placed in full view. Agreements can only be done during the day, religiously under the watchful gaze of Rao, the sun god.

You will both present what you stand for, or what your end goal is. This means Astra will tell you her plan and why she wants to execute it. In response, you will tell her why you want to stop her. Most faction disagreements result in the same end goal but different methods.

Here is where diplomacy comes in. You have to find stable ground. Or something you can both agree on.” Kara tells them.

“And do sides stop fighting while this goes on?” Pete Ross asked.

“Depends on the first meeting. If you come to the agreement of stopping, it stops, but if you don’t,” Kara said shrugging.

“And what kind of things stop the truce all together?” Pete Ross asked.

“Double Crossing, trying to attack the meeting area, and most importantly, any disrespect to any female,” Kara told them. She watches as Pete Ross notes down what she said while Harper rolled his eyes.

“So what do you plan on doing?” Harper asked.

Kara sighed, “I need to find the meeting place, which I should have by the end of the day at the earliest. If I do, then tomorrow I’m exchanging Non for Alex.”

“I am ordering you not to,” Harper said as he walked towards her, stopping right in her face. It was amusing, watching him try and intimidate her with his height.

“I don’t take orders from you,” Kara said and patted him on the cheek condescendingly. She then turned to J’onn, “I’ll be back tomorrow. If anything happens to Non…”

Kara left the threat open before heading to the exit.

0000

Extra:

“What do you plan on doing with me,” Alex asked Astra when Astra ended the transmission.

“With you?” Astra asked, stepping closer to her, “Nothing. I have made an agreement with my niece. She will ensure Non is unharmed and I will allow nothing to occur to her Shesurie.”

“Shesure-y. What does that mean?” Alex asked.

“Soul sister, or soulmate if you prefer,” Astra told her.

“Soulmate?” Alex asked, trying to hide her surprise. She knew she and Kara were close, but it wasn’t like that.

Astra rolled her eyes, dramatically and obviously, like she was doing the action forcefully, “Humans. Obsessed with the sexual. A soulmate is hardly even sexual on Krypton. It is the person you know well, the one that thinks like you, yet is your opposite. They complement your personality and they strive to make you better, to help you succeed. They are the one that would willingly lay down their life for you, yet you are the reason they will fight to live another day… that is why it is more common to call you platonic soulmate, soul sister or soul brother.” 

“Oh,” Alex said, looking away. She knew that was everything Kara was to her, but the fact that Kara accepts that Alex was all those things to her that she would even label it…it made it feel…more.

“Do you deny your connection with my niece?” Astra said, bending down to place her hands on the armrest of the chair, next to Alex’s arms, putting her face less than an inch from Alex’s

Alex looks her in the eyes, “No.”

“Good,” Astra said and stood up, walking back to the glowing circle.

“What about you. Are you going to deny your connection to her? You’re her Aunt, but you’re trying to kill her,” Alex said.

“Do you honestly believe I want to kill her… I have thought of her as my daughter. I would never wish her harm,” Astra told her.

“And what about Non?” Alex asked and she saw several emotions flash through Astra’s eyes.

“Non… Kara was still young when Non left her life. He is a soldier; he will do his duty-”

“You’re lying,” Alex interrupted.

Astra glared at her and looked away, refusing to talk to her again.

So, something was going on with Non… something that makes even Astra doubt Non will do what he needs to do-

Kara was also acting different, has been for some time… were these two incidences connected?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Shesurie: Shesur (Soul) & ie (Sister)  
> We hear about Lena! Sorry, no actual Lena yet. Wouldn’t be for a long while.  
> Sorry it’s a day late, I’m having problems with my computer. Thankfully my story is saved in multiple places, but not all of them are the same level of update.  
> If you guys find spelling mistakes or see something that doesn’t make sense, please tell me, I do appreciate it.  
> I’m going to try to respond more to reviews, so if you have a question or would like to drop a comment, it is appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> End  
> 00000  
> Hypoglycemia: AKA Low blood glucose. I gave Kara this because it just seems to make sense. With her extremely high metabolism, this just seemed logical.  
> Description of Kryptonite pain: I always wonder just what it felt like to be near Kryptonite. Was it like any other radiation that burns the flesh from your bones? Is the only reason it doesn’t happen immediately because of the Supers’ healing ability? What if when their powers run out. Is it their very physiology that is affected by Kryptonite or because of their powers that the radiation effects them? In the comics, Lex Luther gets cancer because of his years of being exposed to Kryptonite.  
> Kara’s Background with Non: We got nothing from the actual show, so I’m throwing my own ideas in there. From what Non said in Ep 8, it sounds like he wasn’t either really in her life, or stopped being in her life after a certain age. I choose the second one.  
> Non’s history with Indigo: Again, we didn’t get much background on that. Personally, I feel like they only threw in the infidelity to make us hate him more. Because if you really look at it, Non honestly looked like he loved Astra. I don’t understand how someone could cheat in that situation, but I’m not married. What do I know?  
> Non and Astra being Nice: Before you go on about how Non would never be nice to Kara go back and watch the first two episodes of Season 1. Astra spoke like she was willing to kill Kara in episode 1 and fought her like she would in episode 2. Again, I feel like they only gave her a redemption arc because the actress couldn’t keep playing the character. Otherwise, she would have been the big bad with Non. As for Non, I feel like Indigo manipulated him a lot those last two episodes. He didn’t seem like he wanted to kill Kara or even hurt her, but Indigo convinced him to. And I feel like Kara could have gotten through to him using Astra’s death if it wasn’t for Cat, Max, and Indigo.


End file.
